Military Moms: Jan/Feb 2011 - Page 2

[~Katie~]

Maybe somebody here can help me with this tax issue. 

This year I originally thought we would receive the other half of DH's $10,000 enlistment bonus from the national guard. The first payment took place in August 2008. He didn't keep track of things as well as he should have and we determined that the entire bonus was paid in 2008 and was taxed 40%. I decided to check his w-2 and our tax return and see if the bonus had been included in his base pay and it wasn't, nor were the taxes included as they should have been.

That leads me to believe that there must be another w-2 floating around somewhere. He was paid by the national guard from January 2008-August 2008 when he went active duty, so would they have filed a separate w-2 for the two different periods? This is frustrating me to no end so any help would be appreciated. 

[chely7425]

That is very odd... We have been getting bits of DH's bonus for a few years (10K in 2008, 6K the past 2 summers) and it is taxed at 25% and all included on our W2. Is there anyway for him to get ahold of an LES from the month you got the bonus?

[~Katie~]

I've tried and nothing from 2008 is available online. I know it's somewhere because they have to hold onto it for record keeping. His pay has been a NIGHTMARE over the last three years, this really isn't any different. He's going to work today since he's been off because of snow the last two days and is going to track down where all the paperwork is. 

Originally, 50% of the bonus was to be paid at the completion of OBC and the second half after serving 3 years (December 10). According to the paperwork we received from the NYARNG incentives manager, he was paid the full amount as of 9/22/08 and they took just over 40% out for taxes. Since I can't see any of the LES statements, I checked his w-2 and there's no discrepancy in pay to include the additional income or taxes. There was a huge deal for a while about who was actually responsible for paying him and I'm wondering if this got mixed into all the confusion. The only thing I can think is that they filed two separate w-2's, one for Jan-Aug 08 and one for Aug-Dec 08 and the Aug-Dec 08 one will reflect the bonus. If that's so I need to amend our 2008 return to include the extra w-2 so hopefully he can track that down today. 

[chely7425]

I hate dealing with military pay... we have been lucky to not have any major issues but even small things turn into a huge deal with them!  Hope he can get it all sorted out easily :)

[justKate]

Ugh, Katie, yuck.  Seems like the little things always turn into nightmares.  I hope he finds the w-2.

I'm still anxiously awaiting our orders.  We're expecting that he'll report to the next job at the end of May, which gives us a little more than four months to get things figured out, including renting our house here in TX.  It would be nice if they would give us more notice!  On the bright side, I'll officially be a SAHM in four months.  I'm nervous about that, but also really excited. Where we end up will play a role in how long I can SAH, and whether I can convince Huz that it's time to TTC.  This next assignment will be four years, which is going to bring new experiences for us.  DD was 6 mos. when we last moved, but (theoretically) she'll be starting school at the next assignment.  She'll only be 2.5 when we move, so I doubt she'll remember it, but I wonder how the moving is going to impact her.  Have you all done anything specific to prepare little ones for moves?

[Soul-O]

Hi Mamas:

Sorry I've been MIA for awhile.  We're busy getting ready to move into a much larger home off post (in Dupont, a nice community that is a very short distance from the post) and I've been nursing both a bad cold and a badly broken toe that will require surgery soon, so life is a bit more hectic than I'd like it to be!  DH recently moved to a new unit, and I'm feeling a bit out of sorts because I don't know any of the new people, and it's Infantry as opposed to MI (which is our norm).but it's a prestigious job, and DH is excited to be there.  Having 5 boys to care for has been an adventure as well!  Anyhow, looks like everyone has been busy around these parts.

Adorkable: Congrats, congrats, congrats!  I remember sharing stories with you about the Infertility clinic at Madigan with you just about a year ago.  I'm so happy that your beautiful babies have arrived.  Enjoy those little blessings :).

Sapphire: As far as formal attire is concerned, I usually go with something black that has bling-y type accents.  I was 35 weeks pregnant at my last formal, so it was a bit difficult to find a great dress for that one, but I've found that stores like JCPenney and Macy's typically have nice dresses on sale this time of year.  Have fun getting dressed up!

Katie: Wish I could help you with the W-2 issue.  I think you are on the right track with your research.  Let us know how it goes.  I noticed that DH's pay was a little lower than expected today and think there's an allotment issue, but won't be able to work it out until the full LES comes out for January at the end of the month - ugh!  It would be nice to have better access to financial tools, wouldn't it!

MK: Congrats on the pregnancy!  Closely spaced kiddos can be a lot of fun :).  My DS3 and DS4 are 20 months apart.  While it was very tough initially (especially because DH was gone for the first four months after DS4 was born), they are good friends and playmates now.  I had DS4 while at Ft. Gordon, and wouldn't recommend using on post facilities.  There is no OB unit at Eisenhower, so you see family practice MDs for prenatal care, then are referred out to MCG hospital in Augusta to deliver.  MCG is, ahem, not exactly a baby-friendly facility.  PM me if you want details.

Welcome RaeRae!  I'm also at Fort Lewis.  My DH is in the 3/2 Stryker BCT.  We are a blended family as well.  I would suggest holding off on any custody/adoption changes until you are married. 

Sorry if I missed anyone.  Off to change a diaper and get some breakfast for my DH.  Hope all of you have a great day!

[chely7425]

JustKate... we have moved a couple times with little ones (once when DS1 was 4 months, and again when he was 2.5) and we never did much to prepared them for it.  We talked about it a little, like how we were going to go on a long drive to live in a new place.. but all he really got from that is that we were going "on da biiiiig road with da tucks!!" so yeah :)  We are moving again in June and he will be a little over 3, DS2 will have be newly 2, and DS3 will be 8 months... that should be an interesting move...

[geekgolightly]

Hi everyone!

I might become an army wife and know *nothing* about military life.

My DH is graduating this year from pharmacy school and we are speaking with a medical recruiter on Wednesday next week. I am nervous about this big huge change. I have tried to research what we might face and all I know right now is that we would sign for four years, in order to get the max amt of the school loan repayment program offered. (We will have 150k of school debt when all is said and done!) I know that he will be deployed and could be as long as a year. Other than that, I know very little. I am getting used to the idea that we will be separated, but that is really hard to wrap my head around. I will be where ever he is stationed, alone, with no family or friends around. I know that there are probably a lot of spouses who live the same way and I have questions that I hope you ladies don't mind me asking.

What sort of support is offered to wives of deployed servicemen?

Is there anyone here who lives on the army base as opposed to taking the housing allowance? Pros and cons?

What is it like being married to a serviceman? Is it really all the different from civilian life?

Is there a good forum for wives of soldiers?

How many crunchy people do you know in military?

I will also read past the military mom threads from mothering. I am glad there is a tribe like this here at mothering!

Thanks ladies.

[~Katie~]

What sort of support is offered to wives of deployed servicemen?

I don't know a whole lot about other branches but I'm sure we all have something similar. In the Army we have FRG groups, some are better than others but they basically exist to provide support and activities and updates/information about the deployed unit. Free child care is usually offered once a month here as well. There are typically all kinds of activities going on, both for adults and children. 

Is there anyone here who lives on the army base as opposed to taking the housing allowance? Pros and cons?

I've done both and honestly one of my favorite things about living in military housing is the sense of community and always having someone nearby who can really relate to the lifestyle. Unfortunately family and civilian friends just tend to not get it as well. I've been able to make some really close friends and it's great having people to rely on. If the on-post housing is crummy then living off post is a better option sometimes, depending on what your BAH is. If you can find decent housing for under your BAH you can actually make money. 

What is it like being married to a serviceman? Is it really all the different from civilian life?

It's different. Most civilians won't have to miss birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, funerals, etc. They won't have to miss major milestones or births of their children. There are pros and cons to everything, but those types of things have been hardest for me emotionally. It requires much more sacrifice of things that tend to be taken for granted a lot of the time. Self reliance and Independence are things military wives have in common for sure. In my marriage I think it's been a lesson in learning about our individual strengths and learning to value the small things and being a lot more easy going with each other. 

Is there a good forum for wives of soldiers?

I'd say this one is pretty excellent 

How many crunchy people do you know in military?

The nice thing about military life is that you'll find people from all over the spectrum. One benefit of being on MDC is that you can go to the tribe where you're stationed and find playgroups and different activities in order to meet people. It's made it a lot more easier for me to find friends in my area that way. I've also gotten pretty lucky and have homeschooler's, breastfeeding mama's, and co-sleepers all on my street. 

[Sarah W]

Originally Posted by Soul-O 

Hi Mamas:

Sorry I've been MIA for awhile.  We're busy getting ready to move into a much larger home off post (in Dupont, a nice community that is a very short distance from the post) and I've been nursing both a bad cold and a badly broken toe that will require surgery soon, so life is a bit more hectic than I'd like it to be!  DH recently moved to a new unit, and I'm feeling a bit out of sorts because I don't know any of the new people, and it's Infantry as opposed to MI (which is our norm).but it's a prestigious job, and DH is excited to be there.  Having 5 boys to care for has been an adventure as well!  Anyhow, looks like everyone has been busy around these parts.

We live in Dupont! I love it!

[Sarah W]

Not too much going on with us. Work has been busy, my unit officially announced that they are deploying next year and we're doing  everything that goes along with getting a unit ready for deployment. Thank goodness my family isn't close enough to hear that news. I won't be going because I'm pg and have 6 months pp that I'm non deployable, but my family will be worried and upset and I don't have the energy to deal with that right now.

We're about 3/5 of the way through DH's deployment. I'm glad it's going by quickly. (somewhat)

That is about all we have going on.

I love all of the ball pics. Here are a couple of OLD ball pics. I'm not even sure when they're from, but I've been an E-7 for over 5 years, so longer than that.

[~Katie~]

I'm glad to hear that the deployment is going by quickly, Sarah! How is your pregnancy going?

Not much new to report here, either. DH is working today and worked all weekend, he'll be off this Friday and Monday to make up for it. He goes to the career counselor early next month and we will hopefully get this ball rolling. I think about all the stuff we have to do between now and August and I just end up getting overwhelmed. I'm currently 16 weeks and the pregnancy is going well, my three year old is really into learning about pregnancy and asked the funniest questions so I'm really loving this age for having another baby. 

[Sarah W]

Wow, you are already 16 weeks! It goes by so fast! I wish Addison was a bit older so she could understand the whole pregnancy thing.

The pregnancy is going by quickly! I'll be 26 weeks tomorrow. It's another GIRL, so we're both pretty excited.  It's been super easy, much the same as last time. I feel pretty good, I should be working out more.  That's about it.

[~Katie~]

Congratulations on a new little girl! 

After your first they seem to just go by faster and faster, I think because we have an older child keeping us busy. It feels like it's going by lightening fast this time, I know toward the end it'll slow down when I start getting impatient 

[~Adorkable~]

Ok had to come here to have my little freak out

My twins are 3 weeks old and yesterday, on my 5th anniversary my dh got some funky orders pulling him from the hospital clinic and sending him to Afghanistan! Taking him for training in 30 days no less.
Now folks are scrambling to see if they can swap someone else in the spot that.... let me see here.... DOESNT HAVE 3WEEK OLD TWINS!!

So we sit here and wait, he is at work and I might add freaking out like I have never seen him do, i feel so bad that he has this on his shoulders.
To make matters worse, if you remember we just in Sept moved 3000 miles away from all our family, friends and pretty much any support system that I may of had. Spending tons of money and nearly half my pregnancy to get us settled in DC, it was worth going thru it all right in the middle of my pregnancy because he was getting a really good job and was in a slot that would not be deploying. Now they are saying he is yanked from that spot, less than 3 months after we finally found a place to live and are working on making a life for us here.
He'll part of why we took the orders this last summer is because his old unit, which he really liked, was deploying in Feb. At least if we had stayed there we would not have blown all our savings and my one and only pregnancy on this PCS crap.

Now on one side I just need to calm down and trust that now that his Comand is on the same page with us and working on moving things around, that it will work out and in a few days I will be back here telling you ladies that all is clear and he is staying to see his kids take their first steps and learn to say "dada"
but the other side of me is freaking the #£%* out and cantveven begin to think about how the helll I'm going to do this, where the hell I'm going to live and ten thousand other logistical issues that is all screwing me over.

I felt so bad for him, I could tell something awlful was or had happened the moment I saw him come in from work. He ask not to talk about it at that time and we went forward with plans to rush out and grab a super fast little dinner for our anniversary, my mom was awesome and watched the babies for two hours. Boy it was hard to leave them, but we so needed something for us as partners, as lovers. as we drove home he got a call and I could see his whole body tense up as he just answered a ton of yes/no questions and seemed so strained and business like, not his usual tone. He finally told me as we sat in the driveway, he had wanted to fix it and for me to have never known till it was over if even then.

I had to tell him over and over, we are a military family, we get thru all of this together, there is no other way.

[~Katie~]

Oh goodness Adorkable I'm so sorry you're in this position. I'm crossing my fingers that his command is reasonable and has enough common sense to work everything out for you, I couldn't imagine forcing him to leave in this situation. I will be thinking of you, mama 

[justKate]

Adorkable, there has to be a way for someone to intervene. I'll keep you in my thoughts and you keep us posted.

[~Adorkable~]

Thanks ladies, calmer now that I got to vent, thanks.

In any other situation we would look at it as the path to a first home downpayment. We all know this is what the job is sometimes, it's just so hard when it feels like it's alway screwing my plans, I've just given up so much for the army, I don't have much left to hold onto.

[~Adorkable~]

Ok so the folks in power here have rallied pretty well for us and it is looking good that dh will not be going, his clinic is expecting a new lady next month and she was notified and asked if she may want to go directly on this mission instead of him, she said yes and is working to come off of her pcs leave early to make the cut off. We have been told to make sure we are ready in case something falls thru with her, but the sgt major is personally walking her paperwork thru to make sure it gets done as fast and correctly as possible.

On a lighter note, his clinic thru me and one other still preggo soldier there, a mini baby shower at lunch today, very sweet. You could so tell who just liked to shop and who was the one other person there with twins, the former got us cute outfits that who knows if they will be the right size come summer ( they are summer clothes totally) the later got us two HUGE cases of diapers, in the next two sizes we will need. Now that's useful!

[~Katie~]

That's a big relief! And how wonderful of them to throw you a baby shower!