Its a long story, but here are the important parts:
My brother in law is an alcoholic, my sister (and my best friend) is in denial of this. BIL has acted inappropriately several times (yelling at my kids, slapping my daughters hand for reaching across the dinner table, etc). I have never really revealed my true feelings about him to her in fear of alienating her from me.
Sunday BIL SCREAMED at the top of his lungs at my 2 year old DS for not listening when my sister was telling him to stop playing with a lamp at my dads house. The poor kids immediately burst into tears he was SO scared. My husband came flying out of the bathroom and screamed at BIL to never ever speak to his son that way, and basically freaked out on him saying that it was not his job to discipline our kids. Could he have handled it a little differently? Maybe, but it was really pure parental instinct because of how BIL is.
What followed is horrifying and included BIL calling my son a "little f-ing a-hole" who needs to be spanked, calling my husband a "Pu$$y who cant even discipline his own kids" telling us we are "liberal f---s who arent ever allowed in his home, and that we should go f--k ourselves and that we have terrors for children.
Anyway, this isnt the first time he got drunk and played the name calling game- he just recently did this to my sister, calling her a loser for going to bed at 11 on a saturday, told her shes a c**t and a b***h.
WELL MY SISTER DEFENDED all of this!!!!! Kept blaming it on my "undisciplined kids" and how they rule our lives and dont listen. It would have been one thing if everything ended after BILs outburst. I could have forgiven someone for losing his cool as a childless person around toddlers. I CANNOT forgive the horrible things he said to me and my family, and I will not allow him around my children, and my sister is choosing him. I never expected her to leave him, but I also never expected her to stand by these actions. They were just married in August. I am so hurt and dont know how I can possibly not have my sister in my life, or how she could be anything but mortified at her husbands actions.
I am choosing my children over my sister, and it is SO unfair that I have to :(