Second and third-hand smoke?

[atpeace]

My cousin recently married a chain-smoking guy (no exaggeration). He smokes in their house and as a result everything smells like smoke, even her.

I'm really bothered by this, since it has affected my relationship with her. I used to like to have her visit us, but am very reluctant to invite her over since I hate the smell of smoke, and don't want to expose my kids to third-hand smoke (and it truly is very strong. I was lying down nursing DS at Xmas celebrations at my parents' house, and she came in the room and I got a really strong whiff as soon as she came in the door). 

Am I being unreasonable? How bad is third-hand smoke to kids, really? 

Also, if I were to invite her over, I wouldn't want her husband coming along (in addition to the smoking, and the pretty heavy drinking/drugging, I just don't like the guy!). Is there a way to do this tactfully?

And finally, I know she wants to have kids in the near future, and I can't see him quitting anytime soon. I feel like I want to shake some sense into her! UGH!

[soso-lynn]

I went in the home of a smoker during the holidays. She had not been smoking in the house for several hours before nor while I was there (for about 1 hour). After, I could smell it all over me and had to immediately shower and wash everything I was wearing, even my coat that stayed in the entrance. 

I would tell her that, unfortunately, as she is a walking cigarette, she is not allowed in your home or around your children. Maybe that will make her realize how awful it is or maybe it will make her hate you but either way, your family will be safe and respected. Even if somehow it were safe, you don't want your children growing up thinking cigarettes are ok.