(((hug))) Karalina, so sorry about AF. I like that you mention you are enjoying trying. I do like the trying, too.
My dh and I got to do some trying today and this evening I had ewcf, so some good hope there. It is so refreshing for me to have that hope with liking the adoption option alongside it. It feels easier.
Halifax I'm still thinking of you too.
Hi all, I'm usually a lurker but I came outta the shadows last year when I got pregnant at 44. We seemed good to go up to the 1st trimester screen, but that had very scary odds and by the time of the amnio the baby had passed. Wanted to come on to say hi to all of you and I sure hope I'm posting here again since we're going to give it another try... and as I always do when I lurk, sending you all sticky sticky baby dust!
Also just wanted to chime in to gunblossom and Halifax:
gunblossom, when we had that m/c last year, it was particularly hard on DH. That was our 3rd, but the 1st that went to 4 1/2 months before the m/c. DH said the same thing yours did "That's it. No more trying." Sounds like you guys are already "back in the saddle" so to speak ::winkwink:: but wanted to share that in my case it took being really honest with my DH about my fears and concerns but also telling him that I'd find peace with whatever decision he made about it all to let him find the will to try again. Also, it probably helps that in our case, I do kinda feel like this will be the last try for me too, if anything bad happens heaven forbid. Wanted you to know you're not alone on that difficult period situation, and I hope you guys have happy happy results this time around.
Halifax, my heart totally goes out to you, as I now know that feeling you've been through too many times myself. That experience of not seeing what you know you're supposed to see on the u/s... heartbreaking. I both wanted to send you virtual hugs but to also offer a tiny little suggestion if you get a BFP again soon. I noticed you said you were 9+ weeks when you went in for your 1st u/s. Have you talked to your doc about, next time you get pregnant (I'm assuming you'll try again but of course I understand that might not be the case), going in much sooner after the BFP? With the one successful pregnancy I had (delivered a couple months before 43rd b-day), my doc suggested I come in very soon after the BFP (I think I was 6 wks) so he could test my blood and see if there was anything he wanted to "boost". I remember him specifically wanting to check my progesterone, but there seemed to be a few other things he wanted to check. He ended up putting me on baby aspirin (one/day) but nothing beyond that. At the time I knew what concern he had that he thought the baby aspirin would address, but I can't remember this moment. Just sharing though because I just felt that it was good to get checked early to see if there was anything of concern that he might at least try to address, even if it was earlier than most 1st u/s's. I've since changed docs but this new one also said she wants to know the moment we get a BFP and wants to see me soon after, so thought I would share that. If we are lucky enough to be in that situation, I'll ask her what things she'll look for and share here, in case it's of interest to anyone.
Take care all you beautiful ladies!
Saoirse, how exciting! Woohoo!
Saoirse, that sounds very promising! So excited for you. Karalina, I'm sorry about AF.I'm glad you are enjoying the trying part - that's a good thing!
I'm 7 dpo today. I've been feeling quite warm, which is probably a good sign, but of course I immediately think,"menopause". I'm terrified that the chance at another baby will disappear as I get closer to 45. However, there are plenty of 44,45 and 46 year olds having babies. TTC seems to require a lot of emotional energy lately, but I suppose that's partly due to the miscarriage and my DH's response. I just don't know how long I can keep trying, but then again I don't know that I can stop trying either! It's crazy.
I have hardly any symptoms and very little breast tenderness. The only thing that gives me hope is I've had a little heartburn, which happened in the 2ww the last time I got pregnant.But it remains to be seen.I'll probably test at 10 dpo, so it's not that far away.
LROM- thanks for your kind words. I am so sorry for your loss.May I ask if you know why your baby passed? I'm sorry if I'm prying, please just say so if I am. I'm glad to hear you are ttc again, and hope you'll join us here.
My little boy, 2 and half, has just come along in leaps and bounds over the last two months. He's now toilet trained, weaned off the breast, makes himself understood easily and so much more sociable with other children - it makes me wonder if the miscarriage was kind-of because he wasn't quite ready, that it would be better for our family to have the next baby a bit later.
My personal belief is that spirit babies find us or choose their parents, and maybe our baby didn't feel the time was right. It gives me some comfort, but I do miss the baby terribly, and sometimes feel frantic at the thought that it might not come back.
I'm trying really hard to let the whole ttc thing go, but I've always been a micro-manager (not one of my best traits!) so I overthink everything. I really need to get back to acupuncture, it does help with my anxieties. I had two appointments in the last month, both missed due to the fact I was having a bad day and crying so much! I'm determined I will go this week.
I've also started the yoga journal 21 day challenge - where you do yoga every day - the class provided online - for 21 days. So far I've done day 1! I hope to keep it up because I've really missed that part of my life and it helps so much.
Phew! Sorry about all the post being "me","me","me"! Wishing all the best for everyone - babies galore!
Thx for all the hugs and love sent to me.
I was thinking today if if doctors could ( or midwives) could test you right away after a BFP to make sure you are not imbalanced in something -- I actually wrote it in my journal!! and then LROM out of the blue answers! thank you!!! Should I (please!!!) get pregnant I will definitely have tests done to make sure it's all good for a baby to grow. thank you for that info so much!
Welcome back LROM--- good luck!!!
Fingers crossed Gumblossom --- I sure hope you get a BFP!!!!!!
Halifax- still thinking of you and sending you love and anything that can ease your sadness and pain right now.
Waturmama- fingers crossed for a happy egg sperm meeting!!!!
Love to everyone!!
(((hug))) gumblossom. I think ttc may very well get easier for you. It is only 2 months since your loss.
halifax so sorry for your loss. As you know i too have been in that position of looking at the u/s and knowing what you are seeing is not what you are supposed to be seeing. What a terrible sinking feeling. I wish you the best please take care of yourself and take the time you need to morn and heal. It sounds like some type of testing is in order. I hope it provides some solutions. all the best to you.
I decided to hold off a month on my testing for several reasons, one I don't want bad news ans two I want my new herbs to have time to have an impact. I have actually been using chinese herbs for almost three years. This is just a new approach since I did not ovulate in my cycle before last and last cycle I ovulated very late. I see some benefits already CM is back after disappearing for a while. I love Chinese medicine. I just wish it would result in a baby for me!!!! After meeting with my TCM provider last week as we were talking she honed right in on the fact that I was experiencing inordinate personal stress right at the time my ovulation became delayed. The stress continued and ovulation did not occur. Last cycle I was still stressed etc... she says my stress management is a work in progress. I say I need my bio family not to be such difficult people and make life so difficult for others (me) :) this month I continue to focus on exercise, stress management, saving $ for an embryo if needed, and weight loss. Not necessarily in that order! Hope everyone has a great week.
Hi all- I ahvea OPK question-- I did one last time- for the first time, and I got the smiley face- which means I had LH surge , right? Does that mean i ovulated? I acn't feel my ovulation----
Thank you so much for all of your thoughtful and supportive words.
Just dropping in for a quick update as still not feeling much like posting. It has been one week since that devastating U/S. Unfortunately my body is doing its best to hold onto this pregnancy even though it should have let go weeks ago (I would be 11 weeks tomorrow). My hcg is coming down but is still high enough that it may still be quite some time before my body finally clues in, not even a hint of spotting yet and still having some breast tenderness. I want this to happen naturally, but mentally it is hard to just keep waiting knowing it is already over and I don't want to have it happen while I am out working (I am an RN who does home visits)...so I am thinking of speeding up the process with the misoprostol the clinic gave me. I just worry that it won't work so well with my body still holding on,and I so don't want a D&C. As well my husband is supposed to be away next week on business, so it would be better to have things happen while he can be here with me.
Overall I guess I am doing okay, but it is very hard. So scared it will never happen for us. We will try again as soon as my body is able. The clinic is setting us up to see someone regarding possible recurrent loss testing...it is likely just old eggs and bad luck, but if there is anything that can be addressed we want to know.
Saoirse- Congratulations! Wishing you the best of luck with your pregnancy.
Karalina- A +OPK shows that you are having (or have had, may be catching it at end) an LH surge. This usually proceeds ovulation by approx 12-36 hours. Generally with such a surge ovulation will happen, but one can also have a surge as body tries to ovulate but it doesn't happen, so it is good to confirm O with BBT charting. As far as feeling ovulation, some women do, but some don't. I have never had O pains ever. As well one can get pains as the follicle grows, as it is released or even after it has happened, so pains are not always accurate for determining when or is O happened.
Thx Halifax. I feel so much for you. Sending you lots of love and caring support. I wish it would just happen so you could process this and move on. You are very courageous. Hugs.
Halifax what about TCM herbs? When I had my m/c my acu said she could gently ease my body if it didn't happen on it's own. For me it did happen on it's own but I needed herbs afterward because my hormones were out of whack and it made my emotions CRAZY. Hoping your body heals quickly.
Halifax, how are you holding up? I'm glad to hear you're having the testing done. I had that done after I had a string of very early (before 6 weeks) m/c. There are a lot of factors that can contribute to m/c, and a lot of ways to treat those issues. I have my fingers crossed for you that you can pinpoint something and find a solution. I wanted to mention, too, that you also might want to consider having your DH do the genetic blood panel... there are genetic factors that can come from the man's side. DH and I both had that done and were able to rule out a lot of issues. I'm thinking of you and sending you ((( hugs )))! Take good care.
Nurse called 2 days ago and said she was worried because my beta was low...asked me some questions (all relating to etopic pg)
she had me freaked out!!!
my first beta was 66
my second beta was 203
a doubling time of 42.57 hrs
the numbers are a little low but they are doubling in a normal time period....
I went in for the blood test today anyway....right afterward I drove like a crazy woman to Walmart and bought a 2 pack FRER and poas in the store!!!!
it is darker than the control line 
All night I was googling betas and blighted ovum and ectopic....
so I went in for the test yesturday and just got the results...
1469 doubling 33.97 hrs
feeling much better now! dd has been sick and nursing like mad since the day I got my bfp a week and a half ago....I thought it might be causing some problems....
I guess not! but I feel like I have a fever....from dd....smiling right now....starting to beam actually!
Thank you all for being here since know one irl knows...I have no family and dh's family is not going to be happy
Saoirse, *I* am happy!!! Wonderful news!!! Sending lots of good sticky wishes--sounds like that little one is on a sticky roll with the hcg!!!
YAY Yay YAY Saoirse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Awesome- we all need some good news around here!!!!!
I have an unrelated question-- does anyone know anything about taking adrenal gland supplement? i used to to take it for energy (I have really low energy w/out supplements) and I stopped when i got pregnant before the m/c bc i was worried about it affecting my hormones, but I can hardly function without it now- (at least i think that is the difference). I know i should probably ask a dr. but i don't have one or know who would know-- I thought maybe some of you smart babes would know!
Congrats Again Saoirse!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you!!!
saorise I am so happy for you!!!!!!!!
I hope this is one sticky little babe for you. Sounds good so far. Take care of yourself and enjoy your pregnancy.
Saoirse...what fantasic news!!! I am so happy for you!! 
Karalina...I'm sorry AF arrived. I have also been thinking how wonderful it would be to get testing done right away to correct any imbalances in early pregnancy. Does anyone have any idea on what types of tests to ask for? It seems that I need to be very proactive with my healthcare providers and ask for exactly what I want. I'm sorry I don't know anything about adrenal support.
Halifax...Thanks so much for checking in during this difficult time. I hope that during these long days you remember that so many of us are thinking of you, sending prayers for peace and strength.
Kristin...I'm sorry you are under so much stress. It can be so harmful to our bodies. I'd like to tell your family to get their act together!!
But it sounds like you are focusing on ways to really enhance your health this month...my goal also, as we skipped ttc this month.
Gumblossom...Any news???
AFM...DH is back in the country, but we completely missed my ovulation window. I'm trying to take a more laissez-faire attitude toward ttc and I'm feeling good about that right now. It may all change, though, during my next 2ww.
Saoirse that is wonderful news. Sounds perfect:-)
Halifax, I really hope you are hanging in there. My first m/c was at 13 weeks, but baby had been growing very slowly and probably passed sometime around 11 weeks. The further you get, the longer it takes many times.
Kristin, I hope that you are feeling less stressed this month and that your herbs do the trick.
AFM, I was very sick with some horrid virus this month leading up to ovulation, but thankfully it did seem to delay ovulation by a few days and I ended up with tons of CM(I had mucus coming out of every body part so maybe it helped...lol) But in my still hacking state I forgot to right down which day I ovulated, because you know I was sure I wouldn't forget(I really am getting old, aren't I). I think it was last Thursday but could have been Friday. So I'm either 6 or 7dpo.
I'm 7 dpo today. I've been feeling quite warm, which is probably a good sign, but of course I immediately think,"menopause". I'm terrified that the chance at another baby will disappear as I get closer to 45. However, there are plenty of 44,45 and 46 year olds having babies. TTC seems to require a lot of emotional energy lately, but I suppose that's partly due to the miscarriage and my DH's response. I just don't know how long I can keep trying, but then again I don't know that I can stop trying either! It's crazy.
I've also started the yoga journal 21 day challenge - where you do yoga every day - the class provided online - for 21 days. So far I've done day 1! I hope to keep it up because I've really missed that part of my life and it helps so much.
Gumblossom, it's funny isn't it? It's one of those things that changes when you get older. When you miss a period or feel a little strange, it's not automatically, "I'm pregnant." There's also that other voice in there now that says, "is this menopause?" I saw the doctor for something when I was in my 30s, and he asked about menopause. I said "Im 30-whatever years old!" and he says, "yes?" As in, what's your point, lady?
I aspire to do the yoga challenge. Thank you for pointing out its existence. I haven't been able to thus far, what with the baby and DH being out of town and all, but I will get back to yoga. I will, I will, I will.
Saoirse, awesome! Congratulations!
I've been charting faithfully. Interestingly, there *is* a surge of temperature where I would expect it, but absolutely no CM whatsoever. At least none that I've noticed. So that's not good, right?
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