Bitter Sushi Ladies: January Edition - Page 3

[collieflower]

Originally Posted by jenger 
Amo- A word on facebook. I felt incredibly liberated when I started to 'hide' pregnant friends and/or husbands/partners of pregnant people. It makes facebook fun again. They are still your friend, you can still go to their page, you just don't see them in your news feed. (And they have no idea) So when you don't have to read that post ultrasound gender update, or look at picture of their growing belly in Hawaii UNLESS you choose to (By going to their page.)

  I enjoy Facebook again, now that I've hidden some pregnant friends (just the ones who post too many pregnancy-related status updates. I've also gone the extra mile and hidden those friends who post too many (IMO) 'happy family' updates and photos)...
 

[musicoholic]

I too am a FB hider.  Not only pg/baby related stuff - but anyone who is incessantly whinging and negative about (IMO) stupid things, particularly that are of their own making.  I am by nature positive, optimistic and happy....  about life in general, and always trying to make people look for the positives.  I have enough negativity in my life without having to read petty assinine stuff from them as well.  If they had real problems, then maybe I'd care.  

Sigh.  Except that it's becoming harder to be my happy positive self.  I guess I'm a good actor though  

Maybe I should get back on the stage instead of controlling it from the front.  

[monkeyscience]

Beloved - I hope things do get back to normal for you, but dang, I hate it when weird things disappear right before a dr appointment! I want to know what happened, darn it!
 

amo - Yeah, you're not the only one. The 'oops' pregnancy thing really gets me, too. I can't wrap my mind around the idea that one get pregnant not only without any charting or meds or intervention, but accidentally! What the heck is that??

Originally Posted by Kyamo 

monkey - great news on the SA!  Now you just need to get ovulating.  Do you have a prescription for clomid yet?

No. And here's the thing that'll get me kicked out of BSL... we're not sure yet that we want to proceed with fertility treatment. We're not sure right now is when we're supposed to have kids. We're really just trying to explore our options. That's why we have the RE appointment in a few weeks - just want to see what he proposes (especially since he specializes in PCOS). My OB/GYN would give me Clomid if I want it but... I don't know. I'm not sure it feels right yet. At the same time, I keep hoping and hoping to just ovulate on my own! It's happened before, why not now? Sigh. CD30+ and nothing.

[lavatea]

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 

No. And here's the thing that'll get me kicked out of BSL... we're not sure yet that we want to proceed with fertility treatment. We're not sure right now is when we're supposed to have kids. We're really just trying to explore our options. That's why we have the RE appointment in a few weeks - just want to see what he proposes (especially since he specializes in PCOS). My OB/GYN would give me Clomid if I want it but... I don't know. I'm not sure it feels right yet. At the same time, I keep hoping and hoping to just ovulate on my own! It's happened before, why not now? Sigh. CD30+ and nothing.

Here's what might get me kicked out: I had an oops pregnancy (my oldest). Guess I'm paying for it now.

[amo4piano]

Originally Posted by musicoholic 

I too am a FB hider.  Not only pg/baby related stuff - but anyone who is incessantly whinging and negative about (IMO) stupid things, particularly that are of their own making.  I am by nature positive, optimistic and happy....  about life in general, and always trying to make people look for the positives.  I have enough negativity in my life without having to read petty assinine stuff from them as well.  If they had real problems, then maybe I'd care.  

Sigh.  Except that it's becoming harder to be my happy positive self.  I guess I'm a good actor though  

DITTO--you just took the words out of my mouth! This is me!!

Thanks for the "hide" advice, too...I am going to go into Facebook tonight and hide everyone!!! ;) THANK YOU!

[Sweet.Bee]

Originally Posted by Kinza 
SweetBee, I have chronic pelvic pain--cramping in the uterus and days and days of ovarian/ovulation pain. I asked the RE about it, and he didn't seem terribly concerned. I think that 22 years of constant cramps is odd. He did say sometimes women with endometriosis have that sort of pain, but it tends to get worse at ovulation/start of menses, so I don't know how that fits into your non-cyclical pains. He said if I wanted to find out what was going on it would require lap surgery. (I have had ultrasounds that indicate there are no fibroids or anything.) I guess, long story short, if I were you I would mention it to your health care provider, and see if he or she thinks it's anything to worry about and what your options are.

Doctors.  That's really annoying that yours would not take your pain seriously. I just looked endometriosis up, and it doesn't sound fun. I don't think I have it, though. I have no cramps whatsoever during my period, though discomfort around my cervix when I stand for too long. Before the last pregnancy, I had really bad ones that often left me debilitated for CD1 with vomiting, but not anymore. Not sure why they went away. 

Originally Posted by musicoholic 
Oh my goodness, is it international news?  My mum asked me about it yesterday (she lives in near Chicago), but I expect her to be checking up on us... lol

Nope, we're not (we're down the bottom end of the country) - but all our family is!  I spent 10 years in Central Queensland (where I met DH and had DS) - so all DH's family is up there.  They had a big flood in 1991 - apparently this one is higher than that already, it's headed higher than the 1954 flood and towards the 1918 megaflood.  So far all our family and friends seem to have had the sense to live in higher ground, thankfully.

We actually now live in one of the major bush fire belts...  and it's the season for it now - but we're having a bizarrely cold summer this year, so all is good on that front too.  If it's not one thing over here - it's another!!

It was news on the radio for a few days, I think. Then it was replaced with the partial solar eclipse (on Sat, I think?) and some cancerous substance found in feed-contaminated eggs. I think we actually get quite a bit of international news. We listen to a radio station out of Germany via the internet b/c I can't understand the dialect the people around here speak. 

Originally Posted by amo4piano 

Was anyone on here a loving, social and non-jealous person before all of this trying and failing? I am in such a FUNK. I don't even want to talk to friends who are TTC--especially if they are succeeding...what is wrong with me!?

PLEASE, PLEASE tell me this is normal and that I won't be a bitter, mean, jealous hermit for long. Ever since we've been TTC, I think half the people I meet are pregnant. A friend of mine who isn't even married just found out they have an oops pregnancy...really?!?! An OOPS pregnancy?!?! And now they're getting married because of it. You know, typically I'd be so happy for them. These are close friends of mine! But I just want to smack everyone right now. (Thank God for this forum--the only place I can say things like this and not be chastized.)

I just am NOT like this in "real life." Something has taken over my emotions lately. To boot, I am not even ovulating....HELP!!!!

I think this is a shared feeling on this thread. I try to avoid pregnant women, but it's kind of impossible because they are everywhere we go. We just visited my husband's brother and my SIL is pregnant. She kept rubbing her bump and I had to look away. Yeah, I will absolutely be doing that too whenever we get pregnant, but it's hard to watch right now, you know? I feel guilty about being sad so often, too. 

Oh, and I've been ovulating very late and erratically since April.

Originally Posted by lavatea 

Here's what might get me kicked out: I had an oops pregnancy (my oldest). Guess I'm paying for it now.

Our son was also a surprise. Which made me assume I was so fertile. Ha!

[BelovedK]

Short on time, time to get the kids ready for school. I have my appointment today, and af is finally starting. I want to be but I was hoping to be able to find out what was going on.


I may call and talk to her, and maybe get some bloodwork done. Can they check hormones that way?

Love you all, and my thoughts are with you (sorry no time for personals)

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 

No. And here's the thing that'll get me kicked out of BSL... we're not sure yet that we want to proceed with fertility treatment. We're not sure right now is when we're supposed to have kids. We're really just trying to explore our options. That's why we have the RE appointment in a few weeks - just want to see what he proposes (especially since he specializes in PCOS). My OB/GYN would give me Clomid if I want it but... I don't know. I'm not sure it feels right yet. At the same time, I keep hoping and hoping to just ovulate on my own! It's happened before, why not now? Sigh. CD30+ and nothing.

We are not going to do any treatments that involve the baby not being conceived the old-fashioned way. No matter how much we would like more kids, that is just not something we will do. So, you see, our situations here are very different. What we have in common is that the baby we would like is not here. And that we are bitter and often sad. (And, I think many of us are also very tired of trying.)
 

I did not even realize how far in the cycle I am. Then again, having been sick over a week early in the cycle, I think I may ovulate late, anyway. I have not temped and don't think I will. Not sure about OPK's either, as they don't work well for me.

BTW, does anyone know if never having a truly positive OPK can be a clue of any particular fertility issue? I ovulate regularly, based on temps and other symptoms. However, my OPK's, no matter how many times per day I test, are never truly positive. I only get faint lines for a day and nothing at all the rest of the cycle. My LH was tested early in the cycle and came back normal.

Maybe I should head back to the gyno. The problem is, though, that last time she had no interest in my charts, which annoyed me. She liked OPKs as the modern option.. However, as I have said a million times, those don't even show whether you actually ovulated, unlike temps. Besides, this lady wants a lot of blood work (functioning of different organs), which we cannot afford.

Edited by LessTraveledBy - 1/5/11 at 5:30am

[BelovedK]

Another drive by post AF is here with a vengeance. I had to cancel the appointment and can't get in until the 16th. Wish me luck this cycle, though I am feeling little hope, it is hard to accept defeat, and it feels like a defeat

[Kyamo]

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 

No. And here's the thing that'll get me kicked out of BSL... we're not sure yet that we want to proceed with fertility treatment. We're not sure right now is when we're supposed to have kids. We're really just trying to explore our options. That's why we have the RE appointment in a few weeks - just want to see what he proposes (especially since he specializes in PCOS). My OB/GYN would give me Clomid if I want it but... I don't know. I'm not sure it feels right yet. At the same time, I keep hoping and hoping to just ovulate on my own! It's happened before, why not now? Sigh. CD30+ and nothing.

No one will kick you out if you decide not to use fertility treatments!  We have a big range here, from ladies trying nothing medical at all, all the way to those trying IVF.  

Originally Posted by LessTraveledBy 

BTW, does anyone know if never having a truly positive OPK can be a clue of any particular fertility issue? I ovulate regularly, based on temps and other symptoms. However, my OPK's, no matter how many times per day I test, are never truly positive. I only get faint lines for a day and nothing at all the rest of the cycle. My LH was tested early in the cycle and came back normal.

Maybe I should head back to the gyno. The problem is, though, that last time she had no interest in my charts, which annoyed me. She liked OPKs as the modern option.. However, as I have said a million times, those don't even show whether you actually ovulated, unlike temps. Besides, this lady wants a lot of blood work (functioning of different organs), which we cannot afford.

I don't know what it means, but I have the same issue with the OPKs, right down to the doctor who thinks they are way better than charting.  I have never seen a positive OPK.  Thankfully, since I have been on clomid I ovulate fairly predictably.  

[rcr]

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 

Well, I have some good news (not that good, don't stop reading!). Dh got his SA results today... and they were great! In fact, on the lab printout, they even circled the morphology part and wrote "excellent fertility"! I'm so glad that we're not going to be dealing with MFI on top of my issues. I told dh before that if he had fertility problems, too, that was it, I was giving up on bio kids.

Also, after waiting and waiting to get an email from them, I finally called the RE and I have an appointment for 2 weeks from today. I'm hoping he'll have more to say than, "Get an HSG," though I'm okay with getting one.

Other than that, I am really, really dreading going back to work tomorrow. It was so nice not having the stress over the holidays. Bleh.

Yay for Monkey's DHs super swimmers!
 

Originally Posted by collieflower 

Gracie - It's interesting to hear you say that finding out about your chromosomal issue helped. I'm glad it brought you some peace. We are awaiting the results of our chromosomal testing (which takes 6-9 months here in Canada) and I've often thought that a 'bad' result would at least help us to feel that these miscarriages are not our fault, and to help us move on and let go of the craziness of TTC with recurrent miscarriage.

Wow, 6-9 months. Mine took about 2 weeks (no chromosomal problems, but we did find out that it was a boy). Sorry about the wait.

Originally Posted by collieflower 

I am totally on-board for this BSL vacation (and will also happily pay if I win the lotto)!!! I don't have enough (ok, any) friends with whom to vent about this situation in real life. They've all popped out their babies without a second thought, or haven't tried to have babies. 

How about Aruba? I have never been there.

Originally Posted by lavatea 

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 

No. And here's the thing that'll get me kicked out of BSL... we're not sure yet that we want to proceed with fertility treatment. We're not sure right now is when we're supposed to have kids. We're really just trying to explore our options. That's why we have the RE appointment in a few weeks - just want to see what he proposes (especially since he specializes in PCOS). My OB/GYN would give me Clomid if I want it but... I don't know. I'm not sure it feels right yet. At the same time, I keep hoping and hoping to just ovulate on my own! It's happened before, why not now? Sigh. CD30+ and nothing.

Here's what might get me kicked out: I had an oops pregnancy (my oldest). Guess I'm paying for it now.

Me too. DH was living on the other side of the country at the time, we went on vacation, had sex twice at that time - the only time we had seen eachother for like 6 months, and I got knocked up.

Originally Posted by BelovedK 

Short on time, time to get the kids ready for school. I have my appointment today, and af is finally starting. I want to be but I was hoping to be able to find out what was going on.


I may call and talk to her, and maybe get some bloodwork done. Can they check hormones that way?

Love you all, and my thoughts are with you (sorry no time for personals)

Hmm, I don't know whether to be happy or sad about that. Sorry, Beloved.

Originally Posted by Kyamo 

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 

No. And here's the thing that'll get me kicked out of BSL... we're not sure yet that we want to proceed with fertility treatment. We're not sure right now is when we're supposed to have kids. We're really just trying to explore our options. That's why we have the RE appointment in a few weeks - just want to see what he proposes (especially since he specializes in PCOS). My OB/GYN would give me Clomid if I want it but... I don't know. I'm not sure it feels right yet. At the same time, I keep hoping and hoping to just ovulate on my own! It's happened before, why not now? Sigh. CD30+ and nothing.

No one will kick you out if you decide not to use fertility treatments!  We have a big range here, from ladies trying nothing medical at all, all the way to those trying IVF.  

There are plenty of people here that are not doing fettility treatments. This tread is not really about suport for fertility treatments, I think it is about support for bitterness/infertility/etc.

Well, I had a big day yesterday. You can add me to the side of the BSL spectrum that is doing IVF. We started the process yesteray. Our insurance changed Jan 1, and it is 100% covered.Yippee!! I have a wonderful long talk with the RE, who really put my mind at ease about it. The plan is 2 weeks of birth control pills after I get AF (which should be this weekend), then shots that I give to myself to stimulate egg prodction, then the egg meets sperm in in the pitri dish and gets put back inside me part, and then another few weeks of shots. I can donate the unused embryos, or save them if I want them (I can donate them in a few years too). I am overwelmed with this. I could not sleep last night because I am so scared/excited. I really never thought it would come to this, and it seems so fast, even though we have been trying for like three years (well, at least NTNP for that long). I have not felt this hopeful/scared/excited in years.

[BelovedK]

Oh rcr, I am so for you!!! 100% covered is great!!! I will be following your progress closely

[Laggie]

CD1.  Not that I had any hope for this cycle...

rcr, I would be over the moon if we had coverage for fertility treatments. I guess that is the flipside of insurance being so pricey in the USA - I guess if you have a good plan, it covers things that are pretty much never covered in Canada. Well, except Quebec, they cover 3 cycles of IVF.

Just waiting to see the new fertility clinic next Thursday. Although still frustrated because DP does not seem to want to do IVF. I'm perplexed by this because he is Mr. "Science is the Answer" about *everything* else. 

BelovedK, sorry that AF started. I was hoping against hope for you as well. I am a little bit happy that AF has synced up with the new moon for me again though. It's probably silly but I am just going to tell myself that's better for fertility.

I was talking to a friend last night (one of those "I get pregnant when a man just looks at me" types) and she started in about how our mutual friend is now pregnant because she finally "just relaxed." Uh... ya, and did an IVF cycle.  I just laughed at her and told her that I don't think hormone shots and embryo transfers are "relaxing" but sure, that must be it 

Edited by Laggie - 1/5/11 at 11:25am

[rcr]

Originally Posted by Laggie 

CD1.  Not that I had any hope for this cycle...

rcr, I would be over the moon if we had coverage for fertility treatments. I guess that is the flipside of insurance being so pricey in the USA - I guess if you have a good plan, it covers things that are pretty much never covered in Canada. Well, except Quebec, they cover 3 cycles of IVF.

Just waiting to see the new fertility clinic next Thursday. Although still frustrated because DP does not seem to want to do IVF. I'm perplexed by this because he is Mr. "Science is the Answer" about *everything* else. 

BelovedK, sorry that AF started. I was hoping against hope for you as well. I am a little bit happy that AF has synced up with the new moon for me again though. It's probably silly but I am just going to tell myself that's better for fertility.

I was talking to a friend last night (one of those "I get pregnant when a man just looks at me" types) and she started in about how our mutual friend is now pregnant because she finally "just relaxed." Uh... ya, and did an IVF cycle. :lol I just laughed at her and told her that I don't think hormone shots and embryo transfers are "relaxing" but sure, that must be it 

Ha! yea, relaxing... giving yourself shots at midnight, massaging your butt so it doesn't hurt as bad... and to think, all I really need to do was "relax". Ya, shoulda tried that one first.

Yes, I am over the moon about it. I can't believe it. It is really rare here in the US. We just lucked out that DH works for a company that has a law requiring fertility treatments, and the policy was written in that state (because that is where the main office is - even though we are not in the same state). I can't believe it. I keep saying that, but I can't believe it. I never get a break, and I feel like I just won the lottery.

Sorry about CD1.

[musicoholic]

Beloved:  I'm with rcr - I don't know whether to be happy or sad....  but I hope you can still get some things cleared up with your dr. 

Laggie:  

rcr:  1. YAY for 100% coverage!!!!        

       2. Aruba sounds fantastic!!!!  Now I just have to win the lotto....  

       3.  My DS was a surprise but not really an "oops"...  we had only JUST decided to stop preventing....  Why can't it be that easy all the time?

I was looking through a couple of the other threads....  and I now have a whole lot of little grey boxes that go all the way across the screen because I've hidden quite a few posters ...........  the latest because they're only trying to conceive at the time when it would fit their "schedule".    I understand that mentality, really I do....  but I don't care anymore.  My "schedule" will change (no, disappear!) to fit a baby, not the other way around.  Sigh.

Oh, to live in the same idyllic world as them.  (we need a green-eyed monster smilie!!!)

Edited by musicoholic - 1/5/11 at 3:30pm

[Kyamo]

Originally Posted by Laggie 

CD1.  Not that I had any hope for this cycle...

rcr, I would be over the moon if we had coverage for fertility treatments. I guess that is the flipside of insurance being so pricey in the USA - I guess if you have a good plan, it covers things that are pretty much never covered in Canada. Well, except Quebec, they cover 3 cycles of IVF.

Sorry about AF. 

Ontario partially covers two cycles of IVF if and only if you have two completely blocked tubes.  However, I am still thankful because OHIP covered 100% of all the doctors appts and bloodwork, ultrasound, sonohysterogram, etc.  So that is huge, even though the IUIs are out of pocket.  

[monkeyscience]

rcr - That is fantastic! And it is rare to get insurance coverage for that sort of stuff. Mind if I ask what state requires it? (Maybe we can move there when dh graduates!)

Beloved - Sucks that you have to reschedule your appointment. :(

music - I have similar angry feelings about people who will TTC for a few months, then stop, because they don't want their baby born on their cat's birthday, or a nail appointment, or something stupid. I've said I'd really prefer not to have a baby around Christmas, but no way in heck would I try to prevent it - some of us have to be grateful for what we can get. :P

Re: Me getting kicked out - Sorry, I wasn't very clear. I meant I would get kicked out because I'm not actually at the point of insane baby hunger. I'm bitter, yes, but it's because my body won't just do what it's supposed to, not necessarily because I don't have a baby yet. Anyway, hopefully you will all love me, anyway.

[Laggie]

Okay, I am sure that I am just setting myself up for disappointment here, but the spotting that I thought was AF starting this morning - well, it went from red spotting to brown spotting to nothing. Which is pretty weird for me because usually day 1 is the heaviest. I haven't been charting at all so I don't even know when I might have O'd.

I know there's not much chance, at our last fertility appt. they said DP doesn't even have enough sperm for IUI - but I am sooo not good at not hoping.

[lilmom]

Well, we'll see what my temps do in the next few days but I think I may have O'ed a couple of days ago and missed my eggie. DS hasn't been sleeping well lately and it's made it really hard to do any babymaking!

rcr - how wonderful for you!!!! Hope is a great thing, isn't it?! I am hoping for you too!

Beloved - sorry that you weren't able to keep your appt and get any answers. Keep us posted on whether or not you could do bloodwork and get any answers from that.

Laggie - holding out hope for you! Sounds like it could be implantation spotting! fingers crossed!

LTB -Is it possible for you to go to a different ob/gyn who might take your charts more seriously? I have no idea what it means to never get a positive OPK. I have never tried them myself since my cycles are so irregular, I decided it would be a huge a waste of money, and I think charting certainly tells me what I need to know

to all - about facebook, the only thing that really drives me insane are the pregnancy announcements via facebook. I miss the days when someone would call me or email me to let me know. On the other hand though, I don't have to feign excitement when I really feel jealousy, or sadness that someone has once again gotten pregnant on their own schedule. I have one friend who has literally gotten pregnant on her first try twice in a row. Really disheartening for me.. and I start to wonder, why not me? Especially when pregnant ladies are everywhere, and it feels like everyone I know is. : ( Even DH doesn't want to hear anyone's announcements anymore..he actually cursed when he found out about the latest one! And that is not typical of him at all.

[musicoholic]

Quote:

Originally Posted by monkeyscience 

music - I have similar angry feelings about people who will TTC for a few months, then stop, because they don't want their baby born on their cat's birthday, or a nail appointment, or something stupid. I've said I'd really prefer not to have a baby around Christmas, but no way in heck would I try to prevent it - some of us have to be grateful for what we can get. :P

I completely agree.  It's irritating!!  Though I was lucky with DS...  even though we weren't actually trying, it happened that he was conceived at the right time for me to be at the beginning of summer holidays for his due date (I actually worked FT until the day before he was due...  but he was 2 weeks "late"...  so born Dec21).  That said - I don't care when I conceive this time (if?? )...  I'm blessed to have an awesome boss and admin support, so maternity leave will not be a problem (and if I want to take the baby to school with my I think they'd be overjoyed.  Apparently I'm irreplaceable....  )

(although I would feel a little bad if it happened around Senior exam time...    But if I prepare them well enough now they'll be fine!)

Originally Posted by Laggie 

 - but I am sooo not good at not hoping.

And that's how we should be!!  There's a quote...  somewhere in the ethers of my memory...  that says something like - 

even though hope is deceiful, at least we get through life via the most pleasant route.  

Or something to that effect.

Originally Posted by lilmom 

to all - about facebook, the only thing that really drives me insane are the pregnancy announcements via facebook. I miss the days when someone would call me or email me to let me know. On the other hand though, I don't have to feign excitement when I really feel jealousy, or sadness that someone has once again gotten pregnant on their own schedule. I have one friend who has literally gotten pregnant on her first try twice in a row. Really disheartening for me.. and I start to wonder, why not me? Especially when pregnant ladies are everywhere, and it feels like everyone I know is. : ( Even DH doesn't want to hear anyone's announcements anymore..he actually cursed when he found out about the latest one! And that is not typical of him at all.

This annoys the cRaP out of me!  Any kind of "big" announcement - and it becomes "brought to you first, here on FB".  Although I agree - I don't have to pretend to be happy for them....  and it's easy to pretend not to have seen it. 

I think we all need a