How do we teach him how to relax?

[AuNaturaleMama]

When DS was 3 months old he developed horrible eczema. He used his Itching as a self comforting mechanism. Now he's 14 months old and has had clear skin for about 4 months now but he still tears at his skin when falling asleep. Many nights he'll make his wrists or scalp bleed which of course wakes him up rather than drift off. It makes the whole process very stressful for everyone (the sound of him scratching is a trigger for me.)

Socks on his hands used to work until he discovered he can use his teeth to remove them. I've posted on the nightime board about his needing to drink tons of milk to sleep which I totally take the blame for causing that habit. It was a way to busy his hands rather than harm himself.

Naptimes have become easy most days. Very little scratching if any at all! I just wish he'd learn to relax at night rather than tense up and scratch himself silly.

Short of cutting off his hands, is it possible to help him break the habit or is this something we need to just hope he'll out grow?

Edited to add: it's 10:45 and he's not asleep. We started our bedtime routine at 7:30. DH had to take over because I needed a break.

[ElliesMomma]

if bedtime is taking 3 hours, first thing i'd do is stop trying to get him to bed at 7:30. let him stay up until he is good and tired. yawning. showing signs of sleepiness in his eyes.

have you been to a dermatologist about the eczema? maybe they could advise you on the continuing scratching.

my daughter had eczema between the ages of 2-3 yo. her dermatologist recommended benedryl for overnights, to cut down on the compulsive scratching. it worked well to knock her out and she didn't scratch. this helped heal the eczema. benedryl if you read the carton is not recommended for under age 3, but my dermatologist said it is very safe and a long time tested medicine. might be worth looking into. also, once the child gets used to sleeping without scratching, you can stop the benedryl and they go to sleep without scratching.

IF a doctor tells you it's safe, it might be worth it to use the medicine for a short time, in order to stop the scratching. the scratching can leave scars.

but seriously, for all of your sakes, just relax the strict bedtime for now and save your battle for ending the scratching habit. if he is really really really tired, won't it be more likely that he will just truly conk out?

[dejagerw]

My son isn't as extreme with the scratching, but I do notice sometimes he'll scratch his face at night.  He might have a little scratch or something and at night he scratches and scratches it.  At first I did nothing, but then I was noticing his little scratches weren't healing because he kept messing with them at night.  So when I put him to bed and lay down with him, if he starts scratching, I just gently take his hands away from what he's scratching and place them on his chest.  He eventually stops.  (His scratches healed up after I did this).

[AuNaturaleMama]

I've never considered placing his hands on his chest. I have held them to his sides and he screamed. Maybe it was uncomfortable for him. Thanks for the suggestion!

I don't want to jinx anything but tonight was fairly easy. When he started getting to the point where he could t handle life, we gave him some benedryl and DH walked him around in the ergo. He didn't drink much milk so hopefully his diaper will hold out so he doesn't wake up and itch to soothe himself. I'm sure with my luck he'll be up in an hour or so.

[ASusan]

Been there. I feel for you.

When DS's eczema itches, DH is able to scratch it for him, and DS is able to relax. I cannot do this (DS pushes me away), and, like you, the scratching is a trigger for me.

1 - 1.5 hours is our limit. When DS has been awake and/or scratching for an hour (sleep disrupted), we break out the benedryl. Up until a couple of months ago, I think we were using it several times a week. It breaks the cycle.

Can you rock him or pat his back or otherwise provide some physical input that might distract from the scratching?