what to do been on strike for months...

[sosurreal09]

we were doing so good with EC and at 9 m/o she was saying pssss to me all the time and we had maybe 1 wet dipe a day (she would not EC at night though) then I had some problems and got treatment and w/e so she was using dipes FT for a couple months. Then I tried to EC again and she will sometimes but very rarely and mostly with poo. it's been 6 months of her essentially going in her dipe or standing up off the potty and peeing on the floor.

I feel like I have failed her. I don't know how to get back on track with this. I offer and offer and it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere. shes 15 m/o now and was hoping she would be graduating soon if not already (thinking this a LONG time ago) and everyone thought I was nuts and now it's not even working...

[Carlyle]

I don't think you're failing her at all--don't be so hard on yourself!  Most folks don't even have this on their radar.  At 15 months, there's so much going on.  it can be a good time to start up again though, just play it by ear.  Here are some things you might try (you know your dd best, so you have the best idea which if any of these might be helpful to her!):

1. maybe back off on offering and just tell her to let you know when she needs to pee.  At 15 months, she's probably starting to understand a lot, and may start to tell you again if you leave it in her court (depending on if she's stubbornly independent like my dd...maybe she's just asserting her own independence?)  Only offer if you are REALLY sure.  If she doesn't go, don't offer again until she tells you she needs to go or has an accident.  This helped with my dd a lot for a while.  I was offering too frequently, and she was getting pissed off.

2. Perfect the line "oops, you peed.  That's okay, next time you can try again to get it in the potty."  Say this any time you notice that she peed somewhere else (diaper, floor, etc).  There's no shame, but gives a quick encouragement to try again and a reminder of the goal.

3. maybe she just likes standing up?  If that's part of it, maybe you could encourage her to pee int he bathtub?  Perhaps the novelty will excite her about it again?

4. Just go for the first morning pee?

5.  Maybe just start again at night.  Oddly enough this was our most successful time for a long while.  In her sleep, my dd always signaled really well by popping on and off the boob if she needed to pee.  Every time she woke up, I'd try to nurse.  If she did the popping on and off thing, I'd offer the potty.

6.  Most importantly, don't get discouraged/frustrated.  Boy can they pick up on that!  If it's too hard for you now, just use diapers, it's a fine thing to do!  And if you're getting frustrated with ec, it's better to just diaper and not pass on that tension (speaking as the mom of a fiery little girly here!)

Good luck!

ps.  Make it fun when you can...we had a potty song (I like to potty potty, I like to move it move it, etc....yes it's dumb and ridiculous, but she loved it)

[mosomers]

Oh, man, I hear you!!!! I had this exact same thing going on! Even down to the part where everyone thinks you're crazy and it's totally not working and it makes you feel like all your hard work is for naught. When my #3 was 9 months old I got pregnant with #4 (surprise!). Morning sickness was not making it easy to do the EC thing so I let it fall by the wayside. At around 12 months, we started trying again. Nothing. Not. One. Thing. I think she peed twice for my husband but never for me. I was SO discouraged! The upside was that I think our foundation made it so that she never lost her awareness of her need to go so she would still periodically tell me when she needed to go. I'd let her try but she still never went. Around 17 or 18 months, she really stepped it up and was telling me ALL the time when she had to go. Still wouldn't actually go though. Our new baby was born around this time so I wasn't ready to capitalize on her readiness. At 20 months, I got my act together enough to section off the living room and kitchen of my house so that she was never out of my sight and really go for it. For a week she was naked and all we did was potty train. Every time she peed on the floor I said, "Pee goes in the potty" and cleaned it up. At the end of a week, we graduated to clothes. A few days later we went on vacation, but I was determined not to go back to diapers so we just brought lots of towels and clothes. When we got back from vacation, she had almost NO misses! Even though she wasn't potty trained by 9 months or a year like I'd hoped in the beginning, I'm still totally happy with being fully out of diapers by 20 months! 

So my advice to you would be to keep offering but mostly just watch for her to start telling you consistently when she has to go. When she does that, then it's time to go for it. I'm sure the foundation you laid will make a huge difference and that even though she's not potty trained as early as you'd hoped, she'll still be potty trained way early for Western standards. Also, relax! It's okay! I've discovered that it really does go so much better when I'm not all uptight and stressing about when the baby has to go to the potty. And when we miss, it's so much easier to keep trying if I'm not hung up on the misses of the day. Shoot, at this point, with 4 kids, if I remember to offer the potty to my 6 month old ONCE during the day, we're doing good! Just working on a foundation and every little bit counts.