Think Im pregnant with no. 3 and not happy about it - Page 2

[liberal_chick]

I could've written your post a year ago!  Although my kids were younger at the time (4.5 and 10 months), I had decided I was done and was ready for dh to go get a vasectomy (which he had wanted since ds2 was born and I begged him not to b/c I wanted another kid in a few years).  Ds2 was so needy, though, that I decided "done!"  I, too, was due in September in the south, so it was miserably hot all summer (and our air conditioner died in August!).

Anyway, I wasn't happy to be pregnant the entire time.  I largely ignored the fact as much as possible and just went on with life.  When I went into labor, I was so excited b/c I had been dreading it and was ready to get it over with for the last time.  It took me a bit of time to warm up to ds3 even after he was here, but now I can't imagine life without him.  And I knew that's how it would eventually be, but getting to that place was a long and hard journey for me.

[amaayeh]

I just have to say that I am so happy that I am not alone.  We had always thought about having a third, but last May found out we were getting moved to California from Texas and would be moving at the end of summer.  Then we get here and not only could we not sell our house back in Texas, our rental here was infested with rats and I was a wreck.  After fighting very hard to get out of that lease (and losing a ton more money), we finally found another one (at a ridiculous price), but at least it was clean.  BAM!  Found out two weeks later I was pregnant.  We did use protection - guess it didn't work.  I waited three days after I just knew because I couldn't bring myself to test.  Dh and I don't have the most stable of marriages, add the move, a new job and a ton and a half of stress...needless to say I was not at all thrilled about this baby.  We are due at the end of June (very close to DD1's bday, of which I'm not happy about) and our lease for this rental is up on August 15.  So, no matter what I will be moving with a newborn, with no family or friends to help.  I'm 17 weeks and still break down crying at all of it.  I'm so bitter about not getting to be happy in any form or fashion about this baby nor will I get to be happy once it is here.  Just stress.  My dh sounds like yours in his reaction and just keeps saying "It will all be ok."  I know better than that.  He works constantly and the last time we moved it was 100% up to me to pack and get everything done.  Guess what?  It will be this time as well no matter if I have a newborn or not.

Ugh.  Didn't mean to make this about me, but I guess it just struck a huge chord with me.  I'm not at all excited about this baby and a bit resentful about the added stress it is causing me.  I feel terrible guilt for these feelings on top of it.  I wish I could say it gets better, etc., but for me, it hasn't.  Maybe once it is here?  Who knows.  I hope you have a brighter outlook than I do!!!

[OkiMom]

mmmmochi- where in Japan are you? You can order things off of the American version of Amazon and have it shipped to you. I live in Japan but all my car seats are from state-side ordered through Amazon. I have a Radian as well and a Screna and there is plenty of enough room for the baby's car seat when it comes in the back of our car.  It will work out Im sure.

[OrganicMermaid]

I'm in the EXACT same situation as you.  Two kids, 7 and 4, done breastfeeding, done with diapers, no more maternity clothes, no more baby stuff.  All gone.  I was done.  Had a total random slip-up early December after a Christmas party and found out on Christmas Eve I was pregnant.  I was sooooo sad and mad.  I was thrilled about having my body back to myself, my independence, etc.  

So I'm warming up to the idea and actually kind of getting excited about it now that I'm 6 weeks.  Been online looking at maternity clothes, slings, and all that.  Problem is that I've been having horrible abdominal pains since Christmas (that's actually how I found out about being prego because I thought I had appendicitis and the dr did a urine test and told me).  So since then I've had 3 ultrasounds but still can't see a yolk sac or heartbeat.  I go back again in another 9 days really hoping they'll find it this time even though I was originally so devestated to find out.

My point is, that whatever is meant to be will be.  I've decided to welcome either result with open arms.  I hope the same will come for you.  Good luck!

[ashleypLC]

What's with the holidays and "slip up" pregnancies?  Add me to the list!!  Dang New Year's Eve! lol 

Less than a year ago when we found out about #4 I was depressed!  I mean seriously depressed, I actually begged and prayed for a miscarriage.  Especially because I was so sick from the extra progesterone I had to take and the daily shots for blood clots.  I was NOT HAPPY!  And neither was my family as I told them all.  We found out early at 13 weeks "it" was a boy and I made a turn for the better.  Not only was I physically feeling better but mentally and spiritually as well.  So even though adding a baby can seem really overwhelming at first I hope that you'll soon remember all the joys.

Now pregnant with number 5, I'm not happy or sad...just sort of numb I guess.  I, too, gave away ALL the baby clothes, carseat, maternity clothes, etc.  And as a good friend told me at the time, "you know you're jinxking yourself, right?"  Boy was she right!  So please know you are not alone and this board has some amazingly supportive women (as I'm quickly finding out) to help you through.  Good luck Momma, you'll be great!

[Lauren82]

I can relate. This is #4 for us and was a surprise. We had been through some heartbreaking losses and while we knew we eventually wanted one more child, I was excited about my independence. I had started some classes I had been wanting to take and working on my jewelry design business. The kids (8, 5 and 3) are all out of my bed, no one is breastfeeding any more and I got rid of all of my maternity clothes.

Then *boom*. My body had a normal cycle (it threw me off!) and I ended up pregnant. I knew it right away too.

I've been going back and forth between feeling guilty and feeling depressed. It's hard to imagine how a 4th is going to fit in. I remain hopeful that things will eventually fall into place. I'm trying to give myself permission to get excited over some little things after feeling so negative. It helps a little thinking about that new baby smell and the tiny little coos.

[mmmmochi]

I have decided that this community is not for me due to another issue.

I really appreciate all the supportive words and kindness.

Thank you all so much. You really helped me over the past couple of weeks, and I am now much clearer about the future.