HELLP I have a 10mo old baby and 9wk old dog

[jak123]

Hi there-

Recently our family was blessed with a baby girl 10mos ago, and i was very happy for my family given all of the difficulty it took to have her after 2 yrs of medical help. My other daughter of 9yrs old was very happy as well but without getting into too many details....we broke down and got her a dog. We got her a white 9wk old lab. Am i crazy? or just a mother trying to provide for her family? Maybe so, but hes here. My problem is now that my daughter goes off to school, I am left to walk this pee/poop-machine every hour or so. The weather here is very cold, and i cant keep bundling up the baby to take her out there (whos just getting over being sick). We also dont want to allow him to "do his business" in our fenced in backyard. The kids play back there, and we dont want to set this precedent. For now we are walking him out the back gate to expell, while i try to leave the baby in a safe place. Im afraid I may come back to find her harmed. Does anyone have suggestions? Please help!

[nkintzel]

Oh boy.

Yes. You are crazy! I'm sorry!!! I say that in the most loving way! You are setting yourself up for a LOT of work. If you don't want the dog to poop in the yard, where do you take him? Also, did you look at the needs of Labs? They are working dogs. They have a LOT of energy. They are bred for going out on a hunt, chasing down ducks and bringing them back. They need to swim, they need to play fetch. They need a LOT of attention.

I don't want to sit her and lecture you! I've just done a TON of dog rescue, fostering, worked at humane societies...and I can see that you are setting yourself up for a bad situation. If you are responsible for the dog and don't want to be...then you will not give him everything he needs and you will resent him. A 9 year old kid CANNOT be responsible for a dog. Its just how it is. You are the adult and bringing a dog into the home has to be something that YOU want. Basically, think of this as your pet, not your daughter's. Would you have gotten the dog if it weren't for your child? If the answer is no, then you probably should start looking for a good home for the dog.

Besides, how long can you leave your baby while you walk this dog? That is SO not safe!!! How do you leave a 10 month old alone?

It just sounds to me like there are a LOT of factors that make you not ideal for a dog at this point in your life.

1. You don't want the dog to go in the yard

2. You have a young child

3. You seem to resent the dog

[SubliminalDarkness]

Yep, crazy. Crazy crazy. lol. Really, I was overwhelmed taking on a puppy when my son was 3 years old. I would have to say, it just doesn't strike me as good timing at all. 

And why don't you want your dog pooping in the backyard? IMO, that's what backyards are for when you have a dog, and why there is often a criteria with rescues that new owners have a fenced in backyard. Will you not allow the dog to play offleash in the backyard, either? Because that activity will often result in a poop. Yes, you are going to quickly grow tired of having to put your baby someplace alone and then bundling up to take the dog out to do it's business, especially when you have a yard right there where you could just let him go.

Personally, I would strongly consider returning the dog to who you got him from. Or at the VERY least, lightening up about the backyard thing. And be very wary of the baby and the puppy together. The puppy likely won't mean any harm, but your baby could easily get badly hurt. Puppies and babies, while cute together, are not a good combination. 

[jak123]

Thank you for your responses. My husband and I both grew up with dogs, and while I agree I may have been too aggressive in getting one, i cant just give him away. It would break my daughters heart. I guess we have no option but to let him poop in the backyard for now. Hopefully when he is trained, and the weather improves I can take the baby with me more easily.

Should I get a wire runner for him? I'm hopeless.....

[SubliminalDarkness]

Why a wire runner if your yard is fenced in? Unless you intend to leave him outside for long periods unattended and you think he may dig out, I don't see the advantage. 

[chr157y]

I know people who have trained dogs to go in only 1 part of their yard.  I believe you can use a spray to sort of mark where you want them to go??  It would probably take a lot of work, but it would be a good compromise in the long run.

I also think it may be good to find another home for him, maybe a relative would want him.  We had a lab/shepard mix, and I got him out of our house.  He had a medical conditioned that caused him to vomit all over multiple times a day.  Between that, stealing food, filthy paws, and the hair, it was just a mess.  He moved in with our inlaws, so my son and husband still get to see him.  We are now left with our wonderful little yorkie-poo who is nice and clean.... a much more family friendly dog.

[jak123]

Yes I think he probably could

[jcent]

Originally Posted by jak123 

Thank you for your responses. My husband and I both grew up with dogs, and while I agree I may have been too aggressive in getting one, i cant just give him away. It would break my daughters heart. I guess we have no option but to let him poop in the backyard for now. Hopefully when he is trained, and the weather improves I can take the baby with me more easily.

Should I get a wire runner for him? I'm hopeless.....

I have a 1 year old and we just got another puppy for Christmas too!  A golden retriever!  I am just as nuts as you are, lol!  And I am totally feeling overwhelmed.  To help create some control, we use puppy training sheets, just in case there are any accidents, or in case I can't take her out when she needs to.  After just over a week now, she is doing well with the training sheets.  We do let her go in the backyard though, and she is very good about peeing out there every time I take her out.   I also leave my shoes by the door, and a big blanket.  Every 30 mins I bundle me and the babe up and we all head outside so puppy can pee.  We live in Southern Alberta, so it is COLD!  If it feels like it is getting too crazy, I babygate the kitchen and keep puppy in there and baby out of there, so I can do whatever it is I need to do without worrying that the puppy will scratch or bite my child.  We also have a 2 year old puppy, so we just finished a lot of training with her. That said, I would enroll in puppy classes ASAP.  Just make sure you find a class with a humane trainer.  So many "trainers" these day use the Dog Whisperer techniques and have no clue as to what they are actually doing.  Good luck!  It will be ok though.  Within the next few weeks, it will start to get so much easier.  :)

[tzs]

oh yeah....crazy nuts. sorry. a lab is a very high energy, very strong physically, and sometimes (sorry to all the lab owners out there.....sorry.....) not the smartest breed out there. 

for sure give up the yard...at least for now. when it gets warmer out you can concentrate on him going in a specific part of the yard (or taking him out.) it shouldn't be too hard as they seem to do it anyway pretty naturally. and when he's older he should only have to be taken out a few times a day. you could probably manage the am, afternoon, evening routine much better. don't worry about setting a precedent. he's not a kid. if you don't want him going in the yard anymore at any point you can just put him on a leash and go.

the energy level is going to be another issue though, especially as he gets bigger. i would do the yard but if you decide not to you'll either have to commit to taking him to a dog park almost everyday (which is totally doable with a baby and kind of fun) or look into a doggy daycare. the daycare wouldn't even have to be everyday. it really wears them out, but for a lab if you go that route it might have to be 3 times a week and that can add up financially.

i would really give yourself the freedom to decide that it isn't working after you give it a shot and not to feel bad about it. you have to do not only what's right for the family but also what's right for the dog. i have an older pitbull mix that at this point in his life is pretty much a couch potato but when i got pregnant with dd i also had an australian cattle dog mix. he had really high-needs for exercise and was also very stubborn. he could go all day while i was at work without peeing but i could come home and take him out and then an hour later he'd have gone in the house....just to show me he was bored and pissed. he just needed more attention than i could give him and i knew that if i couldn;t do it then that it would only get worse with a baby so i took him to a no-kill shelter with specific instructions on his needs with the hopes that he found the owner that he really needed. it just wasn't fair to him to keep him.

hope you find the answers you need. if you do decide to give him up it doesn't have to mean that you will never own a dog. there are breeds and mixes out there that are much better suited for a less active life with less human attention.

[crunchy_mommy]

This is a tough situation. I had to rehome our family dog not long ago because he was too rough with my toddler. He was fine until DS started really crawling & walking... so beware of the potential for aggression as your 10mo gets older.

I would agree with the pp's that if you can find him a good home, you will all be better off... it's a hard, heart-breaking thing to have to tell your DD, but you can be honest with her & say you made a mistake, the dog is more work than you anticipated and you need to find it a new home and you can try getting a dog again when the baby is older.... better now than later, when she's even more attached to the dog...

Otherwise, if you're not willing to go that route, yeah let him into the backyard. You or DH could go out there once or twice a day to clean up the yard... better yet, send DD to do it, since it's her dog... 

[Tjej]

Since the puppy is still only 9wks old it'd really be in everyone's best interest if you would consider rehoming.  It really isn't a good time in your life to have a puppy.

If you are not willing to rehome, then get your DD to scoop poop every day when she comes home from school, and find a good bunting for your 10 month old for walking the dog.  You really can't leave a kid that age alone.  If they are sleeping in their crib and you go out back, sure, but if they are awake?  Kids are sooo creative and have no idea what is dangerous and what is not.

Tjej

[jak123]

I thank you all for your advice, but to those who think we should give up, unfortunately we wont. We're going to tough it out, and take some of the kind suggestions you have made to make this work. It may not be a perfect situation but hes part of my family now and i cant let him or them down. Here in NJ the snow is slowing down his activity level but he is getting plenty of love in doors. All the best!

[dalia]

Have you thought of building a dog run for him to do his business in? Maybe you could even somehow make it to where there could be an entrance to it right from your front door (probably wishful thinking)? You can get a pooped scooper and have the 9 year old clean up the poo before playing outside. It's just part of owning a dog (or have DP do it lol).

Yeah, we dog people are nuts sometimes. But I totally get what you are saying to those who are telling you to rehome him. You made a commitment to him and to your DD and now he is part of the family. We have two ridiculous little dogs that we have spent thousands of dollars on (medical issues) and who try our patience every single day. But what can I say? We love 'em.

[dalia]

I meant back door lol. No one wants a dog run attached to their front door!

[New_Natural_Mom]

Yes, you are crazy IMO.  Labs are notoriously *crazy* for years - think chewing on everything, getting into things, running, jumping, etc.  IMO a 9 yo is not necessarily equipped to be responsible for a dog.  I wouldn't be able to manage the situation you describe.  As a matter of fact, we had to rehome our 2 dogs (7 & 6 yo once our some was about 15 mos b/c I just couldn't manage it all.)

Good luck!

[tinuviel_k]

Ooooh... that is a hard one. We got a puppy this September (she's 6 months old now) and it was hard with a 7 year old!

The difficult part for us at first was training the pup to behave with our daughter. That ceased to an issue after the first two months, but we worked our butts off. By the time she was 4 months old the pup quit trying to take down our daughter in a rampage of puppy play. We used crate training, supervision, and lots of other tricks to make sure puppy behaved with our daughter. However, my dog is not a jumper and Labs tend to be. You might consider asking a trainer about some preemptive techniques that you can have on hand for when your pup is bigger and starts to jump and play rough.

The first two months were the most challenging because the pup required CONSTANT supervision and very consistent training and socialization. She had to go out every hour to potty, and even in the back yard I always needed to go with her (when it is cold or wet she wants to stay by the back door and not go). Nothing could be left on the floor because she might get in to it, constant redirection from my daughter's toys, the edge of the carpet and rugs, the table legs, and who knows what else. I can only imagine what this must be like with a baby. If you have not started crate training then you might strongly consider doing so. My pup adores her crate, and it is a tool that has really helped keep the pup safe as well as our daughter and the house when I need to leave the pup unsupervised for a short time.

Challenge #1 (especially with a lab) is going to be getting your pup enough exercise (physical and mental) to keep her from getting into lots of trouble at home. For a young, energetic lab pup short walks just are not going to do the trick. What she will really need is rough-and-tumble puppy-play. As the months go on and she is up to date on parvo shots you might see if you can arrange "puppy play dates." Once she is at least 4 months old you might take her to a dog park if you have one. Your baby can go on your back for an hour while the pup runs herself ragged. The dog park is our very best friend. :-)

My dog has slightly "lower than usual' puppy exercise requirements, I'd say. She is maybe half as energetic as the labs I've had in the past. She needs at least one, preferably two good exercise sessions a day to maintain good behavior. For her (at age 6 months) a good exercise session is a one-hour off-leash walk (longer for an on-leash walk), 45 minutes of hard play at the dog park, or 2+ mile hike in the woods.

My husband usually takes her for an hour walk in the early morning (6:30am) before work. That usually settles her down enough that I can get my daughter ready and off to school, run a few errands, or get stuff done around the house. Then sometime in the early afternoon I take her to the dog park or on a hike. Splitting the exercise responsibility really helps me cope with puppy energy.


Good luck, and enjoy your pup! People think I'm crazy, but I love having a puppy.
Edited by tinuviel_k - 1/4/11 at 2:21pm

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by jak123 

I thank you all for your advice, but to those who think we should give up, unfortunately we wont. We're going to tough it out, and take some of the kind suggestions you have made to make this work. It may not be a perfect situation but hes part of my family now and i cant let him or them down. Here in NJ the snow is slowing down his activity level but he is getting plenty of love in doors. All the best!

I get what you're saying, I'm just pointing out that as hard as it is to think of rehoming him NOW when you just got him, imagine how hard it would be in 6mos or a year or two if things still aren't working out. I hope you don't take offense to the suggestion. You will just have to make a lot of sacrifices/compromises to make this work, and you'll have to find some way to keep your DD safe, and get the dog enough exercise... it will be hard & it will probably continue to be hard for a while before it gets easier. I miss my dog like crazy -- we had him for years & he was my first 'baby' -- but we simply weren't able to make it work (the safety issues, that is) and a lot of people gave me a lot of grief for choosing to give up. Maybe I AM a horrible person for being naive & having life deal us an unexpected hand, but I wish at least one person told me that it really IS okay to find a new, loving home for your pet if that's what is in the best interest of the pet & the rest of the family.

Check out the pets forum, there is always great advice there!!

[tzs]

Originally Posted by jak123 

I thank you all for your advice, but to those who think we should give up, unfortunately we wont. We're going to tough it out, and take some of the kind suggestions you have made to make this work. It may not be a perfect situation but hes part of my family now and i cant let him or them down. Here in NJ the snow is slowing down his activity level but he is getting plenty of love in doors. All the best!

same here...i hope you didn't take offense. i don't necessarily think you should straight up get rid of the dog....there are things that you can work out to try to make it work. i just meant to give yourself the freedom to make any decision you need to in the future without feeling any guilt. i've been on both sides. i gave up the one dog when i became pregnant with dd but on the other hand i gave up an apartment and then a place to sleep and was homeless for weeks until i had to move back home....just to keep dog #1. it's really tough either way. good luck!

[jcent]

Good for you! Pets are a ton of work...but so are kids.  As I mentioned we just got another puppy too, and as hard as it is, she is family now and here to stay.  It us making me rethink another baby anytime soon though.  :)

Originally Posted by jak123 

I thank you all for your advice, but to those who think we should give up, unfortunately we wont. We're going to tough it out, and take some of the kind suggestions you have made to make this work. It may not be a perfect situation but hes part of my family now and i cant let him or them down. Here in NJ the snow is slowing down his activity level but he is getting plenty of love in doors. All the best!

[SubliminalDarkness]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

I get what you're saying, I'm just pointing out that as hard as it is to think of rehoming him NOW when you just got him, imagine how hard it would be in 6mos or a year or two if things still aren't working out. I hope you don't take offense to the suggestion. You will just have to make a lot of sacrifices/compromises to make this work, and you'll have to find some way to keep your DD safe, and get the dog enough exercise... it will be hard & it will probably continue to be hard for a while before it gets easier. I miss my dog like crazy -- we had him for years & he was my first 'baby' -- but we simply weren't able to make it work (the safety issues, that is) and a lot of people gave me a lot of grief for choosing to give up. Maybe I AM a horrible person for being naive & having life deal us an unexpected hand, but I wish at least one person told me that it really IS okay to find a new, loving home for your pet if that's what is in the best interest of the pet & the rest of the family.

Check out the pets forum, there is always great advice there!!

It really IS ok to find a new, loving home for your pet if that's what's in the best interest of the pet and the rest of the family. Really. You made the right choice. I've made hard decisions with pets, too(rehoming once and also putting one dog down) and even though I've gotten grief for it, I KNOW we made the right choice. It was very hard on DS1 to have to put the family dog to sleep, but he also understands that it was the right choice for the dog as well as us.