Terrified and in need of advice

[hkitty1177]

Hi everyone!  After TTC on our own for a year, my DH and I have finally resigned to the fact that we are in need of a fetility specialist. Embarking into this next stage is terrifying to me, given that I have several health factors that would easily put me in the "high risk" catagory, but with that said, there's no turning back now.  I'm almost in my mid 30's and have been pregnant once in my life (6yrs ago ended in miscarriage) and was quite truamatized by our loss. After reading so many posts, I know this journey can be long, heartbreaking, and costly, but we all know it worth it and I hope each and everyone of you will get your BFP soon. This decision has really isolated us from our friends b/c they either have kids, don't want anymore, never had fertility issues, or simply don't want kids at all, so we really don't feel like we have anyone to turn to.  My hubby and I have been together for almost 9yrs, married about 6yrs, so everyone continues to press us on the topic of children, and our typical response of enjoying our marriage just isn't enough anymore. Can anyone reccomend a fertility specialist and OB-GYN that deals with high risks patients Iin MERCER COUNTY, NJ?  I would be willing to travel to NYC for a fertility specialist and travel within 20miles of my area for the right doctor. Any and all help will be greatly appreciated! Sorry for the long post ladies, but it's nearly the break of dawn and I'm just trying to gather my thoughts and emotions about this...

Thanks in advance for reading my post and I wish us all with the blessing of babies for 2011! 

[bcblondie]

I wish I could recommend someone but I'm not in that area.

Do you have a regular obgyn at the moment? You'll need a referal to get an infertility specialist.

[hkitty1177]

Hi bcblondie!

I don't have a doc at the moment, I left the last one b/c I didn't feel he was a right fit for me :-(  So, I'm on to find a new obgyn.  Hopefully I can find one w/in the next few weeks...

My sympathies... I have my own angel baby who's wings grew at 8wks2d in Aug '03. May this year be the year for ALL OF US to bring home healthy and beautiful babies. God Bless!

hkitty1177 =^.^=

[bcblondie]

If you have a family doctor he could probably refer you as well. If not, that'll definitely be the first step ,to get an obgyn or a family doc.

I'm sorry for your loss as well. I hope we both get a sticky bean soon.

[LittleEricJenn]

Hi HKitty1177 - hope you are doing well! You sound just like me and my husband. We have been married for 11 years and no children. We have lived a nice life and have now decided that we want to start a family. A lot of our friends have children and my sister has three. In fact, I swear she ran into her husband in the hallway each time she got pregnant - very frustrating. It's doubly frustrating when people think you're "just not trying hard enough." I also have some family members who don't necessarily understand our desire to have babies. It's a tough situation to be in and at some point it we just have to tell people to back off.

We have been TTC for over a year and my first step was to get all my hormones tested by my GYN - he ran a whole panel of test including prolactin, estrogen, testosterone, etc. He also did an ultrasound to check my ovaries. The last test I had was a progesterone test (have had this two months in a row now - low levels) and since it came back low he is prescribing progesterone therapy (Prometrium). He also wants to do what's called a Hystosalpingogram where they shoot dye into the fallopian tubes to see if they are blocked. Due to expense of this test we are opting to hold off until needed.

I would recommend you do as much as you can through your GYN first - at least initial testing. I've never been to a fertility specialist but at least I was able to catch the low progesterone through my regular GYN initially. Also, it might be less expensive.

Good luck to you!!!

[hkitty1177]

 Hi LittleEricJenn!

Thanks for the advice and I really wish you the best of luck!

[songtothemoon]

Hi Hkitty -- You are fortunate to live near NYC--a number of the top fertility specialists in the country are located there. Have a look at this article to learn more. 

Those listed include: 

The Center for Reproductive Medicine and Infertility at New York-Presbyterian

New York University School of Medicine, Program for IVF, Reproductive Surgery, and Infertility

Good luck!

[Lega]

Dear HKitty,,,

Am sorry for your loss,,,on other hand - you are able to get pregnant,,,Don't waste your time w regular obgyn about infertility (maybe he will do testing, but the RE will ask to do it again),,,still, you will need one ones you get pregnant...I found one after meeting other 3 loosers - nad the first thing I liked her for - she offered RE right away! I will be happy if she will take care of me when I will finally get there.

I picked RE by comparing the success rates and am traveling an hour. If you really want to have a baby that shouldn't be a distance limit! Instead, google for the best. And start antistress teraphy right now - no doc will help you if you will be stressed, tensed, angry or anxious!

Good Luck and let us know how you doing! (forums is only reason I stayed optimistic)

[hkitty1177]

Hi songtothemoon!

Thank you so much for this info!  As you said, distance isn't a factor in this case, and if traveling to NYC will mean having a baby, I'll do whatever needs to be done! Someone also linked me to this article and I can't wait to go over it with my DH.  Hopefully, this year will be my turn to be a mom!

[hkitty1177]

Hi Lega!

This forum has definitley been a lifesaver to me too!  It allows me to wallow in my sadness for a moment, but also allows me to gain perspective that at this point in time, hope isn't lost.  It's such a blessing to know that despite not knowing a soul on this site, we are very much a sisterhood and that brings me comfort and I don't feel so alone.  Trust me, I promise to keep my status updated, to let everyone know what worked/doesn't work for me, and as soon as I get my BFP my "sisters" will know!  Thanks for the advice. Good luck and many blessing to you too!

[Rachelette]

Hi HKitty, I live in Passaic County, and have been going to NYC to see Dr Caryn Selick as my infertility specialist. She is an attending and assistant professor at NYU and her office is near the NYU medical facilities which is very helpful. I really like her, though I will say that traveling into the city is sometimes the very last thing I want to do, and I wish I had someone closer. 

She is really knowlegeable and clear, and after almost 2 years of trying alone with a regular gyno, I'm happy to have found her. She is very proactive, and to the point, while at the same time being very kind, which is a great combination for me.  I've felt so overwhelmed by this, and in many ways alone, and she has felt like a guiding light.  http://www.mfcny.com/our-team/

The cons of her office are that there is generally a pretty long wait.  I assume I will wait for at least an hour - sometimes its less, but once you're in it goes quickly.  And I don't know about you, but my treatments are all out of pocket now, and the costs really add up quickly, though I assume NJ specialists would be comparable.

[renavoo]

Hey Rachelette,

I also see Dr. Selick! What a small world. I've actually been with her for 8 years-she was my general gyn too so it was easy to transition to her as my RE. We started working with her on my fertility issues since the end of last year. I do like her although I think that she's so rushed that I can't get always get my questions answered. Sometimes that gets so frustrating; I go back and forth about whether I want her to do my IVF, if I end up needing an IVF!

There are a few really great things about the office, however. Early morning appointments are available so that helps with work (although it must be difficult regardless, since you're traveling from Jersey!). Also, I needed to get my IUI yesterday and although they were not open, there were two separate options-one was a center right next door to Dr. Selick's office and the other option was Reproductive Medical Associates (59th and Madison)- I think that they are all partners or something to that effect. Because of scheduling, i had to go to RMA yesterday and boy, was it busy; lots of people got their IUI on Saturday. Interestingly enough, the cost of the IUI and sperm washing at RMA was around 150.00 less than it is at Dr. Selick's office. ALSO, the other Drs at Dr. Selick's office are great. I especially like Dr. Havrylieuk-she takes her time and she answers questions. She never seems to be in a rush. She's really young but she seems really smart and up on things. I also personally like the nurses there as well...hmmm after listing all the wonderful things about this office, maybe i will stay here for my IVF! However, since I have to pay out of pocket, I may consider RMA, if they are cheaper, like they are with the IUI. We'll see!

Here's the site for RMA if you're interested, HKitty!
http://www.rmany.com/

Originally Posted by Rachelette 

Hi HKitty, I live in Passaic County, and have been going to NYC to see Dr Caryn Selick as my infertility specialist. She is an attending and assistant professor at NYU and her office is near the NYU medical facilities which is very helpful. I really like her, though I will say that traveling into the city is sometimes the very last thing I want to do, and I wish I had someone closer. 

She is really knowlegeable and clear, and after almost 2 years of trying alone with a regular gyno, I'm happy to have found her. She is very proactive, and to the point, while at the same time being very kind, which is a great combination for me.  I've felt so overwhelmed by this, and in many ways alone, and she has felt like a guiding light.  http://www.mfcny.com/our-team/

The cons of her office are that there is generally a pretty long wait.  I assume I will wait for at least an hour - sometimes its less, but once you're in it goes quickly.  And I don't know about you, but my treatments are all out of pocket now, and the costs really add up quickly, though I assume NJ specialists would be comparable.