Full-time Student & Working Mamas

[VisionaryMom]

Three months ago, I thought I was dying. After 2 years on a medical merry-go-round, my doctor finally did an invasive procedure and determined I had "unexplained masses." She determined these likely were malignant tumors and that the prognosis wouldn't be good if they were. Panic ensues. It turns out that the masses were a major problem, but they're not malignant. During the uncertain days, I realized that I regretted my original career field. I knew that already, but I've been doing this work for 9 years now, and I just thought I'd hang out until the little people were a bit older. Then, it hit me that I may not have that time. And that I've always wished I'd become an accountant. (Yeah, odd choice to move from a creative career to an applied math career, but there you go.)

So, I applied to school & enrolled full-time for the spring semester. It starts January 10, and I'm nervous but panicky. I loved, loved, loved college and graduate school. I thrived there, but I was younger, had more energy, did not have children. Though I worked in college, it was not like I will be working now.

I'm really just looking to connect with others who work full-time and go to school full-time (or nearly for either). How do you make things work? I'm self-employed, so I do have flexibility in my schedule, but I'm so terrified of making this all work. I basically have found that I can get jobs in accounting (though not doing the the exact type of accounting I want to do) with an associate's degree, so I'll be taking the courses I need (basically only 1 semester from undergrad transferred) for about 18 months. Then, I'm not sure what I'll do. At some point, I'll need to get a master's degree in accountancy, but I'll cross that bridge a little later in the process. I'm just itching to be working with number crunching all day! 

I'm afraid of how this will feel when we're in the thick of it and what it will mean to my family life, which has been...tumultuous lately.

[namaste_mom]

How do I make it work?

I work full-time with somewhat flexible hours. DH is a WAHD plus a volunteer coach at a local school. I have two younger kids and two elementary school aged kids. I take them to school in the mornings and get to work at 8:00 am, he takes care of the other two -- shuttles them to me to bf as needed, takes care of his business. He picks up the kids from school but drops them off with me at 3:30 pm. I do all the after school things, cook dinner, feed them, homework, baths, and bed. Then he gets home @ 9. At that point, I can clean up or I can do my work (I'm a professor). I am usually in bed by 11 pm because I am getting up with the baby at night and have to get up at 6:30 am to start all over again.

What has worked for me is that I schedule everyday I outlook, I schedule my meetings, my research (which would be your homework), when I pump, when the kids come to the office, when I have to pick up kids, the kids schedules, my husband's schedule so that all I have to do is look at the schedule. I also use the task part of Microsoft Outlook to keep me on task. I also carry a small notebook in my pocketbook so that I can write down ideas/things I have to do when I'm driving (which seems to be my only down time besides the shower).

Good Luck, enjoy the path to your new career!

[laurabfig]

jott.com is a great service that helps me keep track of everything i have to do.  it is a voice message system that you can call into to "email" a reminder to yourself of something you need to do.

hiring good childcare and someone to clean the house once every two weeks also makes things WAY more manageable for me to balance things.  right now i'm on maternity leave but as soon as I go back, we're going to have someone help clean the house again.

getting things done by david allen was also a great book that helped me with time management.

good luck to you!  it is so great to read about someone following their dreams!

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by laurabfig 

jott.com is a great service that helps me keep track of everything i have to do.  it is a voice message system that you can call into to "email" a reminder to yourself of something you need to do.

hiring good childcare and someone to clean the house once every two weeks also makes things WAY more manageable for me to balance things.  right now i'm on maternity leave but as soon as I go back, we're going to have someone help clean the house again.

Oooo, I hadn't heard of Jott.com. I'll check it out. For years, I've emailed DH things he needs to do. He has a folder set up for mail from me with a certain subject, so he'll say, "hey, email me that I need to X" so it goes in that folder. I'd love something like that for me!

I feel good about dd's daycare, and ds will be able to go there in the summer. It's actually been better for us than when we had a nanny because it's more reliable. (Yeah, our nanny had lots of "family emergencies.") We've discussed getting someone to clean, but we haven't made the plunge. We probably should because we definitely need it. I'm trying to tell myself that the money could be better spent elsewhere, but sanity is important, too.
 

[laurabfig]

Originally Posted by VisionaryMom 

Originally Posted by laurabfig 

jott.com is a great service that helps me keep track of everything i have to do.  it is a voice message system that you can call into to "email" a reminder to yourself of something you need to do.

hiring good childcare and someone to clean the house once every two weeks also makes things WAY more manageable for me to balance things.  right now i'm on maternity leave but as soon as I go back, we're going to have someone help clean the house again.

Oooo, I hadn't heard of Jott.com. I'll check it out. For years, I've emailed DH things he needs to do. He has a folder set up for mail from me with a certain subject, so he'll say, "hey, email me that I need to X" so it goes in that folder. I'd love something like that for me!

I feel good about dd's daycare, and ds will be able to go there in the summer. It's actually been better for us than when we had a nanny because it's more reliable. (Yeah, our nanny had lots of "family emergencies.") We've discussed getting someone to clean, but we haven't made the plunge. We probably should because we definitely need it. I'm trying to tell myself that the money could be better spent elsewhere, but sanity is important, too.
 

with jott.com you can also set it up to email your dh things that you dictate into the system....so it could be really helpful for you!!

[Indigo73]

I work full-time, while my hours are technically flexible, I manage my department (half the company).  I also attend school 3/4 to full time.  It's been interesting.  I focus on the fact it's short term.

It probably helps that the kiddo is an only and school aged. 

But it's hard, this coming semester there will be 3 or 4 days where I will only see the kiddo for an hour each morning, I'll be coming home a couple hours after his bed time.

I do three things for myself.  Well four.

1. I schedule study time at school.  No chores to distract me, I can read or write or whatever for 2 - 3 hours, twice a week.

2. I go to knitting group every week.  Yes there are times I just want to go straight home, but every time I walk into that coffee shop and pull out my knitting, so much of the stress just flows away.  If it's yoga or a run or a manicure or a reading group or whatever, find that time for yourself that isn't home, school or work.

3. Family Game night every Friday.  Sometimes it's just the three of us, other times we have a crew over.  My friends know that I am doing nothing but opening the door.  LOL, they are great about bringing awesome snacks and helping clean up afterwards.

4. Plot it all out.  There is a color coded schedule on the fridge.  DP knows where I should be, what class, on the road or whatever.  Meal plans.  Chore tables.  DP has his chores, just like the kiddo and I do, we are actually swapping our big ones this semester because it will work better for me.  He's taking over the kitchen and I am taking over laundry. (I really dislike laundry, sigh.)

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Negotiate & re-negotiate.

I will check out Jott.com.  We use Google Calendars & IM a lot to coordinate things.

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by Indigo73 

I do three things for myself.  Well four.

1. I schedule study time at school.  No chores to distract me, I can read or write or whatever for 2 - 3 hours, twice a week.

2. I go to knitting group every week.  Yes there are times I just want to go straight home, but every time I walk into that coffee shop and pull out my knitting, so much of the stress just flows away.  If it's yoga or a run or a manicure or a reading group or whatever, find that time for yourself that isn't home, school or work.

3. Family Game night every Friday.  Sometimes it's just the three of us, other times we have a crew over.  My friends know that I am doing nothing but opening the door.  LOL, they are great about bringing awesome snacks and helping clean up afterwards.

4. Plot it all out.  There is a color coded schedule on the fridge.  DP knows where I should be, what class, on the road or whatever.  Meal plans.  Chore tables.  DP has his chores, just like the kiddo and I do, we are actually swapping our big ones this semester because it will work better for me.  He's taking over the kitchen and I am taking over laundry. (I really dislike laundry, sigh.)

These are similar to the plans we're laying out. I set up a 2-week menu rotation. While I know that will get boring, it's what we have for this semester. At the end, we'll make some changes and go through the summer, then each semester after. I figure that's how it has to be right now. I'm also planning to start this week with allowing a chunk of food prep time on Sundays because I don't want to fall into the habit of eating out because we don't have anything ready.

I'm also working on a "family organization center" that I'm hoping to hang by the end of this week. I'm just in Day 2 of school, so it's the basic syllabus/introduce yourself/class policy stuff.

I like the idea of a plotted schedule. I have a schedule worked out and in my journal, but I haven't come up with an effective way to put it up for easy access for everyone. And then, of course, DS & DD both brought up spring soccer separately. We were really hoping not to do soccer this spring, especially because DH coached last year. They want him to coach again. He liked it, but ehh, the schedule is already tight. Still, we can do this for 18 months...

[Indigo73]

I forgot to mention, DP also works full time outside the home, is a board member for Little League and they have asked him to be Director for DS's age group (which means running all the clinics, coach and player).  He agreed.

DS also does swimming lessons on Saturdays, but that works out because DP & I both go and chat for that hour. 

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by Indigo73 

I forgot to mention, DP also works full time outside the home, is a board member for Little League and they have asked him to be Director for DS's age group (which means running all the clinics, coach and player).  He agreed.

DS also does swimming lessons on Saturdays, but that works out because DP & I both go and chat for that hour. 

I know. It's so tough to say no to those things. I was writing for an e-zine on a topic about which I feel passionately, and I just had to tell them that I cannot do that anymore. I just don't have the time right now. 

I'm hoping that I can study while the kids are at soccer practice because both will be on the field at the same time. I'd consider not going every week since DH will be there coaching, but then if one of the kids got hurt, needed to go to the bathroom, etc., then he would have to stop practice. The one time I didn't go last year, DD got hit pretty hard in the face with the ball. It didn't cause an injury, but DH said she cried a lot. Then, of course, she was mad because I wasn't there. So I'll just sit & study.