He has been diagnosed as bipolar in the past when I got him to go to the doctor but he will not take medication for says he doesn't like the side effects.
Just wanted to point out that this is *classic* for bipolar disorder.
This is not your problem. It's his. He is mentally ill. Whichever end of the mood swing he's at, his perpective on reality is not healthy. Telling you to quit nursing school and just get a job is a good example of that, actually.
None of this is an excuse for verbal abuse, but that is probably a symptom of this deeper problem. Maybe getting it clarified that he is mentally ill and not in treatment will help you better figure out what you need to do about this.
I have a friend who left her husband because he was bipolar and severely abusive. They were in a church where divorce is a BIG no-no. She had to separate, because it had reached the point where she'd had to install deadbolts on her children's bedroom doors so they could keep their father out at night and have a safe place to go to if he went bonkers during the day. :( She will not divorce him, but she is living in another state and won't return until he is in treatment and has assurances that their home church will require him to *stay* in treatment. I do know some people who have successfully stayed married to someone who struggled with this disorder, but they had to be very, very firm that treatment was a condition of staying married.