Originally Posted by Suki Lu
I agree with bcblondie, encourage her in other, small areas and you will see the confidence spill over.
I see you have a cat, can she feed it? Give her a small container with just the right amount of food in it for one feeding and she can dump it in the bowl. This is work for you I know, but she will feel so important to the family and it's a great first job for that age. It can always be her job. Perhaps you can set up several empty jam jars ahead of time and always keep on in a specific place. She can reach it and open it and dump it all on her own.
I think 3 is a hard age because they want to do things, and can, but you have to work out all the tiny steps for them to make it successful for them.
Other things she could do: sweep with a small dustpan and hand broom (tape a square on the floor with painters tape and she can sweep into it), fold napkins or washcloths, wash dishes in the sink, sort laundry, transfer loads from washer to dryer.
You'll have to show her how and "train" her, show her very slowly and specifically and then step back and she will surprise you. Check out Montessori for more ideas. 3 year olds can surprise you with their capabilities.
This will all build confidence that will cross over into the larger things you are talking about.
Perhaps a step stool on the floor of the car?
Perhaps you tell her your back is hurting and you need her help in the toilet on/off part? I know lots of times I don't tell my kids exactly what I am thinking.
Perhaps give her a "lesson" on wiping her own nose? Cute tissue holder? Anything to make it attractive to her.
You should expect a lot from children and let them rise to the occasion!
DD is very involved with helping me around the house (um, except for dinnertime. nightmare central...) and we do most of the things mentioned above :) I give her a TON of praise and she's still very self-conscious and reluctant to do things.
Perhaps a step stool on the floor of the car? Rear facing :) There are a TON of ledges for her to use on the side of the car (car's kickboards, actual car, vehicle seat, etc) to climb like a ladder.
Perhaps you tell her your back is hurting and you need her help in the toilet on/off part? I know lots of times I don't tell my kids exactly what I am thinking. Tried. It goes over her head :(
Perhaps give her a "lesson" on wiping her own nose? Cute tissue holder? Anything to make it attractive to her. I sewed her some pretty hankerchiefs from some really neat fabric I had laying around (hehe.. they were supposed to be for a blanket but THAT never happened...) and she was super excited until the time came that she sneezed and she had to wipe her nose. No way on this green earth would she do it. I think people in Australia heard her screaming and crying in protest :(
Also about her nose- it's a bit frustrating now because she has started (today, actually) refusing to come to ME when it happens, and I have to come to her (in order to stop the meltdown, that is). I don't like being bossed around I don't want to show her that that's okay and natural consequences and yadadada ... but when there's a nursing baby who just fell asleep.. egh, it's just a lot.
ElliesMomma I ROFLed when I read your post! That's so funny haha. Yeah, I do that too though :( Sometimes it works, sometimes not.
I have found that she is very reluctant to do things that involve gross motor skills. I have her enrolled in a gymnastics class at the park district to help her get better at trusting herself and her body to do things. She enjoys it, but for her first session there (she's going on her fourth session, starts this week) she refused to do a lot of the things. I don't push it, I just encourage and act very shocked and pleased when she does do it (even if I have seen her do it a million times). As of last session, she would still refuse to do things. If she won't, whatever. It's not a competition or anything, it was moms & tots gymnastics, lol. My DD actually doesn't do a lot of the things they do in class, come to think of it, and she's not exactly coordinated enough to do some of the things. It makes me a little uneasy because there are 18 month olds in the class that do some of the things, but I realize that she is still growing into her body and getting used to balance and everything. I'm clumsy by nature so maybe she gets it from me. This session is her first session of going by herself for a drop off class so we shall see how it goes. Anyways- though I know she can do certain things like climb up to her carseat and get off the toilet by herself, I think that she's reluctant in the same way that she's reluctant to do a forwards roll, if that makes sense. Only she won't budge when it comes to this- I can sometimes encourage a roll out of her.