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Fabulous 40++TTC. New Year and New Hopes

post #1 of 522
Thread Starter 

grouphug.gif  Here we go, ladies! Huddle! Share! It's the 2011 40+TTC thread!  



Pass the fertility goddess game:


Sign up with a pm to BB and I will add you to the list. Get the address for the person next in line, and send the goddess to her with a treat, wish, prayer, ttc tip, whatever is in your heart to share and add. When you receive the goddess let us know online, and share the token you got from the previous player if you so wish. Some things may be better private, and I know some of us believe in keeping some things close in order not to spoil them. Here goes:


Buzzer Beater

Kristin0105 lady.gif








Previous thread:  http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1267754/40-ttc-awesome-autumn-for-starting-a-baby-thread





 Babies Born

kbhlmh/Karen (44) Kevin (boy) born 12/05
noordinaryspider (42) Terran born 1/18/08
Hockeylover/Juls (44) Twin Girls born 12/08
Juneau (44): Baby Girl Eliza Jane born 1/12/09
DoulaMomVicki: Edie Mae born 1/25/09
WV Mommy/Erika (41): Josiah Born 2/5/09
Veganmama719 (41): Declan James born 8/2/09
saoirse2007 (39): It's a Girl!!! Rauri born 8/16/09
ElliesMomma(41) Welcome Shawn Robert born 09/8/09
Pookietooth/Jen (44) Baby Girl 10/28/09
Stealthee (41) A new baby boy, born 1/31/10
Grace24(39) Xavier, born 2/15/10
Sunrise/Sara (43) Lucy, born 2/28/10
zonapellucida (40) Bennet, born 2/28/10
BuzzerBeater (46) Georgia, born 5/20/10
LisaSedai (42) Lily Elise, born 6/17/10
pitchfork (41) Fiona Ellen, born 8/31/10

kel32brown/Kelli (43) baby born 10/6/10

karen1968 (41) Paige Marie, born 11/5/10

2bpeaceful (42) ds born 2/5/11


Ompath (40) EDD 12/1/10
NeverBeenHappier (39) EDD 12/5/10
M0xxie (43) EDD 1/23/11
2bpeaceful (40) EDD 2/1/11
mentalgiant (43) EDD 2/27/11
sneezykids/Kelli (40)
BHappy/Karen (43) EDD 6/6/11

karmab (42) EDD 6/28/11

greenmama66 (44)

maritimegirl (45)

bookwormommy (42) EDD 8/8/11
mamamerle (40) 8/8/11

Halifax40 (43)

Saoirse2007 (41)

moona (41)

EonJourney (41)

Waturmama (44) EDD 12/13/11


alittlesandy/Sandy (39)

Annie Mac (40)

beachlover (44)

Boozhemama (40)

contactmaya (44)
earthlymama (42)
edwardsmom (44)
enigo (40)

Eonjourney (40)
fuller2 (43)

gardeneraholic/alicia (46)
gerlassie (42)

Halifax40 (43)
heathenmom (39)

homebirthy/Amy (43)

hopeful mom2be (43)
jenjersnap (41)

Karalina (45)
kay99 (40)
kbhlmh (48)
kittyl/Kitty (42)
Kristin0105 (44)
lauraloveshorses (40)
LitMama (42)

lotus1 (40)
Lovenkisses (42)
lovestolearn (47)

lovetolaugh (40)
lovbeingamommy/Kate (45)

mamapajama (40)
MassaginMommy/Laurie (47)
MI_Dawn (39) http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/212b8a
moona (41)
music.mama.pdx (44)
naturallyspeaking (39)

reikibirth/Toni (45)
saoirse2007 (41)
Sapphos/Laura (41)

shy (40.5)

Stealthee (42)

Waturmama (44)


carfreemama (42)



If you have information to edit or update, please PM me and I will make changes and additions ASAP. I have a really good feeling about the new year for us...! Let's add to the BFP list.




Edited by Buzzer Beater - 4/6/11 at 8:07pm
post #2 of 522

Thank you Buzzer Beater!! flowersforyou.gif


Here I am. I was wondering why the other thread was so quiet and took a look. I will go post a link to this thread over in that one so all the subscribed people will know where to find us.

post #3 of 522

Ohmigosh!! I went over there and you had just done it yourself. Interstate mind meld...I love that!

post #4 of 522
Thread Starter 



Looking forward to hearing everyone's plans for the new year! 

post #5 of 522

Happy New Year ladies!


Sadly the year did not start out happy for us. On New Years Day, I started to bleed. Just like that. One day you are happily in pregnancy land and suddenly you are standing in the kitchen thinking"that feels wetter than it should" and yet you convince yourself it's just normal discharge, but alas it wasn't.


I knew my HPTs had taken longer to darken. I know some put no stock in the shade of lines, but hanging out the same faintness for days  on end, just didn't sit right with me. But you know Christmas has a way of making you feel hopeful. I sailed through it smiling and happy and letting myself really BELIEVE.


I did have a momentary thought two days prior to the bleeding that perhaps my bloat was looking less, and the metallic taste was gone and well by 7 weeks I should be getting a little more something.


Anyways 7 weeks 3 days and I seemed to have passed the tissue and hopefully all will go well with the rest. I've cried a lot. Do you know how odd it is to walk out of a bathroom having just passed what you are sure is your baby and have your six year old ask if he can have one of his Christmas chocolates. So surreal, how we have to just keep on going.


My dh has been so very sweet and instantly told me we could try again.


I'm surprised, but instead of feeling total despair, I'm feeling some sense of hope. Maybe its the hormones going crazy but  I hope it lasts. I got pregnant 3 times this past  year and m/c 3 times. In my life I have now lost 7 babies that I know of. Two in the second trimester at 18 and 19 weeks. That's enough for any one person don't you think? This last time was just on the heals of weaning my 2 year old. Not even a full cycle weaned, so I guess I'm trying to convince myself that next time, is going to be it. Maybe it's silly, but at this moment I just feel like there is another baby who IS going to join our family late this year. I hope my feeling is right.


I pray 2011, brings much happiness and healthy pregnancies and babies to us all.

post #6 of 522

Beachlover, i am so sorry. greensad.gifhug2.gif


At the same time, i also understand your optimism. What you say makes sense. A friend of mine irl (in her late 30's) miscarried several times in the year she was ttc. She eventually went to see an RE and found she was pregnant at the appointment. This one was a keeper though, twins. They are due one month from now.

Apparently, one is more fertile after a miscarriage.


May this year bring the baby you are trying for.

post #7 of 522

Buzzerbeater, welcome as our  new thread keeper.


Me-no news in this case is bad news-bfn. Ok, i only took it on day 10, but today  13dpo, af is here. I am not at all surprised. I am so so glad i didnt get my hopes up. I mean, i felt so pregnant, bloated, hungry, tired. Talk about cellular memory. But i knew better-high progesterone from the  having several follicles that the pure fsh injectibles helped grow-useless follicles it turns out. (i still love you follicles, you gave me two beautiful children)


So thats it, i know my egg quality is not good anymore. Maybe i could improve it. 


I plan on taking dhea for the next few cycles. But im not really that optimistic.


However, i finally signed up to pved.org (the link you gave me Buzzerbeater, for those interested in egg donation/or embryo donation) in the hopes of finding a donor embryo. I am ready right now to start this journey. I just have no idea how to find someone willing to donate. I did finally register on the forum, but it seems very quiet. Not sure where to go from here-ring a bunch of clinics? I dont know. I didnt need to ring the moderator to register. Im kind of afraid of ringing her, i dont know, this is all so new.


Happy new year everyone!

post #8 of 522
Thread Starter 

hug2.gif Beachlover. I hope your feeling is right too. 

post #9 of 522

Happy New Year!!!  May 2011 be a joyous and fertile year for us all.


I haven't been on MDC for a long time (when did it get revamped?) but I used to be a regular on the 40+ threads when I was TTC #1 in 2008-2009.  I turned 42 last week and I'm ready to TTC #2.  My DS is 11 months old and I'm still BF and haven't gotten PPAF yet, but I'm hoping that she's just around the corner.  It'll be the first time in a long time that I'll be happy to see her.


TTC #1 was a hard road- we were dealing with MFI in addition to the age factor- but after 20 months, 2 rounds of IVF, one chemical pregnancy, one m/c at 10.5 weeks, lots of supplements, herbs, fertility yoga, acupuncture, femoral massage, visualization, prayer and lifestyle changes we naturally conceived our DS.  Now, for some reason, I feel very hopeful that this time around it'll be easy. 


I look forward to getting reacquainted with some familiar folks and meeting some new ones.




ETA:  Beachlover, I'm so sorry for your loss.  You are strong beyond words, mama.

post #10 of 522

Beachlover and gumblossom I am sorry for your losses. I found chinese medicine critical to my recovery after my m/c last year. The hormone changes really had me our of whack emotionally and TCM helped keep me stable and get me back to normal. Take good care of yourselves.


I am on CD10 yay!!!! Finally ended my last cycle. I am so thrilled to have a new beginning for a new year. I am foolishly optimistic, not really sure why. I turn 45 tomorrow but I feel like 25 (just finished 65 minutes on my nordic track!)  and I remain optimistic. I am hoping if I don't conceive naturally to pursue alternatives possibly embryo adoption if needed. So I look forward going into this new year. 


Hope this new year is a good one for every one. Oh and BB I'll be first in line for the fertility idol if you decide to play the game. I like the idea sounds like fun.

post #11 of 522

Hi my name is Alicia. I'm trying ttc 3# . Beachlover and gumblossom though I don't know you I am sorry about your M/C . I have had only on in my life so I have an inkling of what it is like. I'm looking forward to learning more about ttc and getting to know the ttcer's on the forum .I hope the best for everyone this year and we get our BFP s with a baby at the end of nine months.Alicai/ Gardeneraholic 

post #12 of 522
Thread Starter 

Welcome to our thread gardeneraholic. May your stay here be short and fruitful!



I am making the list for pass the goddess game! It is posted on the front page with directions for new people. I will start by sending the goddess to Kristin0105... send me a pm and I will add you to the list.



ps I think I will buy a map to put her in and we can put ourselves on it with a heart or something. Then we can see where all she has been.

post #13 of 522

Oh Beachlover, I am so sorry.hug2.gif Also am glad you were feeling hopeful when you wrote, and know our emotions about this topic can ebb and flow. I love your description of your 6-year old's request as you left the bathroom. That is such a mama moment in all it's wild-craziness, wonderfulness, difficulty.


Stealthee! Glad to see you here. How amazing that your ds is 11 months old! May his sibling come soon.


Welcome, gardeneraholic!!


Kristin, happy eve of your birthday. I'm glad you are feeling optimistic.


ContactMaya, sorry about AF.


AFM I am 10 dpo, super achy tingly breasts. !!  I had them 2 days ago too, but not yesterday (just a little itchy--*there's* plenty of info for you!), so yesterday I was down, today I'm up. Oh it is hard to ignore symptoms that are so distracting. Of course this is making it hard to keep up the adoption research. I'm trying to keep it all in the pot of possibility. I'm also finding the embryo adoption idea intriguing.


post #14 of 522

Hi ladies, glad I found you.


Beachlover, I'm so sorry for your loss. It is awful feeling pregnant and happy only to have the baby leave you. I think my heartbreak is also due to the fact that my DH doesn't want to ttc again. He keeps saying we are lucky to have the healthy kids we have , and I agree, but it doesn't mean I have any less love for a new baby. I just have a strong feeling that we are meant to have one more child to complete our family, he feels that we did have it, but it isn't here with us.


 I will go to acupuncture next week, because I'd like to think I can get my cycle back to normal fairly quickly.I'm worried that the operation I had to remove the pregnancy may have been quite aggressive as I have had NO bleeding at all. Is that normal? I can't see the surgeon/obstetrician until next Wednesday. I hope there's been no damage and that if I get the opportunity,I'll be able to conceive again. I'm not ready to give up that dream yet.


All the best wishes for a wonderful,fertile,productive 2011(a new decade already!)shamrocksmile.gif

post #15 of 522

Hi gumblossom. I had bleeding after I had what I'm guessing was a similar procedure, though later in the pg. I don't know what typical is. That seems worth a call to the doctor's office.


The acupuncture sounds like a really supportive idea.


I know the feeling of my family not feeling complete and my dh having a different opinion. It seems so strange to me that we would feel different about that. I hope you two find a way with that which gives both of you peace and satisfaction.

post #16 of 522

Gumblossom:  I'm new here, but want to say how sorry I am for your loss, especially since your DH doesn't want to TTC anymore.   It does seem unusual that there wasn't any bleeding at all after your procedure, but hopefully it's normal.  I had a natural miscarriage at 10.5 weeks and after passing the POC, I only spotted a tiny amount for a few days afterward- less than a pantyliner's worth per day.  I remember being surprised at how little blood there was after the m/c itself.   Acupuncture sounds like a great idea.


post #17 of 522

Beachlover, I'm so so sorry for your loss hug2.gif It's really heartening to hear that you're able to reach down and find some hope. I also loved your story about your son... it's one of those sweet, awful, funny, surreal life moments. I remember the last chemical pg I had (so an earlier loss than yours), my bleeding started in the bathroom at work and I had to teach a class about 10 minutes later (no way to wiggle out of that one). It was very surreal and yet somehow good to pull me back into life. I'm sending healing wishes your way.


Gumblossom, I'm sorry the physical part of this has been difficult and puzzling, and I'm especially sorry about you and your DH not being in alignment about this. That must be so hard. Acupuncture can only help the physical as well as the spiritual healing. hug2.gif


Welcome, Gardeneraholic!


Kristin, so glad you are feeling some positive vibes. orngbiggrin.gif Happy almost-birthday!


Stealthee, welcome back! I think I remember you from before. Congratulations on your babe and may the new LO join your family soon! I love your picture.


WaturMama, I'm wishing you well with both the senso-boobs and the adoption research!


BuzzerBeater, thank you for posting the rules for the goddess game! I'd love to join in. I saw an ancient fertility goddess recently in a museum and was very moved by her (and by a culture that would conjure her into existence and daily utility). I asked a friend who is an artist to help me make one.


AFM, I'm 10dpo and still in the land of post-surgery recovery. I've developed a somewhat resistant infection and am on my 2nd round of antibiotics for it (yikes!). They're all pg-safe drugs, but between that and the painkillers and the fevers, I'm not placing any wagers on this month's outcome. DH and I both just want my body to heal, and to worry about ttc later. And yet, we did try this month (somewhat regrettably, in retrospect), and now I have a few possible signs... a strong temp dip at 7dpo, a few tugging sensations that day, and slightly tingly boobs yesterday and today. It's all probably nothing, but I do find it amazing how hope comes creeping in every month around this time... 

post #18 of 522

I am new here tho not to the boards. I just miscarriaged over Christmas too, I was 9 weeks along- my first after being so lucky to have three babies. The holidays seemed like the worst or the best time to have a m/c. I haven't decided yet-- but I have decided I am certifiably depressed. I am so tired and so lethargic- I think it is just my way of taking care of myself. I am trying to exercise and get outside and eat healthily and all of that, and be grateful for what I do have- which is so so much-- but God, I really wanted this particular baby. I know what everyone means about how it hurts when people say "Oh, you can try again" or "it wasn't meant to be". Well, thanks! That makes me feel  alot better!

 I loved that baby, and now I am afraid I will never get the chance to meet him or her.

This is one question I don't think I could ask anyone (except maybe my husband) "If we ttc again, will the same little baby soul come back to me? "  Of course, no one can know the answer but if I knew it were yes, I would definitely try again. Has anyone else thought about this?

I am so so sorry for your losses Gunblossum and Beachlover. Beachlover, you are amazing. I could not have lived through all you have been through. I am so sorry it has been so hard for you. You have a wonderful attitude and are an inspiration to me.

And GumBlossom, I am sorry your husband doesn't want to ttc again. My husband has been supportive of ttc again, and that has helped me so much.  Maybe your DH will change his mind?

I have read and searched on several threads and several forums and this one seems right. It's the first one I've reached out to. Thank you for being here. I haven't even reached out much to my family and not at all to my friends- I just don't think anyone can understand where I am right now- except you all who are living it. BTW, I am turning 45 next week.

Buzzer Beater- I'd love to join in the game but I am utterly confused.

Edited by Karalina - 1/5/11 at 1:35pm
post #19 of 522

Karalina, I am so sorry for your loss. It really does feel sad that our babies couldn't come to us.


I don't know if you have read "Spirit Babies" by Walter Makichen http://www.amazon.com/Spirit-Babies-Communicate-Child-Youre/dp/0385338120? I love it. He talks about our spirit babies choosing us, and sometimes not feeling ready to come to us in early pregnancy. I'm not sure i entirely agree with him, but do like the idea that our babies choose us, and have felt that to be true. I guess that is why I find it so hard to accept that my childbearing journey may be over.I think ttc would help with my grief.


I'm resolving to take good care of myself physically,just in case, and I still hold onto hope...

post #20 of 522

karalina, i have thought about this question too.  I believe that you know. I believe it makes sense that if you have a miscarriage, that the next time you get pregnant, its the same soul waiting around for the right time. I dont know, because these are things we can never know intellectually, but you can know in your soul.


I think about the time when i was 24 and had an abortion. (im sorry to mention that here) I often think of that child to be's soul. I remember making a pact with him/her, saying, when i was ready, to come back.


Buzzerbeater, i know how you feel about the disbelief when it comes to losing your fertility (or maybe losing it).  Our whole lives, we know that we can have babies. We spend our lives plotting and planning, going on birth control,  waiting until  'the right time' which never seems to come. WEorrying about getting pregnant. I remember my friend at high school panicking about being pregnant. I remember myself doing the same. We spend forever trying to trick our bodies into being infertile, so that we can control our lives. And then, suddenly, its gone. You cant have babies anymore.  It was a fleeting moment.


I know i might seem optimistic about everything, and i try to be. But this heavy realization is getting me in the gut right now. Embryo  donation seems to difficult. 

Is it really true that i cant have babies anymore?   I just cant stand  the thought of that right now. 



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