Does holding a newborn for naps create a needy sleeper?

[YayJennie]

I've been told that holding my newborn for naps will make her need to be held for naps later on and that I should "get her used to" sleeping in a crib or bed so I don't have to worry about it later on.  What's your personal opinion on this?

I am kind of concerned, because my first son needed to be held for every.single.nap from 4 months-11 months old.  He did grow out of it, and, as long as I held him, he napped wonderfully and was always a happy, well rested baby.  And now he's a wonderful sleeper as a toddler.  But I worry that I won't have time to hold my daughter for naps like I did with my son, and that she won't be so happy and well rested if she depends on me holding her to sleep.

So do you think that babies that need to be held are just like that, no matter what you do, or do you think you can "help" them sleep on their own by putting them down more when they're sleeping when they're newborn?  Right now, my daughter is 5 weeks old, and often sleeps in arms or in the moby, but also takes a 2-3 hour marathon nap almost every afternoon, where she's fine laying in the pack and play.  Should I just keep going with what works now, and not worry?  I try not to let people's comments bug me, but this one gets to me because of how I had to hold my son if I wanted him to nap for so long.

[amyhulen]

I think it depends on the baby. DD1 was a preemie and spent her first 2 months in the NICU, she was a great sleeper in her crib or in my arms.

DD2 was full term and was held CONSTANTLY from birth on, she was a terrible sleeper until the age of 5. We have since figured out that she had an anxiety disorder that she was born with. So from day 1 she had issues with being put down for naps, even a co-sleeper wasn't cutting it when she was little. She was all about the family bed. 

If your DD is taking a power nap every afternoon for 2-3 hours on her own I would just go with the flow. I really don't think you can "spoil" a baby, despite what some people say. Only YOU know whats best for YOUR child. I totally understand how the comments can be a drain, I dealt with them for years. Ughh....

[Knitting Mama]

I honestly do not think that it makes for a more needy sleeper later in life. Some babies require very close contact with mama for years, and I was one of them myself. My mom jokingly called me "the growth on my hip" because I always had to be held. I also slept in my parents' bed until I was 6. Yet I am the most independent of the 3 kids and the only one who happily went off on her own out of the parents' house, and the only one who lived alone for years before getting married. I think my mom doing what I needed to be a happy baby and later a happy child made me a more secure and independent person.

On the other hand, if your daughter does fine taking some naps alone, then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't let her. My own daughter started out needing me for every nap (and I was happy to oblige; I just wore her basically all day every day except when she was nursing or getting a diaper change!) but by about 4 months could take one nap a day alone. We still cosleep (bedshare) every night. Now, at 9 months, she takes both of her naps in the bed and sleeps in my arms at night. It works beautifully for us.

[treegardner]

 

I don't know for sure, but so far this has been true for DS. I always held him for naps and even now he still needs me to nap with him. FWIW, he was poor sleeper all around though and I only started holding him and napping with him because it was/is the only way he would gets any substantial amount of sleep.

[P.J.]

I agree with 'go with the flow', and in your case that could mean encouraging your DD to nap in the crib. The fact that you have another child means it would not be so simple to have your baby on you for every nap, which gives you a reason to help her (by following her lead) to sleep alone for naps. If, on the other hand, she would not sleep alone, that would be another story. But she seems to be fine with it, so I would just go with it and get her taking her naps there rather than on you.

[Abraisme]

Nope, I think it will make the happier, healthy children and adults if you hold them a lot while they are infants.  I held both of my children pretty much non-stop for the first 3 months and then as much as they needed for as long as they needed.  Both of my kids are independant and happy children.  Sleeping alone has way more to do with personality than it does with early infancy sleep training anyway.  Give your baby what he/she needs now, it will be benificial forever.  :)

[sssheri]

Even those most die hard cry it out sleep trainers say not to start until they are out of the newborn phase (over 8 or 12 weeks). I think newborns need the security of being held. If your lo does end up needing to be held for naps, have you considered baby carriers? Our lo naps 50% in the baby carrier and 50% in her swing. She used to only sleep in the carrier or in arms, but as she is getting older she is getting more and more comfortable on her own. 

[rudhaen]

We nap together on the bed sometimes, but most often my baby falls asleep while nursing and then I transfer him to bed/bassinet/comfortable nest on floor and he sleeps just fine there.  If we are out, he sleeps on me in the moby, and he seems to have no trouble going between the two situations.

Sounds like your LO is doing just fine with different sleep situations too!  I know you've had previous experience that makes you wary, but all babies are different, and it does seem like this one is doing fine.

[MamitaM]

I held my baby ALL the time except for when I showered and used the bathroom for pretty much the first month. He's now 3 months and yes, he's still napping in my arms most of the time, but he can easily fall asleep on his own in bed for naps as well. I was also a little worried that if I didn't start putting him down alone he'd never be able to sleep well alone. I'm happy that he's fine doing either with crying at all.

[nola79]

I have held both of my children for naps when they were that age. One was a great sleeper, the other one, not so much. I think it depends more on personality if they're needy sleepers or not.

[Buzzer Beater]

 My 7 month old is not able to fall asleep on her own, and has taken naps on me twice a day for months now. As special as it is, I'm over it because my back is killing me. I also think her inablility to fall back to sleep without the breast is messing with our night sleep as she is up howling every time she wakes. Right now she is finally sleeping in her car seat on the dryer with a binky- so I can take down the Christmas tree and do some cooking for the week. It took DH about 45 minutes to get her down. I feel bad, but...

If I were you I would hold your baby as much as possible ( I wouldn't change that for a minute) but make sure your babe maintains the ability to fall asleep under her own power. I wish I had thought ahead to do that.

[MusicianDad]

My personal opinion is that newborns don't operate on logic, they operate on instinct and their instinct tells them mom being close by is safe and mom not being close by is not safe. I always believed that it's best for a newborn to fall asleep feeling safe and secure. I think DS touched the floor all of three times in his first six months of life.

[Ninetales]

My daughter slept only on my lap until she was somewhere around 4.5 - 5 months old.  Then, as if a light bulb went off, she would not sleep anywhere other than bed.  I didn't do anything or change anything.  I doubt that happens all the time, but there's one example where it didn't cause her to never grow out of it.  I liked it, and she slept better.  She's my first and I don't work outside the home, so I figured I'd enjoy it while I could.

[GuavaGirl]

In my experience, the 2 friends I have that always held their baby or slept with them during naps still need to be held for naps or they won't sleep. They're 11 and 9 months.  I would swaddle mine and put him down for naps so I could have a break and mine sleeps better by himself.  ...just my opinion.  ...but it makes sense that they would get used to it being a certain way and prefer it that way.

[plantnerd]

Hard to say.  I will say my son was put in a little baby papasan or swing for naps from birth to about 5 months.  It was when he outgrew these things that the trouble started.  He sleeps great in his bed at night but for naps I am trapped standing/walking around while he snoozes on my back in the ergo.  Working on this now, but sometimes I'm just so happy he's sleeping I'll put up with the pain (13 months old 26 lbs).

I would say you don't do yourself any favors by holding them for all naps, we all need a break sometimes.  Especially if you have an older child.  That would be a nice time for you guys to reconnect without the constant needs of new baby.

[whozeyermamma]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad 

My personal opinion is that newborns don't operate on logic, they operate on instinct and their instinct tells them mom being close by is safe and mom not being close by is not safe. I always believed that it's best for a newborn to fall asleep feeling safe and secure. I think DS touched the floor all of three times in his first six months of life.

I also agree with the PP who said it depends on the kid. My DD as a baby slept in arms for naps until 6 mo and then was a champion napper solo. This DS napped solo as a newborn, then spent a few months only napping with me or in the stroller - and is now (as I type) napping solo for 2 hrs. I think it is good to try to get them to occasionally nap solo to give yourself a break, play with your other kid/s - but I think that little babies - up to about a year - have so many transitions in life that they'll nap in arms or carriers, etc, when teething, sick, growth spurt, whatever.

[Adaline'sMama]

I dont think it makes for a needy baby, and I say enjoy it while you can. My DD will only fall asleep in my arms occasionally now, and I miss holding her while she sleeps and watching her rem and her little sighs.