30-Somethings TTC #1, January 2011: Year of the Bajingo Juice - Page 2

[Shellhawk]

Taxlady 1)  I love the pic of you two kissing at midnight in Paris!

2)  And I agree about venting here. I've vented more than once & have only been a member for a month! lol  Bel & Birdie, this is our safe place, right girls?     

3)  My screenname is just shortened versions of my first & last name.  Not original, I know. lol  My name is Michelle, so screenname Shell. 

Bel & Birdie, Thanks, and I agree I should use the first morning temps, but thought that I should maybe start that next cycle to try to keep the variables on this cycle down.  Just keep using the same later time temps till next cycle.  Or does that not matter, can I just start mid cycle with the earlier temps? This is my first month temping, and I've learned a lot!  Thanks for everyone offering help, it's greatly appreciated.

Caly - Poor girl!  Glad you're finally going to get better.  P.S.  If you get prego this month, maybe we should all try antibiotic butt shots... You never know what could do the trick!  

 This might be TMI, but once again, I need help with something.  I apologize in advance to grossing anybody out.   The past several BD sessions, we've used pre-seed.  I then lay there at least an hour (attempting at having my hips raised but not too much...) and then pee.  I might use it once before before falling asleep.  I usually wake up at 5:30 and pee again.  Later on in the morning when I wake up (and yes, again pee) I see stuff when I wipe that could either be EWBJ (since its that time) or leftover pre-seed & semen from the night before.  Im sure this could be left over since I've been sleeping all night & not walking around, but I've also pee'd at least 3 times before.  I'm not sure what to write on my chart & I'm not sure if we're BDing on the right dates because I can't differentiate between the slippery matter!  AAhhh! 

What do you ladies think??   Thanks in Advance!!!

I'm supposed to be Oing today (according to fertilityfriend) or tomorrow. OPK today was negative. I'll take another one at 7pm.  I use internet cheapie OPK's and the smiley ones. I use the cheapies until they say positive then double check with the smiley. I also usually use the smiley on the two days I think I'll be ovulating.

I'm also getting complaints that he doesn't like to be told when to BD on a schedule....and maybe he's not in the mood....   I told him I understand, but at our advanced ages (35 & 36 Wow advanced) we have a smaller percentage of getting prego even if we did it on exact right date anyway so we have to maximize our chances.  He usually comes around right away, but who knows how long that will last.  Also, I know today is an important night to BD, but I woke up with a headache and have felt nauseous and crappy all day (hope I'm not getting Grandma's flu) so I don't think I'll be able to BD. throbbing head ache.  Dang it! 

Val - Thanks so much!  Hope you get yours!  The book TCOYF is very enlightening!  I ordered it on Amazon one night and it arrived a day later (the day AF arrived, so it made me feel better to have a plan for the next cycle).  Big Brother is my guilty pleasure too! lol  And I have showtime, so you know what that means..

Everyone have a wonderful week!! 

[boggles]

TaxLady - I am very envious of you spending so much time in France   I LOVE France - especially the baguettes. mmmm.  And how awesome would it be to know you conceived your baby in France (or Holland)   I o'd on a 2 week vacation in Greece a couple of months ago, and was really hoping, but our timing was off (DH said he was too exhausted - I was pretty upset about that one, so he's been making a great effort since).

My screen name is a nickname my Dad used to call me when I was little (and still does occasionally) and my picture is our substitute baby (hopefully just for now!!)

Boots - I'm sorry to hear that you are going through some tough times with DH, I hope things get better soon.

Shellhawk - I always seem to come online just after you post.  If you are just getting up briefly to pee and then going right back to bed, it's possible that it's a combination of pre-seed/semen still coming out the next day (and probably some EWBJ too).  I don't get up to pee so much, but I can go half an hour or longer after getting up in the morning before the previous night's BDing fluids start coming out (sorry, that could be TMI).  One suggestion (according to TCOYF p 88) is that when you get up to pee (after making sure you lay down for at least half an hour post BD if you are TTC) you do Kegel exercises.  That pushes everything excess out (but the sperm should have had enough time to get to the uterus/fallopian tubes) and then there's no confusion.  I do that now (although we usually BD at night and I don't get up to pee until the next morning) and it definitely helps - no squishy surprises at work the next day

AFM - 8 DPO, but I really don't feel anything except normal, so I'm not expecting anything this cycle.  DH went to the acupuncturist/chinese herbalist for the first time today, and I am going tomorrow, so I really hope it helps us.  Does anyone have any success stories from people they know using acupuncture??

[ValH]

Bel - Looks like the OPKs picked up O in a timely manner this time around for you (been chart stalking), so yay for that!!!  OPKs are much more fun to take if you don't have to take like 100 of them to find O.  Looks like the Clomid worked.  We are close to cycle buddies - I'm pretty sure I O'ed yesterday.  Hopefully this will be a successful cycle for both of us. 

Shell - I have a hard time differentiating between EWBJ and leftover BDing deposits.  There's something called a water test... never done it, but I think the EWBJ does not fall apart in water, where as the BDing deposits falls apart.  You might want to research that.  I tend to only check BJ if I haven't BDing in the previous 12 hours.  Also, one way to eliminate the mess is to use the Instead mentrual cups.  I lay on my back for twenty to thirty minutes, and then insert one of the cups.  No mess at all, no leakage.  It won't help with identifying EWBJ, but will lessen any messiness, and hopefully keep all the BDing deposits where they need to be. 

boggles - I don't know anyone that's used acupuncture, but have heard great things about reflexology.  There's actually a reflexologist in town that specializes in maternity, but I haven't been able to convince DH that I should keep trying it (I've had one appointment).  If the accupuncture works for you, I'll definitely have to check that out! 

AFM - CD15.  I THINK I O'ed yesterday, but I'm not 100% sure.  My temp was up by .32 this morning, and it is the highest it's been since AF.  I usually like to see it above 98 before I'm sure I O'ed.  I think it would have been higher if I had done my normal 3am bathroom visit, but I slept like a rock last night and didn't wake at all until it was time to get up.  I plan to keep BDing until my temp gets above 98, though, just to make sure my bases are covered.  I'd love to hear your opinions - do you think I O'ed yesterday?  www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2e5d89

[Bel718]

Shellhawk - It is our safe place!    As far as temping, I guess keep using the temps you are using until your next cycle that what you can tell what your differences are (Pre-O, O, post O).  I am still not one for knowing what everything means with my chart.   As far as the Pre-Seed, that is probably what you are seeing after your overnight session.  Once you are up and your body has a chance to expel it and the day goes on if you wipe and see EWBJ then I would say that would be more accurate.  I could be wrong!  Hope you are feeling better!

Boggles - no acupuncture story here.  My cousin loved it for her migraines.  Hope that it helps you and DH!

ValH - Yay!  Glad you caught your O!  Nice to have a cycle buddy.  It was awesome the OPKs caught my O and it was + for 2 days...I feel a little normal now.  My temp this morning was lower and I think because of our schedule that we probably didn't catch that egg.  There is always next cycle.  FF has my O the same day I had a + OPK. Either way I am glad it looks like I O'd!  (I think I am just trying to set myself up for a BFN so I don't feel so bad.)  I am not a chart whisperer, but taking the middle of your temp increases kinda looks like you did O yesterday.  I'd be curious what your temp is tomorrow.

for both of us (and everyone) this cycle!

[femmeknitzi]

Hello everyone! I'm going to throw myself into the fray here because I'll be turning 30 in one month. DH and I have just decided to TTC#1. We tried last month (12/2010) with no success but it was my first full month off BCP, which I've been taking since I graduated HS. I just started to chart so there's not much to see, but here it is: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/32f141 Right now I'm waiting to O and will use OPKs for the first time tomorrow. Good luck to everyone!

[HDSM]

Hi everyone.  I've been holding my breath since Thanksgiving but today we had our first appointment (9 weeks 5 days) and everything looks perfect!!!  We even saw the little arms flailing around!  I can't tell you the relief - I really think this one is going to stick!!  Sooo, with that said - I can finally be moved to graduates!!!  I will talk to everyone soon, but I have a lot of phone calls to make to spread the good news!!

Baby dust to everyone!!!!  and many many thank yous for all of your support!! 

[Calycanth]

Femmeknitzi - Welcome to the BJC!  I'm also turning 30 next month.  to you!

HDSM - I'm so excited to move you to the graduates list!  Seeing your little one fluttering on that screen must have been amazing.  Here's to a healthy and happy nine months! 

Hykue - Lovely to hear from you!  I was wondering what you've been up to.  I think we're cycle buddies this month - I'm on CD 6 today.  Per your advice, I looked up the antibiotics I'm taking.  The only thing I discovered is that they can interfere with birth control, which is obviously not an issue.   I hope you get your BFP soon.  DH and I are in the same position - he leaves for Alaska again in April, which means another forced hiatus.

Shellhawk - If I get pregnant this month, it's butt shots for everyone.  It's been difficult for DH and I to BD on a schedule, so I feel you on that one.  Neither of us has a particularly voracious sex drive (I used to...where did it go?...I want it back....), so sometimes it's a bit of a chore.  I'm reminded of a poem someone posted a while back - one of the lines was "I remember when we used to do this for fun." 

Bel and Val - I'll be stalking both of you until you test.  Val, I do think you O'd yesterday, but I am by no means a chart whisperer, so take that worth a grain of salt. 

AFM - The antibiotics are kicking in, and I'm starting to feel somewhat human again.  My fever is gone, but I still feel like I have shards of glass embedded in my throat.  It hurts to talk and swallow, so I'm doing a lot of reading (just finished "Freedom" by Jonathan Franzen and started a new biography of Cleopatra) and eating a lot of ice cream.  I'm hoping to be fully recovered before Business Time commences.  Since I usually don't O until CD16 or so, that shouldn't be a problem.

Edited by Calycanth - 1/4/11 at 5:32pm

[Shellhawk]

Hi Girls!! 

I wonder what your thoughts on the following are:  Last May when we first were trying to conceive, one night I put a tampon in after we BD'd trying to keep the swimmers up there.  I just randomly did it when the thought popped into my head.  I ended up being pregnant, but who knows if it was that particular BD session that did it.  When I put the tampon in, I remember thinking that it could help, or it might absorb the guys, but I wanted to try it once.  I'm not going to risk trying it now, but what do you guys think?  Have you ever heard anything about that at all (or am I just a weirdo that thought it up)?!  Well, I know I am a weirdo,  but you know what I mean...  lol

Also, earlier today I caught a program called "70 and Pregnant"!!   It actually gave me hope. lol

Boggles - How funny, we're in sync!!  Also, I've always wanted to go to Greece!  That must have been amazing!!  Thanks, glad to know I'm not the only one with the night before issues masking the EWBJ!  I did read that page in TCOYF about expelling the leftover BJ, but I'm paranoid that I need every last swimmer in there!  lol  I'm excited to hear more about the acupuncturist/ herbalist!

Also, in Taking Charge of Your Fertility, there are pages on selecting the sex of the baby.  If I followed their advice, I wouldn't BD any more this cycle since I should be Oing tonight (I'll take the test at 6pm.  last cycle my OPK was only positive in evening not in the morning).  But I'm too afraid that its selfish to try for a certain sex after my miscarriage last summer, that I should be happy with whatever sex & should BD tonight if OPK is positive.  We have five little boys under 4 years old in my family right now, so everyone is excited for me to bring on a girl.  So, every Sunday at my Grandma's all the little boys are running around crazy.  Now my cousin's newest addition is the 4 week old boy.  Obviously, I would love whatever sex baby I was blessed with.

Bel - Thanks, girl!  I am learning so much from all of you!I never thought I would be inspecting the toilet paper so much!  lol  TMI     

Val - Thanks, never heard of the water test, but I may need to try it.  Hopefully my OPK tonight will be positive.  I noticed that your temps have two decimals.  My BD brand basal thermometer only shows 1 decimal.  Should I get another one before next cycle?!  Also, I've noticed that since I've been using the basal thermometer (instead of the Vicks brand) that my chart is sort of flat.  I'm not sure if that is a coincidence with the timing of my cycle temps anyway.

Hykue- Last night, while trying to fall asleep, your story about your "blown out pants" popped into my mind and I started laughing out loud!  I loved your post! Thanks for that!  8- )

Thanks to everyone for sharing!  I love it!       

[Shellhawk]

Caly -  I know, I kind of have a weird feeling the shot might somehow help with your golden ticket this month!! 

         I also agree with the sex drive, I think our brains are so tuned into our bodies for reproductive reasons that our brains maybe sort of block the sensual feelings (that's how I rationalize it)!

         Also, according to the book TCOYF, saliva can kill the sperm, so that's a whole other issue.....

Here's to all of our BFP's!!!!!  

[lustrae]

Hi there!  I'd love to join.  I'm 33 and have been TTC since August 2009.  Click here for this cycle's chart.

My hopes are to have 3 children.  Everyone says I'm still young, but I don't want to be an old mother.  We've been through all the testing and the only thing that stuck out was a marginally low morphology on my DH's SA.  We've gone through 3 IUI's; 2 medicated with Femara.  IVF sounds great, but we can't afford it.  ***Oh!!! If anyone is interested in IVF, there is a clinic in NYC that is doing IVF for free if you qualify.  You only have to pay for initial testing.  We live on the west coast, and if I didn't have a job... Anyway, let me know if you are interested and I can send you the info.***  Back to me, I'm starting to become frustrated and a little depressed.  Support from women going through the same thing sounds like it might help.        

So, I've been wondering something if anyone would like to comment.  What does it mean to "stop trying"?  Seriously... does that mean to stop temping, stop doing OPKs, stop the planned BDing every other night?  Does anyone know of anyone who "stopped trying" and were successful?  It seems to work for some people.   

[Calycanth]

Shellhawk - Never heard of anyone using a tampon, but some people do use a Diva Cup in hopes of keeping the swimmers in there.   Not sure whether it does any good or not... Also, I've been temping with a BD thermometer that only goes to one decimal place and haven't had any problems detecting O.

[Calycanth]

Welcome, Lustrae!   Looking forward to getting to know you!

[ValH]

Bel - Don't count yourself out before the 2WW even gets started!  You did BD with the positive OPKs, right?  All you need is one well-timed BD and one great swimmer to get that BFP.  I really hope the Clomid does the trick for you this cycle. 

femmeknitzi - WELCOME to the group!!   

HDSM - Yay for the fantastic ultrasound and appointment!!  I'm glad to hear everything is going well for you.  Please continue to keep us posted. 

Calycanth - I'm glad you are feeling better!  Enjoy all your time reading.  I've heard about the new Cleopatra biography (heard the author on the radio talking about it), and it sound very interesting.  Since DH is from Egypt, it gave me a little extra interest in it.  It's definitely on my "to read" list.  You'll have to let me know if it's any good. 

Shell - I thought all basal body thermometers went to 2 decimal points... I thought that's what made them BBT.  Huh.  From what I've read online, it is best to have a 2 decimal point thermometer.  I picked mine up at the local pharmacy - it was in the same section as HPTs and OPKs.  As for the tampon thing, I personally would be worried about it absorbing all of the important fluids.  However, as I mentioned earlier, I have a friend that swears the Instead cup (similar to the Diva cup Calycanth mentioned) helped her get pregnant.  Same concept about holding all the swimmers where they need to be. 

Lustrae - Welcome to the group!!  I hope you find the support that you need here. 

AFM - FF gave me crosshairs today!  It put my O at CD13... I still think CD14, but about 2am on CD14 (based on pain).  I guess that's close enough to CD13 that the difference doesn't matter.  My temp did get above 98 today, so I'm happy.  I didn't get in my one last BD session, though... by the time DH got home, I had a low-grade fever and sore throat.  The fever broke last night, but my throat is killing me today.  Well, at least it's post-O, so it won't interfere with any BDing. 

[Bel718]

Welcome femmeknitzi!  Hope your stay is short as well!

HDSM!

Calycanth - glad you are getting some relief.  Sometimes it can take some time... awful waiting for it.  Glad you are enjoying some good books!  Oh...I think I left my sex drive in my early 20s.  I want it back!  Apparently women hit their peak in 30s?  Still waiting...

Shellhawk - I would think tampons would soak up fluid the boys need.  There are the Diva cups (which I think I am going to invest in!) that I've read a lot of women use to keep the swimmers close to the cervix.

Welcome lustrae!    This road can be tough and I love being able to share it with women that understand.  Hope your stay is short as well.  I think thats what it means...just reverting back to not making every BD session about getting a BFP.  I keep hearing that - "If you stop trying so hard it will happen.."  Kinda hard for me to think that way.  I was out with my sisters friend who had her toddler with her - she conceived with a donor egg.  Now she is pregnant with her own...?  I just want to be aware of every opportunity I have so OPKs and temping is on the book s for me.

ValH - thanks!  I was in a serious funk yesterday.  DH noticed and we had a nice evening of getting to bed early and some Scrabble.  All better.   for us this cycle.  We did manage to BD when OPKs were +, but I couldn't sit and elevate for 15 minutes.  I hope a swimmer made it.  I hope your throat feels better!  Yay for the 2WW!

[femmeknitzi]

Thank you all for the great welcome. Its great to have a place to discuss the minutiae of this process because I can already tell that DH no longer cares what my BBT is or what my CF looks like today and I've only been doing this for a month. He just cares whether or not he's gettin' any. :)

Caly--glad you're feeling better and happy early birthday to you! Let me know how the Cleopatra biography is; I've really been wanting to read it!

Lustrae--I'm new to this whole thing myself so I can't offer much advice except to make sure that you're taking care of yourself, emotionally. I've been really surprised at the ups and downs I've had only in the last month or two. That's great though that there's a clinic that helps with the costs of IVF! Sending lots of luck your way! :)

AFM, I got a negative OPK this morning but its only CD11. This was the first time I've POAS of any kind and it kind of flipped me out emotionally, just because it felt like the same process as a pregnancy test. Gave me butterflies. Weird, I know. Should I test again this evening or just wait until tomorrow?

[ValH]

Bel - Glad you are feeling better, and that your DH helped alleviate the "funk."  As for elevating, I think those swimmers can find where they need to be without elevating.  I wonder sometimes if it even does really help, but I keep doing it, just in case.  From now on when you can't elevate, maybe try the Diva or Instead cups... that would at least keep everything up close to the cervix. 

femmeknitzi - As for the OPKs, if I'm using the cheaper OPKs (i.e. non-smiley OPKs) I will take them twice a day right when I think I'm going to O (around CD13-15).  CD11 seems a little early, unless you O early.  I would probably hold off on the twice a day testing for a day or two, but that's just because I know when I O.  I hope you catch the positive OPK! 

AFM - Throat still killing me, feeling like crap.  I'm hoping being sick doesn't hurt any implantation chances. 

[femmeknitzi]

Val--Thanks! I don't know for sure yet when I O but so far I've hit every cycle average on the nose so I'm going to take your advice and wait until tomorrow. Thanks!

[Hykue]

femmeknitzi: Welcome! Good to see new faces here, and I hope you won't be here long enough for anyone to think of you as anything other than that!

HDSM: Oh, what a relief that must be! I'm so very pleased for you. All the best for the next 7-or-so months, and for the many years to come beyond that!

Calycanth: Cycle buddies sounds good (close enough for jazz, as my DH would say). I'm CD9 today, and I usually O on about CD14, so I think we should O around the same time. Yeah, the deadline thing is little hard. We're not the first, and we won't be the last that have to deal with it. If it makes you feel any better, I was conceived on the first try (my older sister took nine months, though) when my dad was about to leave for work - they only got one chance, and it worked. We both still have a few months to get there, so I think our chances are pretty good. As far as the sex drive thing, I think mine HAS gotten a lot higher, but it's more inconsistent. The forced hiatus seems to help with that - when I get to see my hubby I can't wait to jump his bones. It works out well, because he's in the same boat. He has always had a higher sex drive than me, so I think if anything, he's grateful that we're TTC. My doctor told me when I had my pre-surgical-to-get-my-IUD-out appointment (not a normal part of IUD use, and I didn't have to get cut or anything, just put to sleep, and it went fine) that the woman enjoying it is a big part of conceiving - apparently O is triggered by romantic gestures and the contractions-that-move-the-baby-batter-upwards (they have a name, but I can't remember it) are triggered by a good strong "O" (in the non-ovulation sense). So the first month I had my IUD out I enjoyed the sex less than usual, because I was thinking about trying to have a baby, and whether our position was optimal, and how soon I might O, and ALSO about how I had to enjoy it if I wanted to get preggers. I got much better after my chemical, actually. It might happen any month, it might not, we might as well enjoy it. Especially since when we are successful, we'll have much less time to enjoy that particular aspect of our relationship. (Not that I'm completely stress-free about it . . . I had to consciously decide to use the word "when" instead of "if" in that last sentence.) I'm glad you're feeling so much better, and I'm sure you'll continue on that trajectory! Also, I love that you called it "Business Time" with capitals, a-la Flight of the Concords. Thanks for making me smile!

Shellhawk: I second (or third or whatever) the others' comments about using a cup instead. I use a keeper (just like a diva cup, except made from rubber instead of silicone) for my menstruation, and I love it for that. I don't know if it would help with getting pg (I think it would only keep the baby batter in your vagina, and not make any difference to how much made it to your fallopian tubes), but it certainly couldn't hurt. It would irk me personally to have to be sticking something inside me right after sex, but that's just me. I've been wondering myself about the selecting the sex of the baby thing . . . I'm not really trying for any particular sex, but if I were, would I be willing to take my chances with not getting pg just to do it? I have had a feeling for years that I would have a boy first, but that's probably just my desire to be different talking - my family has tended towards girls. I guess we'll see! Anyway, I don't think it's more or less selfish to try for a particular sex. You're the main person it affects whether you get pg or not in a particular cycle, and you're the one who is deciding whether to try for a particular sex or not. It doesn't seem like it should much affect your chances of getting pg anyway, they call them the "most fertile" three days for a reason, which is that you're pretty close to equally fertile on all three days before O. On the topic of basal thermometers, I also have a BD brand (although mine wasn't called a basal thermometer), only one decimal place, and I still don't have any trouble finding my temp shift. If my sleep schedule were more regular, now that would help. And I'm glad my pants story could make you laugh. Good grief, I knew I was oblivious about clothes, but that's just ridiculous!

Lustrae: Welcome! It sounds like you've had a tough journey so far. I'm certainly not (AT ALL) trying to chase you out of this thread, and I would love it if you stuck around here, but you might want to also look at the Bitter Sushi Ladies thread. Depending on your level of frustration and depression about this, you might find that they are a better group for support. I only say this because (while lurking there) I have realized how hard it must be for them when people in other threads seem to get pregnant so easily. On the other hand, it might be encouraging to see others get pregnant! Regardless, you're more than welcome here. I think the "stopping trying" usually means that the people just plain give up. The way my doctor explained it (at that same appointment I mentioned earlier in this post) is that some people get so focused and stressed about TTC that they seem to keep it from happening with their stress levels. When they give up, they let go of that result, and their body can finally relax, and they end up pregnant. I don't know if it's that common, but he did mention it to me. I used to have a boss at work who insisted that this was how to get anything you wanted. Just give the f*** up. (He was a pretty cynical guy, though). He insisted that it was a kind of buddhism - let go of the outcome, and you'll get it. Sounds like a paradox, to me, but I can see how it's at least possible in the context of asking our body to do something . . . I do know one couple that this happened to. They tried for many years to get pg, finally got approved for adoption when their first daughter was 10 or so, adopted, and got pregnant within a couple of months (they only were trying for two kids, so they had given up completely at that point). I think to the extent that this happens, it could be because we're finally just letting our bodies do what they know how to do, and not trying to MAKE them do it. For hundreds of thousands of years, we didn't get pregnant by taking OPKs and timing our BDs and tracking our temperature changes. We got pregnant by having a sex drive and using it . . . but I don't imagine that helps when you actually want to get pregnant and it's not happening. Anyway, welcome, and I hope it happens for you soon, whether through a change in luck or through a successful intervention.

Val: Thank you for the constant reminders that it only takes one swimmer! That really does help put it into perspective. I don't know if you feel like sharing, but I have to admit I've been curious for a while: How did you and your husband meet? Are there cultural differences in addition to the personal differences in any relationship, or are they not noticeable? Regarding basal thermometers, they didn't have any here (it's a very small town), so I just got a regular thermometer, and I think it works fine, but if they had had a true BBT I would have gotten one. I think unless the temp shift is really small, it seems like any (accurate) thermometer should work. I meant to post earlier (and forgot) that I have had really, truly painful O cramps before. One time I actually fell to the floor at work, it hurt so badly. I have always chosen to assume that these indicate a strong, healthy, vigorous reproductive tract and ovulation. I think it means that my girls are taking their job seriously. I hope that's true, and that your DH's boys also were taking their job seriously this month, and that it all turns into a sweet, squalling little baby in around 9 months. Sorry you're feeling under the weather, but at least the timing isn't awful.

Bel: I know what you mean about wanting to be aware of every opportunity, and I do the same thing. Sometimes I wonder if we might be more successful if we didn't know so much - if we didn't even know what made babies! Seems to work for so many people. I'm sorry you were in a funk, but I'm glad your DH helped you out of it. I wouldn't worry too much about not being able to elevate after your well-timed BD. Just think, if you were trying to avoid, you wouldn't be thinking "Well, at least I didn't elevate my hips afterwards . . ." right? I don't think that would reduce your chances much at all.

AFM: Whew, it's probably a good thing I don't post every day, or you ladies would all leave the thread because there would be so much to read! I'm trying to de-stress after my MIL's visit for the holidays. It's not her fault, she's great, but I am still learning to deal with others' expectations, and the fact that I can't (and don't want to) meet them. And I feel bad because my SIL (and very good friend for 14 years, only 10 of which I've been with my DH) always tries to be the voice of reason and the support for both me and my MIL. I don't want to be a source of stress for her, but I need the insight that she gives. Anyway, I'm getting better all the time, and I'm recognizing more and more that she does have the right to expect things of us (more so than most, because she's part owner of our property and helps us pay for improvements) but I also have the right to do what I think is important, or right, or good, or even just fun. My dad is dealing with his depression, finally, at age 70, and I'm proud of him and inspired to try to do the same (BEFORE I have kids who learn my bad, depressed habits). I think learning how to deal with my MIL is a good step on that journey, because she is great at triggering all my worst anger/depression/inadequacy issues. And that's the pollyanna attitude that my mom's side taught me . . . (gross and painful story ahead, fair warning) . . . my uncle once got his foot and lower leg totally mangled by a rototiller he was working on, and one of the first things he said when he woke up in the hospital was "at least I hadn't just cleaned my boots like I had planned to". Anyway, yay for difficult times, because they make us stronger. A bit of a ramble, but that's sort of how I'm feeling. Hugs to everyone, because it's hard to get stronger in the difficult times without some support. And for some of us, TTC is definitely the difficult times.

[ValH]

Hykue - That made me laugh about my girls taking their job seriously!  Let's hope they really did this month... it sure hurt like they did!  And to answer your question (I don't mind sharing at all), DH and I met through a friend... my friend's husband works with my DH, and they decided we should meet.  As for the cultural differences, I think it made a big difference that DH is in the small minority (10%ish) of Egyptians that are Christian, so that alleviated a lot of the potential cultural issues.  Plus, he'd lived here since he was 17, so he was pretty well aclamated to the culture.  The one thing I do notice sometimes is language, but that's more my culture than his... I'm from a small, rural, country town, so ocassionally I'll say something and he just looks at me like I have three heads.  It still happens after nearly four years.  Anyway, moving on... I think it's great that you've decided to deal with your depression issues.  As we've always said in this thread previously, healthy boundaries are a great thing! 

AFM - Totally un-TTC related... my sister just came by to visit with her baby (2 months old).  She was in town because he had to visit the neurologist.  There's a delay in muscle development on one side.  They don't know anything yet, and more testing will have to be done (MRI, DNA testing).  But, cerebral palsy is one possible diagnosis, and I noticed he does hold his hand just like one of my friends that has CP.  There are other genetic, chromosmal possibilities, too.  I'm so scared for the little guy!  And I feel so bad for my sister... she had a terrible pregnancy, a very painful birth (the epidural didn't work, and he weighed over ten pounds), and now this.  Not to mention, her husband got laid off right after they found out she was pregnant, and he still hasn't been able to find work.  Ugh, when it rains, it pours, right?  Sometimes life just isn't fair... but like Hykue said, yay for difficult times, because it makes us stronger.  And my sister is one of the strongest people I know.  Okay, that's all my rambling for now.  Just had to vent a little.  Thanks for listening! 

[boggles]

Val - I will think positive thoughts for your sister and her family.  That's a big thing to have to deal with.  I guess I'm so focused on TTC right now, I haven't even thought that far ahead, but probably best not to.

I checked out your chart, and I would say you o'd on Day 14 too, but who am I to argue with the FF gods! 

Femmeknitzi - Welcome!  I use the internet OPKs and kept missing my +ve because I would give up too soon.  To really figure it out I tested twice a day (once around noon (kind of tricky at work, but I managed!) and once around 5pm) and discovered that I typically get a +ve around 5pm on the day of ovulation.  My O days are fairly consistent, so now I just test once a day from Day 10 on.  It used kind of a lot of tests that one week, but it was worth it for me to finally figure it out.

Lustrae - welcome.  I am 33 too, and my 'plan' was to be pregnant at 32, which clearly didn't work out, so I know the frustrated feeling.  My DH has a lowish morphology too.  We have just started acupuncture, which I'm excited about, but it takes a few months to work (and is not cheap), so I'm really hoping it works for us.  I was talking to my friend the other week (she know we're TTC) and she and her husband tried for 15 months and then stopped trying and conceived their DS after 18 months (so 3 months later), so I guess it can work.  She said when they 'stopped trying' they didn't chart or pay much attention and just had sex when they felt like it.  Their son is 2 now - and super cute.

Hykue - you are really funny!!  Usually there is something in each of your posts that makes me giggle - I like it!

Val - just reading about your DH being Egyptian.  I am from New Zealand originally (liked the Flight of the Conchords reference above) and I still occasionally say things that get greeted with blank looks over here (USA).  DH is pretty good with it now, but I can still say things he doesn't understand.