I had planned to keep a pregnancy under wraps for a long time. But I announced on facebook at 4 weeks 1 day with our first pregnancy. Oops.
I got to un-announce 4 weeks later. The next 3 pregnancies I didn't say a word, except to my bestest friends.
Who knows what I'll do if we get a real keeper baby. I plan to hold it close to the vest for a long while. But...
rcr - That is fantastic! And it is rare to get insurance coverage for that sort of stuff. Mind if I ask what state requires it? (Maybe we can move there when dh graduates!)
See this link: http://www.fertilitylifelines.com/payingfortreatment/state-mandatedinsurancelist.jsp
It is a list of states with fertility coverage and what they cover. We are not in one of those states, but our insurance comes from Illinois, so I guess (at least in my case) you can work for a company in one of those states, but live out of state.
Okay, I am sure that I am just setting myself up for disappointment here, but the spotting that I thought was AF starting this morning - well, it went from red spotting to brown spotting to nothing. Which is pretty weird for me because usually day 1 is the heaviest. I haven't been charting at all so I don't even know when I might have O'd.
I know there's not much chance, at our last fertility appt. they said DP doesn't even have enough sperm for IUI - but I am sooo not good at not hoping.
fingers crossed. I'm not good at not hoping too.
I had planned to keep a pregnancy under wraps for a long time. But I announced on facebook at 4 weeks 1 day with our first pregnancy. Oops.
I got to un-announce 4 weeks later. The next 3 pregnancies I didn't say a word, except to my bestest friends.
Who knows what I'll do if we get a real keeper baby. I plan to hold it close to the vest for a long while. But...
Ouch, un-telling people in FB must have been really rough. I only had to un-tell my aunt and a close friend, and that was horrible enough (well, my aunt was the one I didn't want to tell, my friend knows the whole story).
Next time, I am waiting until his/her first birthday to tell anybody. 
Sorry Beloved. I have been following your posts and they make me sad for you. I hope you aren't loosing all hope. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have SD pregnant, while having a hard time ttc. 
AFM - I got AF today. I am actually happy she is here because we did not BD at all, so there was no chance of being pregnant, and now I get to call the RE this morning to start the IVF process.
So... I continually amaze myself with my powers of delusion. In other words, AF is here in full force. But yes, somehow, the insane hopefulness seems to put me in a better mood.
Off to come up with a budget for saving $ for IVF... 
Maybe I can get DP on board if I show him a concrete plan.
rcr, that's great that your insurance covers so much! As far as I have gathered, all insurance companies where we live are required to cover testing and 3 IUIs, but coverage for the drugs varies, and I don't think anyone covers IVF. For the most part I'm happy with health insurance here (though it is very expensive), as I moved here halfway through my last pregnancy, and they all would have to take me and cover all the checkups and birth. But your insurance sounds even better.
Laggie, 
It's so hard to not hope, no matter what our rational side tells us. I prefer to hope, too, though. When I can manage it. 
How much is IVF where you are? But now I'm hoping for you that you won't need it. I hope you end up pregnant and can use the money for a nice trip.
Beloved, What an ordeal you've been through.
lilmom, are you trying anything for your long cycles? I can't remember if you've been to see your doctor or are trying something else or whatnot. I tried fertility yoga, which did nothing (though I still do it b/c it didn't seem to hurt and it's relaxing). Then I tried soy, which either did nothing or made me O the latest ever last cycle (could have been a coincidence, but I ditched the soy anyway b/c it sure didn't help). I don't want to be all medicated up, but at this point I've run out of ideas that will actually make me O normally. That and my doctor's being stubborn and won't test me yet, grrr.
As for me, CD18 and no sign of O yet. I think the long wait to ovulate each cycle is making me more bitter than anything else. It's like a sign that something is weird with my body. I used to be so regular. 
Oh, and I just found out that the amazing place where I gave birth to my son is no longer doing births since they were forcefully merged with a nearby hospital. Not that I'm even pregnant anyway, but it just makes me mad.
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rcr, that's great that your insurance covers so much! As far as I have gathered, all insurance companies where we live are required to cover testing and 3 IUIs, but coverage for the drugs varies, and I don't think anyone covers IVF. For the most part I'm happy with health insurance here (though it is very expensive), as I moved here halfway through my last pregnancy, and they all would have to take me and cover all the checkups and birth. But your insurance sounds even better.
Laggie, It's so hard to not hope, no matter what our rational side tells us. I prefer to hope, too, though. When I can manage it. How much is IVF where you are? But now I'm hoping for you that you won't need it. I hope you end up pregnant and can use the money for a nice trip.
Beloved, What an ordeal you've been through.
lilmom, are you trying anything for your long cycles? I can't remember if you've been to see your doctor or are trying something else or whatnot. I tried fertility yoga, which did nothing (though I still do it b/c it didn't seem to hurt and it's relaxing). Then I tried soy, which either did nothing or made me O the latest ever last cycle (could have been a coincidence, but I ditched the soy anyway b/c it sure didn't help). I don't want to be all medicated up, but at this point I've run out of ideas that will actually make me O normally. That and my doctor's being stubborn and won't test me yet, grrr.
As for me, CD18 and no sign of O yet. I think the long wait to ovulate each cycle is making me more bitter than anything else. It's like a sign that something is weird with my body. I used to be so regular. Oh, and I just found out that the amazing place where I gave birth to my son is no longer doing births since they were forcefully merged with a nearby hospital. Not that I'm even pregnant anyway, but it just makes me mad.
SweetBee, I'm not doing anything medically right now for the long cycles. So far, I have tried fertility yoga (nothing), maca (made cycles even longer!), NAC (nothing), various other vitamins...the only thing that has ever helped me is acupuncture, but unfortunately in my crappy little town there is not one. Closest one 3 hrs away. Also the ob.gyns here don't do testing. They are just basically baby catchers and pap smear testers and that is it. They will give me clomid though, if I want it. I just haven't done it because we desperately want to move, and we keep hoping DH will just get a new job and we can move back to a big metro area, and I have been too scared to do it with these ob's anyway! They just are so ignorant, literally. And acupuncture/chinese herbs seriously worked soooo well before. So, what I'm trying right now until we do move is a healthier diet, low carb, lots of veggies and fruits, and low sugar. I think if I can lose my extra 25 lbs that will really help. I was 25 lbs lighter when I got pg with DS. All that being said, if we are still here in a couple of months, I don't know if I can stand not to try the clomid, because I just can't let too much more time go by. I'm too old for that. So, there it is.
I am so sorry the place you had DS at is no longer doing births! That is so frustrating. If we end up having another one, and we are back in our old city, I would not go back to my previous ob, so I don't know where I would be birthing. The hospitals have a super high rate of c-section and I would be trying for a vbac, so I don't know..DH doesn't want to do a HB, too scary for him. So, possibly a birth center, although I know for sure that a couple of them do not do vbacs. So, that part of it is scary to me, but I quit worrying about all that a long time ago..I just want to get pregnant again!
Well, I guess it's time for me to come over here... I'm, apparently, too bitter for most other places so I've come to you ladies. We've been HARD TTC for 6 months now... NTNP for 3 years and 9 months before that (but with great timing almost every time)...I'm feeling especially bitter since we just found out that my husband's ex horrible, no good, very bad wife might be pregnant again... so that's TWICE in the 4 years and 3 months since we've been hoping for another. I'm not doing well with that AT ALL right now, especially since we found out yesterday and I, of course, started AF yesterday. We also did the NTNP after DS was born for 4 months... then hard TTC for 2 years to finally get our bfp with DD so unfortunately, this is not my first go-round with bitterness towards TTC. So.... when you add me, you can use this for my info:
Hoping for #3 for 4 years and 3 months with 6 months hard TTC (charting, etc) after previous unexplained secondary infertility. 
Thank you! :)
Welcome, Jeri! Sounds like this is the place for you, at least emotionally. Hoping you won't need to stay for long!
I am ovulating or about to or whatever. We are trying, as there is no other choice. Not hopeful, though, as usual. It sucks to have perfect timing, month after month, with nothing but BFN's. My body is so regular these days, to the point of knowing when things will happen, to the day. On the one hand it makes me feel like I must be doing well with my hypo meds. On the other, though, this "great regularity" (ha!) has not helped one bit towards having a baby. Unexplained infertility, indeed.
I am feeling very blessed, today. Our dd is a wonderful little person, so in a sense I feel like "we got it right the first time." I love kids and would never say something like that to anyone. I would like to have so many more... Yet, at least if we cannot have more kids, we do have such a great child. I AM blessed to get to be her mama, no matter what. I think things would be a lot easier on me, if we could move on past the baby and toddler yeard by having friends with kids our dd's age or older. However, all our friends have little ones and keep having more. I am happy for them, of course, (even though I am often sad and bitter) and find that it is as it should be. Yet, it is rough and I look forward to the time when they also move on to the childhood years. Dd will probably be a teenager by then, though.
Jeri, welcome. you've had a rough road I hope your stay here is short and sweet.
i haven't posted much lately because i guess i just don't have that much to say.
I just ovulated. I can't decide whether the first 2 weeks or the second are more stressful. I almost feel like i'm getting less and less desperate to get pregnant. maybe this is just a momentary feeling. i am too old to really just let it go and stop obsessing totally... but i just sort of feel numb right now. not really ambivalent because i really do want to be pregnant, but something sort of close to ambivalence. like all i can do is shrug my shoulders and hope for the best. is there a stage of this where bitterness turns to ambivalence? anyone else feel this way?
hugs to you all. i'm off to stalk your charts.
Jeri, welcome. you've had a rough road I hope your stay here is short and sweet.
i haven't posted much lately because i guess i just don't have that much to say.
I just ovulated. I can't decide whether the first 2 weeks or the second are more stressful. I almost feel like i'm getting less and less desperate to get pregnant. maybe this is just a momentary feeling. i am too old to really just let it go and stop obsessing totally... but i just sort of feel numb right now. not really ambivalent because i really do want to be pregnant, but something sort of close to ambivalence. like all i can do is shrug my shoulders and hope for the best. is there a stage of this where bitterness turns to ambivalence? anyone else feel this way?
hugs to you all. i'm off to stalk your charts.
Attached2Elijah, welcome! I think you were on the soy thread? I'm not there anymore b/c my cycle with soy was a disaster with O on CD30.
lilmom, so sad that you're not close to anyone who does acupuncture when you know that worked for you before. I looked into it, and our insurance covers some of the cost of acupuncture, but only if a doctor refers me. Which they won't before I hit 1 year anyway, so I guess I just need to wait it out for the next 3 months.
LessTraveledBy, I also feel very lucky with our son. He is an amazing and sweet person (though often really stubborn, haha ), and I love him to bits. I really want to give him a sibling b/c he adores other children. It used to be just older children, but he stroked a newborn baby's head at playgroup a few weeks ago, then when we were at a restaurant last week, he tried to follow a family who was leaving with their baby.
scarletjane, I can't really call myself ambivalent, but I've kind of just let go for the next 3 months until we are allowed to finally get help. There's nothing I can do about anything until a doctor will look at me, which no one will for 3 months, so I'm trying not to worry and obsess about things out of my control. I'm still charting and doing OPKs and such (just got a delivery of them today, yay!). I'm not stupid, after all. 
We'd never get any sort of decent timing without tracking my wacky, unpredictable cycles.
Beloved, hoping this cycle is the one for you. 
As for me, CD19 and my body feels like it's getting more fertile. Also getting O pain (usually happens 2 days before O, coinciding with a + OPK), though my OPK today barely had a 2nd line. I'm just hoping to O in the next week. And I got my hair done today, so I feel pretty again. 
Thinking about weight. . . A few people have mentioned getting to the weight they had when getting pregnant before. Maybe each woman has an ideal weight balance for getting pregnant that's different from that of other women. Maybe average, maybe heavier, maybe lighter. Each our own magic number, you know? I was very slender when I got pregnant with my son (BMI on the borderline between normal and underweight, though I do have small bones), then gained a lot of weight during pregnancy. It's been slowly coming off since giving birth, and I think I'm almost back to what I was then. We don't have a scale, so I'm not sure, though. I want to believe if I reach my magic number, I will get pregnant. Just a little hope I'm holding onto. And I'm ignoring the fact that my cycles weren't so long before.
A2E: hey! 
I've added your info (could you double check it for me please?). Welcome... but sorry you feel you had to come over here. On the other hand, the ladies here are awesome - and they don't care how down your posts get. Here's hoping you won't need to stay long. How's Big Bob?
LTB: I feel the same way. My DS is quite high-maintenance... but is also an awesome little human. It was a hard road to begin with (I had PND, but more of a denial than a harming mindset. I was waiting for the baby's mother to come and pick him up... for 8 months!), but now I don't know what I'd do without him - and can't remember where I was before him! Poor kid needs a sibling. (He made a wordsearch puzzle for me the other day, gave it to me and said "Don't worry mum, it's really easy" (like he knows more words than me!! lol). The words I had to find were mum, dad, me, and baby 
)
Beloved: I just wanted to send you a . Oh, and I had a look at your 365 project.... wow! Some powerful stuff there.
scarletjane: I'm not quite at the ambivalent stage yet... but it feels closer and closer with each passing cycle. Which makes me sad in itself.
ETA: O...M...G. DH has just taken on a new student whose wife is pg with #5 (6 weeks to go). DH asked her if she knew what she was having (a boy. Has 3 girls and a boy already). Then she proceeds to tell him that a friend of hers is pg with #1 (not sure how far)... and they're going to find out what sex the baby is as soon as possible. Here's the kicker: if it's a girl, this woman will terminate the pregnancy. I feel ill. I mean, each to their own and all that.... but.... I don't even know what I'm trying to say here. Why can't people just be grateful? Give the baby to me, FFS!!! 
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Here's the kicker: if it's a girl, this woman will terminate the pregnancy. I feel ill. I mean, each to their own and all that.... but.... I don't even know what I'm trying to say here. Why can't people just be grateful? Give the baby to me, FFS!!!
Is that even legal? Either way, I'm sorry you had to hear that. That really makes me ill the way some people are. I'm always ranting how parents around here are smoking in their babies' faces (and the pregnant women often smoke, many hoping for a "lighter baby" to deliver 
), but this really upsets me.
rcr - Thanks for the link. Maybe I will have to consider moving back to Illinois, after all. 4 years of Chicago winters = one frozen monkey!
music - That story is so sad...I hope she's pregnant with a boy, for the baby's sake. :(
To the rest of you - still reading, not much to say right now.
yeah... I hope it's a boy too. What makes it even worse today, is I was taking DS out to a "kids day out" held at the racecourse.... and on the radio driving there they had a news story about a couple that has just terminated a twin pg (twin boys) because they want a girl. They apparently lost their daughter a few days after she was born (I just about burst into tears at that), so they're fighting to have gender-selection IVF (which we don't do over here, so they're looking at going to the US). What is our world coming to?
I know it's an individual decision.... but..... I don't know, it just doesn't seem fair. Technology is so right and good for so many reasons - and so wrong for so many others.
Oh my. I feel very VERY strongly that it should not be legal to terminate a pregnancy due to gender! I just don't even have words, Music, to say how I feel about that. I feel sick to my stomach about it.
SweetBee, again about the topic of weight, I was tiny, tiny when I got pregnant with DS. Actually, I was tiny my whole life until 2 yrs ago. I only gained 12 lbs with my pregnancy. (I know, I know, please don't anyone be mad..it was a terribly hard pregnancy and I was on bedrest 5 months..no need to be mad) So, in my case, I didn't gain all this weight until DS was a year and a half old, and I am not positive why I gained it either. I do feel like if I could just get to my ideal weight and be healthier in general, maybe I could get pregnant again. The irony is, I eat so much better than almost anyone I know. Probably not better than alot of ladies on MDC, but somehow it does frustrate me when I see ladies who are eating fast food, etc every day during their whole pregnancies, or as someone else just mentioned, smoking, etc. OH, I keep forgetting to ask you this...did you mention a while back that you thought you might have a prolactin problem? I had never heard of that until you mentioned it, but I also had a really hard time with breastfeeding..basically I couldn't do it because I had NO milk, and I mean no milk. I was pumping, and trying to BF exclusively and i literally had no milk after DS was 3 wks old, even while taking fenugreek, blessed thistle, and drinking mother's milk tea. It was really sad. The doctors blamed it on my difficult pregancy though, and said I just wasn't healthy enough to make milk and still be ok myself. Anyway, you saying you had some problems with that too made me wonder if this might have something to do with my long crazy cycles and trouble ttc? Have you looked into that further? How do they determine your prolactin levels and how does that affect your cycle?
Welcome, Attached2Elijah. I am so sorry for the hard road you've been travelling! I hope it gets easier quickly!!
Beloved, I hope this time is THE cycle for you.
We need hugs all around, oh yes, and that BSL vacation sounds pretty good too.
Originally Posted by lilmom
SweetBee, again about the topic of weight, I was tiny, tiny when I got pregnant with DS. Actually, I was tiny my whole life until 2 yrs ago. I only gained 12 lbs with my pregnancy. (I know, I know, please don't anyone be mad..it was a terribly hard pregnancy and I was on bedrest 5 months..no need to be mad) So, in my case, I didn't gain all this weight until DS was a year and a half old, and I am not positive why I gained it either.
Lilmom.... Any chance you have a thyroid problem? I do, and you just described me: I did not gain "too much" when pregnant but when dd was between a year and two, I gained 20 lbs, seemingly without any reason.
I have no comment to the abortion thing. Otherwise it would become a rant about "how dare we" (meaning, humans).
I am supposed to be translating something but, instead, have been oline, buying clothes for dd. Oh well...
Hope you all have a great weekend!
There was an article in the newspaper today about a new calculator to find your individual odds of success with IVF, depending on your age, reason for infertility, etc. Thought some of you might be interested: article, calculator site.
This is my 2nd winter temping and I notice no difference between winter and summer temps. The bedroom is usually about 18-19C in the winter and can get up as high as 30 in the bedroom in the hottest part of summer since we have no AC, so there is definitely a difference in room temp, but my temps don't reflect any difference at all.
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