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tired of opinions (and pic of alden)

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 

i desperately  need some encouragement before i lose it completely. alden was born 12/20, now 8 days old. we left the hospital asap on the 22md and have been trying to bf at home with major issues (latching, supply) which i think are the result of the c-section, for which, of course i blame myself. making everything unbearable is the weight loss and the slew of opinions flying around dh and i: midwife says to keep bfing exclusively to up the supply and demand. ibclc MIL who is camping out in our living room is pushing another trip to the hosp. the pediatrician made a house call today and is sending us for a blood test and recommended sugar water supplementation (5%). my parents keep calling and suggesting things. i am so exhausted from this colicky jaundiced LO that i am ready to give up and bring him to the wolves at the hosp. who cut me up a week ago. i feel i already let him down once with the traumatic birth, i dont want to let him down again, but he is so tiny... here is a of him looking healthy at 9 lbs on day 1



post #2 of 12

I'm so sorry you're frustrated and upset greensad.gif


Please don't feel like supplementation is "letting him down." I know of plenty of mamas who have needed to supplement until their supplies were better established. Yes, nursing according to supply-and-demand should definitely help, but sometimes baby does need additional nutrition. If baby gets too hungry, he gets sleepy- which won't help breastfeeding issues at all.  If supplementation is truly warranted (I'd trust the IBCLC on this one), I strongly recommend trying to find donor milk (google "Milkshare" and "Eats on Feets"- both sites allow for coordination between donor mamas and those who need breastmilk for their little ones.  Hope this helps! hug.gif


He is so beautiful! 

post #3 of 12

 I am so sorry to hear about your rough birth and now nursing issues. It sounds very similar to my experience with my first. I had to supplement with formula with my first son for a little while as we learned to nurse, but didn't need it long, once we fixed latch and he really started getting out the milk. I cried and was upset, but it was the right decision and I did trust the IBCLC I was working with and her advice. There is still tons of hope for nursing, and know that you will look back on this in the future as a challenge you overcame.

post #4 of 12

DDDC I'm so sorry! We went through something similar with my dd2 and looking back, I wish I'd just supplemented for a few days.  DD was so sleepy, losing weight, dehydrated, but I pushed to nurse exclusively. Yes, we got over the hump, but not after 8 days (!) on a bili blanket (at home) and numerous trips to the hospital for heel pricks and so.much.worry.  It was so stressful and unhappy for all of us. I think our agony would have been cut short by a few days of supplementation with sugar water or formula and a fast flow nipple (or some other easy access way to consume it). You are NOT a failure if you have to do this.  And if it can bring peace to you and your sweet baby, don't feel bad about it for a moment. Best of luck, mama! Your babe is adorable!

post #5 of 12

Some of the best encouragement I got when we had to supplement was...


Remember that you are still Alden's mommy.  Even if you cannot feed him 100% by yourself right now, you still know him and love him in that special way that no one else can.  And no one can take that away from you.


Parenting is all about making the best decision you can with the information you have given your particular circumstances.  As long as you are doing the best you can...what more could your baby ask for?


I know that both of those can seem really ambiguous.  I know  confusing all that conflicting information can be.  If it is any consolation, both my sister and I weighed 1 pound under our birth weights at 1 month old, before my mom started supplementing with formula, and we turned out just fine! 

post #6 of 12

Please remember that with a c-section, that can impact your milk supply.  And I understand how upset you are about the c-section, so I don't say that to pour salt into the wound (so to speak), but knowing that those things can affect your supply, can help you to move forward.  My c-section was totally unnecessary and I was so mad at those people.  And, I had complications which I almost died from.  Scary times.


If your baby is getting super sleepy and not eating enough (and you are not getting enough wet and poopy diapers in a day), then it may be wise to supplement a little bit.  Just try to pump (do you have a good one?) for every feeding that he gets by bottle.  The important thing about bottle feeding is to still work on the latch for the bottle and use a super slow flow nipple.  Also, don't let the baby just scarf down 3 oz, stop in the middle and burp (just to give the baby a chance to breathe and keep things similar to breastfeeding).  And there are lots of herbs you can use to increase milk supply and they really do work.  Also, starting putting back some oatmeal as well (I saw definite increases in milk amounts when I ate oatmeal).


Just so you know, after my c-section, I had to go back into the hospital and my son was fed formula for a month (because I could not nurse because of the complications I had).  We then went back to the breast and he still nurses once a day and he is 3 years old.  The important thing is to do the best you can right now.  Pick the one or two people you want advice from and work with them.  Opening yourself to the world is confusing, and can be annoying. 


You are doing great mama!  Really.  And the 2 things wholewheatchick said is absolutely correct.  Please post if you need more encouragement, that is what we are here for!

post #7 of 12

He is beautiful! Congratulations.


I had to supplement with my now 22-month-old daughter. She was also born by c-section. I pumped round the clock to save up a supply for her but she was in the NICU, so she had to be bottle/tube fed and they fortified my milk for a while. I was so sad because I thought I wouldn't have a good nursing relationship with her, but once she was out of the hospital, we eventually got into the swing of things and I was able to nurse her exclusively for several months. I made blessed thistle tea (nasty but effective) to help increase my supply.

post #8 of 12

Just wondering how things are going...

post #9 of 12

So sorry to hear of the situation, hang in there, lots of good advice here. I have 2 things that come to mind: 1. SNS---keeps baby at breast for supply end of it but supplements. 2. Drinking some herbal tea, either Traditional Medicinals More Milk Plus or making your own with Fenugreek, Fennel, Bleesed Thistle and Goats Rue...Good Luck and hang in there!!


post #10 of 12
Thread Starter 

Aww, you all are so supportive and making me cry right now. Maybe it's because we just got back from a 5 day stay at the hospital. Our supply/feeding situation got so bad that his sodium level shot up and he had to get an IV. Our local hospital (fairly rural) didnt have the equipment to monitor him so:


1). 8 different nurses, residents and pediatricians poked him over 20 times for an IV because he was so dehydrated they couldnt get into his veins

2). they had to lifeflight him to the nearest medical center once the IV was in because of risk of sodium dropping too fast causing brain swelling that they arent equipped to deal with


5 days later, extremely low milk production, my DH and I working around the clock to try to nurse, pump, feed, supplement, trying to figure out what's the best forumla out there, how much milk from a bank costs all on no sleep while nurses, lab techs and doctors make their rounds into a tiny room we were sharing with someone else.... just got home now from that hellish whirlwind and trying everything in the world to keep the bottle away, waiting for him to stimulate me into more supply...

post #11 of 12

Unbelivable,,,,I am so sorry to hear of this drama.20 pokes, you must have been beside yourself!! Glad you are home. Try to rest every chance you get, nothing like stress to diminish a milk supply. Drink a nice thick stout!! Geez, wish I could buy you one!!

post #12 of 12

 I am so sorry. That sounds scary and like such an ordeal. I hope things improve soon.

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