Plus sized mama obsessed with weight

[Mommyplus2]

Hello, I'm new to this site and am so happy to find a forum to meet new people. I currently have a DD who is 3. I started yo-yo weight gain about 6 years ago and went from a size 2-20. When my hubby and I planned our first I went from a size 16 to a size 8. I was so happy...to happy that I gained 80 pounds during my pregnancy. I have never struggled with my weight so much and currently am a size 18 and 7 weeks pregnant. I already gained 3 lbs
And am terrified of gaining more since I am considered obese at 5'9 235 lbs. I am hungry a lot of times but will only eat an orange or low carb meal or salad bc doctor recommends I gain no more than 15 pounds. I read on some forums that many women lose weight or gained only 8 lbs their entire plus size pregnancy. Please send me advice and will power. I want a healthy baby more than anything and although there are no problems w my pregnancy my family makes me feel like I should be eating only veggies. When my extended family found out I was preggo with our second they immediately judged me about my weight and criticized me for putting my health @ risk by getting pregnant. My husband is supportive but sometimes makes remarks like I'm gonna hit 300. He definitely liked me best when I was a size 8. I feel I have nobody to turn to bc all my friends and fam are thin, and for all of my youth through mid twenties I was thin as well. I don't know if to keep dieting or eat more but just make sure Im healthy. I told my sis I'm starving and she said that she seriously doubted that. I really want to enjoy this pregnancy and just be healthy...please advise...

[mamaw/two]

I think right now the most important thing is making sure you are getting proper nutrients for your growing, developing baby.  Make sure you are getting lots of high quality protein, veggies, fruits and whole grains, and avoid the sugary, high carb stuff.  Try to get in some walking at least several times a week.  I have struggled with my weight too, especially after having a baby.  Have you had your thyroid checked?  Mine always goes hypothyroid after a baby and it makes weight loss almost impossible during the first year to year and a half.  I know it's really hard going into a pregnancy overweight (I am), but you can lose it later, baby's health is what you need to look at right now.   

[Full Heart]

From a plus size momma I can tell you the most important thing is to eat right for the baby and not worry about what other people think.  Because you are just setting yourself up for problems if you are more concerned about what other people think than about what your baby needs.  Keep a food diary, this has helped me the most.  I was feeling guilty about what I was eating but after I kept a food diary I realized I eat really well.  Just because we are obese does not mean we eat terribly.  And a food diary can help us feel better about our choices and help those around us know we are doing our best.  Concentrate on eating whole grains, veggies and protein. 

I recently met with an OB who just assumed, because I am obese, that I was eating unhealthy.  I ended up feeling very very badly about myself.  Literally crying half the night because I was sure I was endangering my baby because I was fat.  So finding yourself someone who is not fat phobic is very important.  Don't discuss weight or diet with others who aren't supportive.  They won't understand and will only serve to hurt you.  No one needs to know how much weight you have or haven't gained. 

[jcregan]

I totally agree with everyone - you do need to eat now, you are pregnant!  A lot of the pregnancy books out there have some good tips on what to eat.  Many are a bit to prescribed for my taste but maybe that would help you have a guideline of what is ok and even something to show others who might comment. 

You could focus on many small meals throughout the day etc.  Based on what you said you eat I would be concerned because you need to get enough protein, iron, calcium etc. to really keep healthy. 

You might increase your healthy food intake and try to make sure you are doing some light walking/yoga etc. as a way to help keep the balance and the weight gain minimized.  Some peoples bodies just gain more then others I think..

I am 5 8 and started out at 196 - so a bit lower then you are starting, but still in the range where my recommended weight gain is about 15-20 pounds... Not happening for me, but I did not expect to either.  With my first I gained 56 pounds and I hope to keep it to 40 pounds or under this time.  I am 29 weeks and am up about 32 pounds now.  I pay attention to what I eat and it is healthy most of the time but I try not to obsess over it.  My midwives have not commented that I am over the recommended gain and they were not concerned with it last pregnancy either.

You may have to work hard to come to terms with your current body as it is and whatever your body will want/need to do with its weight for the pregnancy.  While over the recommended weight you can still be healthy and so can your baby.  Focus on those aspects and perhaps (politely if you want) tell others to butt out. 

I have a friend who likely started out to a similar BMI as you in her 2nd and 3rd pregnancies and gained maybe 20 pounds with each... so it is really hard to say what will happen.

Now, go have a healthy snack if you want, and feel good about it!

[poppiesinjuly]

I'm due tomorrow, and have lost about 10 lbs this pregnancy.  I was a size 18-20 pre-pregnancy.

5'8" 240ish (now 230ish)

I have not had the perfect pregnancy, but I have been pretty healthy.  I do have gestational diabetes that is well controlled with diet and exercise.  Overweight people are more likely to have it, but certainly not all overweight people do, and some thin people have it too.

If you are really worried about weight gain, I would highly recommend learning about the diet they give to people with gestational diabetes.  It isn't low carb, but it is reduced carb.  I have been using the diet since I was diagnosed.  My doctor was really concerned about me feeling hungry, so he did tell me to do without the "limit" on the protein portion of my meals and snacks.  You should never go hungry when you are pregnant.  If you're hungry, your baby is too.

So, I basically fill my plate with as much non starchy veggies and protein as I want, then a limited amount of fruit, whole grain bread, and a glass of milk for meals.  For snacks I have protein and 1 carb.  If I'm hungry I eat.  Eggs and cheese are my friend.  I drink *a lot* of water.

Since I found out I had GD (12 weeks), I've had ice cream once and 1 oatmeal cookie (I exchanged my bread or fruit for them), and I made it through Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Sometimes it sucks to avoid that dessert I really want, but it's not as hard when I'm thinking about my little one, and it's better for me too.

I think it's best to just think of your baby and realize that your little one needs calories and fat to grow and be healthy.  Eating is *good* for your baby.  Limiting healthy food can harm your baby.  Limit your white carbs and junk food and try to relax. 

As far as your family goes, try to ignore them or tell them to shut up.  Your sister is rude, and has no idea what she's taking about.  Is it ideal to be overweight and pregnant?  Maybe not, but it is certainly not the end of the world.  2/3 of people in the United States are overweight or obese.  Is anyone really willing to say that they shouldn't have children?  People who have never had to deal with issues about weight can sometimes feel superior to those of us who have, but generally, it is genetics, and not hard work, that keeps them thin.

My sister is super thin, and she eats jars of marshmallow creme with a spoon.  (talk about junk)  It's just the way she was born.

[physmom]

I know how you feel.  I really, really wanted to be a skinny pregnant lady but sometimes life throws you something you didn't expect.  We just found out I was pregnant and weight gain is a pretty big concern for me.  I've recently lost about 25lbs so I was getting a lot closer to a good weight but still had a ways to go.  So far I've just lost weight but I'm not very far along and I have pretty much not appetite. I'm still worried, though, because I gained waaaayyyy too much last time around so I'm trying to be a lot better about what I eat this time.   Basically, I plan on sticking to what I was eating before I got pregnant (that means absolutely no sugar, but I do occasionally use natural sweeteners and no friend foods.  oh, and very, very little prepackaged food too).  However, if I do eventually get hungry, I plan on eating but by making sure I'm eating the right foods. 

I'm sorry you've gotten such rude comments.  FWIW I know other moms who were obese when they got pregnant and they all have wonderful healthy babies today. ;) 
 

[geekgolightly]

Plus Plus sized momma here.  I started this pregnancy at 275 and at 23 weeks, I am currently 277-280. Prior to getting pregnant, I changed my diet eliminating grains and sugars and over the course of six months or so, I lost 30 pounds. Since pregnancy I have allowed a *little* more carby type foods, but have become strict again r/t my gluten sensitivity becoming very serious in the pregnancy. I eat unlimited amounts of vegetables, meats, eggs, nuts and fats and try to limits the dairy and fruits somewhat. Rare rice or other non gluten grains. Eating what is low carb by default has really helped keep my weight in check. You need to cook most of your meals this way. No more boxed foods except the rare ones from whole foods, and when eating out, you are quite limited, but I htink those limits ensure healthy choices. I end up eating anywhere between 50-150 grams of carbs a day.

In the Traditional Foods forum there is a great primal eating thread, which I go to for inspiration and recipes.

[changingseasons]

Well, since people keep posting about how *little* they gained, or how much they lost during pregnancy, I'll share my experience to make you feel better.    I gained 90 pounds with DD.  Lost it all within 9 months.  Didn't have GD.  This time, I'm doing the exact same thing- putting on a solid 10 pounds a month. No idea why.   I'm eating no different than I was pre-pregnancy, and I started gaining immediately when I got pregnant.  My body for whatever reason apparently thinks that I need a LOT of extra reserves when I get pregnant.  It's really frustrating, and I feel horrible and uncomfortable and self-conscious.  But I'm trying to remember that after the baby is born, and I start breastfeeding, a lot of the weight will come off easily (at least I hope it does again!!)  

Just wanted you to know that you weren't alone.  

[Mamatoabunch]

Oh mama! I am a big mama and by the time my 8th arrived I weighed 274, a week later 266. I got down to 210 and 212 for #9 and #10, but when expecting my 10th I gained more, more than I had ever before. I was 256 when I delivered, but I lost all and then some so that now I am a size 12-14, 175 when I conceived my 11th. What you need to do is eat, eat healthy, watch that you don't over do it. I do watch my calories and workout 5 days a week, w/ less intensity than before. There are websites for moms watching what they eat and working out in pregnancy, I belong to one myself, a great motivator.

[swimmingbean]

Another plus size mama over here!  I'm 6' tall and about 250 lbs right now at 29 weeks.  I had lost about 20 lbs in the first trimester just because I wasn't hungry at all and I've put back on about 7 lbs so far.  I'm battling with food huge too.  Everything I eat freaks me out a bit although I am eating now for sure.  I pretty much was eating constantly the entire second trimester and I'm settling down now a bit but am still hungry.

I haven't had anyone make comments too much about my weight as I did lose quite a bit the first trimester. It's not my ideal for sure to be plus size with a bump though...I feel like people are watching me going "is she?  isn't she?" and while I wasn't pregnant I had people come up and ask!  Granted, there is no hiding this bump right now- I appear to be a watermelon smuggler. 

I'm totally agreeing with everyone: EAT!!  I've done the GD test and while I failed the first one (gotta love PCOS) I'm waiting on my MW appointment tomorrow to find out the results of the second.  No matter what happens, baby needs that calorie count and the nutrients that come from a varried diet.  If you've been high on the blood sugar end pre-pregnancy the GD test will come out a little wonky no matter what my MW said and that quite a lot of people who go get diagnosed actually aren't; it's just how their bodies react to sugar. As long as you've got wicked prenatal care, you're pretty solid.

Good luck, enjoy your pregnancy and try to ignore weight as much as it's humanly possible.  Doesn't help that every single "hollywood type" woman looks the exact same as she normally does while pregnant...just with a basketball stuffed up her shirt!  Just once I want to see one of them blimp up and have a puffy face walking the red carpet! 

[thebigfam]

JUST EAT!!!!  I was worried about weight gain at the beginning of my preg,  I am now 38 weeks and have gained a total of 6 pounds.  I started at 218 and am now 224 I am 2'6  I eat when I am hungery and drink lots of water!  you will be fine.  Your baby needs the food.  People that see me can't believe I haven't gained much because I eat all the time!  the most important thing now is the health of your child.  eat well and eat when you feel like you need to. 

Big Momma

[mamaw/two]

Originally Posted by swimmingbean 

Doesn't help that every single "hollywood type" woman looks the exact same as she normally does while pregnant...just with a basketball stuffed up her shirt!  Just once I want to see one of them blimp up and have a puffy face walking the red carpet! 

I'd love to see that!

[geekgolightly]

salma got big!

salma preggers

http://cdn.buzznet.com/media/jj1/2007/06/salma-pregnant/salma-hayek-really-pregnant-04.jpg

salma not preggers

http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/20090115/293.hayek.salma.lc.011509.jpg

[cappuccinosmom]

I am so sorry your family is being so horrid to you. :(

And sorry you are so down on yourself.

Plus sized mama here.  I am way bigger than you.  Had three uncomplicated deliveries and three healthy babies.  Yes, I gained weight.  Yes, I do not like that I gained so much weight. It's not the babies fault, though, and they were all worth it.

This is the truth: Eat when you are hungry, and eat healthy foods in reasonable quantities, and stay active, and you will be healthy, regardless of the number on the scale.  Honestly, that's hard for me.  It's a whole lot easier to obsess, and complain about my weight, and indulge in the self-hatred.  And while I'm doing that, I'm distracting and excusing myself from doing what I need to do. 

If you need a burger, eat a burger.  Just don't eat three with fries and a milkshake on the side.  If you'd rather have a milkshake, have a small one and enjoy it, but don't add to it 3 other high calorie foods.  OTOH, there is nothing wrong with filling up on lots and lots of fruits and veggies.  Don't starve yourself by eating just one orange and nothing else.  Eat and orange and a salad with some grilled chicken.  Or eat 3 oranges and a banana, if that's what you feel like.  You are probably going to gain some weight.  If the weight is gained while you are eating a healthy, reasonable diet (not a crash diet, not a restrictive diet), it will not be that hard to shed if you continue eating healthy and reasonably after the baby is born.

[elus0814]

I could have written parts of your post. In the past seven years I've had four kids and my 5'4" self has gone from 140 to 195 to 150 to 205 to 117 to 200 to 228 to my current 184. My highest weight, 228, was when I was almost a year postpartum and not pregnant. It's been a roller coaster. I always joke with people that no matter their size they can borrow something from my closet - I have everything lined up by size from 22 all the way down to 2. I lose weight by signing up for then competing in triathlons and running races. I really don't think you should severely limit your calories. If your family gets on your back tell them your doctor thinks you need to gain more weight so the baby can be healthy. Try not to overindulge while pregnant to avoid another really large gain but allow yourself a big dessert now and then - you're growing a baby and you deserve it. To avoid gaining too much during my last pregnancy I would eat some raw fruit or veggies before the meal then eat whatever I wanted but I usually didn't want as much. 

Your husband should NOT be telling you he thinks you will gain weight. Please tell him how this makes you feel. My husband has never said anything like that but does suggest things like going on walks together or healthier meals. I know he misses the healthy weight me and I'm trying to get back there. I hope you eat well for yourself as well as for the baby.

[lonegirl]

Originally Posted by Mamatoabunch 

Oh mama! I am a big mama and by the time my 8th arrived I weighed 274, a week later 266. I got down to 210 and 212 for #9 and #10, but when expecting my 10th I gained more, more than I had ever before. I was 256 when I delivered, but I lost all and then some so that now I am a size 12-14, 175 when I conceived my 11th. What you need to do is eat, eat healthy, watch that you don't over do it. I do watch my calories and workout 5 days a week, w/ less intensity than before. There are websites for moms watching what they eat and working out in pregnancy, I belong to one myself, a great motivator.

Great work and please share!! 

LOL with ds I gained nearly 100lbs I am only down about 20lbs from my delivery weight of 265 (4 yrs ago).  This time around I am determined to stay within the healthy weight gain recommendation.  I am working out regularly and trying to eat well.  I would love to track down some good support sites out there!!

 

[Bird Girl]

I gained 40 lbs with my son, lost not one bit of it (he's five now...) and have already put on 20 lbs at 24 weeks with this one. (I meant to add, for a grand total of 220 lbs.) I echo what everyone else has said--don't fill up on trash food, but don't deny yourself and your baby what you need--lots of healthy, high protein food and healthy fats to go with it.

There's always time for a walking program with your baby in a sling for after your delivery. As you get more fit, your baby gets heavier, and helps you get more fit still!

[Mommyplus2]

Thanks to all of you for your responses. I feel a lot better. I do feel really blessed that I am carrying a baby again which is such a miracle and I do eat well but I think I just felt strangers were more happy for me than my own family. Luckily I have great friends and now this great pregnancy forum to vent. I ate really good today. I always have eaten organic and good fruits and veggies. For me I gained weight when I completely stopped working out...makes sense. I stared walking 30 minutes today on my treadmill and will continue to do so to try to help. You are all so supportive. I think my family may just be worried and also have some body image issues themselves for being so focused on me. My daughter is so funny because she says she wants my belly to stay small (jealous to have a sibling). Only too her its small. LOL. Anyways my husband is really getting on my nerves lately...anybody feel like that? In my family it is believed that your baby will look like the person you dislike most during your pregnancy...so I guess this baby will be the spitting image of my DH...but that's another thread. Thanks again for all your great advice...I will keep you posted and many blessings to all of you!

[Mommyplus2]

Thanks and best wishes on your delivery! (poppiesinJuly)

[purplestraws]

Originally Posted by poppiesinjuly 

If you are really worried about weight gain, I would highly recommend learning about the diet they give to people with gestational diabetes.  It isn't low carb, but it is reduced carb. 

Totally agree with this comment.  I'm also overweight and was with both of my previous pregnancies.  After I was diagnosed with GD in my last pregnancy (at 28 weeks) I didn't gain but a couple of pounds...the 20 pounds (vs. 50 with my first pregnancy) that I gained over the course of my pregnancy was all in those first two trimesters.  I felt great on the diet and I didn't even swell (I had awful awful swelling with my first)...even thought it was July/August and super hot outside.  I can't say enough about that diet...I honestly think that EVERYONE needs to be on that diet.  And I didn't skimp on food either...I ate plenty of protein...tons of peanut butter, lots of (full-fat) cheese, good amounts of meat. 

Don't stress about your weight too much.  Just eat a healthy diet (and IMO fewer carbohydrates) and stay active...and you'll gain what your baby needs to you gain. :)