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Fabulous 40++TTC. New Year and New Hopes - Page 20

post #381 of 522

Saoirse that is wonderful news!!!

post #382 of 522

BeachLover, I'm so sorry ((( hug ))) I hope you and your family are taking good care of you.

post #383 of 522

Saoirse, yay!!!!! Congrats on a great ultrasound!!! So glad you got to hear that blessed hearbeat and know all is well! I hope you can begin to feel some relief now. How did your appointment with your midwife go? 

 

Boozheemama, oh, first... a big ((( hug ))) for you! Your poetic description of your fear and sadness is so palpable. My heart is really going out to you. Damn, I hate those tests. I'm sorry they sent it to you even when you didn't request it, how thoughtlessly bureaucratic of them (my hospital recently sent me an invitation to participate in a study of menopausal women, which sent me into a small rage). I remember well the fear that I felt the last time I had a bad test... it was an ultrasound, I was about to start a round of injectable drugs, and the u/s showed that I had zero follicles. My RE said, "You're starting a new cycle today! Except (peering into the u/s screen)... you're NOT." I was dismissed from the ART program and went home feeling a kind of fear I'd never felt before except in dreams... a suffocating fear, as if I was being buried alive or had just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I cried and cried and cried (including at the edge of the Pacific ocean, which is conveniently close to my house). I did that for days, and at the end, at the bottom of my emptiness I felt peace flowing in. It was at that point that I began to explore alternative ways to take charge of my fertility, and began to feel hope again. I'm sure you know this, but there are natural ways to change those numbers... i.e., wheatgrass can lower FSH. And you know, my RE was wrong about that cycle... I did ovulate that month. The tests are only one way of peering into the mystery and they are not perfect! I hope you can find a way to get all the fear and sadness out and feel peace coming to you. Thinking of you!

 

Moona, wow, thank you for that fantastic description of what worked for you, I truly truly appreciate it! :-) I love your attitude and your path. Your words have been resonating deeply in my heart/mind since I read them, it feels like there is some true wisdom in there. I have been hearing from many directions about the LOA books, and I'd really like to get my hands on them. May I ask you more about how you let go of fear? That's the thing that's puzzling me right now. I feel like I already have a lot of positive stuff going on in my inner landscape (i.e., I feel a true kinship with pregnant women and new mothers and often visualize myself having that experience). But I can't shake the fear that co-exists with the hope. How exactly did you let go of it? What do you think helped you? Was it focusing on the these other things in your life (creativity, nurturing your family, etc.)? Did they fill the well and chase away the anxiety? I'd love to hear more if you'd like to share more with us! 

 

WaturMama, well you and I truly are cycle buddies, as AF came a knockin' for me the same day she did for you. It was an intense cycle for me, too, and I'm still not really sure why. I think partly it's because I had high hopes for the tinkering I was doing (soy, progesterone cream, etc.). I keep telling myself it's okay and maybe even good to be riding that wave of hope, even if it does come crashing down. Thank you for your advice about infection/heat and antibiotics... I ended up feeling I wanted to take them, but then my UTI went away on its own. I love that story about your DS and the name and that experience opening you up to the possibility of a DS2. I put a lot of symbolic stock into these types of narratives, too. Even if I end up feeling foolish for having done so, I think it's just human nature... we are sense-making creatures who seek meaning everywhere, whaddaya gonna do? Good things spring from that. I'm sorry that your experience of this cycle lessened the excitement about adoption for you, but it certainly makes sense emotionally... I imagine it's difficult to throw your heart in both directions at once. ((( hug ))) How is it going with DS and nursing? I know there was a long discussion earlier in this thread about BF and m/c and wondering if you can possibly increase your fertility if/when your DS chooses to stop? I too felt an affinity with child-led weaning, but ended up weaning DD myself when she was 3 so that she could spend a full 24 hours away from me with her father (from whom I was separated). It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, still breaks my heart to think of that process. Yet, my relationship with DD did not suffer and she seemed as happy and attached as ever.

 

Kristin, *thank you* for that lovely, cheering quote about women over 45 and unintended pregnancies. Now *that's* one statistic that makes me smile! I'm sorry your cycle was confusing to you this month! I hope you can get back on track with your herbs.

 

Purplefish, I'm sorry your upcoming visit with your sister is creating stress for you, but it sounds like you've found good coping mechanisms. You can borrow my golden shield visualization tool if you like! It protects me from confrontations with the difficult members of my family. :-)

 

Fuller2, so glad you are still healing well from the surgery and sounding great! I'm glad to know that about uterine polyps, an increase from 28% to 63% is impressive!

 

Maya, thank you for the advice on progesterone, I did end up letting nature take its course, which I too feel was the best thing. I think I'll just do that all around this month, no soy, no progesterone at all. Sorry that you're experiencing spotting, have you been able to get it checked out?

 

Karalina, thank you for the DHEA article, very helpful! I'm sorry that having those low moments. ((( hug ))). I empathize with the feeling of wanting to beg, plead and bargain with a higher power. I think the idea of focusing on getting healthy and fit for your whole self (not necessarily just for your fertility) sounds really positive. I'm thinking about that, too... I used to be a runner and that has gone by the wayside during my baby-chase... mostly because I have been advised first by my RE and then by my acupuncturist to practice gentler forms of exercise (and also now because I'm out of shape and cardiovascular exercise is a struggle). But boy, would I like to have that back in my life... to be able to chase DD around and not be winded and exhausted, to feel fit and sexy and alive again, to be able to call upon the peace, joy and strength that a running practice brings me... 

 

Gumblossom, I love love love what your acupuncturist said to you, "what's the hurry?" *Thank you* for sharing that with us. My mother said that to me when DH and I first saw an RE and started exploring ART. I somewhat impatiently (to my regret) explained to her about the dreaded statistics, that every month counted, that we would be wasting our time trying naturally, yadda yadda. Ha! It all seems really naive and controlling and Type A to me now. And I honestly feel that my chances trying naturally (if I'm not in a hurry) are as good if not better than with ART.

 

Welcome, Chichimamma!

 

AFM, well, I feel I've said it all already. The only interesting thing to add is that my acupuncturist has reached out to me in a lovely way. She practices energetic healing on the side, and has offered me one free session, noting that she feels I have some emotional blocks to conceiving. I had mixed feeling about it... still not really sure why... I think I just have a natural skepticism and irreverent streak that makes it difficult for me to embrace the unknown without doing a lot of thinking and research about it. There is no evidence-based research that I can find about the particular kind of healing she practices, and so it becomes a leap of faith. But, the spirit in which she has offered this to me feels very nurturing and good. I think I'm going to take her up on it, and enter it with a heart and mind open to the mystery. And if she can get that one reluctant bit of energy on board, well... great! 


Edited by LitMama - 3/12/11 at 9:04am
post #384 of 522

First--- YAY YAY YAY for you Saiorse!!! Great news!!!!! I'm thrilled for you!!!!

 

LitMama- what a wonderful response you gave to everyone- i wish i had the energy and wherewith-all (sp?) to write like that.

 

I would love to know your golden shield visualization- I think Buzzer could have used it  recently- right?

And a friend of mine I went to the sand mandala with- when i told her about not getting pregnant- she said she had and amazing ENERGY HEALER that I should go to-- and she gave me her #. I think I'll go too-

 

and my older sister is ALWAYS asking me- What's the hurry?? Give yourself the gift of time-"  so i think i will-

 

I have an appt with an endocrinologist (sp?) on Monday who can test my hormones, thyroid and adrenals and offers natural ways of balancing them- and my insurance pays! I am SO excited!!!  I am going to get my energy back- and start exercising and losing weight and living my life fully- if a baby comes with all that and ttc every month- it will be great. if not- i can't continue to sacrifice the days i have now with my three beautiful ones and my DH in hopes of conceiving. Plus- maybe something is so off in those hormones that I'm not able to conceive? who knows but i want to find out!!!

BTW- my 3yo had a killer painful ear ache in both ears and with 2 days of homeopathic and natural meds and lots of love- he is almost all better. It can be done! Meanwhile my 10 yo came home form school with 102 temp and a virus he caught there- and with no advil or tylenol- just the fever doing its thing- he is well on his way to healing -- just thought I'd throw that in- the body's amazing way to heal and care for itself when properly supported.

 

 

 Love to everyone----  

post #385 of 522

Karalina, Oh, gosh, I just can't help myself... I'm just an in-born (and professional) reader/writer/researcher. It's all I can do to hold myself back from spending all day researching the issues brought up here and writing 60-page replies to everyone. I must try to control myself better, tee hee! :-)

I'm glad to know your friend had a good experience with energy healing, yay! If you go too we can compare notes.

I'll see if I can find the web site for you where I found the golden shield visualization exercise, it was full of other good visualizations, too.

Have a beautiful weekend!

BTW, you are next in line for the goddess, no? She treated me well this month and I'm ready to send her your way. PM me your address and I'll get her off to you!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karalina View Post

 

LitMama- what a wonderful response you gave to everyone- i wish i had the energy and wherewith-all (sp?) to write like that.

 

I would love to know your golden shield visualization- I think Buzzer could have used it  recently- right?

And a friend of mine I went to the sand mandala with- when i told her about not getting pregnant- she said she had and amazing ENERGY HEALER that I should go to-- and she gave me her #. I think I'll go too-


 

post #386 of 522

Congratulations Saorise!!!! Wooohoooo That's such great news. May the rest of the pregnancy be worry free!!!!

 

 

To add insult to injury I just picked up my mail and in it was a bill from LAbcorp for a whopping $298 for a PAP and apparently HPV test. I am so pissed I swear the receptionist told me my PAP would be done in the lab in their building and I paid for it when I paid my $272 doctor's exam. And why would they deem it necessary to do an HPV test? I remember her saying oh there could be another charge if the doctor thinks it's necessary to do an HPV test but I didn't think much of it and due to my hearing loss didn't catch everything she said. I have no clue why they would deem it necessary to do an HPV I have had the same partner for 20 years. So my annual physical just cost me over $500.00 and I have been hesitating scheduling the initial consult at the ART clinic because of the $300.00 initial feel. what a waste I should have put the $ toward the trip my dd wants to take to Disney. 

 

I need the Golden Shield for my family too so if you can find that website please do share Litmama. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. Today, I realized I did not have the FP herbs I needed to start today. Oversight on my part it will be mid week before I can get them.

 

We took dd to the St. Pat's Parade and on the way home we stopped for dinner and I slammed the car door on her poor little hand (luckily I didn't push it hard and she is good to go). She fell asleep on the way home and we woke her to ask if she wanted to go see a movie. She woke up looking dazed and then suddenly started vomiting. She threw up three times before we could pull over. Poor kid she has rarely gotten sick in her life. This was a doozy. She seems good now, was asking for guacamole a few minutes ago. I convinced her that it might be better to start off with toast until we figure out if she has a bug or just a sick tummy. Tomorrow will bring good luck.


Edited by Kristin0105 - 3/12/11 at 4:16pm
post #387 of 522

Testing negative and no symptoms so I shall be joining you ladies again.

post #388 of 522

hug2.gif

post #389 of 522

Hi ladies!

 

I'm new to the site, and I just turned 40!  My SO and I are trying to conceive our first for both of us. I've learned a lot from the different sites I've joined and I can't wait to get my BFP! I just hope I haven't waited too long. crap.gif

post #390 of 522

Purplefish, I'm so sorry ((( hug ))). Thinking of you.

post #391 of 522

Kristin, what a day you had! Grrrrr.... I feel angry on your behalf at your doctor's office! I hope your DD is feeling better. I once slammed my DD's finger in the car door and even though her finger was so tiny it did not get squished (there was an air pocket in the door that saved her), I felt really awful for the longest time. Re: the golden shield visualization, darn... I can no longer find it, should have bookmarked it. It's very simple, though... I simply visualize a strong and beautiful golden shield that repels all slings and arrows and protects me from all harm. Great for difficult discussions with any of my critics (whether doctors or family members). There are lots of great visualizations on the web if you search for them. I like these that I just found while searching for the golden shield (but they are fertility-focused, not about protection):

 

http://www.fertilitymoon.com/fertility-meditation.html

http://infertility-fertility.blogspot.com/2009/08/visualization-for-fertility.html

 

Welcome, Shelley!

post #392 of 522

Hello Ladies

I know I don't post much but wanted to tell you that I have received inspiration from you all. Congratulations to those with a BFP and hugs to those with recent losses. I have some good news for me. I just got a BFP at 10dpo! I am 12 dpo today and the line is darker. It makes me nervous to post this but I am so excited I wanted to share the news with someone. I will be 41 next month and run 50-60 mpw.I just got my first PPAF in Jan and the LP was 10 days. The next cycle its was 11 days and then I got my BFP. I am nursing my 2yo old who nurses quite a bit still.  I don't know if this helped my fertility but I just started juicing and become essentially a vegan 6 weeks ago (after reading the China Study).

My best to you all

Nicolesmile.gif

post #393 of 522

While nobody knows me here (been kind of an occasional lurker), I wanted to share this info  before I get called away from the PC.   I used to kind of lurk, reading your stories & hoping with all of you since I'm in the same boat.

 

I'm 41, have a 26 month old - still nightime b-feeding, cosleeping, etc. Been TTC since my first PP period over a year ago but my luteal phase was way too short. Previous to getting preg with my son I always ovulated on day 14 or so & had a 14 day LP.

 

I did lots of research on DHEA. .Started taking 25mg/day in the am as of Jan 1st. Also took vitex. After the first month I was amazed that my luteal phase jumped from 11/12 days to a full 14 days.  The next month (Feb, I ovulated on day 15 instead of 17/18 as I previously had.  That cycle I got a BFP.

 

So, 6 weeks of 25 mg daily made my 41 year old eggs good enough and fixed my cycle (I originally thought it was the vitex but now I don't think so).

 

Anyway, for what it's worth I wanted to share.

 

Cresmoon

 

post #394 of 522

Welcome out of lurkdom ladies and congratulations on your BFP's. It looks like we are on a roll recently. 

 

Purplefish sorry about your negative. Hopefully, this was a sign of increasing fertility and the next one will be the one for you. Hugs.

 

Looks like my TCM lady really has be back on track. I have great fertility signs this month (best in months and months) and a positive OPK so whiel I may be ovulating a little earlier than normal I am still ovulating!!! Yay. I am hoping this is the month of course but know I need to give this a few months to make any improvements to the eggs. 

Tomorrow is dh birthday making a baby sounds like a great way to celebrate one's 47th birthday! LOL!

I hope everyone is doing great this weekend. 

 

 

post #395 of 522

Congrats Cresmoon & Eonjourney! I just got an email the other day from my 42 year old cousin: she's pregnant, a surprise and her first! So maybe something's in the air...or maybe it's Spring. I have always wondered whether there are more pregnancies certain times of the year than others. 

post #396 of 522

Wow! All these 40ish PGs give me lots of hope! I think I'm out this cycle, but since it's my first TTC, I'm not going to get too upset about it.

post #397 of 522

Just learned it's a super full moon tonight seems like a good time for babies!

post #398 of 522

Ladies~

Hugs to all--I've been away on vacation and feeling so out of touch....even though I am more of a lurker than a poster!  Great to see more Abraham-Hicks shared here.  LOA (Law of Attraction) really works for me! 

 

I wanted to share something that I received in response to an enquiry to a Fertility nurse who works for a nutritionally-savvy fertility practice here in WA state.  I asked about their protocols for their clients--it looks very similar to my Primal diet. (www.marksdailyapple.com)

 

From Darcy Hemstad, R.N.:

We use vitamin D council's Vitamin D recommendations. www.vitamindcouncil.org

Sometimes we jump start low levels by using a normal sunshine dose of 10-20,000 IU per day for a few weeks, then go on maintenance dose of 2000 IU/day. Recheck level after 6 weeks.
 
WAPF diet is good especially for the fat nutrients that are missing in our modern diet. Cod liver oil/butter oil form Green Pastures. We've had great success with these and adding in lots of pastured butter like Kerrygold Irish butter or whatever they can find- raw farm butter would be great. Virgin coconut oil.....
 
See Harvard Fertility Diet study of over 18,000 women.  Look at summary from the study as their book has much subjective added in: Full fat, about half your protein from animal and half from plant, no low fat dairy of any kind, ice cream twice weekly! vegies and low glycemic fruit (whole grain if you must)
 
We use low-glycemic diet, plus exercise of at least 30-60 minutes daily- walking is sufficient.
post #399 of 522

Hello, everyone!

 

Litmama, you are so generous in your responses to everyone and I always love them. I am glad to know how much you like writing them. DS is back to his little bit of regular nursing in the morning. it feels right to me for him, and fine for me when I am not thinking I might be pregnant. I feel very conflicted about this. He has a sophisticated vocabulary, so he is often treated older than he is. I feel like this is a way he gets to be little. But I can imagine having all my energy for pregnancy would be good. I'm not sure where this will land just now.

 

Welcome EonJourney and Cresmoon, and congratulations and stickysticky wishes, EonJourney!!

 

(((hug))) Purplefish.

 

lovestolearn thank you for the food info. That makes sense to me--and love the free ticket to ice cream 2x/week!

 

AFM, I am CD13. I saw my fertility specialist again last week to check in. We went over the options and what might be worth the money, considering everything seems to be working, we just don't seem to be getting a lucky egg and sperm together. The only option that really made sense to me for the money was taking a drug that would make me produce more eggs per month--basically so we'd have more possibilities each month. He said the chances of me having a multiple pregnancy at my age was about zero. (Boy, do I have mixed feelings about that statement--relief & stress at the same time!) The drug he would recommend is Femara/Letrosol, which is not approved for this use by the FDA. It is a drug for people with prostate cancer. It lowers estrogen. It would make the difference between estrogen and FSH larger for the few days I took it and that would cause more follicles to develop--probably 2-3. It takes 48 hours to clear from the system. I'd probably need to stop nursing, at least during that time. I did not discuss the nursing with the doctor, because I didn't feel like dealing with whatever issues he might have with it--not my most enlightened moment. While more egg chances appeals, altering my hormones makes me and dh a bit nervous. So I'm gathering more information.

 

Also, time to update my age to forty-four and feeling fabulous.

post #400 of 522

I just wanted to quickly mention that I was eating whole yogurt and milk (alot of milk) when I got pg-because that is what I feed my kids and def can not afford to buy seperate low fat for myself;

 

Funny to read "Can't afford" on an over 40 board- yes, over 40 and not a pot to piss in...a product of my misspent youth...lol  travelled and played way to much...but I am so glad that I don't feel like I missed anything in life :)

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