Originally Posted by sosurreal09
I KWYM Jay. DH and I are over some troubled waters right now. He has been under a lot of stress at work and he has been freaking out. He still insists we should "just get pregnant now" but his actions are making me want to wait longer...I certainly can't add another family member if DH can't handle the way it currently is. He has sort of been going through a "quarter life crisis". IDK how to explain it really...
Sorry to hear about this. I understand the work-related stress, as DH and I were dealing with this for several weeks not too long ago, and I totally understand feeling 'not ready' when it comes to TTC because of it. I hope everything works out with his job, and I also hope that everything works out for the best in terms of TTC (whether you decide to wait or decide to move forward).
Originally Posted by lakeruby
SweetTea-- I have definitely felt that way! I realllly want a baby but as soon as my DP says "okay let's go for it" I get cold feet! I'm sure it will happen for us soon, but right now I'm just trying to enjoy the waiting and check things off of my to-do list.
You know, now that I've had a while to think about it, I do think cold feet played a big role in my change of heart. I think that after such a long time of looking forward to TTC, and seeing it as this far off event, it was startling and scary to look at the calendar and start seeing our TTC date looming larger and larger on the horizon. Neither he nor I have ever done this before -- this would be our first child.
As an update on where we are right now, DH and I have talked about all this at length several times this week. We've now decided to not move on to TTC, at least not officially, but instead to no longer prevent. Our rationale is that we've been a couple for a long time, and we've discussed why this summer is the best time to start trying for years prior to now. At the same time, we both know intuitively that we'll always be able to come up with dozens and dozens of reasons why we should wait to try another week, month, year, and if we wait for the stars to line up perfectly and everything to be totally in place, we'll never get around to TTC. At the same time, we both agree that there is no rush to start temping and charting and using OPKs -- we can take a more relaxed approach and just not prevent and see what happens. We'd be happy to have a few more months alone, but we'd also be thrilled if we get a BFP. I for one feel so much relief about this decision: technically we're not 'waiting' but we aren't doing too much more than we have been doing to 'try.' I'm charting, but mostly just to keep an eye on CM and so I know when to expect my period (days go by before I even remember to update). My BB thermometer is still packed up, and I plan to leave it where it is for the foreseeable future.
Originally Posted by zenmumajen
Well it seems like my "wanting" was maybe something more out of boredom for lack of a better word. Thoughts about having another baby were always around and there was not a day that could go by that I wouldn't think about it. Every time that DF and I were intimate I would think about getting pregnant. Though that still has not gone away I don't think about having another baby as often.
I feel so busy with my son's 1st birthday coming up in July and a storm of family birthdays/weddings right before that. I also just took on my first doula client who will most likely be delivering in July so getting pregnant is off my radar...at least for now. I really feel like I need to get my doula business started and work on that for a year. We have been planning on trying next summer once our son is near 2. I also really want a spring baby so I feel like it would be a perfect time. Considering how fast this year has gone by it seems so crazy to me to be adding to our family in only one year but waiting until 2013 seems too far away. I'm learning to let go of the day, the month, or even the year that we will try, because I feel that it is just setting up myself for disappointment. Just trying to trust that it will happen when it is the right time.
That's exciting that you've got your first client. Looks like your business if officially off to a great start, and I hope everything goes smoothly for you and your client. I also appreciate your last sentiment about letting go of the specifics of when to try. That's sort of where DH and I are right now -- trying to take so much of the 'planning' and analyzing out of this whole thing because it's just getting to stressful to think about. I wish you guys luck in the future, whenever you start TTC.
Originally Posted by tellmemore
I was looking for a thread like this! We are WTT, but may switch to TTC #3 soon!
Welcome to the thread!
I guess I am going to take a step back from this thread for awhile. I feel like I'm sort of in a limbo right now -- not WBW, but not actively trying (ie, temping, using OPKs, or aiming for specific days to do the do) either. I don't want to annoy anyone who is still truly waiting because I know how frustrating it can be to hear updates from people who say they're waiting, but who I feel are pretty much TTC, whether they choose to call it that or not. I really really appreciate how supportive everyone has been. Also, who knows, I could very well be back, because if I've learn anything in the last couple months, this whole decision making process is pretty fluid, and I'm giving myself every right to change my mind at any time.