January Queer Conceptions - Page 11

[Graceie]

Originally Posted by prettyisa 


Gracie—that sounds like a good plan. I was sort of thinking the same thing—I did test today and yesterday, but it would’t have made a difference since I don’t get the sperm until tomorrow night anyway. But now it can come any time! Also, that is a totally random ferret fact! Poor little things—I wonder what they do in the wild if there are no other ferrets around?
 

Die : (  domesticated ones they either breed them , mate them with a vacetomied male or give them drugs to cause a fake pregnancy , or more likely fix them
 

[LibraryLady]

Good morning all~  Supposed to get above freezing today, I'm very excited!

Isa~  What an interesting QOTD!  I'm usually read a straight anyway, and I don't think the giant baby bump helps.  If I'm talking to random people (like on an airplane, for instance) I notice them look at my hand for a wedding ring, which I haven't been wearing on my swollen finger, so then I guess they just think I'm a slut or something.   I feel fairly sure that people think my 'friend' is very nice to come with me to the grocery store and dr's appointments too. It's always been this way, so I don't let it bug me, unless it's some guy hitting on me. Like Seraf said of her DP, I got lots of those 'how gay are you?'  I was always tempted to answer "I'm more man than you'll ever be, and more woman than you'll ever get".  

Escher~ I really hope this is your cycle. The opk dance is such a fussy one, is this it? Is this not it? Should it have been yesterday?  So aggravating! It's great that you noticed the trend in your insems and opk use. If, heaven forbid, this isn't your time, that info will come in handy.

Max~ YAY!!!!!  You are SO ALMOST THERE!! I certainly think a celebration's in order. Enjoy that shiraz while you still can!

Lise~ I never thought of it, but I guess you're right. In a closed community like yours I'll bet your news would make waves, though I'm glad the waves are smaller than you'd expected.  I also had to laugh at the possibilities of what might have 'happened' to your donor...

Rainbow mama~ Hooray for sperm ordering!  Get it going now and you  can be queen of the cute, bumpy sundresses this summer.  And I have to laugh at being a queer elder, but I guess it's true. I was dazzling some young'uns with my tales of AIDS funding protests in the '80s. Ancient history, I tell ya! :)

Gelly~ Ugh ugh ugh about all your 2011 ignunce. Who knew a coyote could do such damage!!! But maybe you're just getting the crap out of the way and the rest of the year will be brilliant.  I'm right with you in that Oklahoma becomes completely paralyzed by 6 inches of snow, but last year when I was in New Hampshire it snowed two feet and people were just out going to the store. Flights weren't even delayed! Still, I'll bet they'd freak out at one of our monster thunderstorms, where we're like "Ah, the tornado's going to go north of us, no biggie!"  I'll pass your congrats on to DP.  39.3 miles in two days is pretty impressive, it's true.

AFM~ Nothing big going on.  Aspidistra's crazy active the last few days. DP and I were joking about what she could possibly be doing. Playing wii-tennis. Rearranging furniture.  Tae-bo.  It could be any of these things.

[MrsPP]

Good morning everyone! 

I have been reading and following along but really haven't had much to add to the conversation just yet...perhaps I should have waited to join until a little bit closer to go-time...but I'm so sick of waiting! I feel like I'm just always waiting - and I know that it will only get worse :/ But the QOTD from Isa struck a chord in me. It is something I think about all the time actually. I usually get read as straight too even though I have short hair and love football  so I think having a belly will automatically push me even further into the straight corner. Maybe I'll just start putting more rainbow in my wardrobe...

I have a question that kind of piggybacks that one too - are you worried/nervous/anxious about future playground/play group interactions with other parents? I have already faced some discrimination by being "just the nanny" a few times and it sucks. I am not in the closet by any means but I do start to break into a sweat when I think about answering questions like "what does your husband do?"....I will be fine saying something like "oh, I'm married to a woman and she's an attorney" but my fear comes in when I think about potential reactions - especially if the kid(s) are around. It's a silly fear but it's been on my mind lately. Just curious if anyone else thinks like that too.

[starling&diesel]

Rainbow ... Your upcoming insem sounds dreamy!  Or, as dreamy as an event can get when sperm is involved.  Last time we did a FET we had a *very* good time the night before and the RE commented on my bits being a little irritated.  Maybe this time we'll take it easy. 

Library ... Yay for being home!  I see so many baby butches around our neighbourhood that I could be a MOTHER to.  Yeesh!  When dd was about a month old, my partner, myself, my sister, and her then-girlfriend went out to dinner to a trendy asian-fusion restaurant.  We were in everyday clothes, I had puke on my shirt, everyone looked haggard and tired, sister and her gf were bickering, the baby was tiny and squirmy and just as we sat down started to cry so I was nursing her.  And we were seated right beside a table of the trendiest little dykelets you ever did see.  All looked like they'd walked off the set of the L Word.  Not a hair out of place, everybody peacocking and being all young and energetic and flirty with each other.  We ordered our food, complete with a litany of special requests ("gluten free, no peppers, bring this first, that later, and could you A, B, and C while you're at it?).  We notice that the other table had fallen silent.  They were blatantly staring at us.  As if glimpsing into their own futures, replete with jeans from Walmart, running shoes to go out to dinner in, non-dyed hair, stained clothes, fluffy bodies, and bickering couples.  My sister, now thoroughly irritated with her gf, nodded her head and said loudly, "Yes, my clueless little darlings, this is what old lesbians look like."  The now horrified baby dykes settled their bill fairly quickly after that and fled, aghast, into the night.

wishin ... Much sticky-baby dust coming your way. 

isa's QOTD:  When I was pregnant with DD we lived in a very small town in the mountains, north of Whistler for anyone who knows of that ski resort.  It's a pretty open-minded place, even though we were one of just seven queer couples there.  No one blinked an eye.  I'm totally out, but only by way of DP, who is a very obvious big bulldagger.  Anyone who knew me also knew that I am queer.  Anyone who didn't know me assumed I had a husband.  Unless you look VERY stereotypically queer (and even then) you will be read as straight.  Unless you fly the flag or don a badge or a shirt that says, "The father is the other mother" or some such thing.  I never get read as queer anyway, so it was no surprise to me that being pregnant and then being a mother pushed me further away from an queer markers.  I get read as straight even more now.  If we get pregnant this time, I'll be visibly pregnant in Canada's biggest dyke neighbourhood, and I'll still be read as straight, by gays and hets alike.  Again, only people who know me know that I'm queer.  Folks on the street read me as straight.  I always come out when anyone (stranger or acquintance) asks about a father or husband or comments that DD must look like 'his' side of the family.  Not usually to my patients on the ambulance though.  I just avoid pronouns if they ask direct questions. 

Heck, we typically get read as a straight family considering that add a child to the butch/femme dynamic and most het folks don't bother to look too closely.  Dolts. 

Gelly ... I'm so glad that you're okay!  I hit a deer once and totalled my car.  A cop friend told me to tell the insurance company that the deer hit me, so that I could shuffle the blame along to the animal.  It's so traumatic to hit anything ... I imagine it shook you up.  And this IS your year.  You're just getting the difficult stuff out of the way now, leaving the rest of the year open to greatness!

Max ... SO SOON!  I'm getting excited for you! 

escher ... How are you feeling?  I've got so many fingers crossed for you, I can hardly function!

I'd do more personals but I've lost track! 

AFU:  Tomorrow is the u/s to check the lining.  I'll keep you posted!

[AmandaHope]

Originally Posted by starling&diesel 

Rainbow ... Your upcoming insem sounds dreamy!  Or, as dreamy as an event can get when sperm is involved.  Last time we did a FET we had a *very* good time the night before and the RE commented on my bits being a little irritated.  Maybe this time we'll take it easy. 

Library ... Yay for being home!  I see so many baby butches around our neighbourhood that I could be a MOTHER to.  Yeesh!  When dd was about a month old, my partner, myself, my sister, and her then-girlfriend went out to dinner to a trendy asian-fusion restaurant.  We were in everyday clothes, I had puke on my shirt, everyone looked haggard and tired, sister and her gf were bickering, the baby was tiny and squirmy and just as we sat down started to cry so I was nursing her.  And we were seated right beside a table of the trendiest little dykelets you ever did see.  All looked like they'd walked off the set of the L Word.  Not a hair out of place, everybody peacocking and being all young and energetic and flirty with each other.  We ordered our food, complete with a litany of special requests ("gluten free, no peppers, bring this first, that later, and could you A, B, and C while you're at it?).  We notice that the other table had fallen silent.  They were blatantly staring at us.  As if glimpsing into their own futures, replete with jeans from Walmart, running shoes to go out to dinner in, non-dyed hair, stained clothes, fluffy bodies, and bickering couples.  My sister, now thoroughly irritated with her gf, nodded her head and said loudly, "Yes, my clueless little darlings, this is what old lesbians look like."  The now horrified baby dykes settled their bill fairly quickly after that and fled, aghast, into the night.

OK, Starling, that does it.  Please, please submit some writing to LiteraryMama or some other lefty feminist/queer mothering literary magazine.  I can't stand it.  If you don't, I might steal it and say it's mine .  This is f*cking hilarious!

[LibraryLady]

Starling~ What a great story. I'm glad the young'uns were properly horrified!  And I agree, you're an excellent writer.

[justrose13]

AMom, glad to see you are back... i've been wondering what was up with you. i'm sorry things haven't worked out for you yet. i just wanted to wish you luck and also say YOU SHOULD POST THE VIDEO OF YOUR TRIP TO IRELAND!!! it was so good! (i have to admit, i wept )

[seraf]

Starling, that is too funny.  And one of 7 queer couples, also funny.  Our household is 2% of the population of our town, if there are any other queer couples here I haven't heard of them.

MrsPP, I think the world is getting smaller all the time.  Sometimes kids will argue with each other about whether Osha is a boy or a girl (his mom said he!  No, she has long hair!) but generally no one cares that I'm queer, if they even notice.  It's not like I'm doing anything dirty at the playground, just hanging out with kids.  You're right about people being rude to nannies, tho.  I sure had more trouble with that when I was young (oh, 20 year old with a biracial 3 year old?  people would move to the other side of the bus and ignore us.  That was certainly an eye opening experience).  When Osha was little, I was always open and positive with those daddy questions.  I figured he would have to answer them someday, so I should give him a good example (and when questioned he says, "I don't have a dad."  Never elaborates, never says that he has 2 moms because he doesn't call either of us mom.  The neighbors think I'm trouble.) 

[escher]

Hi Everyone,

Starling: Thanks for keeping your fingers crossed for me! That is a very funny story. It's neat that your sister is queer too. I hope that your ultrasound goes beautifully tomorrow!

MrsPP: I'm lucky to live in a fairly liberal city, but I'm sure I'll still run into some other parents who are uncomfortable with me being gay. Hopefully they will be able to get over it.

Library: Maybe Aspidistra is preparing for her future skateboarding career?

Isa: My RE feels like doing three IUIs doesn't increase the likelihood that it will work and it adds a lot of stress and expense. The research she has read is mostly about people doing trigger shots (which I haven't tried yet), and it seems to indicate that two IUIs aren't noticeably more effective than one IUI. She feels like since I'm not doing a trigger shot it may not be a bad idea to do two, but three is more than is needed. I don't know if she is right, but we're following her advice for now.

Gelly: I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard start to 2011! I hope that it improves soon!

Seraf: I think it is hilarious that you took a picture before you helped Ari up. I generally try to insem early, but it seems like even though I often schedule my IUIs before I get a positive opk, I rarely am actually able to insem before the opk turns positive.

Wishin'&hopin': Stick, baby, stick!

Rainbowvalleymama: It is my preferred timing to do an insem before the positive opk, but I find it really hard to actually do, since by the time I'm fairly sure I'm becoming fertile I'm often about to get the positive opk. Good luck with your timing!

Max: Hooray! Your IVF cycle is finally here! Did all your bloodwork check out ok?

AFM: 4dpo. Every month the prometrium seems to give me different side effects. This month I have an especially fantastic sense of smell. Almost everything and everyone smells bad. In fact, I think I can smell all of you through the computer screen!

[justrose13]

seraf, what do the kids call their other mom? i know they call you Baba (right?)... what will sara be called with the new additions? what do osha and ari call sara? sara?

queer parents out there, what do your kiddos call you and what do they call your partner? (and why?)

[seraf]

Wehrli, they call me Baba (for no reason other than it's easy to hear a difference between Mama and Baba).  They used to call her Mama, then they started calling her by her first name because her new partner called her that (about 3 years ago).   They've tried that with me, but always come back to baba.  Randomly, other people's kids call me baba, too.  What will the next babies call Sara?  Probably Mama, she used to say she was going to get them to call her YaYa because that's how little kids usually say her name.  But Mama comes with a whole lot more recognition.  I will probably keep Baba for the next kids, too.  I'm kind of attached now.

[AmandaHope]

Wehrli:  My DD calls me Mommy and DP Mama.  I think we did initially come up with that, but the funny thing is that we kept forgetting who was who and not being consistent.  DD, on the other hand, got adamant that we get it right (at about 14 mo) and started correcting us constantly. 

[starling&diesel]

Escher!!!! Heightened SENSE OF SMELL?  You're TOTALLY pregnant!!!  Come on, BFP!!!

AmandaMom ... When I've not got my paramedic hat on, I'm actually an author, so I've got a platform already, albeit not about queer mothering.  Maybe there's a book in there somewhere?  Right now, I write fiction for yoot.  Thanks for the compliment! 

Wehrli ... DD calls me "mama" and my partner "baba."  When we were trying to think up what we wanted to be called, DP didn't want to be called mama, mom, or mommy.  She didn't feel drawn to any of those.  After reading lesbiandad's blog, I learned that "baba" is gaining popularity as a moniker for the (typically) non-gestational parent.  DP loved the idea and the story behind it, so we went with that. These days DD is often shortening Baba to "Ba." 

seraf ... 2% of your town's population ... right on!

[AmandaMom]

Library - I can't believe your baby is the size of an eggplant already! I am so happy for you! So how far along does that make you?

Lisedea - Thanks for the smiley fix! I heard that three insems in one cycle will ALMOST ALWAYS get you pregnant. That said, I've never done more than one vial in a cycle. LOL

escher - How many cycles have you tried so far? My fingers are crossed for you until you get that BFP in a week or so!

max - How exciting! I hope you had a great time celebrating.

Isa - I've never been pregnant, so I can't say for certain how people will perceive me, but people are usually shocked to hear I'm gay. I'm sure the same will apply when I do get pregnant. That's all right, though. It's fun to shock people.

rainbow - I cracked up at the image of your DP putting on an extra pair of sleep pants after your insemination. I'm sure mine would do the same had she thought of it! So do you live in Eugene, then? DP and I fell in love with Oregon (Eugene in particular) in 2008. We almost moved there, but we had an offer we couldn't refuse that convinced us to move to NC (DW's parents bought us a house).

Graceie - Fingers crossed everything works out for you this cycle!

gellybean - Sorry 2011 hasn't been great for you so far. Hopefully you'll have a baby this fall, and it will all be worth it!

MrsPP - I think most of us are a little hesitant to come out to complete strangers... I read in a queer parenting book that it's best for the kids if you are very up front about it, especially in front of them. If you get any flack from other parents, the children will see how you react to it. It sounds logical, but it takes guts.

Starling - I enjoyed your story about the hipster baby dykes at the restaurant. Good luck with your u/s tomorrow!

Wehrli - Thanks for the welcome back. I've enjoyed keeping track of your pregnancy on Facebook! I'm glad you liked our honeymoon video... It makes me tear up sometimes too. I actually get sad when I think of how much fun and excitement we had in Europe. I want to go back to Ireland. Like yesterday. I'll see what I can do about sharing the video on here.

So sorry if I missed anyone!

AFM, I've made it to CD8 alive. I usually ovulate between cd 18-25, but I'm hoping the clomid pushes that up a bit. I've finished my clomid, and not a moment too soon. Seeing a dead deer on the side of the road brought me to tears, and don't even get me started on the happenings in Tucson. We watch Nightly News with Brian Williams (LOVE HIM!) every night, and he's been broadcasting from Tucson trying to give more details and insight into what happened there. It's so sad and depressing. Ugh. Actually, these things would probably make me cry even without infertility drugs pumping through my veins.

[AmandaMom]

Okay folks, here it is! We were married by a justice of the peace on August 6, 2010 at a park in Northampton, MA. We spent two weeks in Ireland with a quick, 2-day trip to London thrown in the middle for good measure. It was AMAZING.

Our wedding pictures can be viewed here.

Our honeymoon pictures can be viewed here.

Our honeymoon video can be viewed here.



For those that don't know who is who: I am the redhead, and Sue is the sexy brunette.

The photo links are to my facebook albums, so anyone feel free to add me as a friend.

[LibraryLady]

Hey IVF Ladies~ sounds like good advice!!!  

Wishin~ I totally forgot to cheer for you earlier. Hooray!! I like your beta, and keep us posted about its doubling action!

Escher~ I think skateboarding sounds about right too. Lawsey, this girl...

AMom~ I'll be 27 weeks on Saturday. She's a pretty feisty one, and ahead of the curve on size. I'm wondering now if we'll make it all the way to our due date, and if we do, just how jumbo she'll be! I have everything crossed for you on this cycle. Escher's bringing Team Amanda Round 2 to the Q&P board, and you're right behind her!!!  And the photos are AMAZING!!!!!

[AmandaHope]

Originally Posted by starling&diesel 

Escher!!!! Heightened SENSE OF SMELL?  You're TOTALLY pregnant!!!  Come on, BFP!!!

AmandaMom ... When I've not got my paramedic hat on, I'm actually an author, so I've got a platform already, albeit not about queer mothering.  Maybe there's a book in there somewhere?  Right now, I write fiction for yoot.  Thanks for the compliment! 

That was me, Starling (AmandaHope).  Have you published fiction already?  I'd really love to read it.  Feel free to PM me if you don't want to disclose your real name, but get ready for everyone else on here to make the same request!  Good luck with the u/s tomorrow!

Also, while I'm at it:

back to AmandaMom!  Now hurry up and get preggers so that we can hang out over at Q&P!  I'm excited for your first clomid cycle--it really boosted my fertility and made me feel like I had a good shot.  When do you have an u/s to see what's up in there?  I always had one the day after I finished the clomid.

Escher: Yeah...heightened sense of smell is a good sign--I never got that on progesterone, though I know it is possible theoretically.  In fact, that really just kicked in for me this week (at 11 weeks), and it ISN'T pleasant!  I can smell the dog and cat coming, and they are really not smelly animals generally speaking.

to everyone else!

[seraf]

AmandaMom, knowing nothing about the Blarney stuff, why do you have to be upside down to kiss it?  Y'all are adorabe.

[rainbowvalleymama]

amandamom:  yep, i'm in eugene.  my dp and i moved down here from pdx a few years ago to take a break from the city.  we started out living in a tiny wooden yurt fifteen minutes outside of town in an area called rainbow valley--hence the handle.  now we're in a fantastic house/loft in town near campus while i finish my grad program.  we've loved being here for a few years--but my best buddy in eugene moved to edmonton last summer--and i don't have enough strong ties to keep me here anymore.  plus, our future child will be biracial and we'd like to raise her somewhere where there are (a few) more folks of color.  

starling:  my 18-year-old radical/queer/feminist self would definitely want to kick my 30-year-old bougie, grad student, house-dwelling, baby-coveting ass.  i want to be seated in the corner of the restaurant, drinking wine and watching the "dykelets" scramble.  too funny.

wehrli:  mama is the name my dp and i would both choose--and my dp will be the one to use it partly because i'm going to have the biological link with our child.  i really want my dp to be recognized as a mother as well as a parent, so although we discussed lesser known mother-related options, we settled on dp as mama and myself as mum.  as an aside, if we weren't concerned with naming implications related to gender identity and such, dp would have been called papamama because she thinks it sounds rad.  

escher:  supersmell...nice symptom

library:  can you see the unborn moving around in there?  

afm:  headed to the coast for two days with my dp and our dog.  time to pick up some bread, cheese, olives, wine, coffee and get on the road.  happy weekend everybody. 

[gellybeangrl]

Thanks everyone...I am hoping that all the bad stuff in 2011 has already happened...and that there will be nothing good coming down the pike.

QOTD~ As far as names go I will probably be known as Mommy and DW will be know as PaMa. She came up with that herself...I told her about Baba, but she is pretty set on PaMa.

Yeah for all who are inseming...and baby dust to all who are in the tww.

AmandaMom~ that was me on Facebook...L Nelson-Parola. Sorry...I meant to sent a little note to you with the request but I forgot.