20 mo old picky eater- not sure how to handle this

[lkmiscnet]

I don't know what to do for our picky eater.

Many meals, he just won't eat what I'm serving him, though it's something he'll eat in a restaurant (e.g. veggie omlette).

One mom told me she wasn't going to be a short order cook, and her kids have to eat whatever she puts in front of them. I don't know if that's the tact to take or not.

I've kept him in his high chair for about an hour in a battle of wills with no luck. If I finally give in and give him something else, he happily eats it, so I know he's hungry.  I'll try to give him the same food at the next meal with the same results, after reading that you have to keep offering something they apparently don't like to get them to perhaps like it eventually. I've also come to the conclusion that he doesn't like leftovers much as opposed to when something is made fresh, which is not going to work for me since I don't have time to be a short order cook.

He will also try to drink his calories with milk. He is only about 21 lbs and I've struggled to get weight on him since he started solids. An expert told me not to offer him any liquids with his meals, but that hasn't worked out because he does get thirsty depending on what he is eating.

Even after sleeping for 12 hours, he'll happily not eat much for breakfast (a few bites of pancake). I can't imagine how he can't feel hunger pangs!

So, I need advice on how best to handle this.

Do I stand my ground and if he doesn't eat what I'm serving, just take it away and let him go hungry. And, when do I call "uncle" before giving him something else?

Even if he doesn't eat much, he doesn't cry like he's hungry. So, do I just not give him anything else then?

Do I need to indulge his pickiness and cater to whatever he wants just to get him to eat?

[thehighernest]

Oh I wish I had a good answer!

I can tell you that our 21 mos. old boy, who would always eat just about anything, has become quite picky, too, so maybe it's a stage at this age? He's practically subsisting on dairy products and fruit. That's about all he'll eat these days.

I *try* to have a relatively easy going attitude about food. I don't like the idea of having to make a completely different meal for him, but at the same time it's not really a big deal for me to put out some cheese and whole wheat crackers, or a yogurt, etc. for him to eat when he doesn't want to eat what I cooked for dinner. I guess it doesn't feel like I had to go out of my way to make a completely different meal - I just offer something else that I can easily take out of the fridge or the pantry.

Having said that, ours is a big boy, and I'm certainly not worried about his starving. So if really doesn't want to eat much of anything at any given time, I try to not to worry too much about it.

I also want him to learn to regulate his own hunger, so we're pretty open about letting him have food when he walks up to the pantry himself and pulls out an applesauce or stands in front of the refrigerator and grabs a yogurt shake. It may be perhaps that we let him snack TOO much and this is why he doesn't eat what's for lunch or dinner...but I'm not comfortable with not letting him have something to eat when he's clearly asking for something to eat, you know what I mean?

The only other thing I can suggest is not to give up on any one kind of food. I can offer veggie pizza one night and it will sit on his plate untouched, but the next day he'll eat it just fine. He's done this at day care, too - one day I'll send a wrap or sandwich that will come back uneaten and another day he might eat the whole thing. It could depend on his hunger level, or he may be just like me: I'm very particular about what kind of food I'm in the mood for at any given time, lol!

[aet.tea]

Hi there - I also have a picky 19 mo who is underweight (between 17 and 18 lbs right now) so I have made it a priority to get calories into her whatever it takes. Best technique I have found is distraction. I'll offer her a bite that she'll refuse, but if I give her a book she'll open right up for the same bite. I have a handful of books that are now mealtime books (so they don't all get food all over them) and she'll get to look at one of those while she's eating. I've found she'll open up for bites of foods she would never try without the book in front of her.

We tried BLW and other techniques; with her being so small I'm really just doing what seems to be necessary to get her to eat. I also give her bites of snacks in between meals while she's playing. If I let her feed herself in the high chair it just all ends up on the floor.

I would love to hear some other ideas/techniques, though!

[poorlittlefish]

ok, this is not something I recommend but as a mom of a very thin, very picky toddler, this is what we do some of the times.  We let her eat on a blanket in the living room (a picnic!!) and watch TV while she eats.  She often will sit there for an hour but she will eat quite a bit.  Again, we don't do this a lot for obvious reasons, just a couple of times a week.  I guess my point is that I agree with the distraction statement.

[redvlagrl]

I would just recommend that you read "My Child Won't Eat" published by the LLL. It's an excellent book on how to avoid food battles and is fine for the normal weight kid even though it is directed at the "underweight" ones.

It totally shaped the way we feed our kids. No battles, no issues (hopefully)

[KJunebug]

A book I enjoyed was FEEDING YOUR CHILD WITH LOVE AND GOOD SENSE.  Her idea is a division of responsibility, you pick when and what, they pick how much and if they eat.... don't let them pan handle for snacks, and keep them in a food routine, that way they don't learn to "hold out" for good snack food, and skip meals.  I always throw her a bone at mealtimes by putting donw something she will eat.

This said, she is still super picky and it drives me crazy with worry... she will usually eat a good breakfast, and after that it is a crap shoot (though they tell me at school she is a great eater... odd).  When times were particularly dark, I have relied on ice cream daily to be sure she gets some calories in there (though at an assigned snack time), or yes, the TV technique always works here too, though I haven't gone there in a while.  I have noticed the hungrier she gets, the more likely she is to throw a tantrum, and then she is too upset to eat, so when I am panicked I go for the TV technique.

and whenever I feel like I have been battling with her at mealtime, i return to fundamentals.... I choose when and what.... she chooses how much and if.... no fights.