my 3 year old is driving me to drink (more coffee)

[mommariffic]

My 3 year old is being close to unbearable 

I love her to death; she's bright, creative, funky, inquisitive and all the stuff kids are made of but lately I'm loosing my temper 3-500x a day, and that's not like me. I can blame some of it on being sick for a week & sleep deprivation from being up with equally sick DS but even when I'm not in this state she's hard to handle. 

The first thing (and most important) is the demands. I give her brother a bottle or two a day and she's become obsessed with them -- she acts for her own bottle 2-4x an hour. If she's not asking for that she's asking for a "treat.." which could be anything from a cup of raw milk (her idea of a treat) or chocolate (we limit everything here..) and I have to continuously say no. When I get tired of saying no I'm putting different spins on it and it's just really...ANNOYING! If she's not asking for those she's hungry, but not for the 498 suggestions (finally I go don't eat!) or she's asking to do something she will abandon in ten seconds. It's constant. And if we sit down to do glitter glue etc she's like "this is boring.." Where the heck did she get that concept from? The thing is she seems just so restless and bored. Wandering around and the likes -- we do stay home a lot but we have a rhythm for our day that includes many things, and when we do go out it's special/fun places. We also have play dates and during them she's like "I just want to watch TV.." which we again, limit to ONE show a day now. At night normally during dinner/cranky time. 

What can I do to lessen these behaviors? Is this normal 3 year old crap?  

[mothermetta]

I'm hoping some wise mamas can post replies to this thread.  I have a 3 yr old DS who is so similar to your DD, and it's driving me insane!  I want to be able to cherish every age and stage, but I really need a break from this one.  I'm not sure if it's normal or not, I actually came to this forum to get some insight about it, because I really need reassurance that it's either normal and something he'll outgrow or something that I need to start doing something proactive about now.  Good luck!  :)

[queendom lady]

Going through exactly that right now! I hate having to say no and please stop, stop, don't do that, quit it! five billion times a day. There's constant tantrums and name calling from who knows where! and sarcasm?! and then the dangerous stuff like putting things in her baby brother's reach and mouth! I remember seeing my nephew go through this exact phase at 3 1/2 last year when my DD was 2 1/2 and thinking thank god she's not like that. His poor mother! Well now it's here. The only thing I can think to do is this.. step back and say I need 2 minutes even if it's in the same room (which I'm not getting since this is taking me 20) and say over and over this is just a phase. This is only a phase and it will be over soon! Actually it's very close to my birthing mantra "this is temporary, this will not last forever".  Good luck to all of you! Would love to hear what the been there, lived through that mamas have to say....

[Peony]

It is so 3 year behavior, eventually they move on, to another phase. 

[DidiToo]

When my now-six-year old was three and his brother was an infant, I had a mantra:  "This is the last time you will have a three year old and a baby."  I repeated it, over and over, to remind myself that this stage would pass.  (We're done at two kids unless there is a divine oops, so I could say this to myself.)

Have you tried a timer?  Tell your three year old that she needs to do her own thing until the timer rings.  Give her paper, drawing materials to start out with.  If she complains that she doesn't want to do that, then tell her she can do her own thing, but she needs to find her own thing to do until the timer rings or she will have to spend her timer-time in her room. 

Start with a short period of time - a couple of minutes.  Praise her for being a big girl.  You can make the intervals longer when she is able to play on her own more.  When her alone-time period is over, share a game of Memory or Candyland or something else she likes as a treat.

Good luck, and if all else fails, go back to the mantra. 

[mommatooth]

Oh Oooh!  this is about MY kid!  well we are going through this and I am not an organized person- just moved across the country and trying to get it together in a 120 year old house, and if she starts in with this- my whole day is GONE...anyway my resolution was a daily plan board- I guess you would call it.  I cut up a bunch of cards from 5 or so different colored cardstock (so there is a color code) and wrote one word descriptions of the things we do (the routine things) and drew a little pic...ok so after breakfast we each get to pick cards from our color stack and then we pick from the housekeeping stack and exercise or errands or friends etc... so now we have all these little cards that I tack up on a bulletin board (she knows what they all are- she helped me make them and can recognize the pictures) and as we get them done we put them in an envelope - so as we go through the day I can say- "looks like mommy has to do the dishes now, what will you do"  and usually she picks one of hers and we go be productive. And YES I have a few cards for me (and her) that are just what I want like "quiet ten" you guessed, ten minutes of quiet. Or "fix" yep I get time to fix something.  It isn't perfect, and requires a HUGE amount of front loading, but when I pull out the nap card, it's all worth it. :)

 At the end of the day we decide what to do if there are any cards left and we talk about all the things we experienced.  I don't plan on doing this forever, and if I didn't have a three year old, and you threw this by me I would shudder- but having her pick her own activities (from a list I created) has really helped her need me to entertain a lot less.

[onyxravnos]

ugh... sorry i got nothing for you other then to say... I'm glad it's not just me and my three year old!