really stuck with rhythm

[doulawoman]

Ok, I've read rhythm of the home, parenting passageway, soulemama, you are your child's first teacher, beyond the rainbow bridge and heaven on earth....at times we;ve had..well it was more like a schedule. I feel really stuck and erratic in myself...even though dd is 10 mo sleep is so erratic due to teething/sickness/relfux/hyperactivity or otehr crises, chaos. I really need rhythm though. Help.I feel so stuck on this!

[laangel]

I would say choose a few things to start with, bed time, nap times and meal times are always a good place. If you find that this is too erractic still due to how little your dd is, maybe you can introduce a larger rhythm that would help you day to day, such as Monday washing, Tuesday: Playdate, Wednesday, cleaning etc if you see what I mean. Sorry I can't help more, it will get easier when the sleep crises ease. I'm in that waiting place at the moment, craving for more order and rhythm but just getting sleepless nights and craziness...oh better go that marks the end of yet another unscheduled nap lol!

good luck Laura x 

[appalachiamama]

At our house, rhythm didn't take place until our child was about 18 months old.  Your day naturally has rhythm--meals are at about the same time, darkness and light come about the same time each day.  I think that's adequate for a baby, but that's me.  I don't have a set chore plan for the week--I do what needs to be done on the day that requires it.  I try to have some days, like those when my husband is off, with a little lighter load so that we can go out and have fun.  Rhythm here looks like:

Wake up

Play a little (15 minutes or so) while breakfast is prepared

Have breakfast

Nurse

Get dressed for the day

Clean up breakfast dishes

Laundry or tidying

Trip outside or to park in warm enough weather

Lunch

Clean up lunch dishes

Afternoon chores or errands

Quiet time or naptime, depending on what's needed

Supper prep

Clean up

Optional bath

Turning down of lights

Snuggle on the couch until sleep

Those things are all variable.  My husband's work schedule includes morning and evening work, so we cannot have every day be the same.  I don't think it needs to be, just predictable.  Another way to have rhythm is to be consistent in where you keep things.  This doesn't matter much now, but as your child begins to walk and explore, it helps to have items in the same place so they are always easy to find.  Saves some frustration.  I don't know if you have any older children, but this is what it looks like with a 2+ year old.

[doulawoman]

I like the idea of a "larger rhythm" that seems doable...yes dd is very erratic, she was up two hours in the middle of the nigth last night for no apparent reason....I've been working on all tis homeopathically sicne shortly after her birth, but anyway...I don;t have any older children. I just feel very lost and like I myself crave some sort of predictability..starting with a daily theme might help!

[appalachiamama]

Here's a helpful blog post from The Parenting Passageway: http://theparentingpassageway.com/2011/01/05/rhythm-for-the-irregular/

[Gunter]

this is such a great blog post!

there is a chapter on rhythm in 'simplicity parenting' that i have just been re-reading.  i just went to a workshop this morning about it with other families and the inisight that group has is wonderful.

my kids are older than yours a bit but when i was just starting to understand the importance of rhythm, i followed them around with a notecard and wrote down what we were doing about every half hour to an hour.  this helped me see what was working and what they were into and what my own needs were.  it was rather enlightening to realize how much rhythm was already in our day and just tweak some things.

start small is the best advice i have heard.  and, then the need to gently work on ourselves as we guide these precious children rings so loud to me (especially when i am up way too late for the next day's good!). 

[doulawoman]

I liked the post! And the idea of taking note of what we're doing sounds good. We're pretty good at the inhale/exhale idea... with my highneeds babe getting housework done has been a huge issue...involving screaming. But..right now I'm culling a huge amount of stuff...we didm't have tons to begin with but it's helping in a round about way with rhythm. It's hard ebacuse no matter what I do..dd is herself and very out-of-sync at times...