Do you keep track of who called who last?

[momtoS]

My mother told me today to call my brother, that he thinks it has been too long since my last call. I have two children, I am pregnant went through hyperemesis and many other issues. He is currently unemployed with no kids. I told her that he could call me too.

He told her that he called me last so it is my turn.

Seriously? Do people keep track off things like this?

[Arduinna]

wierd. I think he has too much time on his hands.

[Hedgehog Mtn]

My MIL does. I have 5 kids, I'm 28 wks pg, hand milk our family cow, keep over a dozen pigs, homeschool etc etc. My SIL's relationship with us is already strained (and geez she's my sil not even blood relative to *me*) and if I don't initiate the call on time and in turn I hear about it. Sil is childless and works for the family biz.

So yeah. Totally not reasonable but happens.

[Chamomile Girl]

I keep track of things like this.  For phone and e-mail.  But its mostly because I have huge phone anxiety and if its not my turn eff it!

[nola79]

Ummm, no. Wierd.

[Alyantavid]

The only time I keep track of calls like is with my dad.  But we have major issues so...Normally, I don't.

[laohaire]

Does your brother really care about the calls? I'm sure some brothers do, but I'm having a hard time imagining it, lol! I picture your mother talking to him and saying "have you talked with your sister lately" and he just fobbed off responsibility on to you rather than sound like he never calls you.

For the record, my DH only calls his sister if he hears of some issue going on with her. Likewise, she never calls here unless there's something going on. No lack of love or anything, they care about each other, but DH at least doesn't express family love via gabbing on the phone.

[sapphire_chan]

Argh.

Waaaaayyy too much time on his hands.

OTOH, if he's feeling bad enough about this to whine to your mom, maybe more is going on? Maybe he's feeling neglected and unloved because of the unemployment thing or something?

Does he have a history of this kind of passive aggressive tattling? If it's a new thing, I'd just call him up and ask how he's doing. If he's done this sort of BS in the past, I'd call him when/if it was convenient and I felt like it, just like I would've done without him being a whiny baby.

[momtoS]

I didn't know that there is a *turn taking* to phone calls.....gosh I have called people when it is not my turn and they have called when it is not their turn. Gosh.....I didn't know relationships worked like this???????

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

I keep track of things like this.  For phone and e-mail.  But its mostly because I have huge phone anxiety and if its not my turn eff it!

[limabean]

Goodness, no. I couldn't tell you who called who last with any of my friends or family. 

With people I don't know well, like if a friendship is just starting out or something, I might feel awkward about calling too many times in a row, but it seems awfully strange to keep track of that with your sibling. 

[mamalisa]

I don't have that kind of time. I don't keep score in life either. My mom did that and all her relationships were constant scorekeeping about money, time, effort, visits, phone calls, ECG. Just crazy.

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by momtoS 

I didn't know that there is a *turn taking* to phone calls.....gosh I have called people when it is not my turn and they have called when it is not their turn. Gosh.....I didn't know relationships worked like this???????

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

I keep track of things like this.  For phone and e-mail.  But its mostly because I have huge phone anxiety and if its not my turn eff it!

 

Its not about relationships, its about talking on the phone.  I hate it.  I think I would rather go to the dentist than talk on the phone.  So you are free to call out of turn all you like but I will do the bare minimum to keep people off my back thankyouverymuch.

ETA:  Mocking someone with an admitted anxiety issue is rude at best.
 

[neetling]

I do on occasion.  If I have tried to call someone several times and don't hear back, I stop calling. Family, friends or whatever.

[Catubodua]

i can't imagine a scenario where any of my brothers would care about whether i called or not (not that they don't care about me, but they aren't gabby phone people), so i'm having a hard time picturing this.

[broodymama]

No, definitely not.  Then again, my brother and I live on opposite sides of the country and mainly keep in touch online, we don't have much of a phone type of relationship.  I hate talking on the phone.

[laohaire]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

Originally Posted by momtoS 

I didn't know that there is a *turn taking* to phone calls.....gosh I have called people when it is not my turn and they have called when it is not their turn. Gosh.....I didn't know relationships worked like this???????

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

I keep track of things like this.  For phone and e-mail.  But its mostly because I have huge phone anxiety and if its not my turn eff it!

 

Its not about relationships, its about talking on the phone.  I hate it.  I think I would rather go to the dentist than talk on the phone.  So you are free to call out of turn all you like but I will do the bare minimum to keep people off my back thankyouverymuch.

ETA:  Mocking someone with an admitted anxiety issue is rude at best.
 

I can't really answer for momtoS but I read her reply as being an expression of an anxiety of her own, rather than a mocking of yours. Who knows though. All I can say is that I sympathize with BOTH anxieties - hate talking on the phone AND often feel bewildered by social expectations.

[Drummer's Wife]

I have never kept track of who called last - though my DH is weird like that and does so w/his dad (uses it as an excuse not to call him - not the best relationship there).

I hope others don't - my sister calls me 99% ofthe time, just to say hi and see how it's going. I kinda count on it, to stay in touch with her (besides FB and emails as we live out-of-state). Maybe I should be the one to call, though like others I really don't like talking on the phone. It's definitely not my preferred method of communication.

[onlyzombiecat]

It depends on the relationship. There are some relationships where I would be unhappy if it seemed like I was always the one to call (or write or e-mail or travel for visits). There are some people where I would call without ever expecting the other person to call me.

I called my mom every Sunday and never was upset that I was always the one calling her. It was easier for me to call her when I was free than for her to catch me at the right moment.

OP- Maybe your brother is weird about keeping track of who called last or maybe he wants to talk to you but isn't sure when is a good time to call.

[Sol_y_Paz]

I know many who do.  I can't play it. 

[JTA Mom]

Depends. I don't usually do the whole 1:1 keeping track, but I notice it when I am the one doing the majority of the calls. It's natural for it to be imbalanced at times, but if I'm the one usually reaching out.....

That said, I've found since having kids that talking on the phone is not as fun. Unless conversations like "that sounds like fun, I'd love to....honey, stop climbing the bookshelf. NOW. Argh (hear walking, then a toddler screeching as I pull him off the bookshelf. Next 3 min of conversation has the lovely background of angry toddler)....rinse lather repeat.

lol

I prefer texting or email though. One, I can take my time putting together a message. So if, say, someone is having a melt down or the other has decided to go on a marathon nursing spree, I can save it as a draft and then go back to it. Less pressure. And, two, I don't have to watch the conversation topics. Some things a 3 year old should not be listening too, kwim? But since he can't read yet, it's ok.

Ami