I think for all of you struggling with this it's a balance between what your priorities are. If you only want to go out once in a blue moon, then your child waking up and being consoled by dad - even if that doesn't actually console your child much - may be ok balanced with your need to stay sane and have at least a glimmer of a social life once in awhile if that is important. It's very understandable and even if your child is unhappy about it, they are still being attended to by a loving, attentive parent and that is very important. Once in a blue moon your child will be ok with this.
If you need/want to be away more often than that, then actually having your child spend more time with dad in the daytime is a great idea. Also some great advice I got when we were facing the exact same issue (and in my case DH was with DD during the day almost as much as I was because of his work schedule so it wasn't that she never spent one on one time with him) was to a) make sure we had a regular bedtime routine and then b) to give DH more and more responsibility (and remove myself more and more) from it on a regular basis so DD got used to having just dad at bedtime. This helped with nighttime wakings although we were still breastfeeding as well so she was still upset not to find me (I sometimes had to be away overnight for work) but she got less and less distressed about it with time.
Our DD is 2 now and we made a conscious decision to nightwean her because I was pregnant with #2 and the regular night wakings to BF were killing me. Nightweaning was awful for a little while there (we combined it with putting her in her own bed, which was a lot for all of us to adjust to), but now she sleeps better (and we definitely do) and wakes much much less, and will sometimes let DH comfort her back to sleep without even a whimper if she wakes up in the middle of the night. The process helps make it much easier for DH to put her to sleep as well as tend to her during the occaisional night wakings. She still has her once in awhile wakings where she is just not happy to not be with us and it takes awhile no matter who comforts her, but those are fewer and fewer. And she's a HAPPY camper when she's awake even more than she was before all this because she's much better rested now.