pregnant and wondering how to cosleep with two

[mommy92109]

We just came to the realization that I am pregnant! Both dh's and my second response (after being so excited) was how will we manage cosleeping with two? My ds will be two when baby#2 arrives. He is an incredibly light sleeper and wakes to nurse 3+ times a night. He will only go back to sleep with me (nursing) although we haven't worked too hard at getting him to go back to sleep with dh. My biggest concern for when the new baby arrives is that the new baby will wake ds and then I will have two to get back to sleep at once. Ds needed to sleep litterally in my arms until he was over 8 months old. What if baby #2 has the same need? Will they wake eachother, and how do I manage 2 at once? Dh works crazy hours so he isn't always available to help at night anyway. Does anyone cosleep with 2 light sleepers, and how do you manage? I do not want to move ds out of our bed. Im desperately looking for ways to keep him with us!

[prothyraia]

No real advice, just my experience:

DS1 was high needs, needed to be physically held down to sleep until until 9-10 months, frequently nursed at night.  He night weaned (and actually almost weaned entirely) during my pregnancy as my supply dropped/disappeared.  We took advantage of his decreasing nursing to start a "boobies are sleeping at nighttime too!" policy that we mostly stuck with even after the baby arrived.

DS2 was born when his brother was 20 months old, was the worlds most mellow and easy baby, and I assume he nursed at night but since he was right next to me I didn't wake up all the way so I couldn't say for sure.   He slept on one side of me, his brother slept on the other, and early in the morning I would turn back and forth to feed whichever of them needed it.  At night, DS1 didn't wake up to nurse (and probably didn't know his brother was nursing), possibly because there wasn't much fuss involved and the baby was latched on before he ever really started crying.

At ages 4 and 2 1/2 they both still sleep on either side of me (well, when I'm not a work...), both pretty much sleep through the night, and are entirely weaned.  We're expecting number three now....not quite sure how THAT'S going to work, heh.

[mom61508]

I'm wondering this too. I'm due in March and DD(21/2) sleeps in our room but in her own bed right next to ours. I'm concerned the newborn waking her often at night too. DD sleeps pretty heavy MOST of the time but still having a baby crying isn't an easy sound to sleep through. My issue is DH will only be here for 2 weeks after the babies born so I will not have night time help for about 6 weeks after baby is born. It's going to be interesting :) I'm so crabby when I don't get sleep lol! I guess my hope is the baby will be less needy than DD was when she was little. *fingers corssed*  I would love to hear other stories of how you mamas made it through this

[onelovelivity]

This is my experience which may be of some help although I must admit my first child was not a high needs at night baby so it was a little different from your situation. My DD was 15 months when DS arrived. She was sleeping through the night already and never woke up to feed so I felt it would be fine to have us all in the same bed. However after just two nights of the newborn waking her up and two cranky babies, I moved into the next room with baby and for about the next 8 months DH slept with DD while I slept with DS. That worked for us because co-sleeping is important to us and our main objective was that each child would have an adult in the bed with them. After about 8 months we all started sleeping in the same room as DS was less noisy when he woke up although if he was being especially cranky or needed changing I would just take him into the other room until he settled. I then traveled by myself with the two of them and we just had to make it work! Now we all sleep in the same bed again, I put DS in a travel cot until I go to bed. When I am ready to sleep I change DD diaper (she sleeps through this) and then change DS diaper while he is still sleepy as it's really only a diaper change that's going to make him scream and wake everyone up! I then BF him back to sleep and if he wakes up in the night again he will just nurse, roll over and sleep again. Only real problem I have is that DS will wake early in the morning and unless I can whisk my tired self out of bed super fast he will wake up DD who would otherwise sleep longer.

[apple o' my eye]

More stories please! We are looking at this at child #2 is due in Sept.

Thanks! :-)

[time4latte]

Originally Posted by apple o' my eye 

More stories please! We are looking at this at child #2 is due in Sept.

Thanks! :-)

You and me both. I'm pregnant and wondering just how nursing and cosleeping will work with two. I'm tempted to get my DS to sleep in his own bed and nightweaning prior to the baby arriving for simplicity, and he's okay waking up alone first thing in the morning when it's light, but he freaks if he wakes up alone in the dark. Most of the time I have to nurse him back to sleep. I know I've got plenty of time to figure this out, but the sooner I start the better.

Please - more stories!!

[zoesmama08]

Yes please more stories and experiences!  #2 is coming in May and we already have a 3yo happily in bed with us.

[Graceie]

[porcelina]

I feel obligated to say that it has been VERY hard for us!!

DS2 was born when DS1 was 35 months. We night-weaned during pregnancy all but one feeding (5 am or so). We tried moving DS1 into his own room, but it was a no go (not because we wanted him out, but because I feared what you fear -- them waking each other up). I figured we'd work it out. I looked for support on this forum and one person told me her success story, nursing both at the same time.

Well, it was a nightmare in the beginning. We tried having everyone in the same bed, and yes, they woke each other up. Baby woke up DS1. If I was not sleeping beside him (changing baby diaper or soothing baby outside the room to minimize crying), DS1 would wake up. When he woke up, he screamed, followed me around, cried, etc. You just can't be in two places at once. Then, when he woke at 5 am, he often woke up DS2, especially when I decided I couldn't take the 5 am nursing session with DS1 anymore since I often needed to attend to diaper changes/etc. at that same exact time. Tandem nursing simultaneously in the bed did not work for us, and I had huge aversion to toddler nursing and ended up completely weaning DS1 when DS1 was 3 and DS2 3 months.

So, we ended up with DS2 sleeping in a pack n play bassinette in another room, and me cosleeping with DS1. Sometimes I leave to sleep in another bed with DS2, but DS1 will often wake up and come looking for me, often screaming, waking DS1 up.

So, I just want to say, yes, it can be really hard with a light sleeper. I would say, night wean if you can during pregnancy and hope that the nightwakings stop/lessen. Try to get DH to help as much as he possibly can, even if he can't always do it. There are so many nights where I still have to deal with both crying at the same time. It's still really hard. I look forward to the day where we can all be in the bed together, but so far that day has not come. DS2 is now 4 months. I remember another MDC post who said she was in the same situation as me a year earlier, and it took a good 6 months for things to settle down, and that it was also very hard.

So, you are right to worry! Do everything you can to improve your situation before baby comes, because it will be all that much harder when he/she is here!

Good luck.

[Barefoot Farmer]

    Currently breastfeeding two out of my 13 mo old triplets, both nurse frequently at night.  Just found out I'm pregnant!  Trying to figure out how we will cosleep with 4 under 2, 3 of them wanting to nurse. . . . . IF I'm able to nightwean the triplets by the time the baby comes. . . how will that work in the bed. . . so overwhelmed right now. .

[apple o' my eye]

Originally Posted by porcelina 

So, you are right to worry! Do everything you can to improve your situation before baby comes, because it will be all that much harder when he/she is here!

Good luck.

Thanks for posting this!

We are trying to transition DD1 to her own bed/room from our side car situation this week. Hope it goes well & glad we have a few months to work it out. Although the next few months include lots of house guests!

Would love to hear more stories!!