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January Queer Conceptions - Page 4

post #61 of 594

Krista ... I am so sorry.  How devastating.  Moving onto IVF is no simple matter, but if that is what happens, there are lots of folks on here who can hold your hand (so to speak).


Welcome, Mrs. P ... this is the right place to be!  Sounds like you're right on track to hit the ground running in March.  Sorry to mix my metaphors.


Library ... Glad the u/s went well!  Your childcare plans sound great.  DD hasn't been in care at all either, which means huge savings both financially and emotionally for all involved.  DP is with her on one or two of her days off, and then she's with my sister or my mom for another couple of days.  We're so thankful for the help.  It's standard to pay caregivers $15 an hour here, so it really would cut into our income enormously.   But then we also have a year's paid mat leave, so I was with her for that first year anyway.  We actually have paid medical mat leave too, so it meant that I was off with 65% of my income for 61 weeks.  I had to get off the ambulance at 28 weeks (not allowed to work past 30 on the ambulance), and she was born at 37 weeks, and so I was off that whole time.  Canada rocks for mat leave. 


Speculums ... wow, who knew it was such a complex choice?  My experience with them, outside of a "Pleased To Be At Your Cervix" party in my twenties, is strictly doc's office, where it's more "lie back and think of England" than anything else.  


ez ... what a roller coaster, hon!  Keep us posted!


chiquitayy ... Yay for being in like!  That's a great way to start being in love!  I'm all for vicarious dating.  DD and I were at the pool the other day and this totally hot butch dyke came in to change after being at the gym upstairs (let me preface this by saying that we live in a queer neighbourhood).  My sister (also a dyke, and also a femme) is painfully single after several messy relationships, so I'm always on the lookout for her.  I texted her to ask if she wanted me to hit up said hot butch for a blind date, but she didn't get back to me before said butch swaggered out, having slung on her well worn jeans over her boxer shorts, and put her lean, lanky self into what looked like a hand knit sweater.  I worried that maybe her femme knit the sweater and that she wasn't single, but I would've asked her out on behalf of my sister anyway.  I have pre-permission for next time.  Nothing like a dumpy, soaking wet mama with a toddler wanting to nurse asking you out on behalf of an un-seen sister.  Hot.  Yeah, baby.

post #62 of 594

 Isa,  I'm not sure if this will make you feel better or not, but when I was considering Clomid (1 cycle) and Femara (3 cycles) I did a bunch of research on the cancer risks.  From the studies that I read it seems that the cancer risk factors were primarily related to the underlying reasons for the fertility struggles, not the drugs theselves.  So who knows.


Krista, I'm so sorry.  It is so hard to watch people get prego after 1 or 2 tries when you've been at it for what seems like forever.  It's so so so hard.  DP and I eventually started joking that we were fertility good luck charms becuase during the years each of us tried to get pregnant we would watch friends get pregnant and have babies before either of us even conceived!  5 months into trying for our first, my BFF was told that she would probably have to do injectibles due to a high FSH level, but had to go through clomid first to get it covered by insurance.  And boom, she got pregnant.  First time.    And I so love her and her kids, but we both sobbed over it together.  I never in a million years thought I'd do IVF and I did and it worked, so I'm happy to chat with you about it if you want.  Hang in there.  And be kind to yourself. 

post #63 of 594

Starling~ I'm cracking up at your 'dumpy woman with toddler pursuing hot butch' scenario.  Still, if it works out, what a great meeting story!  Canada's really awesome about a lot of stuff. I'm lobbying for Vancouver or Toronto when DP starts looking for a job. She's a Brit, so it'd be easy for her to emigrate, and we're getting civilly partnered in the UK so I'd be able to come along. Plus, I've been to both cities and really love them, it'd be great in many ways to live there. 



Have any of you seen the documentary The Business of Being Born?  DP and I watched it last night and it was amazing!  All about midwives and homebirths vs. the hospital induction/cesarian cycle. You do get to see more of Ricki Lake than maybe you ever wanted to, but the movie itself is so worthwhile. 

post #64 of 594

Isa - Can you please move me over to "Waiting To O". AF FINNNNNALLLLY showed up on her own today. I knew she would after I called my doctor's office this morning. I feel certain she's saying 'haha, I am going to make you guess when I am coming.' AF - jerk! Cuss.gif



Mrs P - Welcome to the board! It's a wonderful place to have support while going through the TTC process. There's a wealth of knowledge on here, so ask away. Somewhere, someone will have the answer. I am amazed every day with the women on here.


Krista - Thinking of you.  


AFM - I am CLEARLY frustrated as hell. It's been almost 2 years, and we're still not pregnant. I feel we're a little closer, but still am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I know everyone (including me) says, 'oh it will be worth the wait' or 'the perfect little bean is out there.' Ugh! Today is not a day I want to hear that. I feel like a fat cow, bloated, and am annoyed to start all over again.


I'll call the doctor's office in the morning to see what hair-brain plan they have for this month. On top of this, every single show I watch on TV or every article I read on-line, somewhere, there's a 15-year-old who got pregnant by a random guy or some druggie who is blitzed out of her mind, pregnant. I feel so defeated right now, and not even a bottle of wine could make me feel better.  


Ok, rant is over. Thanks all for reading.rant.gif

post #65 of 594

Library ... A key element that I forgot to add is that I was stark naked at the time.  GAH!  And the toddler dancing around me yelling, "Boobies!  Boobies!  Boobies, Mama!"

post #66 of 594

Starling, you're right. That makes it even better!!!!

post #67 of 594

Starling - thanks for the hilarious story....and DD visual image. Oh, if only there were a rock to hide under! Hahahaha! Love it.

post #68 of 594

2ez~ Biggest hugs xo  and rant all you like! You're absolutely right. As I used to say, random drunks get knocked up all the time, but it's so hard for us.  Do whatever you need to make yourself feel better.  xoxoxox

post #69 of 594



Here's little Aspidistra's foot, with monkey toe. If the saber-tooth tigers attack, we'll climb the tree faster than anyone else!

post #70 of 594

pretty yes waiting to O or AF then O them we are inseming around the 25th the the midwife agreed to do the insem whoo hoo shes cheaper then the ND midwife is willing to barter part of the cost

I will do personals later IM wiped out for no real reason right now

post #71 of 594

Oh, and speaking of random drunks getting preggo without even trying, I have a dyke friend who used a buddy's fresh-from-jerking-off-in-the-bathroom sperm on an experimental whim at a party and got pregnant.  Then the second time she picked up some random gay guy at a bar and they did the deed (while somewhat holding their noses, so to speak) on the day she thought she o'd and got pregnant.  The third time she hit up some guy online for a roll in the hay on her o day and got pregnant on the first try FOR THE THIRD TIME.  Three tries.  Three awesome kids.  Three rather questionable ways of getting up the duff.

post #72 of 594

Library!  Love the foot pic!  Frameable! 

post #73 of 594

Monkey toe !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

post #74 of 594
Library - thanks for sharing the pict! She's adorable! I love the little foot and toes.

Starling - ugh! Why can't any of us have that same luck? I swear every time I turn on the tv it's a story about some teenage, a mother who abandoned a child, a homeless preggo, the list goes on and on. DP's worthless drugged out stripper niece can look at a man and get preggo. She has two daughters now and doesn't care for them one bit. The kids are always dirty, no bath, etc. It makes us furious!

DP and I have decided to "nest" and are taking a note from Max by getting DS a puppy. We are online now looking at local shelters and rescues. Good grief, here we gooooo!

Will post tomorrow after I talk to the doc's office!
post #75 of 594

sorry ez!!  many hugs to you and you are definitely allowed to vent.


starling, lmao at your story.  and your friend had some...interesting methods to get pg.


library, love the monkey toes!!  dp has monkey toes and it looks like both our boys do too.  alas, my feet are tiny (size 5) and my toes don't even have knuckles.  seriously.


afu, the monitor jumped to peak this morning, wooohoo!!  nice strong lh line on the stick too.  :)  we've had peak both months on cd17 now.  temps have been consistenly on the low side since cd1 so let's see if they jump up now.  :)



post #76 of 594

Ugg...I am sorry EZ :(.

post #77 of 594

Starling~ Lordy!!! That's quite a saga!!  Talk about lucky! Though I'm not sure gathering up the 'discards' from a party bathroom is the ultimate in hygiene, I guess whatever works, works!  I'd love to have been a fly on the wall for the dyke and the fag getting it on!  Do any of the guys know they're dads, or are these just her kids? 


EZ~ A puppy!  Whew! You're going to be busy.  I'm much more a cat person, I'll freely admit, but I enjoy DP's dog. Though it's also true I enjoy it being HER dog. Post pix of the critter when you get it.  I'm sorry about your niece's kids. Wish you could steal them...



Indigo~ Yay for nice strong lines, and for predictable cycles.  I hope this conception goes as smoothly.



AFM~ Last day of work before I go to San Diego for the library conference.  Still apprehensive about flying, but am trying to focus on the good things.  I just keep an image in my head of me driving into my driveway, home at last from all the travel.  I'm finding this a bit more nerve-wracking though, worrying about myself, the kiddo and also DP who will be on a plane to Florida at the same time. All of this without gin and valium. Think good thoughts for me!!!

post #78 of 594

Good morning! Thank you all for the nice, warm welcome smile.gif I hope I can ease myself into the swing of things here.


Escher - Thank you for the crossed fingers re: Nicki's interview! She says she nailed it - it was actually the second interview. They are also doing a third round! UGH. So she should know in the next couple of weeks if there will in fact be a third. I can't even begin to tell you all of the blog I've read! I was, no, am a little obsessed Sheepish.gif  We actually have one too if you're interested - www.theoppositeofoops.wordpress.com - there you can also see my extensive blogroll!


Indigo and Library - March does seem right around the corner now! I have a countdown app on my iPhone that I just stare at sometimes...7 weeks, 5 days, 20 hours, 51 minutes and 25, 24, 23...seconds until baby making month! And Library, that is the cutest foot I have ever seen!!! I have seen The Business of Being Born twice now and loved it so much. It really helped me figure out what kind of birth I want to eventually have, but more importantly what kind I don't want. Very eye opening!


Isa - Hi! In case you didn't put two and two together I am the same Kara from the above mentioned blog! We comment on each others from time to time - now I am here too! Thank you for the Howard Brown option - we are currently working with Chicago Women's Health Center but if that doesn't pan out then I will definitely keep them in mind. I currently work for two different families - two days a week I have a 3 yr old girl and her 2 yr old brother - they are only 15 months apart and keep me very busy! And then two other days I just have one little guy who is a couple of months away from being 3. They all still nap with is fantastic - it is my favorite time to get caught up on my schoolwork (and hop on here)! 


Starling - I like your mixed metaphors! And what a crazy story about your friend! It reminds of of when Bette and Tina tried to seduce that guy on like the first ever episode of the l word. 


EZ - Yay for a puppy!!! I am so sorry that you are so frustrated right now - big hugs to you!!!


AFM - Not much to report over here! Just keeping up with all of you lovely ladies :) Anyone drink Fertili Tea? Any idea on how to make it taste a little better? I've been drinking it for awhile now and it's just..so..bland. 





post #79 of 594
Originally Posted by starling&diesel View Post

Library ... A key element that I forgot to add is that I was stark naked at the time.  GAH!  And the toddler dancing around me yelling, "Boobies!  Boobies!  Boobies, Mama!"

OMG, this is hilarious. Are you a writer on the side, btw?  Your descriptions are hilariously vivid.  I could so picture that hot butch...  And  I so identify with your story--I think that on the inside, I still feel like a 20-year-old fit, sexy, slightly-fem baby dyke, especially when I see and make eye contact with hot queer women, but then I remember that...I'm not!  I'm a well-padded, straight-looking, suburban mom!  UGH.  As for Vancouver, I'm not sure exactly what I'd give up to live there, but it would be a LOT.  Not my career, I guess, or I'd already have found some way to make the move.  I grew up in Seattle and spent a lot of time there, and my BFF lives in Victoria now.  The incredible (ie, humane) maternity leave is only the tip of the iceberg. 


Mrs. P: Welcome!  So nice to "meet" you--hope your stay here is short and sweet, as they say.  Btw, I live in the outer (really outer) Western burbs of Chicago.  With Isa in Chicago and Wehrli nearby in S. Wisconsin, maybe we could organize a real life get together.  I'd really enjoy that. And I'm going to check out your blog--thanks!


EZ and Krista: Big, long hugs to you both.  Sigh.  I know that feeling of deep discouragement, and I hope it passes soon.  EZ: enjoy the pup!  We got ours from a rescue shelter, and she is a wonderful, loving, loyal pooch.  She even (reluctantly) accompanies DD to the bathroom.thumb.gif


Library: Beautiful foot, monkey toe and all!  As for flying, I was nervous, too, but I flew all the way from Chicago to Hawaii and back, and it was fine.  Just make sure to get up and walk around more than usual and to drink LOTS of water.  My sister-in-law did have one in-flight scare that turned out to be caused by dehydration, so keep the water coming, and maybe try to get an aisle seat so you can get up easily.  Good luck!


A big hello to everyone else.

post #80 of 594
Thread Starter 

Library!  That’s darling!  And funny that you already know she looks like you! 


Starling—Ha!  I LOVE the idea of you sitting there in the locker room being pestered for milk while checking out hotties for your sister!  Next time, just do it!  The few times someone has set up a blind date for me I’ve found it completely flattering that they even thought about doing it, so don’t hold back! 


2EZ—I was just telling DP that I think we should do this next time like I’m a 16 year old girl.  I’ll get drunk, go to the dr’s office for the insem, come home, drink, party, find some hard drugs somewhere (no idea where to get them since I don’t do them normally, but it is a key part of the plan!)  and generally check out of my life until a month or so later when I’ll realize that nothing fits right any more. 


MrsP—Oh!  Nope, took me a second, but now I get it! How do you like the CWHC?  I talked to them but never went in to meet them.  What's it like over there? It must be nice to have little ones to play with during the day—2 at once sounds like a lot of work, though!  And Ugh to third interviews.  Hopefully they’ll just decide that she’s the best one for the job and be done with it, yes?  

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