Have a poor sleeper and I feel so isolated

[LittleBirdy]

I know there are tons of people on here with poor sleepers, some worse than my own, so I shouldn't feel isolated but I don't know one person IRL who has the difficulties I do.  Sister's kids, all three EBF, all slept through the night by 3 months - no CIO.  SIL's kids, FF, all slept through the night by 4-5 months - no CIO.  Me & my sister?  Slept through the night from 2 months on - no CIO.  I have three friends who had babies the month before my DS was born.  THEY all sleep through the night.  I don't even want him to sleep through the night, he is only 5 months old, I just want him to stop waking up every hour or two!  The only person I know who had any trouble solved it by CIO at six months, which I just don't think I'm cut out for.

I just so wish I had a sister or a friend who had BTDT.  It would make me feel so much better.  My rational side knows it's not anything that I am doing or not doing, but I can't help but let the feeling creep in that I am not a good mother and that I'm doing something wrong!

Just needed to get that off my chest after three failed attempts to get DS to take a nap... bedtime is still five hours away and I'm already dreading it...

[jcent]

I am sorry you are having a tough time.  We have a poor sleeper as well, and only now, at 13 months, so I get one 3 hour stretch in the night.  the rest are still and hour or two.  Cosleeping, while not a miracle sure, has certainly made it easier on me.  At least when she wakes up, we just nurse.  On really bad nights, when she is up every 30-60 minutes, I tend to be awake a lot too, but other nights I get enough sleep to actually feel rested in the morning.  You and your LO will get there too!  It just takes time.  I think at 5 months with mine I sltill napped with her in the day time.  My house was a mess, but at least I was getting some rest. 

[RedPony]

:hug:  I so feel your pain.  I'm going on 4.5 years of not STTN, and that's not including the 9 months of my first pregnancy.  It's crazy, exhausting, and so so so old.  It's also a HUGE part of the reason why after three children, two surviving, I. am. done.  I cannot do this anymore!  I did get a few breaks in there.  My oldest started STTN at 3 years.  Finally.  My littlest was a terrific sleeper, with say consistent five hour stretches, for her first 6 months.  It was fabulous!  No longer, however.  Now I'm nursing her every hour or 90 minutes or less... it honestly sucks and I'm quite over it.  I've attempted nightweaning (gently) a few times and she's not receptive yet, so I dialed it back and I'm sucking it up.  :lol:  You can do this!  I nightweaned my oldest (gently) at 18 months with DH's help.  I was pregnant, exhausted, and had blisters.  Not fun.  We continued to nurse until she was 4 years old.  ;)  My littlest is 20  months and I'm quite certain we'll go just as far.  Hang in there! 

Also, remember that different people have different definitions of STTN!  Sometimes a it's a four hour stretch, sometimes it's more.  If this is your first baby, definately take advanatage of those daytime naps!!  I will say, it's much harder to nap at all now that I have two. I'm fortunate, however, to be a SAHM, so I can at least have downtime most days. 

[desireed]

Dear fellow mom,

You are not alone!  I have a 5 month old.  My first.  He has  never been a good sleeper.  But right now I feel like I'm going crazy.  A couple nights ago, I had a full on breakdown and had to hand him over to daddy while I cried hysterically into a pillow.  

Before, he would only sleep with me next to him.  I would not go to the bathroom, not drink enough water, skip dinner, so that I could get him the sleep he needed if he was behind.  Now, I'm even having a hard time nursing him to sleep. And he's not even sleeping well with me next to him. He thrashes around for atleast an hour first.  Then last night.  He woke up every hour or two and then! he woke up at 3:45AM, stayed awake until 7:15AM, then just slept 45 minutes more.  I have no idea what I am doing.  I'm not sure if I'm even making sense here.  But to conclude, I feel crazy, my son doesn't sleep well and you're not alone!  

d

[nola79]

You are not alone!

I, too, have a poor sleeper. She is 11 months, and I STILL have anxiety when nighttime rolls around. I actually sat here and cried last night b/c I just feel as if I'm at the end of my rope with her frequent wakings. I don't know what to do. (we had a good night last night, btw)

I hope it gets better for you, for all of us!

[bellytobelly]

Hello!  I just wanted to give you another "hug" of encouragement.  My mommy career started out with a DD that co-slept and brstfd, and never had sleep issues...even when she was sick.  But then came DS, aka, the child that doth not sleep.  He was a 101/2 pound baby, born able to hold up his head, crawled at 5 months, walked at 8 months. Those first several months I told myself that he was waking all the time b/c he was developing so fast, and surely it would slow down.  HA! At 17 mos he was still never sleeping longer than 2 hrs-and very rarely that long.  I was so sleep deprived I was constantly repeating myself and everything made me burst into tears!  Not pretty.  We tried food elimination diets, music/white noise, slinging to sleep, raw honey, dancing, chanting, praying and anything we could think of!  Nothing worked.  

Then one night my wonderful hubby put his foot down. He gave me a dose of melatonin, cranked up the white noise and settled me on the couch--while he took DS to the bedroom.  He brought DS to me to nurse 3 times that first night, 2 for the next couple, and then magic happened.  DS slept for 6.5 hours without waking up, nursed for 20 mins, and slept another 3 hrs!  This lasted a week, and then got worse, but there were always a few nights of good sleep between the bad ones, and once I was rested, I was able to figure out some little things that helped a LOT (certain foods to avoid, an itchy pair of pj's, and some great advice from No-Cry Sleep--Elizabeth Pantley).  

We recently transitioned him to a crib in DD's room and planned to let them share a bed in a couple months.  A few weeks ago he suddenly started with the waking every hour, often every 20 mins, and we're back to square one.  I joined MDC today looking for some help and support for our issues, but when I read your post I just had to chime in with another voice from someone who's in that lonely place too!

One last thing...When my hubby took over at 17 mos, it was on advice I got at a LLL meeting.  I had only been to a few meetings since DS's birth, but the women there really saved me.  I burst into sobbing (when one of the leaders mentioned me not being there for awhile) and spilled about the sleep issues. Everyone was loving and encouraging, and it was such a blessing!  I had been so hesitant to let DH take DS for the night (though he kept trying) b/c I felt like it was letting him CIO if I wasn't there.  One of the leaders helped me see that it wasn't CIO if he was in Daddy's loving arms---duh!  If you have a LLL group close to you, maybe you can find some support there.

Hang in there, and HUGS!

Wife to Elliott, Mama to Natalie-7 (natrl brth, brstfd, co-slept, clth dipr, no vax) & Alex-2 (wtrbrth, still brstfding, co-slept, ec & clth dipr, no vax or circ) 

[evjolin]

i think you and i were in the same DDC?

anyhow, my ds is 6 1/2 mos and NOT sleeping well either, and i am at the end of my rope.

we can't seem to get on a schedule, it is constantly changing, and his napping and sleeping is completely erratic.

i am 100% with you!! if you find a miracle solution, clue me ion :-)

[EarthMamaToBe]

My 14 month ols still does not sleep more than 3 hours.  I feel like I am slowly losing my mind.

[LittleBirdy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by evjolin 

i think you and i were in the same DDC?

anyhow, my ds is 6 1/2 mos and NOT sleeping well either, and i am at the end of my rope.

we can't seem to get on a schedule, it is constantly changing, and his napping and sleeping is completely erratic.

i am 100% with you!! if you find a miracle solution, clue me ion :-)

Might have been!  I think I stopped regularly posting in my DDC by the second trimester or so... 

We have a little trouble with schedule, too.  I think he's trying to drop his third nap so I've tried just not putting him down but then the evenings are tough.  No miracle solution but I did order a Magic Sleepsuit to try and help... I think part of our problem is he really still needs to be swaddled, but he hates it.  I am considering chiro or cranial sacral therapy but I am so scared it will just be a disappointment.  My labor was very long, he had a hard time moving past my pubic bone, plus I had a swollen anterior lip and had to stop pushing for an hour or so... by the time he came out he was a total conehead with a huge bruise on his head.
 

[mel707070]

I feel for everyone here, but it is nice to know that I am not the only one!!!! It seems like everyone you talk to has babies sleeping through the night, some from day one. My first 2 children, DS11 and DD 6 were sleeping through the night (7 pm-6am) at 3 months. We lost my DD#2 18 months ago at 38 wks due to a cord accident and were blessed with DD#3 in July. She is now 6 months and I can honestly say that I have not sleep more then 3 hrs in a row for almost 2 yrs! We are BFing and I refuse to switch to formula. Nothing was helping, not starting solids or  feeding an "extra" bottle before bed.

Last week I read "The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West. She does not believe in CIO. I have been using some of her methods and they have helped. Right now I have 2 OK nights with 3 hr stretches and then 1 like last night were my DD was up every 20-40  mins. She advocates teaching your baby how to comfort him/herself so when they wake up they can put themselves back to sleep. She has a section for newborn to 5 months, a 6-8 months, a 9-12 months, 13-18 months, 11/2- 21/2 yrs, and 2 1/2 - 5 yrs. I have been trying several things. #1 is to have a getting ready for sleep routine. We take a bath, BF, and then I rock her in a dim room with soft music playing. #2 is to always put her down drowsy, not asleep if possible. This is to help her realize that she can go to sleep with out me holding her. We have had quite a bit of success with this one!!! #3 is to get her attached to a "lovie". My daughter likes to twirl things and since she has no hair, I made her a small 1ftX1ft soft blanket with a fringe so she has something to twirl.I keep this blanket with her always and it is between her and me when she nurses. They even suggesst for you to wear the "lovie" under your shirt for a few days to make it smell like you! #4 is that I play quit music all night long. This, along with the "lovie", is to help her have things that are familier around her when she wakes up in the middle of the night so that she can put herself back to sleep and not need me to do it for her. We do well with this for the first half of the night...not so good the second half. All in all I have high hopes, but wish she would learn this a little faster!  I went to the Dr today for a Well Baby visit and he suggested to just let her CIO for up to 2 hrs! I love this Dr to death, he is wonderful, but there is no way I could do that so this better work.

I wish you a good nights sleep

You are not alone!!!!