Going back to work- bets AP practices

[jruck]

Does anyone have advice on the best ways to stick to attachment parenting when working full time? I have to go back next week after only ten weeks. ML is watching him in my home. Ill pump at work and continue to co-sleep but I'd love to hear from other WM's about how they've done it. For example- how many times a day should I plan on pumping if away for ten hours? Any tips I should know? Is it better to play or baby wear when I first get home to reconnect? Etc. Thanks! This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

[KLM99]

Hugs and best of luck.  Sounds like you have a great set-up since your MIL will be with baby all day - is she willing and able to be an AP parent to your child while you are gone?  I had a similar arrangement when I went back to work full-time at 7 weeks PP with my first and 8 weeks PP with my second.  My mother stayed with the babies and was able to pay full attention to them and give them everything they needed for the first year.  It was a huge blessing.  It was absolutely the hardest thing (and continues to be).  I spent lots of time crying, and feeling like I wasn't good at anything, and questioning my choices, etc.  But you can do it and it helps to be absolutely confident that you are making the best choices you can for your baby.  The first year goes so incredibly fast - just get yourself through each day one at a time making the best choices you can.  You will be exhausted.  You will feel like you're not good at anything.  But know that you are doing the best that you can for your baby and your family and yourself.

Take time to pump three times a day in the beginning and build up a stash in case you have bad pumping days later.  Pumping has to be an absolute priority at work - if you slip even a day or two, it could seriously affect your supply.  It should be like eating or going to the bathroom - it simply MUST be done.  I would suggest getting the best equipment you can afford - a Medela Pump-in-Style seems to be the most recommended.  Don't "cheap out" on pumping supplies.  However, you'll probably find that you don't need everything you might think you need - I've heard some people love those hands-free bras and others think they're ridiculous.  I for one never used nursing bras or shirts - just tucked down my regular bra.  But others swear by them.  Allow yourself to get what you need to make it as simple and painless as possible.

I'd also recommend cutting everything else out to the extent that you can.  Maybe just set yourself an internal goal of making it 6 months making only the best decisions for your baby, yourself, and your family, everything else be damned :)  I think I tried to do too much in the beginning - be a star at work, keep up with friends and volunteering, etc.  Seriously you need to cut everything else out just for a short amount of time.  Ask yourself - is this important or can it wait?  Then let it go and don't feel guilty.

Also accept all help that is offered.  If a friend asks what they can do, ask them to bring a meal over.  Allow yourself to order pizza or something so you're not having to cook dinner so you can pay attention to baby for the evening.  Get a housekeeper once a week if you can or just accept that your house will be a mess.  Readjust what it means to you to have relaxation time - allow yourself to take a long, hot shower, but take baby in the shower with you and make it a lingering cuddling affair.  Read for fun while nursing.  Go to bed when baby is ready - don't try to stay up longer to sweep the floor or waste time watching late-night TV.

If it helps, come up with a mantra.  "This too shall pass" is a favorite of mine - and it goes both ways (getting through the hard times, but also, keeping you enjoying your baby while he/she is still so young). 

Ideally, if your MIL just does what you would do at home with baby anyway (babywearing, engaging baby when she/he is awake, feeding on demand), then there shouldn't be any difficulties - your baby will be just as happy when you get home as she would be if you were gone.  And then you can just pick up when she leaves and do whatever your baby wants to do.  Co-sleeping is awesome, because then you're still getting the majority of the hours in a day to be close to baby. 

Good luck!!  And enjoy!!

[_ktg_]

I agree with a lot of what KLM stated.  Going back is tough, you will not enough sleep, you may become torn about working vs. home.  I love my work & DH is a SAHD, so going back to my job was easier for me.  My kids are safe, they are being brought up with principles I agree with and that makes a huge difference.  I won't lie, as it is tough, but it is about balance and cutting yourself enough slack. :)  For me - pumping was huge and I found that scheduling set times in my outlook calendar (visible to my entire office) worked great.  I labeled it a "private" appointment, so no one could see the gory details, but they knew enough to leave me alone and I gave myself enough time (like 20-30 minutes) in my office.  It ensured I wouldn't have appointments scheduled into that time and if folks were looking for me (since my door was closed & locked!), they could check the calendar and at least know I was in the office and would be available shortly.

Getting home - give yourself 15-30 minutes to change gears (going from work to home life) and take a deep breath refocus on home and leave work at work.  For me I loved babywearing when I got home, and that made it easier for me to do other things along with snuggling my babe.

Good luck with your transition!!!

[namaste_mom]

I agree with KLM, for 10 hours pump 3 times, every 3 hours. I agree with ktg also, schedule your pumping sessions. My Outlook is not visible to everyone so I just have the word PUMP on it, highlighted in red. I am ruled by my Outlook schedule so if it says to do it, I do it. When I first get home, baby wants to smile and bounce but then usually wants to feed. So, I spend time saying Hi to everyone with baby on my hip and then go to the bedroom and feed baby. He usually wants to be near me throughout dinner so I either wear him or put him on the floor near where I am cooking and play with him in between. Ideally DH would have done dinner but that never works in our house. I try to interact as much as I can with baby. I get home about 5 or 5:30 and he usually goes to sleep about 8:30-9:30.

[jruck]

Thank you all for the advice. The Outlook calendar is a great idea, as I live by mine as well. Im going to look into the hands-free pumping bra. I figure if I'm pumping an hour a day at work, working while pumping should ensure I don't have to stay too late. My MIL is willing to try AP practices, but its not how she things, so we'll figure it out as we go. I'm lucky to have her, as I kow he'll be loved all day even if she poo poo's my ring sling.