3 yo long time graduate, starts peeing in her own bed

[mommatooth]

my dd at 38 months wanted her own bed- well I thought we would try it and she LOVES it.  She is so proud and feels very grown up to tuck me in and go to her own room... I am amazed.  The drawback, she has been wetting the bed every night.  This girl slept in my bed, in firend's beds, in hotels- wherever, without my concern for her peeing while asleep.  It simple hasn't happened in over a year.  So, I made her some training pants, which don't work because she is 40 pounds and well... so after a week of non-stop bed laundry and frustration, I bought her some diapers.  She LOVES them.  My daughter has never had diapers and theyhave princesses on them and she can pee the bed and "nothing gets wet"  (her quotes) OOPS.  I tried explaining to her about NOT wearing diapers and she says "she is still learning"  she is facinated by diapers.  Now before you scream at me (because I have beat myself enough :) know that I am a single mom and we just moved across the country and things are busy here- the diaper purchase broke my heart, but I needed to not shame my child or do any more laundry that week- something had to give.  The question is, what do I do now?  I am at the point of either buying more diapers and hoping she will move through this, saying oops, that doesn't teach what I believe (and it DOESN'T) bracing for who knows how many messy beds, waking her at night to see if she has to go (which I have never done- she always woke me or just slept dry).

oh EC mommas help me, I do not want to be frustrated about this or teach my dd shame!  When I ask her she says she likes her own bed and she likes her diapers- we should buy more. ugggh.

[Carlyle]

First off--don't beat yourself up!  You're doing a great job, and just like it does when they're babies "this too shall pass."  Obviously your dd knows how to do it, but she's fascinated with the diapers.  Nothing wrong there.  Is it that they're disposable and you don't like going through them/throwing them out?  I think any of your suggestions will work, but the important thing is to figure out what will help you get through this phase without feeling frustrated and turning this into a battle with your dd (and at 3 years old, we know battles, yes?  Yikes.  My dd is a MASTER at holding her ground when she wants to be!)

I think your three suggestions are all good (buy more diapers, say no to diapers and brace for lots of sheets, getting her up to pee before you go to bed).  A couple of ideas that you might adapt are:

Buy a waterproof mat for her and see if sleeping on that makes a difference in the amount of laundry?

Tell her that she can only stay in her own bed if she can do it without wetting the bed...not as punishment, just because you can't handle the laundry (at 3, hopefully she can understand this distinction)...then have her come back in bed with you for a night.  If she doesn't wet the bed, great, she can go back to her own bed.  Then if she wets her own bed it's back into your bed for a night?  You'd have to make sure this wasn't punitive somehow...perhaps teach her to help you with the laundry?  If she helps you with the laundry (stripping and remaking the bed, washing, drying folding) then she can still sleep in her own bed?  At least that puts her a bit more control if she really is struggling with not wetting her own bed for some reason.

Tell her that if she loves the diapers so much, she can wear them any time she wants, but that you're only buying one more pack?  So that she has incentive to make them last?  My dd is somewhat fascinated with diapers too, and we have a battered old pair of pull ups in her dress up box...occasionally she'll decide to wear them around for a day (not to pee in, just to experiment or play or something).  If your issue with them is just that you don't want to keep buying and throwing them away, you can limit her to just using them as panties during the day (until the novelty wears off), and work on another solution for night time?

Just thinking "out loud" here...is she verbal enough that you can involve her in the brainstorming?  At least to flesh out the reasons she's wetting the bed and the reasons that she likes the diapers so much?  I occasionally have a bit of success with this with my daughter, but she's a bit older now and it surely doesn't work every time...