I'm at a cross roads and would appreciate any words of wisdom or insight. For 5 years now, i have known that I want to become a midwife when the time is right. Cost of classes and education or other family issues have made me put this calling of midwifery on the back burner. I have kept telling myself that when the time is right, i will get there.
Now fast forward to my current situation and i'm starting to lose hope that it will ever be the right time. So i wonder, how do you forge out and make sure that your calling is enough to be fulfilling to the woman who ask you to serve them?
I have a 6 month old son and while my older girls are finally at the stage of being able to be left with someone during births and while i run a practice, he is not. And dh joined the military in the last 2 years. I look at possible deployments and his work schedule of constantly going to various Army training things (at least once a month for a minimum of 3 days at a time) as a huge determent in my goals for becoming a midwife and opening my own homebirth practice.
At this point i have laid out all the pros and cons and dh, while he is 100% supportive and feels i'd be a great midwife, doesn't really grasp my worries about running a practice with 1 small babe and no set childcare while he is in the military. My other big thing, is that in the next year and a half i will come into a lump sum amount of money that will pay for my schooling, preceptor and all costs that it will take to get my CPM in CA and start up a homebirth practice. I would really LOVE to set aside this money specifically for that. But, being the frugal person that i am . . . i want to have a realistic goal. If this is an impossible thing with dh's career in the Army National Guard, then i would much rather pay off all debt (though i will admit it would probably REALLY sadden me to do that and put my midwifery goals on hold for who knows how long).
Any midwives who have dh's who have no set schedule, or are military, or don't have a partner? I'd love to hear of suggestions or examples of how to make this work. BUT i'd also love to hear honest opinions if this is just not something that is going to work and if i should invest this money in other ways and continue to bide my time until i can really be the midwife i want to be.