Yay Beachlover! Great news.<
Soairse - how are you doing?
Not much going on here. I fired up my new fertility monitor today. I suppose it can't hurt.
I'm trying to remain positive, but sometimes feel the battle is getting too hard. It's nice to see BFP's happening./p>
yeah beachlover i see it!!!!
and I am not the oldest person in the October ddc...kdabbler is 42.
:joy:joy:joy:joyBeachlover congratulations !!!!!
So interesting about the non fat dairy thing. Glad i switched to full cream yoghurt....(mainly for my kids actually)
Congratulations, Beachlover!!! I think that is a very fine line for 10 or 11 dpo. May this be your sticky bean.
Saoirse, very cool that you are not the oldest person in your due date club, and that there is another fabulous-40-something. What happened with your blood pressure? I hope you found a good solution that wasn't too stressful.
AFM, yesterday I called the adoption agency and asked a few questions about some logistic things I was particularly stressed about. The person I talked to was so nice and helpful, and even came up with a solution that would make one thing much easier. After that call I just felt so excited about that path. Then in the middle of the night I suddenly had sensoboobs, this morning I had cramps and nausea. They were like menstrual cramps in the am, but now are more like tingly cramps. I am 6dpo. This is a common pattern for me on cycles where I've had BFP. Of course none of those times have I actually had a baby. (If it happened when I was pg w/ds I don't know, because I wasn't obsessing observing so closely then.) And yet...I am excited about the possibility of being pg, and weirdly optomistic. I mean it does happen for people!! So my fingers and toes are crossed, my prayers are being said. And it is good to have options.
Waturmama it's funny how we get good at knowing. Last month after my m/c, I just knew I'd never see a positive and this cycle from about 6 or 7dpo I was sure I would. You are right it does happen for people.
I think the adoption path sounds so exciting though too. Keep us posted on that as well.
Kristin, I'm glad you are feeling back on track. I really hope you get that +++ this month.
just some gentle hugs gumblossom. That fertility monitor might just do the trick.
Thanks to all of you for the congrats. I'm very nervous and I just wish I could enjoy this. My test was a little darker today, but I sure would have loved a nice glaring one. If I could just get a really solid good line by 14 dpo, I'd be thrilled. I guess the next few days will tell quite a bit.
7 dpo. I am nauseous and my boobs are tingling to distraction. They are actually bigger, which doesn't even seem possible, but I've got my measurement techniques down. I have a busy week and am trying not to think about this much, but it is very difficult when with all these physical sensations. In a way I like that I am relentlessly optimistic and I still get a excited by the possibility, but when I think of the odds I little bit hate to see myself go there. BTW, I'm talking my odds, based on my past, phooey to the generalized odds. And speaking of odds, I heard from a 45 yo friend last night who is in her 2nd trimester of pg after years of early m/cs. It really does happen for people, I say again.
Yay no delayed ovulation, Kristin!
Beachlover -- I am sending you so so so many wishes for a sticky baby-- PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let this be the one------ 
Gumblossom
I know how you feel but now that it is my time to try again (boy the time went fast) I am all excited again--- i didn't think i could get into it this month but I am-- hang in there-
Waturmama
I am praying for a BFP for you!!!!!
sending lots of love to everyone -----
We have a really special thing going on in our town-- a Tibetan Buddhist Monk is doing a sand mandala here and giving teachings- here's the link to see it-
http://www.aschico.com/aspro/mandalaofcompassion
I am going to a teaching tonight on the Green Tara-with him-
when i searched just now to explain what the Green Tara is-- this is what i found!!
When it is said that all one's wishes will be fulfilled, it means that if you need a child, you'll get one. If you have financial needs, these will be met. Whatever wishes you have, all of them can be fulfilled through praise to Tara. Actually, one doesn't need more than this practice; it accomplishes everything! source: http://www.lamamigmar.com/html/practice-green-tara.html#Benefits
I was going to tell you that i will do my practice tonight for all of us-- that our wishes may be fulfilled.
WaturMama, wow, that sounds so very promising! May this be your month!
Kristin, yay for the power of TCM! So glad your cycle is back on track!
Karalina, you are so sweet! Thank you for saying a prayer/blessing for all of us tonight. Your thoughtfulness brought tears to my eyes. Green Tara is also the goddess of compassion, and we all need that here when the journey starts to feel too long and difficult. Thank you. :-)
Gumblossom, I'm feeling it, too! Hang in there, mama. ((( hug )))
I'm 7dpo and no real signs... temp dip yesterday, spike today, woke up hot and sweaty. Slight crampiness/fullness and tiny shooting pains in boobs. But I recall that for me all of these things can result from the normal LP progesterone. I was feeling a bit impatient and frustrated and alone (the fact that I used to at least have chemical pgs every couple of months, but have now gone 7 or 8 months without even conceiving, is really bringing me down -- what does this mean?). But then when I read your hopeful posts it brought me back up. :-)
I am very hopeful seeing some positive 2ww on here!
me...sinus infection
Well not feeling very confident at all.
I took a FRER the last two days. Yesterday's was darker, but today it just stayed the same. So then I took another this afternoon and it was almost negative. So being upset I ran to the store and bought some Clear Blue and EPT. The Clear Blue you could see the line coming up right away, but then it just faded away to almost nothing. So odd. Then the EPT did the same sort of thing, but there at least was a bit of a line.
I'm guessing a chemical pregnancy. Why? I mean, I know I'm old, but man it's just so odd and sad.
In case you are interested here is my FRER from this morning and my EPT from tonight.
Beachlover I am no expert but couldn't different tests show different degree of darkness just because they measure differently. Or is it possible you drank more before one test than another so your urine might be more dilute? Just sayin...
Waturmama your symptoms sound so promising I will be saying a little prayer for you. I loved Karalina's post about the blessing and it reminded me of a study I read about in grad school about a prayer group in one country praying for women in another country and the women who were being prayed for did not know it but the outcome was statistically positive. I think if I recall correctly it had something to do with fertility. I am going to do a search and see if I can find the study. But in the meantime perhaps we could all meditate, pray, howl at the moon, do what ever it is we believe in for this group and perhaps it will work. Anyone interested in a meditative/prayer/moon howling/incantation group?
In 2008, there were more than 106,000 live births in the United States to women ages 40 through 44, and 7,666 live births to women 45 to 54. In 2006, there were 2,274 live births to women over 42, using donoreggs." Found this at http://pregnancy over 44 y.blogspot.com/ remove the spaces of course.
So against my better judgement I went to my GYN for an annual checkup ugh... I told her I wanted to get pregnant and she told me I was getting to the point where I really needed to do something because at 45 blah blah blah and you need to go see an infertility specialist and they can do x.y.z and what about donor eggs etc... When I told her I didn't have $20,000 for donor eggs IVF etc.. she said only you know how much you want to sacrifice in order to have a baby. I know she meant well but geez make me feel bad I am poor. She asked about my m/c and why I had gone to a certain hospital explained how I ended up there referred by hb midwife because OBGYN would not see me because I did not have my insurance card. So she then crossed herself I assume because of the HB. Then at the end of our talk she says You know I've done HB's this is not foreign to me but it really scares me to think of you trying a hb at your age. There are too many risks etc... I asked her what they were and they were all risks that anyone has giving birth. Weird, if I was the anxious type she would have scared the begeezus aout of me! I so should have taken my $272 and gone away for a weekend of fun and relaxation. Oh and they took me 45 minutes late because the drug rep walked in 5 minutes after I did. GRRRRR On a bright note I even did admit I had nursed my daughter to past 5 years of age. I wasn't going to tell but needed to defend my reason for not having had a mammogram.
http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=R7wTAAAAIBAJ&sjid=ZAcEAAAAIBAJ&pg=6934,8015678&dq=older-mom
Old letters from dear abby read the whole column especially if you worry you may be too old to have a child and what will the child think etc....
Kristin, I loved the Dear Abby column. On a similar note (having a menopausal mom), I heard an interview today with a woman (sorry, don't know who she was as I turned the radio on part way through; she was obviously an older female comedian though) and she was talking about the power that 11 year old girls have. She was saying that before her hormones kicked in, when she was 11, she was full of confidence and very sure about who she was and where she was going and what her boundaries were. Then puberty came and she became less secure and more affected by the things people would say to and about her. Now that she's menopausal, she said all that pre-pubertal confidence came right back! I can only imagine that would be a good energy for a child to be around.
Beachlover, I'm so sorry you're feeling worried! ((( hugs ))) I agree with Kristin, there are so many variable involved with HPTs... I really noticed something similar myself this month with OPKs. As an experiment, I used 3 different brands side by side and got 3 different results with huge variance in the darkness of the lines (or even appearance of lines). I'm also wondering if your lines will be darker tomorrow... doesn't the doubling time mean you might not see much difference between one day and the next? I'm praying this is not a chemical but just a flukey series of tests. Sending lots of good, line-darkening wishes your way! Are you able to get a blood beta HCG done?
Kristin, I've seen that website too and love your quote! I'm sorry you had such a crummy experience with your GYN. ((( hugs ))) I honestly think I have been putting off my pap for the same reason, to protect myself from those types of interactions. My GYN told me a year ago that "your chances are not astronomical" and I hate to slink in there with my tail between my legs and provide her with proof that she was right. I also hate it when people dismiss financial concerns with a wave of the hand and a "well, how important is it to you, anyway?" Money is a reality, and not having enough of it has nothing to do with values and priorities. Okay... vent over! Now on to more positive thoughts... I love your idea of meditating / praying / etc. for one another and I am IN!
AFM, I'm in the roller coaster phase... down in the dumps yesterday because I wasn't feeling any symptoms at 7dpo, flying high today because I was feeling some potential symptoms, and now this evening I'm back down to earth. After another temp spike this morning (I'm over 98 now) and some symptoms (bloating, weird taste in my mouth, slight nausea and salivation, dizziness, jello legs), I showed up for my acupuncture appointment and announced to my TCM practitioner "I think we conceived this month!" but she was skeptical when I described what I was feeling, saying "well, it's good information, anyway." Poke! Bubble burst. Now I don't feel a thing and wonder if it was all in my head. But, I'm encouraged by WaturMama's comment that "it does happen for people!" I'm also inspired by stories like Stealthee's and WaturMama's friend Moxxie (sp?) who had a baby at 43 (?) after TTC for 2 years. So, YES, it could still happen for all of us. :-)
Wow, some of those symptoms of you girls sound promising!
Beachlover, im not convinced that those pictures are anything to worry about. (im no expert, havent seen a bfp since 2007 :-)
Kristin, what can i say, western medicine...it helps to have low expectations. They can be helpful sometimes though.(sometimes)
Thanks for the link Karalina!
AFM? Nuthin' much. Got a reply for the donor embryo, but i am wondering if i want to spend over 5k to get it done.(apparently i have to travel to san fransisco...thats very far away from me. I could do those things *before* i had kids) Now im having to spend large sums of money on a therapy for my son, to do with auditory processing. Insurance never covers therapies that actually work. (anyone heard of HANDLE ?) Still plugging along with my own cycles, but nothing interesting to report.
Also, i really am enjoying life without a baby now that my ex baby is almost 3. Its fun getting around with two young kids, and no baby in tow. Nice on my back. Also, im taking up my languages again, now that i actually have the time and energy to focus. Its nice to be able to focus.
Im counting my blessings, but still open to another one :-)
Okay, ladies, I was ready to try raw egg whites as an O-time lube! But now I think I will try Yes Baby: http://www.yesyesyes.org/yesbaby.htm It's sperm and vag-friendly, organic and contains no parabens. Also really impressive corporate ethics. Sweet!
Maya, glad you're feeling the gratitude and enjoying life with your ex-baby! :-)
It was so wonderful to get back here and read all the posts! This is such a loving and supportive place!!
Kristin...I love the idea of a meditative/prayer group...I'm in too!!
Beachlover...I think it's really difficult to compare different test brands at different times of the day. There are just so many variables. I'm crossing my fingers that the line just keeps getting darker and darker! Please let this be a sticky baby!!!!
My fingers are crossed for you too, LItmama! Your symptoms sound very promising to me!
I love your grateful outlook, Maya! And I agree...insurance NEVER cover therapies that actually work. We are also paying huge out of pocket expenses for therapies for DS2. But it's so worth it because it works and has restored a quality of life that traditional therapies could not.
Karalina...I wish I lived in CA! I would have loved to go to that teaching with you! How was it?
Waturmama...I hope this is it!!
Gumblossom...I'm so sorry about AF. I know how difficult it can be to get that BFN, but hang in there. That baby is just waiting for something!
AFM...AF is due any day now, but I've lost track because I've been so busy with vomit. UGH!! I have easily done 25 loads of laundry in the last 4 days. All three kiddos have this bug. As soon as I hear/see it coming, I just start laughing because, well, what else am I going to do?! I think I'm going stark raving mad!! Looking forward to cleaner, drier days!!!
Lovetolaugh--- you made me cry with laughter- sorry- i know it's not really funny right now- but i have so been there and love that you laugh when you hear it coming- bc What else are you gonna do??? PERFECT!!!!
Kristin- loved the link to Dear Abby- my sister said something that i am still angry about right after my m/c at Xmas- she said "oh, i just think it would be terrible for a teenager to have an old grey woman at their graduation as their mother-- I wouldn't even go to my graduation if my mom was as old as you are going to be." This was after i told her I was going to try again. I could NOT believe she would say that and I cannot get over it. I think i will send her the link. i just feel for her bc I know she wanted kids and had a mis/c with twins so i'm not sure if subconciously she's angry or jealous or something but still.... that was such an awful thing to say.
Beachlover- sending you hugs- can you get a blood test? sending you prayers for darker lines---
I did pray for us all at the Green Tara practice and at the Medicine Buddha teaching and meditation. Did you feel it??
AFM, I think i should be O'ing by now but i keep getting O and not the smiley face on the clearblue easy OPK tests. I think we will try anyway- what if it's wrong? i have really good CM-- stretchy egg whitey--- One thing is I can't hold my pee for 4 hours like it says (Do you think it makes that big of a difference?) And I read not to do it in the morning bc it can take 4 hours after arising for the LH surge- plus I started my adrenal gland concentrate again today bc I'm so tired I can't function-- I hope it's ok- but i did get preg last time while taking it- but i m/c.
I'm gonna go call DH to come home so we can BD. I don't think I can keep trying for much longer. i can't stand being in limbo land- i want to get fit and diet but i'm afraid all that may mess up TTC, and I need to see why I am so tired that i can't function properly--- and I want to detox. But i want a baby worse : )))!!
Love to you all-------
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