post #1 of 1
1/2/11 at 12:20am
Thread Starter 

Advice, suggestions, support, please!

 

I work overnight 3x/week- DH is a SAHD.

 

When I'm home, DS2 either bounces or nurses to sleep (~7:30pm), then we put him in the crib. He usually has a brief waking ~45 minutes later, requiring another short bouncing. Then he'll sleep til 12 (a "bad" night) or 3 (a "good" night). I'll usually try bouncing, but resort to nursing to get him back down. If I'm really sleepy or he's really resistant, I'll bring him into our bed and we'll nurse/cosleep for the rest of the night (waking btw 6:30 and 7:30, depending on DS1).

 

When I'm at work, DS2 bounces to sleep (maybe a little later, since he does bedtime routine with DS1 first), and then proceeds to wake every 20-45 minutes until DH gets exasperated/ready for bed himself (~11:30) and brings DS2 into our bed. They sleep there together, with maybe two more wakings, resolved with either cuddles or a bottle (rare), until DS1 gets up in the morning. Sometimes the last "evening" waking can last 2 hours- from 11-1 sometimes, where DS2 is either crying inconsolably, or just wide awake and playful.

 

So. II'm fairly comfortable with the arrangement when I'm home, partially because I'm better able to handle the fragmented sleep, and partially because I can always just offer nurses if nothing else is working. I do hate, however, that once DS2 is in our bed, he will not unlatch. I have to sleep in whatever contorted positions are necessary for him to nurse, which is annoying. Other than that, though, I'm ok.

 

DH, on the other hand, is fed up to the point of considering CIO, even though we agree it's not a good solution- he just doesn't know what else to do. He has high sleep needs himself, and though I try to give him naps and mornings to sleep in and "nights off" it doesn't seem to matter- the days after the nights I've been working everyone is miserable. (DH has to be "on" while I sleep for ~6 hours, caring for both boys (3y and 10m)). And he doesn't love cosleeping while I'm not there- DS1 fell out of bed once around this age, and DH is still scarred.

 

So far we've tried:

 

I try not to nurse DS2 to sleep- I pop him off while droswy and bounce him to sleep. But this only works while we're not cosleeping. And he's getting to big to bounce anyway. Plus, DH drops DS2 off with me in bed in the afternoons while I'm sleeping- DS2 nurses and we both nap together. So we haven't really removed the nursing to sleep association, though he does fall asleep this way sometimes.

Swaddling- DH still uses it while bouncing, I don't find it useful.

Lovey- no interest

Paci- no interest

Music/lights show- minimal use- he will lie down and watch it sometimes, while I stand near the crib, but this has never led actually falling asleep.

 

DS2 is not teething, not sick, no verging on any milestones that I know of...

 

I read and "done" NCSS, and have seen improvement, but minimal. Any other book recs? BTDT advice?

 

thanks to anyone still reading!

and TIA for your suggestions,

Lisa

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