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Fabulous 40++TTC. New Year and New Hopes - Page 4

post #61 of 522
Halifax joy.gif enjoy being pregnant wink1.gifjoy.gif Congrats!!!!

Yes, I am 44, and am actuaslly kind of excited about this month, I don't know why with the stats and all. We will see what happens. If we didn't get pregnant, it would be fine. I am apathetic, but growing into acceptance, it's just hard to work next to a 30 something woman who is TTC her 2nd after conceiving on the 1st try with her DS. If she gets preggo soon/right away, it will be hard, but need to be happy for her. She was one who quoted stats of downs to me when I told her how long we had been trying (nice)
post #62 of 522

Congratulations Halifax! Great news. Embrace your pregnancy and try to relax. I know it will be hard.

goodvibes.gif

 

Although I lost our little one, I am still very, very grateful to have carried him/her for the 8 weeks that I did. I got pregnant, and I can again, and it could be the golden egg this time! Of course I still need to convince my DH, but I'm feeling there might just be a glimmer of hope there.

 

Please don't say 44 is too old.I'm 44 too!

 

Why do people have to quote stats to women who are ttc?The last thing we need is negativity! Only positive affirmations for me thanks! Good luck and love and baby dust to all!

post #63 of 522
I don't think it is too old, I just have had the wind out of my sails by taking certain comments to heart greensad.gif My mom even tells me that she knows a woman in her church who didn't even start having kids till she was 40, and now has at least 3, so it is not too old. I know she is not the only one.

I didn't mean to make anyone feel bad greensad.gif
post #64 of 522

Congratulations Halifax! Great news. Embrace your pregnancy and try to relax. I know it will be hard.

goodvibes.gif

 

Although I lost our little one, I am still very, very grateful to have carried him/her for the 8 weeks that I did. I got pregnant, and I can again, and it could be the golden egg this time! Of course I still need to convince my DH, but I'm feeling there might just be a glimmer of hope there.

 

Please don't say 44 is too old.I'm 44 too!

 

Why do people have to quote stats to women who are ttc?The last thing we need is negativity! Only positive affirmations for me thanks! Good luck and love and baby dust to all!

post #65 of 522

Halifax,  I am hoping and praying so hard for a happy and healthy pregnancy for you! 

post #66 of 522

hug2.gifBelovedK. Bleah to the officemate situation. Sending a forcefield of niceness, consideration, and wisdom to surround you. All unthoughtful comments will bounce off! My TCM practitioner tells me she has plenty of patients in their 20s and 30s that have much worse fertility situations than mine. Not to wish younger people problems, but it reminds me of what I can be grateful for and that we are all individuals.

 

This thread is hot today!

post #67 of 522


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LitMama View Post

Stealthee,

 

It sounds like you did everything I'm trying to do for #2 (my #1 was easy-peasy, in my 30s). When you're not too busy chasing your LO around, would you mind sharing some details on some of the changes you made? I'd love to hear what supplements you took, what kind of tools/resources you used for yoga, massage and visualization (books, CDs, DVDs, classes?) . And what other lifestyle changes did you make?

 

I'm on that path but just beginning... in November I made big dietary changes and began taking a bunch of supplements. But I have yet to incorporate anything else and am feeling the need for guidance in that area.

 

Many thanks, mama!


Heehee!  LitMama has given me permission to babble at length about my TTC strategy.  blahblah.gif

 

I highly, highly recommend The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis.  She uses a Traditional Chinese Medicine perspective and there's a chapter dedicated to women over 35 TTC.  I did a lot the things she suggested including: supplementing with L-arginine, DHEA, super-greens and a good prenatal vitamin (of course),  doing femoral massage two time a day, daily acupuncture/acupressure and qi gong breathing.  I also took a Chinese herbal formula that was designed specifically for me by a qualified herbalist.  I cut down to one cup of coffee a day and drank gallons of green tea.  I moderated my alcohol intake and quit smoking.  (Yes, I smoked 10-20 cigarettes a day for 20 years and STILL had at least one good egg at age 40!)  Otherwise, my diet has always been pretty healthy (trying to compensate for all the late nights, caffeine, nicotine and alcohol), so I didn't make too many changes there.

 

I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler and charted with Fertility Friend.  During my fertile window I used Instead Cups and made sure to O after DH. (Very sexy, huh?)

 

I kept a pretty regular general yoga practice and started to include fertility yoga as well.  I think you just bought the same DVD that I used, Fertility Yoga with Dr. Monica Morell?  I love yoga.  I don't know how much it contributed to my successful pregnancy, but it kept me sane during some very difficult times. 

 

Okay, and this is the part where I'm going to go a bit airy-fairy on you, I read a book called Ask and It Shall be Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks.  It's about the Law Attraction and offers several different methods to "raise your vibration" in order to attract the things that you want into your life.  There were a couple of points that spoke to me including: living in gratitude and allowing good things to come to me.  So, I did two (modified) exercises from this book everyday.  One, I would think about and feel grateful for what I had.  Two, I would do my best to think of nothing for 15 minutes.  If I remember correctly, the point of the latter exercise was based in the idea that since the universe is an infinite stream of positive energy which we either allow or resist, just being neutral is good enough to allow that stream to flow.  Something like that, anyway, I'm no expert on Law of Attraction theory.   And like yoga, I found these exercises to be good for my general well being.  You can't feel sad when you feel grateful.  Like Kristin already said.

 

As for my DH, he stopped drinking altogether for about a year and then only very occasionally which probably made the difference in his swimmers' motility. 

 

I hope it doesn't sound like DH and I are a couple of drunks!  To our defense, we live in Europe and social life largely revolves around drinking.  And, umm, we used to be very sociable people. 

 

Anyway, that's all I can think of right now. I hope that there's some useful info here for someone.

post #68 of 522
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post

If she gets preggo soon/right away, it will be hard, but need to be happy for her. She was one who quoted stats of downs to me when I told her how long we had been trying (nice)


 Just read this post thoroughly-   she quoted Down Sydrome stats to you??? Not sure how I would react to that, exactly, but I know that people were concerned for me at my age when I was pg. Of course only a few  people IRL knew I had a 23 yo egg. It is something we need to think about tho... the two friends I have with DS kids were in their 30s.

post #69 of 522


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzer Beater View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK View Post

If she gets preggo soon/right away, it will be hard, but need to be happy for her. She was one who quoted stats of downs to me when I told her how long we had been trying (nice)


 Just read this post thoroughly-   she quoted Down Sydrome stats to you??? Not sure how I would react to that, exactly, but I know that people were concerned for me at my age when I was pg. Of course only a few  people IRL knew I had a 23 yo egg. It is something we need to think about tho... the two friends I have with DS kids were in their 30s.

People expressed many concerns about Downs during my last pregnancy (at 37) in trying to convince me to get an amnio. I told them I wouldn't terminate anyway. Also, I know three couples who have Downs kids and they are great kids. Funny, happy, smart.

 

Interestingly, more Down's syndrome kids are born to people in their 20s, not because they are higher risk, but because they have more babies. Makes sense statistically.

post #70 of 522

Halifax congratulations. I understand your desire to hold back and protect yourself in case. But as Waturmama said you are pregnant! I hope you are able to enjoy it. You are very fertile. I hope this is the sticky one for you. I'll be sending you positive vibes!

post #71 of 522

I dont care about statistics. I started this mothering career when i was 'elderly gravida' (37) and felt very old then, and felt it was my last good egg. I refused the amnio because i knew i wouldnt abort anyway. Then when i was 40, i refused to wean my ds (then under 2) and knew that i had less than 1% chance of conceiving, even if not breastfeeding. Well, i conceived on the first try, gave birth at 41. Everything fine. I refused an amnio then too.

 

The only thing that has changed this time, is my personal experience of not conceiving. If i had less than 1% chance of conceiving when i was 40, then what are my odds now? They are even lower. But what could be lower than 'less than 1%'??

 

Yes, im less confident after almost a year of ttc'ing. But that is my personal experience, not statistics.

 

I remember my friend panicking because she was about to turn 30, and figured it would too late to conceive if she didnt  have a baby right then and there. I even looked into freezing my eggs when i was 32. Such a pity the technology wasnt reliable then. 

 

post #72 of 522

Contactmaya, where did you get that statistic - a 1% chance at age 40? I thought it was 5%? Anyway, you (and I and everyone else here) are not stats, we are people with many variables affecting our chances. I believe many of the statistics are taken from fertility clinics so I think they are skewed. Perhaps if stats were collected in third world countries, or very Catholic countries, they would be different.

 

When I was 41 and ttc, I spoke to an Irish midwife( now living in Australia) who said that in her work in Ireland she delivered babies to the over 40's all the time. She felt that the reason women in their 40's had poor looking stats was because many women in their 40's in the west choose  not to conceive. Also the highest rates of abortion are in the under 20's and over 40's (at least in Australia they are).

 

Stealthee - you are I have the same favorite fertility books! I also love Julia Indichova's Inconceivable.

 

I write in a Gratitude journal everyday, thanking the Universe for all I have and will have. It helps me stay positive and affirms my goals.

 

My DH seems to be softening to the idea of ttc again, which is great. I'm feeling positive and not ready to throw in the towel yet.

post #73 of 522

Hi All-

So excited for you, Halifax. I am praying this is the one for you.

When I was pg before I m/c recently, people would say the stats for Downs to me- I looked up some articles and Dr. Sears was the most reassuring one-- I cannot find the article right now but he said if your chances of DS were 1 in 30-- that means that you have a a 97% chance of having a healthy pregnancy.  It was all in how you look at the numbers. I will find it and post it.

 

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/1/T011304.asp  about being "older"

 

and

 

http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/7592130-fertility-after-forty-by-susun-s-weed

about being older---
 

 an article my midwife sent me--

 

AFM- It's my 45th birthday today! Instead of feeling downtrodden about it- I actually feel inspired- like "Hey, I better get on with my dreams!" and another baby is my dream. : ) 

Love to all of you- my DH and sweet boys have a cake and dinner waiting for me. 
 

 

post #74 of 522

 Here it is :

 

How frequently does Down Syndrome occur?

Down Syndrome (formerly called mongolism), named after Dr. Langdon Down, who described these children in 1866, occurs in one out of seven hundred births. The chance of having a Down Syndrome baby increases with the age of the mother.

  • Women under age 23—1 in 2,000 births
  • Women at age 30—1 in 1,300 births
  • Women at age 35—1 in 400 births
  • Women at age 40—1 in 90 births
  • Women at age 45—1 in 32 births
  • Women at age 50—1 in 8 births

Depending on how they are presented, these figures can be scary. If a doctor says to a mother, "At age thirty-five you have five times the chance of having a Down Syndrome baby than you did at age twenty," that would scare many senior mothers from conceiving. Here's how I present the risk factors to my patients who ask. At age twenty you had a 99.95 percent chance of not delivering a baby with Down syndrome; at age thirty-five your chances of not delivering a baby with Down Syndrome are 99.75 percent. Doesn't that figure sound more reassuring? This is why, in my opinion, the "thirty-five-year-old scare" is too young, forty-five perhaps? Even at age forty-five you have a 97 percent chance of delivering a baby without Down Syndrome. So, for mothers of later childbearing age, these figures are looking up.

Source: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T107400.asp

post #75 of 522

partytime.gifHappy Birthday, Karalina!!!!partytime.gif

 

Yes, I always find those stats are a lot less threatening when I flip them around.

post #76 of 522

There are three kinds of commonly recognised untruths:

Lies, damn lies and statistics.
- Mark Twain

 

I also love that Dr. Sears included the statistics for women at age 50.  :)

post #77 of 522

So if i am 45, i need to have 32 babies, and one of those babies will have down syndrome?

Thats a lot of babies. :-)

 

Where did i get those statistics? I dont remember. All i know is, that for me the odds are even lower-a) im single, b)i was breastfeeding almost fulltime at the time

post #78 of 522

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Karalina. Looks like there are a few of us Capricorns on here.

 

Still no o for me. but O pains like actually kind of hurts at times. Wondering  if it's a cyst...... I guess we shall see.

post #79 of 522

Thanks everyone for your warm wishes. Taking things one day at a time and will try my best not to let the bad thoughts in. I am so very happy to be pregnant again and have another chance. Trying my best to enjoy my day off before a long stretch at work starting tomorrow...I wish I had a few more days off, but I suppose work will help keep me distracted a bit, which is a good thing. Some days I love my job, but sometimes it is very stressful and very tiring, things I would prefer to be avoiding right now. Hope everyone is having a good day. Cold and gray here after a winter's storm yesterday.

post #80 of 522

Kristin, i dont know that O pains signify something is wrong. I always get O pains, sometimes worse than others. I worry when i dont get them :-)

Some women experience them more than others, and some cycles more than others. You know yourself best though.

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