My DS, my 1st, has ALWAYs seemed all over the place to me when it comes to sleep. He wakes as soon as light is in the room, so about dawn, or now about 8:30 as I am blocking off most of the light into his room - I mean if there is light IT MUST BE TIME TO PLAY! We started off really bad, kinda this rooming in/ CIO mix, due to a boyfriend at the time who turned out to be very abusive and controlling, and things stayed like this (the sleeping not the controling boyfriend bit... him, I dumped, and FAST) -- I loved sleeping with DS, but wanted him to have a "bed time". When I lived on my own I used music to try and calm the screams and would go to the other end of the house, not looking in on him again for a time (never VERY long, but a time), and he was always out by when the time I did. Sleeping like a baby angel, so cute and squishy. Looking back I feel like a witch of a woman, but I do not regret things I had yet to learn -- it just seems silly to me to do so. When I started living with my mate (DD's father and who I am currently with... not married by choice), he would sit out with DS after I would go to sleep, to keep him from crying, this sometimes took HOURS, but was much loving than what I had been doing... My mate would end up falling asleep leaning next the crib sometimes, :D Very cute. I would have been unable to function during the day at this time of my life if my mate had not done this for me. I was just at a loss in parenting, and a bit at life (things are much better now). With DD, my 2nd, we did/ are doing co-sleeping on floor-bed, and NEVER CIO, DS did some family-bedding when she was born, but my mate was "unable to handle" having DS there (we never talked about it to much later but when we did this is what he said) so DS was quickly and fully in his room, with my mate sleeping in there as much as was needed to get him to stay in there. I was with the baby, DD, at this time so the idea of me going in there never really came about.
I feel like DS got the short end of the stick and would love to make it up to him, but I am unsure this is even possible. My mate still dislikes having my son in the bed or room, as DS wakes up easy, works to wake DD up, moves a lot and makes a lot of noise when waking up (my mother has these very annoying hacks, huffs, and sighs, which she calls "breathing patterns" and I call making unnecessary noise or a breathing problem which she needs to address and DS mimics from when he would spend the night there) as well as a bunch of annoying sleep/ awaking up related things so I cannot blame my mate at all for his feelings on wanting DS to stay away. I feel like if I had slept with him more he would/ could have many less of these traits. Things also seem a little odd now because he is 5yo. I do try to make DS feel welcome to come to our room and remind my mate that it is okay and we can work though these "problems" (after having talked about it he felt bad for kicking DS out the first time but was so lost about how to deal with what he was feeling at the time) but it is hard in such a sleepy state so if DS dose come he normally ends up on my day-bed but not in our bed. I feel this is "nice."Â Recently DS has been asking me to sleep with him, but this has been while I have been doing work and needing time away from the kids. I do sleep in with DS and DD (she has slowly been sleeping more and more in her room, and start there just about every night as I am currently due in May with my 3rd) sometimes, and we are always putting the kids to sleep with everyone in the room :D very loving. I feel like I have made grate strides in my "nighttime parenting" but I feel I could have and can be doing more but maybe I am just guilt tripping myself...
So, are there any ways to make it up to my 5yo?
Edited by onlyAngil - 1/2/11 at 4:18pm
