Well, here's a complain-y type of thread to help pass the time until D-day....
My issue with my family is quite minor, I'm sure, compared to a lot of you. I learned with my last birth that family members of the pregnant women often (completely erroneously) believe they have the right to be involved with a birth. With my last birth I wasn't close at all with my dad or step-mother, so I've no idea why she thought they'd be at the birth (at least in a waiting room area) and staying at a hotel nearby for a couple days afterward. Uh, no thanks, I put the kibosh on that. I would rather give birth by myself in a cave than have either one of them in the same building while I'm in labor. In fact, I don't even want them KNOWING when I am in labor, this time either. It just makes me feel very uncomfortable. They wanted to be notified last time when I went into labor, but we ignored that request. My step-mom again requested that we call them when I go into labor this time, and I cannot fathom why on earth they would need to have that info. She said they need to know so they can inform their workplaces that they will be out for a couple days. Well, since they don't need to show up at my door the second I get home from the birth center, I think they can wait to be notified until AFTER the birth, and after me, DH, and DS have had a good opportunity to cuddle and spend time together. I don't have any desire to keep them from meeting their new grandson, and they really are great grandparents and wonderfully giving people. I just don't see the need to for them to know when I'm in labor. DH and I learned last time that it's a very bad idea to have family come over immediately after the baby is born (duh.) Actually, my family wasn't the problem last time, but my MIL was. She came from out of state right after DS was born, and I ended up very upset because she was holding DS too much. I felt very primal about keeping my baby with me. No, I do not need someone else to hold the baby while I take a nap or do anything else. That's why I have a baby carrier. She's also a lovely woman, but I don't need another mother figure trying to hog my baby right after he's been born. MIL won't be coming out to see the baby until the summer, which she is fine with. I am also *extremely* uncomfortable breastfeeding in front of my family. With DS I always went in another room to do it. I'm not looking forward to that part of their visit, either.
Birth is such an intensely personal event. When people invite themselves to be a part of it in some way, I feel like that's akin to asking if they can watch you have sex. I don't think it's EVER appropriate to assume you will be a part of a birth. I guess that since birth has moved into the hospitals it has become a public and medicalized event where the feelings of the woman are ignored. Really, what my step-mom is asking for sounds very minor, but I still feel it's an infringement on my right to birth in private. I do get very, very angry when I read about how some ladies on Mothering are treated by their family as if their birth is a public peep show. That just burns me up and makes me want to yell at those obnoxious and pushy folks 
. Thankfully for this situation my family lives hours away and I have the option of turning all of the phones off. They will be informed that the baby has arrived safely once we are all back home and have gotten comfy, and there will be no invited guests for at least a week. The closer I am getting to birthing this LO the more protective I am getting of our "safety bubble" (my family is toxic and my friends are negative/unsupportive) and I am not going to feel even a little bit guilty about keeping this time to ourselves.
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