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I need a village!

post #1 of 55
Thread Starter 
Last night I was watching a rerun of Dharma and Greg and it was the episode where they adopt a baby. Dharma's parents assemble a village of people to help out with the baby which got me thinking. If I had 3 or 4 people in our house to share the raising of DS I'd be the most well rested, organized, and put together sahm to a toddler!

Anyone want to join my village?
post #2 of 55

In a heartbeat!  I was just coming to look for advice on how to manage my clingy 11 month old and my super social 4 year old and me feeling like I'm at the end of my rope and it isn't even 11am here yet.  If I had someone to help out during the day we would have a much happier life.  

post #3 of 55

I understand the village thing--- I've been looking for my "tribe" since my first was born, she is now 6 and a half.  I really think that co-housing with the right group of people would be of spectacular benefit to the children and the adults.  I'm not really ready to run off to the woods and go "commune" yet, but I sure do think it would be nice to get a giant house with a couple of other families.  

post #4 of 55

I hear that!  I haven't yet found a single at-home parent in my small community here in rural America, and I feel like taking care of my 2 girls without anyone but my lovely wife to help out is just nuts.  I would LOVE a village.  I can't even find a decent babysitter.

post #5 of 55
Thread Starter 
I'm totally ready to move onto a commune! In fact I spend a few hours a week trying to convince DH that it's a great idea.

We have awesome neighbors how are a great help but they don't have kids and sometimes I want a whole herd of kids running in my backyard!
post #6 of 55

I've spent the last six years dreaming of finding my tribe.  2 years ago I was lucky enough to meet the love of my life and now, at least we have each other..... but I'm still hoping and praying for a tribe.  I feel that my talents/gifts are needed here in this society, or I would just go to a commune (DH would be on board).  I just keep imagining I'll find a couple of other families and together we'll purchase a chunk of land and build ourselves some straw bale houses or maybe earthships, grow a garden, have some chickens and a goat and dogs and cats and maybe a cow and a pig......  we'll have bonfires and drum circles and a community kitchen... and our free range unschooled children running wild through the woods.  Though I have encountered many people in the virtual world with similar ideals, I have yet to meet anyone IRL that shares my vision.  I'll keep on hoping :)

post #7 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottyG View Post

....  I would LOVE a village.  I can't even find a decent babysitter.



 Me too.  This really hit home last week when I was sicker than ever, and 9 months pregnant.  Couldn't even get out of bed without having difficulty breathing, having a coughing fit, and feeling like collapsing.  I just laid there and cried that there is absolutely nobody to help us.  I would have gladly even paid for help at that point, even though we don't have any money!!

post #8 of 55

well if anyone is in phoenix, i need a village too.  we weren't meant to raise our children so isolated. it is sooo hard to find the village. 

post #9 of 55

We need a village to raise children.  It's part of human nature.

 

I was talking with DH last night about packing everything up and buying a chunk of land to have a homestead on when he mentioned joining a commune!  Which of course I instantly fell in love with the idea.  Now I just need to find one with like minded people.

post #10 of 55
Thread Starter 

 

Ive tried to get DH on board with the idea of starting our own commune. I have the perfect vision in my head even! Unfortunately he doesn't exactly see it. He is too "business-minded." if it doesn't make him money, it isn't really worth it.

Oh well, it can be my plan for the next life!
post #11 of 55

Check to see if there are co-housing communities near where you live. That's the idea of them!

 

Also, my mom always put ads out looking for senior citizens when were babies to be our adopted grandmas since our real grandmas weren't near. There are a lot of seniors who feel the same way you feel --- and would love to be around a baby. Can you put up a flier at your town's senior center? Village grandma could be waiting for you! read.gif

 

 

 

post #12 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by lightinmyhands View Post

I've spent the last six years dreaming of finding my tribe.  2 years ago I was lucky enough to meet the love of my life and now, at least we have each other..... but I'm still hoping and praying for a tribe.  I feel that my talents/gifts are needed here in this society, or I would just go to a commune (DH would be on board).  I just keep imagining I'll find a couple of other families and together we'll purchase a chunk of land and build ourselves some straw bale houses or maybe earthships, grow a garden, have some chickens and a goat and dogs and cats and maybe a cow and a pig......  we'll have bonfires and drum circles and a community kitchen... and our free range unschooled children running wild through the woods.  Though I have encountered many people in the virtual world with similar ideals, I have yet to meet anyone IRL that shares my vision.  I'll keep on hoping :)


That sounds so wonderful! I could have written that myself. My dh and I have been talking about finding/creating a village since we met, but it's been mostly idle dreaming. After our dd was born, we realized how much we need to find our village. We currently live in suburbia and with the exception of a couple people, the majority of our neighbors are complete strangers to us. The sad part is, most of our neighbors don't even want to know each other, or be part of any sort of community. There is such a heightened sense of paranoia these days.There are tons of kids in our neighborhood, but you never see them outside playing. NEVER. For that matter, we rarely see any adults out, except to go to and from their cars. When my mom came down to help out after dd was born, she commented on how it seemed like we lived in a ghost town. It's so disheartening to live amongst so many people, yet be so isolated.

post #13 of 55

I have actually found a playgroup through MDC and we are doing a LOT to help each other.  We often hang out at one persons help to help with childcare while the host mama does work.  :)  It's rather awesome.  And my best friend is moving in with us this summer.  I'm so excited I can barely stand it!  I will get HELP!  HALLELUJAH

post #14 of 55

Hey, lovin' your vision!!!! I have the same vision for my family/myself,, your not alone..

 

We are currently trying to tie up all our finances,, and save some $$ to buy land..

and hopefully before the kids are all grown up! LOL

post #15 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by rightkindofme View Post

I have actually found a playgroup through MDC and we are doing a LOT to help each other.  We often hang out at one persons help to help with childcare while the host mama does work.  :)  It's rather awesome.  And my best friend is moving in with us this summer.  I'm so excited I can barely stand it!  I will get HELP!  HALLELUJAH


How did you find this?! I would love that. Mamas just aren't meant to do this alone.

 

post #16 of 55

Yes. Yes. YES!

I just think about how much healthier our children could be raised in a village setting, let alone how much better off we, as parents, would be! We are absolutely not meant to do this alone. I spend a portion of every day, even if it's sub-consciously, dreaming and thinking of how to make the village manifest in our life. Haven't hit upon it yet, but I am staying open to possibilities.

 

DID YOU HEAR THAT, UNIVERSE? I AM OPEN!!

post #17 of 55

i'm scared my kids will be grown and i will have piddled away this incarnation dreaming of how i really wanted to live..... however, how to make manifest in the near future? how?  We're looking at having teenagers by the time we are out of debt and can save some money to buy land.  ugghhh.... wishing for a miracle!

post #18 of 55

DH has agreed to a trial in a cohousing community.  There is a bit of a wait, but we're making steps to get there.  DH and I are both fairly private, but there is a difference between wanting to have some private time and wanting to live in a bubble.  I want out of the bubble. 

 

post #19 of 55

Intentional Communities already in place listed by geographic region

 

http://directory.ic.org/iclist/geo.php

post #20 of 55

****sigh****  I thought we were going to have something similar at one time, but it was mostly my dreaming, I suppose.  Just wasn't the right fit.  We need a family who is secure and ready to work.  I've got the land, the goats, the rabbits, chickens, guineas, bees, quail, ducks, the garden, the canning equipment, a couple of dehydrators, etc., and an empty house next door, but no decent people looking at it.

 

I hear you mamas (and daddies!)!

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