Can't do it anymore! Need suggestions!

[Big D]

I'm pregnant, exhausted and sick all.the.time!  I have loved co-sleeping with DS (20 months) up to this point, but now the rough nights are killing me!  There are some nights that he nurses every 45 minutes all night long and I wake up sooooo grouchy that I don't even want to be nice to my little guy!

I need to decide what's best for all of us, including the coming LO.  I don't even know if I want to co-sleep with the next one because I worry that it will be too hard to get him/her out of my bed eventually!

Please help!  I could use some advice, comfort/hugs, and past experiences!

Thanks so much!

[ein328]

I could have written this post a few months ago when I was pregnant with DD#2. 

You don't have to give up co-sleeping to get some sleep- I would definitely recommend trying to night-wean first. We night-weaned DD#1 using Dr. Gordon's method and it worked wonderfully for us.

Once you night-wean, you can consider whether you want to continue co-sleeping or not. You'll be surprised at how much easier sharing a bed will be once you're not nursing non-stop. 

Personally, I would not try moving a child from my bed without night-weaning first. Moving to a new bed is traumatic enough, without cutting out nursing at the same time. Night-weaning will help ease the transition. 

Oh, and even though we night-weaned and DD#1 eventually moved to her crib for most of the night, she's still breastfeeding. So it didn't mean the end of our bf'ing relationship at all- in fact, it gave me the energy and patience to continue nursing through pregnancy.

[MamitaM]

It sounds like you do need to start night weaning. I read a little about how Jay Gordon does it and it sounds very gentle and slow. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[jojomamma]

I decided to end the co-sleeping before the night weaning for my 17 mos. old and so far it is working out great. My boy was just rolling around too much in bed and I realized that his proximity to us was waking him up and causing him to want to nurse more than he should need to at that point. So, we set up his toddler bed next to our bed in our room. I nurse him to sleep and them put him in his bed. He sleeps at least 3 or 4 hours at a time. The first week was on and off. He would start out in his bed but then would not want to go back in it after he woke the first time. I started using the bed for his afternoon nap as well. It only took a couple of weeks and now he is spending the whole night in his bed and only wakes up twice to nurse. It is still close by so it is easy and quick for me to nurse him without us both waking up completely. And he will mostly even want to be put back down before he is fully asleep now. He just rolls over and goes to sleep on his own after he gets his fill. He learned to love his bed quickly and there was no crying involved. I think it was just the right time and developmental stage for him. It sounds like your little one might be ready for this as well. Just a suggestion. Gook luck!

[penstamon]

We NW'd DS and moved him from our bed around the end of my first trimester and I am sleeping so much better now!  Unfortunately, DH is pretty much stuck in DS's bed for most of the night but I think on the whole everyone is sleeping better.  NWing was pretty easy for us compared to some stories that I have read. I just gradually cut down the length and then cut down the number of nursing sessions until he was down to just one at night and one in the morning.  He dropped both of those about a week or two later.

Good luck mama!

[XanaduMama]

When ds was 20mo, he was still waking to nurse every 2 hours. I too was newly pregnant and just totally exhausted. We nightweaned, which was really rough at first, so rough that, in fact, we (ie, dh!) ended up cheating and giving him a bottle of water, which was ultimately acceptable to him. We coslept for another 18 months or more and continued BFing until I lost my supply later in my pregnancy. Once we got him off the nighttime bottles (MUCH easier), he started STTN.

[Spring Lily]

I'd definitely nightwean before stopping the cosleeping. Otherwise you might be getting up repeatedly at night and feel even worse.

Depending on the space in your room, do you have any options? You could sidecar a crib or put a crib or twin mattress on the floor next to your side of the bed. That would give you more space while allowing you to keep nursing--if you want to. You could do both, move him next to your bed AND nightwean, giving you longer stretches of solid sleep AND space.

Halfway through my 2nd pregnancy I moved my toddler to her own bed because I was just so physically uncomfortable with her being so close, and it really upset me when she'd accidentally kick me in the stomach! Just saying, as your pregnancy progresses you will probably want more space and want to start moving in these directions.

[XanaduMama]

Yeah to that too! I highly recommend the side-car crib thing. Lifesaver, especially once the new baby arrived: I used to build a bit of a barricade of pillows to keep ds in his sidecar, and had the baby in the cosleeper or in the bed on the other side.

[hippymama23]

When did you start this process?  We are bed sharing and I need to start the transition.  I am just going along with bed sharing bc it is easiest thing and I don't want to have to read another book. Parenting books are overwhleming me these days.  Wll sometimes the whole mom thing is overwhleming.

I need to install bed rails (he is 9 months) or transition him to crib in the same room.  I feel like I need some transitioning expert consultant to come in and help me.