I am just venting because there is no one else to complain to. ;) My SIL has been married to my brother for 10 years, so you'd think I'd be over this by now, but apparently not.
We have a very small family. We get together often, and some of us (coughdadcough) are rough around the edges, but everyone loves each other, jokes around, etc. SIL is very uptight. She has practically no sense of humor (that I can see, anyway). She has a rather chilly personality. And every since she had her child (who is now 2.5), it has gotten worse. It puts such a damper on family gatherings. We drive nearly 2 hours to go to my parent's house for dinner, and if she is in one of her moods, it brings a lot of negative energy to what would otherwise be a happy, lighthearted dinner.
I know she doesn't like my mom or dad. She has a lot of petty reasons, none of which are valid. She doesn't tell me she doesn't like them, but she always complains about them when I see her alone. I try to help her see their point of view, but it doesn't work. She started off very mainstream, and then became super-crunchy and now vegan. My parents are definitely not this way at all....my mom has been cooking comfort food for 60 years. But she has tried hard to accommodate, and it is never good enough. SIL is always changing what she can eat (this week no fish, this week no dairy but cheese and butter is ok, this week no gluten, this week no cheese, etc). My mom bought tofu thinking she could use it in a stir fry and SIL refused to eat it. Then SIL started offering to bring her own food (which I think is a good idea since she is so restrictive and the rest of us are not). My mom said sure, and makes side dishes she can eat (but she still won't eat them). But this seems to annoy SIL....she rants to me that she can't believe she has to bring her own food. I can only imagine how difficult it is going to get as her child gets older and is on an extremely restrictive diet (and not due to allergies or anything). I'm not knocking her diet or motivation, but if you are THAT restrictive then I think you need to assume you will be cooking for yourself.
That is just one example. It really goes on and on.
Anyway, the point is, I just want to slap her and my brother sometimes. He is very quiet and weak-willed when it comes to her (he doesn't agree with her, but he won't say a word to her). If anyone else (cousin, aunt) drops by while SIL is there, she leaves the room (and they are lovely people and very warm to her, so I have no idea what her problem is....is is most definitely NOT shy). We will all sit around the table talking and she will go sit in the livingroom with her child (he would be happy to sit with us by the way). Then we have to take turns going in to visit her. It is stupid! My mom tells her to come sit with us but she won't. I feel embarrassed when she acts this way in front of extended family.
If she comes out (if her kid wanders out to the table), she stands over by the wall with a sour look on her face. She will not smile ever. If anyone tries to joke with her, she won't even acknowledge or laugh. It seems so weird to me. I know she doesn't act like this with HER family (and they don't cook for her either). Since our family is so small, I just wish my brother had been smart enough to marry a different type of woman. This one is cold as ice.
Sorry for such a long rant! I just wanted to get that off my chest. I can't talk to her about it (she stonewalls....I've tried).