Vent - It is NOT weird to nurse a 17 Month Old!!!

[NEastMomma]

Ugh - fun New Year's Eve dinner party almost ruined last night due to two drunk ffriends of my husband (guys we rarely see) "teasing" me for still nursing my 17 month old.  Telling me I have to get him off the boob and onto formula (um... formula?  Anyone know a 17 month old on formula?) and telling me that the reason I don't want to go away for a girls' weekend with their wives is b/c I'd miss my baby "sucking on my teat."  This was from one guy who's wife never even considered nursing and who ferberized, etc and the other guy is an unmarried guy with no kids.  WTF? 

I dealt with it best I could and the host and hostess "defended" me as best they could (hostess bottle fed her kids and just isn't well versed in brstfeeding info) and tried to change the subject.  Too bad my husband was upstairs dealing with our babe.

I fully realize that these were just some drunk a-holes who have no idea what they're talking about, but sheesh!  Get a grip people.  It is normal to still nurse!

Final blow - they thought we'd left and as I was tying my scarf near the front door I heard one drunkie say, "Well, we probably won't see them for another 7 months or so.  If she's still breastfeeding then...... "  Grrr!

[SpuglyRoo]

People are immature and either uneducated or wrongly educated.  And some of those things were incredibly inappropriate for them to be discussing.  I'd say thank goodness that you won't have to see them for another 7 months or more. 

[Mommy2Austin]

Originally Posted by NEastMomma 

Ugh - fun New Year's Eve dinner party almost ruined last night due to two drunk ffriends of my husband (guys we rarely see) "teasing" me for still nursing my 17 month old.  Telling me I have to get him off the boob and onto formula (um... formula?  Anyone know a 17 month old on formula?) and telling me that the reason I don't want to go away for a girls' weekend with their wives is b/c I'd miss my baby "sucking on my teat."  This was from one guy who's wife never even considered nursing and who ferberized, etc and the other guy is an unmarried guy with no kids.  WTF? 

I dealt with it best I could and the host and hostess "defended" me as best they could (hostess bottle fed her kids and just isn't well versed in brstfeeding info) and tried to change the subject.  Too bad my husband was upstairs dealing with our babe.

I fully realize that these were just some drunk a-holes who have no idea what they're talking about, but sheesh!  Get a grip people.  It is normal to still nurse!

Final blow - they thought we'd left and as I was tying my scarf near the front door I heard one drunkie say, "Well, we probably won't see them for another 7 months or so.  If she's still breastfeeding then...... "  Grrr!

I've gotten snarky the older I've gotten and quicker to lash out...I also don't tolerate drunken people well in general so I probably would have busted out with "Maybe you need to spend some extra time with your wives seeing as MY breasts seem to be a preoccupation for you."
 

[NEastMomma]

Ha!  Loved the comeback - I'll keep that one in my back pocket should anything like this happen again.  And yes, I agree - I'm glad not to see them for anohter 7 months!

Thanks for the responses!

[bcblondie]

I would have said something about the global average age for weaning is like 4.5 years and really 17 months is way too young to wean.

[lactatinggirl]

Personally, I would say that those friends go from "rarely see" to "never see". If your husband wants to continue to be friends with them, he at least needs to talk to them about boundaries. It's not okay for them to be insulting his wife. That's not what friends do.

Asking polite questions, even when they're slightly biased, I would say is a different thing. At a Christmas party, one of my husband's friends asked him if Peanut would stop nursing soon since she's 21 months old. My husband just told him that we have no plans on weaning soon. It made me kind of sad because this particular friend was so breastfeeding friendly in the beginning, but apparently we've reached his comfort zone. Hopefully, him seeing me/hearing me talk about nursing Peanut will move his comfort zone a to a little bit longer.

[peainthepod]

Wow, mama, they were incredibly rude! I would absolutely refuse to see them again and make it clear to anyone who asked about it exactly why. No one has the right to talk to you that way and anyway, your DH shouldn't be associating with drunken louts who insult his wife and child. Without a sheepish, sincere apology they would be completely dead to me.

Ugh, what a nasty thing to have to deal with on New Year's Eve! So sorry that happened to you.

[kismetbaby]

Argh, I hate that!  I'd definitely write them off as a-holes and be done with it!

My DS who is 15m was recently ill with stomach flu and when we called the nurse hotline for advice she would hardly believe us that he was still nursing. Jeez. . .you'd think a health professional would have some knowledge.

[Ambishop19]

I really hate this.  I'm getting it too with my 18 month old.   I'm not good at confrontation though.  It helps that he doesn't want to nurse in public much anymore.  I'm still open about it though when anyone asks.

[NEastMomma]

*Update: Hubby recv'd an email today from the married friend (he doesn't have my contact info) and he wrote a nice aplogy.  I also found out from hostess that that same friend woke up the next morning (they stayed overnight) and was really torn up and felt terrible.  The hostess let him know that I must've felt really attacked and that he can think whatever he wants about my nursing, but he shouldn't have said what he said, etc.

Hubby has not yet responded to the email, as he doesn't feel the guy deserves a quick reply. 

This is the 2nd time I've ever faced "issues" surrounding my bfing.  The first time was when DS was 9mos old from a former coworker at a party.  She too was apologetic and sent me a letter and gift in the mail.

Look, people can think whatever they want (even tho it is so disheartening when pple have problems with bfing), but what is up with pple thinking they can SAY whatever they want to a parent?  It is like once you become a parent pple feel free not only to pass judgement on you, but to let you KNOW about said judgement!  I am not very good at confrontation myself, and I am such a people pleaser that I always want pple to agree with what I'm doing.  But motherhood has slowly but surely cured me of that.  I know, to the depths of my soul, that what I am doing (bfing) is the Right Thing for our family.  And even if I had doubts, my pediatrician is very happy that we're still nursing and told me that I am not the weird one.  It is the pple who dislike it so who are weird.  I'm the one who is using my breasts for what they were intended for!  I was so happy when he said that b/c I thought it'd be ammo should anyone say something to me.  Unfortunately the two drunkos weren't very impressed with Dr. B's words.  Oh well.  At least my DH, my sisters and dad and all of you agree with me, not to mention the most important person: my son!

[StopThat!]

My son is 2.5 and he tells me he wants to nurse forever! I have no plans of weaning him, he was a high need baby and he needs nursing as a comfort - that's fine with me :)

He is on a schedule for nursing, just so I'm not doing it all day every day, so we don't nurse in public much anymore.

My standard come back is 'studies say that children who are nursed until age two are of average intelligence'. Then I'll ask how long they were nursed for, etc... usually works well. Also, knowing facts like 'the World Health Organization recommends nursing until AT LEAST age 2' makes you feel more powerful!

[Annie Mac]

All I could think of when I read this was Beavis and Butthead saying "boobies, heh heh heh, boobies." Only they couldn't say that, so they started in on the breastfeeding instead. I'm glad you got an apology. Are these guys young? I hope so...then there is some hope for them.

[NEastMomma]

Ahh, thanks all!  I really appreciate your replies - they made me laugh.

To answer the question, Beavis & Butthead are not young  - at mid to late 30's there's no hope for 'em!  My DH wrote a great reply to the apology email.  He's a man of few words, so I didn't realize just how p-o'd he was about it until he forwarded me what he wrote back to his friend. 

The silver lining is the wonderful show of support I've rec'vd from my sisters and friends and of course, here on MDC! 

Thank you again!

PS: Love hearing that mamas nursed their little ones/still are nursing well past the dreaded "1 year mark," haha. 

[shotmama]

wow! good thing they apologized!!!

DD is only 14 months, and i can't imagine weaning any. time. soon.

even though i've been told, 'if they're old enough to talk about it, then you shouldn't be doing it.'

eerrrrrrrrr hoookay.

but you know, it all depends on the mama. like if the mama is not comfortable with that, that's okay. but me, i just don't get it. 

[babygirlie]

What a way to alienate and make a good time a very bad time :(

For the record I formula feed my 20m old... happily. :/

[landgyrl]

Originally Posted by StopThat! 

My standard come back is 'studies say that children who are nursed until age two are of average intelligence'. Then I'll ask how long they were nursed for, etc... usually works well. Also, knowing facts like 'the World Health Organization recommends nursing until AT LEAST age 2' makes you feel more powerful!

I also use health studies to throw at ignorant disclaimers, my latest find is that every additional month i bf (DS is almost 2) reduces my chances of developing diabetes. I had gestational diabetes and am right in line to get it with family history, so that shuts them up pretty quick. I also wasn't bf so I don't have much family support/ understanding but drunk men - you handled it superbly and if they feel bad about it afterwards, good!

[Pookietooth]

Do they know how long the World Health Organization recommends we breast feed? I would imagine that it wouldn't make any difference but still they don't have any real facts about weaning to back them up. Sigh. (((hugs))) to you mama.

[Lamashtu]

Originally Posted by NEastMomma 

My DH wrote a great reply to the apology email.  He's a man of few words, so I didn't realize just how p-o'd he was about it until he forwarded me what he wrote back to his friend.  

Hey now, you can't just tell us something like that without giving us a hint about what your DH wrote!

[2xy]

I don't think alcohol is an excuse. People who say ugly things when they're drunk think ugly things when they're sober. The sentiment is there, regardless. Mean-spirited, bullying a-holes, if you ask me. I wouldn't spend time with them again.

[Pirogi]

Originally Posted by NEastMomma 

PS: Love hearing that mamas nursed their little ones/still are nursing well past the dreaded "1 year mark," haha. 

 DD has been nursing for 3.5 years.  I am 9 mos pregnant, so the last several months has been "only" colostrum  but she will probably continue and tandem after the birth.  We will wean when she is ready.  Don't let the drunk buffoons get to you.  And kudos on your composure!