Winter IVF Thread - Come and join in on the Journey!!!! - Page 9

[Kewpie80]

Bellybean- Thanks.  Yes, we are very supportive of each other.  That is one good side effect of all of this (for us anyway) we are closer as a couple than I ever thought humanly possible. ...... I've heard that FET can be less successful too, but I read a thread recently on this forum talking about it and there were SO many women who were able to get pregnant using frozen embies.  One woman used embies that had been frozen for 10 years!  (and she had twins)  Sometimes I think that you just have to ignore the statistics and just go with your heart.  I feel that there is a higher power in control and your baby will come even if under supposed "less likely to work" circumstances.  It happens all the time!  Keep the faith!  HUGS!

Song- Oh honey, I so understand and know how you feel.  I have friends and family who get pregnant every time they wash their underwear in the same load and it's just heartbreaking to watch.  -especially when they follow that with asking if we're having sex correctly, ask us what we did to piss God off, constantly tell me how wonderful it is to be a mother and then proceed to keep handing me their bottle of breastmilk for "inspiration."  It can be cruel.  I just keep telling myself that if I had been able to get (and stay) pregnant right off the bat, I may not appreciate and have quite as strong of a bond with my future children.   I agree with primipara, it does help us to be more compassionate and help shape who we are as individuals.  In my case, it has been going on so long that my husband and I are SO close.  At times, it becomes almost comical... I'd rather laugh than cry any day.  Sending tons of hugs your way!

[rcr]

Song Just wanted to send you a too. I am sorry you are feeling down. I know how you feel. I never thought it would come to this - that I would be one of those women doing IVF, and everything that comes with it - shots, worrying, questions about what to do with unused embryos, etc... I never pictured myself in that light, but here I am. It is a strange place to be. As I was swallowing all my nightly pills last night I was thinking that between DH and I we have probably spent close to $2,000 on pills in the last year. That stuff isn't cheap - especially the stuff he is taking to improve his sperm. Sorry

Bellybean The stats about FET as well as IVF confuse me. When I look around here, I see a huge percentage of people getting pregnant, but then the stat that my RE told me for doing IVF was a 35% success rate. Why then does everybody seem to get pregnant? I don't get it. I am trying to keep my hopes under control too, but then I see just about everybody who does IVF get pregnant (I know staying pregnant is another story...).

Song - you said in your post that you wish AF would arrive so you could start stims. I am on BCP right now too. I was under the impression that I would be moving directly from BCP to stims, with no AF in between (although I could be wrong, my meeting to discuss the schedule is not until Monday, so I am just guessing). Is that normal?

[Kewpie80]

rcr- That sounds normal to me.  Last cycle, they put me on BCP, then when I started my AF, they did my first baseline u/s on the second day and then started stims... it was either that same day or a day or two after that.  

[rcr]

Ah. I see now. They have me stopping BCP three days before my calendar says to start stims. I guess AF is supposed to show up when I stop BCP. Thanks Kewpie.

[Kewpie80]

Yep, I forgot that part... the stopping of BCP.  Yeah, it all happens really close together... at least in my case.  HTH

[ratgrl]

Kewpie - I'm so sorry. I hadn't seen your loss until today. I've been there and boy, it's the lowest of lows. I also felt a need, almost a desperate need, after we lost our babies the first time to start again right away. It didn't lessen the hurt I felt over my failed cycle and lost babies, but having something to move towards, instead of just something to move away from, really helped me.

We are a FET success story, I'm almost 18 weeks now with our critter. It happens, and it happens often. I wish your REs weren't trying so hard to temper your expectations. Mine told me that really the only significant difference between fresh and frozen was the success of the thaw. So we initially intended to thaw and transfer two, but one of those didn't thaw properly, so we thawed 4, transferred 2. 

song - while I'm younger than you are, we struggled for close to three years with IF and the need to barrel forward just increased over time. I hope that you don't feel like you lost your window because you waited. You and DH are in the right place at the right time... without having a relationship as deeply developed as you have, the IF struggle feels almost insurmountable. The life you built together will help to create the family you both want.

Everyone else, hello :) I'm lurking. I haven't been spending much time on MDC in general. I still don't feel like I'm a part of my DDC, so I really don't participate. At nearly 18 weeks we are starting to seriously consider what we need to buy to prepare for a tiny person to join us. It was always so far off in a distant fog before that I never wanted to read about baby items or get my hopes up I guess. But now I'm this far in, don't have a bump yet and haven't felt movement... it still feels imaginary. We have our Level 2 scan on Wednesday, so maybe seeing critter moving on a screen will make it more real? 

[blueyezz4]

primipara - Would you like me to add you to the list??  Are you supressing or stimming or anything right now???  I know I read you are going to be doing a FET (there are a lot of us this time doing FETs it seems).  Anyways, welcome and I hope your stay here is short and sweet!!! 

ratgrl - So good to see your name again!!!  Keeping my fingers crossed for you U/S coming up!!  Let us know how it goes.  I know that 17 wk U/S is a fun one when they do all the measurements and can find out the sex if you want to know.  Just talking about it makes me want to get there again.  Anyways, good luck and it is always good to have graduates give advice.  The fact that you had success with a FET give me hope for ours. 

kewpie80 - forgot to answer your question on the last page.  Yes, things finally got moving for me maybe two weeks ago.  My hcg this past monday was 71 (surprised me thought for sure it would be 0 or below) so now i have to have another one done this coming Monday morning so we will see.  It better be 0 by then or i might start to wonder.  I think this past week I've really felt like my hormones have started to get back to normal... i know my body pretty well.  So we will see.

[rcr]

Originally Posted by blueyezz4 

; Yes, things finally got moving for me maybe two weeks ago.  My hcg this past monday was 71 (surprised me thought for sure it would be 0 or below) so now i have to have another one done this coming Monday morning so we will see.  It better be 0 by then or i might start to wonder.  I think this past week I've really felt like my hormones have started to get back to normal... i know my body pretty well.  So we will see.

When I had a m/c this summer (D&C), I didn't have my beta levels checked until after I had my first AF. We were planning to do iui with Femera that cycle, after I got AF, but it was canceled because my beta levels were still at 10. I thought that was impossible, because I had AF, but apparently you can get AF back and still have hcg left over.

[blueyezz4]

Originally Posted by rcr 

Originally Posted by blueyezz4 

; Yes, things finally got moving for me maybe two weeks ago.  My hcg this past monday was 71 (surprised me thought for sure it would be 0 or below) so now i have to have another one done this coming Monday morning so we will see.  It better be 0 by then or i might start to wonder.  I think this past week I've really felt like my hormones have started to get back to normal... i know my body pretty well.  So we will see.

When I had a m/c this summer (D&C), I didn't have my beta levels checked until after I had my first AF. We were planning to do iui with Femera that cycle, after I got AF, but it was canceled because my beta levels were still at 10. I thought that was impossible, because I had AF, but apparently you can get AF back and still have hcg left over.

Ughhhhh!!!!!  Not what I want to hear rcr, but thanks for sharing b/c I guess I really do need to know!  I'm still having spotting too, so who knows how long that will last.  I just keep hoping that the spotting will just turn into AF, but no luck yet!!!

[BellyBean]

Thanks for the encouraging words everyone.  It helps to know that we all have our ups and downs. 

My RE claims FET has half the success rate as IVF.  Based on my limited experience and interactions with one IRL friend and the lovely ladies here, it just doesn't seem to add up.   But maybe ratgrl is on to something.  If only half thaw well, then that could expain the difference.  I much prefer to look at it that way, and if it's true then I wish my RE would have explained it like that. 

Hoping and praying for all of us  

[rcr]

Originally Posted by blueyezz4 

Ughhhhh!!!!!  Not what I want to hear rcr, but thanks for sharing b/c I guess I really do need to know!  I'm still having spotting too, so who knows how long that will last.  I just keep hoping that the spotting will just turn into AF, but no luck yet!!!

Oops. I didn't mean for that to be a bad thing. I thought you were worrying about retained tissue, which would make your beta levels stay up. I was just trying to tell you that just because beta levels are up doesn't mean there is anything to worry about because they can stay up for a while. Sorry. I didn't mean to be a downer.

Bellybean I am no doctor, but I can't imagine that if an embryo makes the thaw process it would be much different than a fresh one. I don't understand the stats either.

AFM - this wait is way way worse than the normal tww that used to drive me nuts. I feel like I have been on bcp forever, and it has only been two weeks.

[blueyezz4]

rcr- Don't worry... it wasn't a bad thing.  When you found that your number was stuck at 10 did they do a repeat U/S at that time???  I know you said you had a D&C, but still.

[rcr]

Blue Nope. The RE didn't seem concerned about it at all. I wanted them to, because it seemed like a really long time to me. Plus, intuitive Jamie told me that she thought there were twins, but they found one pregnancy in the D&C (I have the chromosome analysis done, which told me that it was a boy, and no problems with the chromosomes), so I was worried that there was retained tissue from an undeveloped twin.

[songtothemoon]

Originally Posted by primipara 

But I try to be grateful for what we have, and the perspective this experience will give us--the chance to grow in dimensions of compassion. I truly believe we can learn from everything that happens to us in life. Your life sounds wonderful, and i am very grateful for my health (other than this) my wonderful husband, fascinating work, travel, loving family and friends, in a way that I would never be without this time of disappointment.

primipara - Thank you for your support and your eloquent words. I also believe in coming from a place of gratitude on a daily basis and from learning from life's twists and turns. This is allowing DH and I to grow as a couple and for us each to learn and grow from this experience. 

Blue - Hope AF comes for real very soon! Yes, the Lupron has been kicking my butt, more so, I think, now that I'm off the BCPs. I am feeling much more positive now. I gotta say, though, that I do not feel quite like myself on Lupron.

Kewpie - "If I had been able to get (and stay) pregnant right off the bat, I may not appreciate and have quite as strong of a bond with my future children." Yes, yes, yes!

rcr - Thanks for your support and encouragement! As for the BCPs, my RE said that it could take between 3-7 days to get my period after finishing BCPs (but still on Lupron). On day two of my period, I go in for bloodwork and ultrasound and begin stims. That's what we did last cycle--but didn't take BCPs, just Lupron. Also, great that you had chromosomal analysis done on your m/c and that there were no problems.

ratgrl - Congrats on being 18 weeks!!!!! Glad you stopped by. I don't blame you for taking things slowly w/your pregnancy and not feeling part of your DDC. Please let us know how your level 2 scan goes, ok? We are here for you! Thank you for your wise words. I do have a bit of that feeling of "missing our window," but I know things will work out.

bellybean - I'm inclined to agree with ratgrl and on the thawing. Once they've thawed, I think the chances are pretty similar. If anything, a successful thaw means the embryos are hearty and robust.

Question for all of you - Has anyone heard of/considered taking Saizen (Human Growth Hormone) while on stims?

I think we're going to try it. I mentioned it to my RE; he said it is coming back into vogue. Apparently, it helps embryos to mature. Our embryos matured well, but all 11 had chromosomal issues. However, I read up on it, and it can also help eggs to mature w/higher quality and embryos to mature w/higher quality--helps with the cell division (cleaving of cells), etc. If you've had a loss due to chromosomes (or suspected), it might be worth looking into...here's a link:

http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/content/20/9/2536.full

AFM - Doing much better emotionally! Thank you EVERYONE for your cyber-support and hugs. I don't have many people IRL I talk to about all this stuff, and I try to limit how much DH and I talk about it so we don't wear each other out, kwim?

On the physical side, I got a bad headache last night and still have it somewhat today. I think it is from the Lupron, though it came on quickly last night after a lot of sushi. I am also sneezing a lot today, so it may just be allergies--argh! But my spirits are good.

Also, when I vented, I forgot to mention that my SIL (well, fiancee-in-law) just gave birth via c-section a few days ago, so that was definitely affecting my spirits, DH's, too. However, I should only be happy for her because she had to do IVF w/ donor eggs and had been trying for 3-4 years. 

Two funny things:

One--check out the site:  www.999reasonstolaugh.com for reasons to laugh (instead of cry) at infertility. Very funny. The comments sections are good, too, because people share their personal experiences. It made me feel better about my reactions to day-to-day stuff, family reactions, etc.

Two-Last night after sushi, DH and I went to Petco. While in Petco, I got my bad headache and went to sit in the car, parked right in front of the store. DH and I live in Los Angeles, so celebrity sightings do happen. Anyway, I'm sitting in the car and can see people checking out at the registers up front. There is this tall man with long hair in a bright purple shirt. He tosses his head and flips his hair about. I think to myself--he looks familiar...who is that? 

It was FABIO! My DH came out first (Fabio must've been behind DH in line). DH hadn't noticed him. So, we're sitting in the car, just looking at FABIO through the front windows of Petco. I tried to take a photo of him when he came out of the store, but only got the back of his head. 

DH and I thought--well, it could be him, but it could just be some guy w/long hair...

Cut to today. I had a meeting with a creative partner of mine. I mentioned possibly seeing Fabio at Petco. Turns out, his best friend grew up near Fabio's house and he lives up in the hills near that Petco.

So, it definitely was FABIO. One of the funnier celeb sightings I've had. I've met plenty for work and such, but not FABIO!

Oh, he bought big sacks of dog food. 

Love to you all!!!

[blueyezz4]

Song - Glad you are feeling better!!!  Never heard of the growth hormone... hope someone else might be able to help you out there.  How cool that you saw Fabio in Petco!!

Bellybean - Our RE didn't tell us anything, as far as I can remember, about a FET success rate.  We will see.... I'm just going to try to stay positive and think sticky thoughts.

rcr - so how many more days of the bcp???

KristinaMarie- Monday is the big test day right?  How are you feeling?  Are you going to test early??? Sending you lots of positive vibes!!!!!!

Anyone have anything big (fertility wise or other) going on this week?  I feel like someone needs to be starting something here soon!!!!!

[BellyBean]

Ratgrl,  I forgot to mention that I never really felt like I was part of my DDC.  After being so heavily involved with the ladies in the infertility groups, the DDC interactions seemed more superficial.  Absolutely nothing against anyone, it's just that we share and support eachother in a way many others will never understand.  So stay as long as you want, even if you're just lurking, I know we all value your presence here.

Blue, I noticed I never answered one of your questions.  I am taking 1 mg of estradiol 2x a day.  My doctor did give me the choice between PIO and suppositories, and I am actually starting to consider the shots

rcr, I know EXACTLY what you mean!  I remember the BCP portion taking what seemed like a lifetime!  I think I am on day 3 of the estrogen and it already feels like a month   Hang in there, once the stims start it gets a lot better since your protocol will change so often and you start getting closer to ER. 

song, I haven't heard of using a HGH during IVF, but I find it very interesting!  Please continue to keep us posted.  We all become "experts" in different treatments options!

[blueyezz4]

Originally Posted by BellyBean 

Blue, I noticed I never answered one of your questions.  I am taking 1 mg of estradiol 2x a day.  My doctor did give me the choice between PIO and suppositories, and I am actually starting to consider the shots

BellyBean - Thanks for answering my question!!  I'm actually considering the Crinone vaginally this time... might regret it, but we will see.  I have a coupon so I'm hoping that will help with the cost.  My RE's nurse recommended it to me this time and said that a lot of women have been using it lately and really like it.  She said you just use it once a day (am) which she said helps with preventing issues (ie. buildup).  We used the shots last time to save money (Fresh cycle is so much more expensive then a FET) and they were fine at first, but then once we got to the week that we found out that we were pregnant they started to be really hurt more afterwards and the next day in the injection site area.  Also, we had to try and work the shot around our schedule which was kinda a pain in the butt (no pun intended).  So we will see.  We haven't even ordered meds yet b/c I'm just waiting for AF to show up so we have a better time frame of when it will all go down.  I'm guessing March.  Take care and thanks again for the info.

[Keria]

My clinic makes me do both the shots and the suppositories, if I had a choice i would definetely choose only the suppsitories alone.

I have BC pills and we are ready to start as soon as AF shows maybe tomorrow.

[ratgrl]

I think you know my feelings on Crinone already, hahaha... but if that's the way you choose to go, just make sure you dig around in there to get out the extra every morning before you put more in. 

Also, I have a bunch of Crinone left over, if you want it just let me know and I'll stick it in the mail.
 

Originally Posted by blueyezz4 

Originally Posted by BellyBean 

Blue, I noticed I never answered one of your questions.  I am taking 1 mg of estradiol 2x a day.  My doctor did give me the choice between PIO and suppositories, and I am actually starting to consider the shots

BellyBean - Thanks for answering my question!!  I'm actually considering the Crinone vaginally this time... might regret it, but we will see.  I have a coupon so I'm hoping that will help with the cost.  My RE's nurse recommended it to me this time and said that a lot of women have been using it lately and really like it.  She said you just use it once a day (am) which she said helps with preventing issues (ie. buildup).  We used the shots last time to save money (Fresh cycle is so much more expensive then a FET) and they were fine at first, but then once we got to the week that we found out that we were pregnant they started to be really hurt more afterwards and the next day in the injection site area.  Also, we had to try and work the shot around our schedule which was kinda a pain in the butt (no pun intended).  So we will see.  We haven't even ordered meds yet b/c I'm just waiting for AF to show up so we have a better time frame of when it will all go down.  I'm guessing March.  Take care and thanks again for the info.

[primipara]

That would be great if you could add me to the list.

I'm on Lupron right now, hoping to start estrogen this week for a FET sometime in February ( I hope!!!)