It's the dead of winter, so we're not spending hours outside like we used to. DH is currently (unexpectedly) unemployed so he's home during the day & helping me with DS & chores, which is great but leaves me not knowing what to do with myself. We only have one kid, and though he's very intense/high-needs, he's also very well-behaved & organized so it's not like I spend all day chasing & cleaning up after him and stuff, mostly we just read to him all day, take him to the library, etc. The house definitely could use some attention (remodeling & some cleaning) but I am too tired from the erratic night-waking (23mo DS still wakes up every hour or more often some nights, and my body has just gotten into the habit of frequent waking even when he randomly sleeps 4 hours straight.) I WAH 20 hours a week but it's really slow right now, plus I hate the job & get no enjoyment from it (hoping to quit altogether once DH finds a job). I've been trying to schedule more playdates and things like that but everyone was so busy with the holidays & it's taking some time to get back into the swing of things. We want a second baby, which I'm sure would keep me busy, but it's been a year+ of TTC & still, nothing.
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Don't get me wrong, many days I feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day, and often I'm overwhelmed by just caring for DS. I guess what I'm really missing is a sense of personal fulfillment... maybe a hobby or something... something that doesn't zap all my energy or require an hour straight of devoted attention... I don't know. I guess I'm one of those people that gets all my energy from being around others (despite me being very shy/introverted!) and I don't know what to do when it's just me, DS, & DH, hanging around the house. I feel compelled to fill the time so I go online or sometimes watch TV, but I don't like spending so many hours just wasting away my time. Anyone else share these feelings? Anyone found some ways to conquer them???
