Need help setting a bedtime

[lunarlady]

DD1 is 4 years old, and seriously never sleeps. She sleeps in our room, on a separate pallet. She no longer naps. Lately she is staying up as late as I, sometimes even later. She got a little flashlight for Christmas, and sometmies looks at books or toys with it past the time I fall asleep at 10 pm. I've woken to nurse the baby and discovered her awake at 11 pm. She rang in the New Year with us at midnight, and still didn't want to sleep! She wakes up by 7:30 or so every morning, but is frequently up by 6. So she is only sleeping less than 9 hours each day, and sometimes as little as 7 hours. I keep hearing that sleep is vital to children's health, but am at a loss on how to get her to go down earlier. Any suggestions or books I should consider? Thanks!

[elisheva]

Can you tell from her behavior that she needs more sleep? I think some kids really don't need as much as books will tell you today. That said, I was a kid (and now am an adult) who couldn't put her book down and I've paid for it many-a-time... 

I was often reading because I didn't want to be alone. Even though she's on a pallet in your room, might she be a little afraid of the dark or of still being separated even by a little bit? Is there something else you can do to ease her into sleep? My DH cuddles our ds4yo to sleep - they talk and tell stories and he eventually drops off (ds4yo drops off to sleep, too ;). The key we found with ds is that the lights have to be off and no tv/radio noise nearby. After ds is asleep, DH sometimes turns the nighttable light on to read for a bit.

[lunarlady]

We coslept with her until she was about 2.5 yo. At that point she transitioned into her own big girl bed in her room. But when DD2 arrived, she wanted to be in with us. Since two adults and two kids was too much for our little bed, we made her up a pallet on the floor right next to the bed and she seems to think that is alright, but i wish we could squeeze us all into a family bed. My DH had tried putting her to bed with snuggled, but usually he drops off to sleep and she gets bored and gets up. . I don't want to force her to stay in bed or anything so draconian, but i do want her to get all the sleep she needs.

Honestly, I can't tell that she is overly tired. She has always been a high energy, willful, and independent child. She gets a little cranky in the late evening (around 9) but otherwise goes all day without stopping. The only times i can get her down earlier are if we had a particularly high energy day, like six hours at the zoo. My brother only sleeps about 5 hours a night, so maybe this sleeplessness is genetic. I wish it was me! I would get so many more things done if I only needed a few hours a night.