Weaning & Need To Teach Ds How to Fall Asleep

[lifeguard]

I am in the process of weaning ds (because of a medication I will be starting that is incompatible). We cut out the morning session first & that went ok. And then we cut out the bedtime session.

And now ds doesn't know how to fall asleep. He tries. He gets us to tuck him in, he tucks us in & his bears, he closes his eyes & lies still & pretends to snore, says goodnight, the whole thing. But no sleep until he is just beyond exhausted. It's been a week & if anything it is getting worse 'cause now he gets all upset as soon as we talk about bedtime. There is SO much crying involved in the whole process - hours of crying.

I cannot go back to nursing him to sleep but I don't know how to teach him to fall asleep without it. We are there with him but that honestly doesn't seem to help.

Any ideas?

[ASusan]

Ugh. I feel for you. DS is a year older, and he STILL has problems with this.

My first thought is one you've probably already tried - do you have a partner who can put him down? DS always goes down better for DH than for me.

My second thought - I walked/swayed/sang when DS was that age and I was night weaning him. He's too big for that, now, and I rock him. Works better with some sort of white noise. For us, that is now the humidifier.

DH uses an Ipod to put DS down, with his favorite songs. Ones that have helped put him to sleep since he was little, although he rejects many of them now because he KNOWS they put him to sleep.

Third thought - start much earlier? Like that 6pm window that we've never quite been able to catch, but even though it is mythical to us, many families seem to be able to get their LOs down super-early. The opposite, of course, is to just let him stay up to all hours, which is where we are at in our household, given that we're still kinda on winter break.

[lifeguard]

Thanks

Dh did lie with him last night for over an hour. He is much happier with him than me but dh is less patient to be in there for so long without ds falling asleep. I must admit it is frustrating to be in there & have him just playing.

Part of the difficulty I'm having is that he gets all upset & won't even let me touch him so rocking or whatnot is kind of out. Plus he's so heavy it's hard to do for any length of time. I could see him falling asleep in the ergo - wish it was warmer outside so I could walk with him that way. I think I'd get dizzy if I had to do circles in our little house!

I definitely will try some music tonight - we have a cd player in his room & that might at least give him something to focus on.

We have played with his bedtime several times over the past year & we know that going to sleep earlier is definitely not helpful. I have never been able to get him down before 8:30 & actually have him sleep through the night (instead he has a little nap & is up for hours). I am very much a night owl & always have been so I suspect he is just taking after me in this regard.

Dh thinks maybe he is having another development jump or growth spurt & that is contributing to it. He is acquiring language at an amazing pace right now.

[Halfasianmomma]

My thoughts...

Have you considered finding a CD with rain noises to play while you put him to sleep? My DD falls asleep within minutes if it's raining outside, so I'm currently putting together something to play on the iPod to help soothe her.

Do you have a set routine (as in, bath time, a good rub down, pjs, snack, brush teeth, stories and then lights out)? I know this is what helped me when I weaned DD off nursing to sleep. Now that DD is older, I rub her back for a bit while we talk about what's going to happen tomorrow...then I sit next to her till she falls asleep. It's usually something like: "Mommy loves me?" "Yes, mommy loves you. And grandma, and grandpa too". "And Luc at the daycare?" "Yes, and Luc at the daycare too. You're going to see him tomorrow and play!".

Also, it might just be taking some time for the routine to set in. When I weaned DD, it took a good 2 weeks of me "going out" and my mother putting her to bed. After those two weeks, we just made sure to follow the set routine (and I wore turtlenecks to bed, so there was no "temptation").

[lifeguard]

thanks halfasianmomma - I think it is just taking longer than I hoped to settle into the routine. We have been doing a consistent routine before bed for months - for whatever reason he does not have that automatic sleepy response to it that some children do!

Tonight was MUCH better. We decided to not push the bedtime but instead wait until he let us know he was ready. I put a bottle of milk ready to go within sight but out of reach & told him he could have it when he goes to bed (I know, I know the bottle is NOT a great idea but he is SO excited about the bottle & I figure I can water it down until it's just water in the coming weeks). He asked for the bottle, I asked if he was ready to go up & go to bed & he said yes. So up & we went & read a book & then laid down to snuggle. It took 45 minutes but there was no screaming & no crying!!! I'll take that as a victory.