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Wanting But Waiting Tribe - 2011 - Page 8

post #141 of 505

babies are in my face now too. it frustrates me. i want another. i know why i am waiting and i am fine with that. but 2 friends recently gave birth and now 2 more friends just announced their pregnancies. ahhhhh that should be me. <insert whine here>  i want another so bad.

post #142 of 505

Aww, big hug2.gifs to all of you having a tough time right now. I'm mostly handling waiting pretty well because I am pretty positive DS would do better with a bigger gap, especially when we have days like today where he's nursing a LOT. I'm going to be taking a doula training workshop this weekend though, and am flying home to MN to be with two of my friends who are expecting in April, though, so I'm steeling myself for renewed baby fever instead of the low-grade squishy yearning I'm able to maintain right now.

 

I just try to tell myself that my time will come if I'm patient, and rushing things wouldn't be best for our family. Time goes so quickly now with a toddler; I'd like to savor it a bit more. But that doesn't stop me from sometimes wishing I were pregnant! om.gif

post #143 of 505

I'm going to join in the venting about everyone having babies!! I know that two more months isn't that long, but everyone around me is pregnant or just had babies, and it's just making me a tiny bit sad that we're waiting. Especially when I see people who are totally unprepared/on drugs/living out of their car being like "Hurray! I'm pregnant! I'm so excited! But brb, I have to go smoke..." Cuss.gif  I'm almost annoyed at myself for trying to be responsible about this and waiting. I know it's best for me, DH, future babies, but sometimes I just....wish I wasn't being so levelheaded about timing. And there is still that tiny little part of me that gets disappointed when AF arrives.

 

 

It also doesnt help that everyone I talk to keeps asking "So, when are you having kids?" And when I give a semi-noncommittal "Well, I'm still in school, and we've got our trip coming up soon, and I don't know what I'm doing after school (which is a lie), so we're waiting until we feel the time is right for us." They get all excited and try to convince me that I should change my timeline "Oh, you should just start trying now. Morning sickness isnt that bad! You can finish school while pregnant!" It's like, I'm sorry, do you honestly think you want me to be pregnant more than I want me to be pregnant? I think not!! But I'm committed to waiting until I'm done with this semester, and I don't want to take the risk of being miserable when I'm overseas! And it's like everyone is expecting that we're going to have zero problems conceiving (even though they know my sister had several miscarriages), I don't want anyone in real life to know when we're actively trying, because then there will be even more pressure!!

 

</rant>

post #144 of 505

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster.  DH has been working on the taxes and lamenting the fact that we won't have another tax deduction by next year.  Then, DD got sick, and I exclusively breastfed her for a day, so I'm glad I still had a full milk supply for her.

post #145 of 505
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brighids Flame View Post

 

It also doesnt help that everyone I talk to keeps asking "So, when are you having kids?" And when I give a semi-noncommittal "Well, I'm still in school, and we've got our trip coming up soon, and I don't know what I'm doing after school (which is a lie), so we're waiting until we feel the time is right for us." They get all excited and try to convince me that I should change my timeline "Oh, you should just start trying now. Morning sickness isnt that bad! You can finish school while pregnant!" It's like, I'm sorry, do you honestly think you want me to be pregnant more than I want me to be pregnant? I think not!! But I'm committed to waiting until I'm done with this semester, and I don't want to take the risk of being miserable when I'm overseas! And it's like everyone is expecting that we're going to have zero problems conceiving (even though they know my sister had several miscarriages), I don't want anyone in real life to know when we're actively trying, because then there will be even more pressure!!

 

</rant>

I don't blame you at all for waiting!  I am in school too, and even though I really want to start trying now, I am waiting until the baby would be due after I am graduated next May.  And the only reason that I am not waiting to TRY until I graduate is that my DS is 4 now, and I am trying to narrow the gap as much as possible.  If I didn't have any kids yet, I would definitely be just waiting until I was graduated and had a steady job and all that..

 

post #146 of 505

So my husband decided he now wants to wait until november before we try. I am disappointed. I do have a glimmer of hope, we had an opps moment today. I normally would be ovulating on the 14th of this month. Last time we had an opps it was 5 days before i ovulated and i got pregnant (ended with a miscarriage). I am really crossing my fingers, it will be so hard waiting until november. My husband would be totally fine with an opps he is just afraid to actually plan something as huge as having a baby.

post #147 of 505

IKWYM. DH seems pretty reckless sometimes, like he's okay with an oops, yet talks like he's really not ready.  I don't get it.

post #148 of 505

Gator-Mom, I can totally understand wanting the age difference to be as small as possible, and I think that if it were my second or third I'd be less reluctant. I guess part of it is that I don't know what pregnancy is like for me. I might be one of those people who doesn't get nauseous at all, or I might be the type that can't even think about food without vomiting, and I don't want to take that risk. Plus my classes are really labor-intensive this semester, so they're high-stress and I occasionally need to pull all-nighters to get things done. I don't want to do that to my body (and thus my baby) while pregnant. I'm getting more excited about our honeymoon as it gets closer, so whenever I start yearning to start sooner I'm just focusing on that. I'm feeling a lot better today than I was, but I'm seeing friends with a 6 week old tomorrow, so that will probably set me back a bit winky.gif

post #149 of 505



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by justKate View Post

IKWYM. DH seems pretty reckless sometimes, like he's okay with an oops, yet talks like he's really not ready.  I don't get it.



I know exactly what you mean, it is like a rollarcoster.

 

post #150 of 505
Lord above, I have baby fever. It's totally irrational -- I really don't want to try until DD is at least a year, since I don't want it to affect breastfeeding at all (and I'm not even fertile and who knows when I will be), but there's a part of me that's just not rational about it. So I'm wanting, but waiting at the very least 3 more months, and with my job (teaching) it would be much more prudent to wait 6 months to try, and then I've been having fantasies about making a career change, but that plan would put off TTC for another year and a half. It's hard! It's especially hard because IRL, it seems as though people don't understand at all why I'm having a hard time waiting. "You want another one already?!?" while other friends are pregnant and having babies now -- I'm planning one baby shower for a friend and going to another this weekend.
post #151 of 505

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day82110 View Post

So my husband decided he now wants to wait until november before we try. I am disappointed. I do have a glimmer of hope, we had an opps moment today. I normally would be ovulating on the 14th of this month. Last time we had an opps it was 5 days before i ovulated and i got pregnant (ended with a miscarriage). I am really crossing my fingers, it will be so hard waiting until november. My husband would be totally fine with an opps he is just afraid to actually plan something as huge as having a baby.


DH keeps saying that we have to wait until we are past a certain point with our budget before we can try and that might not be in August (like our unofficial plan is) and every time he says that I feel devastated. I'm guessing we'll at least be close enough to start trying then (and I'm persistent so he probably won't resist. :-P), but it hurts when he talks about waiting longer. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by justKate View Post

IKWYM. DH seems pretty reckless sometimes, like he's okay with an oops, yet talks like he's really not ready.  I don't get it.


I had a conversation with my friend one night after DH decided to be a little bit risky in the moment after saying that he wouldn't be happy if we got pregnant at the moment. Her response was that men are horny and it's hard to think when you're horny. So, sadly, I'd say go with what he's saying rather than doing. 

 

post #152 of 505
Quote:
Originally Posted by Day82110 View Post

So my husband decided he now wants to wait until november before we try. I am disappointed. I do have a glimmer of hope, we had an opps moment today. I normally would be ovulating on the 14th of this month. Last time we had an opps it was 5 days before i ovulated and i got pregnant (ended with a miscarriage). I am really crossing my fingers, it will be so hard waiting until november. My husband would be totally fine with an opps he is just afraid to actually plan something as huge as having a baby.


Exciting! Please keep us posted!  We are also waiting until Nov, but I would be okay with an "oops"...except that I just bought my wedding dress for October, and I would kinda like to fit in it :)
 

 

post #153 of 505

I definitely will keep you girls posted. So we had another opps moment again (i think he does want a baby, because he is normally really careful) the opps was three days before ovulation so i am crossing my fingers :). He wont come near me now that i am sure i will be ovulating tomorrow because that is too much like trying. I wish it didnt have to be a game like this. He tells me not until november but then he is careless so close to ovulation, but i guess if that is what he needs, lets just hope i am super fertile and he has super sperm :).  I wish all the ladies who really want a baby looking for an opps to stick (including me), just that. Because it will be horrible waiting until november or longer for some of you.

post #154 of 505

So in the spirit of biding time until the time comes that I can "try", I am trying to come up with a plan to get my body in super health by the end of the summer.  I want to do a cleanse and was wondering if anyone else is planning on doing a pre-pregnancy cleanse and if you guys have any recommendations?

post #155 of 505

I had a friend send me the link to this forum, huge thanks to her.

 

I have crazy baby fever, have had it for  few months now...fiance wants to wait at least three more years, but meanwhile tons of friends and family members are pregnant/planning on getting pregnant and it makes me want to cry everytime I have to discuss someone else's pregnancy, knowing I have to wait.

post #156 of 505

Welcome Mollie!

 

DH an I are thinking of your name if we have another girl lol.

post #157 of 505

Can I join?  I lurk on this thread every now and then.  I was hoping we would be ready to TTC around May or June  but just found out I have a few amalgams that are in bad shape and need to be replaced. I want to do some detox after that before TTC and I"m not sure how long I will need to wait after that.  DS is almost 5.  I totally thought we would have another by now but with some health issues that need to be addressed and then school and now I'm starting my own business..it just keeps getting put off.  Hopefully, after the teeth, we will really do it.

post #158 of 505
Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

Welcome Mollie!

 

DH an I are thinking of your name if we have another girl lol.


Mollie is actually my cat's name, lol. My name is Jen. I do love the name Mollie though :)

I have my kids names picked out...and I made the mistake of mentioning what I want to name a girl around my pregnant sister-in-law..pretty sure she's taking my beautiful girl name :( grr.

Ah well. Kudos to her for being pregnant before me, right?

 

Family dinners are getting so awkward for me. I am insanely jealous of my fiance's sister in law who is pregnant (and already has a ridiculously cute 2 year old daughter), but fiance's parents would keel over if we got pregnant before we're married.

 

post #159 of 505


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brighids Flame View PostAnd there is still that tiny little part of me that gets disappointed when AF arrives.


You know, AF is visiting me right now and I'm actually relieved -- like YAY! I made it another month. So I guess I'm more like wanting...in a few months...and therefore waiting. I am wanting THEN and NOT WANTING now. Any others?

 


Quote:

Originally Posted by JMJ View Post DH has been working on the taxes and lamenting the fact that we won't have another tax deduction by next year.
 

My husband said the same thing. It made me get chills. It feels wrong to be to talk about having another baby in order to get a tax deduction. I mean, yeah I understand that a baby born on Dec 31 or Jan 1 is actually a matter of $1K, but shouldn't we plan that baby and consider HIM/HER first, and THEN the financial benefit that he/she would bring us????? duh.gif
 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gator-mom View Post

I don't blame you at all for waiting!  I am in school too, and even though I really want to start trying now, I am waiting until the baby would be due after I am graduated next May.  And the only reason that I am not waiting to TRY until I graduate is that my DS is 4 now, and I am trying to narrow the gap as much as possible.  If I didn't have any kids yet, I would definitely be just waiting until I was graduated and had a steady job and all that..

 

 

I'm waiting too due to school. I want to conceive while in school (online, part time) and have the baby right after finishing. My DH is pushing to have the baby sooner. I am going to have to drag my feet because I know myself -- I CANNOT do school with a toddler and a newborn. I don't want to. I will get depressed. He thinks a 3 year spacing is great and that a 3 year 5 month spacing is WAY TOO BIG. I agree that the 3 year spacing is ideal, but I really want to finish this program without a newborn!!! So next best thing seems to be 3 years 5 months. Mamas? What do you all think? shrug.gif



 

 

post #160 of 505


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by molliecat View Post




Mollie is actually my cat's name, lol. My name is Jen. I do love the name Mollie though :)

I have my kids names picked out...and I made the mistake of mentioning what I want to name a girl around my pregnant sister-in-law..pretty sure she's taking my beautiful girl name :( grr.

Ah well. Kudos to her for being pregnant before me, right?

 

Family dinners are getting so awkward for me. I am insanely jealous of my fiance's sister in law who is pregnant (and already has a ridiculously cute 2 year old daughter), but fiance's parents would keel over if we got pregnant before we're married.

 

Haha sorry!

 

I would be PISSED if someone took my future child's name. Who does she think she is? That's messed up.
 

 

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