Jamie, I know how you are feeling.
I am 28, but my husband is 35. He has had baby fever for the past year. I know he can tecnically father a baby for many years, but he didnt want to be "too old" to enjoy playing with his children. Its not that I didn't want a baby, but I didn't feel the ticking clock so to speak. I am so overwhelmed with work and life, the thought of a baby at this point sounded really overwhelming, but then I realized that there really will be no time when I don't make myself busy. I just started my own equestrian gifts and apparel store (http://www.PrettyPonyInc.com) which just really starting taking off the ground last October with our new website. I also have about 900 affiliate marketing websites of my own, 5 overseas employees in the Phillipines I hired to promote my websites, and 1 employee (friend) close by who works with me with Pretty Pony, manage my husbands diet supplement line, manage his 3 new business website builds, product shipping for his and my various other business, and mentor about 6-8 people on a weekly basis who work the same marketing business as our affiliate who need a lot of help and guidance. I also have tons of animals (dog, house rabbit, guinea pigs, 3 exotic 2' reptiles, and 3 horses who need daily work, including 1 rescue horse with behavioral problems). On top of that, I also do the daily cleaning (2 people working from home means a lot more dishes, groceries, etc), laundry, pick up, organization (neat freak), house hold stuff. We also are working on finishing our house (bought a foreclosed home that the contractor ran out of money before it was finished). Im missing a few things, but you get the idea. Im busy, and stressed, to the max in every way possible.
Despite the stress, I also felt like I just finally started to "find my way" in life. I love showing and training my horses and love my "barn family". I am worried I will have to give all that up, including my 3 baby girls (horses).
That being said, I am still happy. I know I can make it work to still be able to work and have a life. Or at least thats my thought. I feel bad because my husband is super excited, and I am too, I am just doubting my ability to "do it all" and stay sane. And be happy, if possible. I have snapped at my poor husband a lot over the past week about how all the pressure is going to be on me to be pregnant then raise the baby, plus work my 10+ jobs 60+ hours a week from home and make enough to pay half the expenses of the house and bills AND do all the house work. I dont want to be a stressed out momma!
Still sorting out my feeling. Im happy and just realizing Im going to have to let some things go. I half-leased a horse out to a 9 year old girl, and hired a trainer for a rescue mare. Experiencing tons of symptoms, though not nauseous yet, so letting my friend take care of a lot of the work for Pretty Pony and just taking it one day at a time and focusing my energy on all the positives instead of the negative. The thought of spending more time as a family. Having a baby to teach all we know to (including riding when they are old enough). Taking time to take it easy for once and enjoy the little things in life. Making time to spend with friends and family to celebrate this occasion. Everything will fall right into place in the end :)
Sorry- I type fast and tend to ramble.....
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