I have no idea what's going to happen. Where will I want to labor? Will it be strange not knowing my progress? (no internal exams), will I really like using a birth ball? What will it be like with no IV and complete range of movement? What will it be like having so many women around me "watching" me? Will I know when to push? Will I want to push in the water? Will a doula really help me? Will the midwife make it in time? Will my girls love it or scream their heads off when they see me in labor? Will I tear? What will it be like to wait until the cord stops pulsating before cutting it? Ok so is anyone else experiencing this? I could go on and on with these questions! This is my third, I've had two natural births in a hospital...and I fee like I'm having my first all over again! I guess I'm just a little nervous. But excited.
Having your first homebirth but feels like you're having your first baby?
Oh I felt this way with #2! I had a great natural hospital birth w/#1 and still was really anxious about #2 at home. As long as you want to be at home then you just have to face those anxieties head on and address them one by one. It helped me to write them down (you're already on your way) and try to answer truthfully each one. There were some that could be addressed beforehand and some that I just had to imagine how I would feel then. Even w/#3 I think birth classes are invaluable (Bradley, Hypnobirth, Birthing from Within, etc) It's nice to have uninterrupted time to focus on THIS birth and get ready emotionally and physically. Blessings on your birth!
Heh! I remember how I felt having my first HB! I had tons of ?s just like you all. We are now planning our 4th HB and I'm looking forward to it. Some of those questions, you will ask yourself every single time, such as "Will my MW make it in time?". HA! I agree that taking a more intense HB/childbirth class just as carrierwright mentioned will certainly answer your questions/ease your fears. Before our first HB, hubby and myself took Bradley classes and can't say enough good things about it! There are other things you can do, too, such as watching HB videos (there are a lot on YouTube) and reading tons of HB stories.
Some of those questions you asked - you won't know until you experience it yourself. Only you will be deciding where you will choose to labor at and you will LOVE not being hooked up to a stinking IV! And if there are too many people in the room, then simply send them out! You will be pleasantly surprised at how simple the HB process is compared to hospital birthing!
Well, now I just feel like I SHOULD be worried! haha
I am planning my first HB, third delivery, and am totally confident about it. I have visualized how it's going to go, I am okay with delivering on my own if the MW doesn't show up in time, and I also okay with doing whatever I need to do to make sure I have the privacy and support I need during labor. I guess if it hadn't been for the mix of positive and negative experiences I've had in my past births I wouldn't feel so "okay" with the whole HB thing. Up until last week we were also planning on UCing, so maybe my confidence is also up a bit since I now have the added security of a MW if anything goes wrong.
You'll do wonderful though! Just listen to your body and do what feels natural and write down all these fears so that you can talk about them with your midwife. Maybe come up with an "action plan" of some sorts just in case any of these "what if's" come true?