does this *schedule* sound good for 6 mo

[aumismommy]

Despite my love of snuggling my son and co-sleeping for the first six months, I wasn't sleeping and was a zombie throughout the day to the point where I had to drag myself off the couch and out of bed to play with him.  Not good.  We kept co-sleeping for a few more weeks after I realized I was not sleeping and that's where the zombie-ness was coming from, but it just seemed like time to transition.  What we were doing was naps in his cosleeper, and then the first stretch at night in there, then we'd pull him into bed and he'd nurse whenever he wanted.  He'd also wake up, toss and turn, get up and sleep-crawl while crying.  So desperate for what to do I called my sister and friends and they all did versions of the CIO.  I terribly disagree with it but agreed to do (along with my husband) a gentler approach.  Well, after the first night I decided I wanted to "cheat" because it didn't feel right.  So what we are doing now is this:

7am - awake

845am - naptime for about one hour

12n- naptime for 1hr-2hrs

345- naptime for 1-1.5hrs

630pm - start bedtime routine which is bath, daddy singing, nurse to almost sleep (not zonked out but pretty much), then in his bed around 715pm

Up 3 times to nurse at night, usually 3-5 hour intervals (we sit in a fluffy chair and sometimes we both fall asleep for a couple hours, sometimes he just nurses a bunch then I lay him down and I go back to bed)

Just needing some advice as all my friends just do the CIO method and never coslept so they look at this and wonder why I'm nursing him to sleep and why I'm getting up with him so much at night.  Me, I'm wondering if it's enough at night!

THANK YOU - please post!

[goldingoddess]

Well, personally I don't see how getting out of bed 3 times a night to nurse your infant is going to get you more sleep then co-sleeping.

Really I've found that co-sleeping got me more sleep with my infant because  I just barely woke up to nurse AND baby slept later/longer then friends/family that did CIO because co-sleeping babies are generally content to nurse in the mornings instead of waking up.

Also, I found my infant did not get into a 'normal' 24 hour schedule til around a year.

[MsFortune]

I don't see how this gets you more sleep, either.  The big advantage to me of cosleeping was the half awake breastfeeding.  

Really, I did not get good sleep until DS was able sleep for longer at night without eating.  I slowly pushed feeds out with longer periods between them at night.  It got better at about six months for what it's worth.

Right now I'm going through the same thing with my four month old.  I'm so freaking tired!

[Knitting Mama]

I think you should give it a try if it's what you want to do. You may not get any more sleep that way. You may find that he doesn't sleep well without you there. Or, you may find that it works well for you. Some parents say that once they consolidate their baby's nighttime nursing by not co-sleeping, the baby eats more at once and goes back to sleep for longer. I wouldn't expect miracles, but go for it if you want to try it.

[aumismommy]

What I am finding is that he is nursing much more at the 3 feedings than he ever did while cosleeping.  When we were cosleeping I felt like I was awake (even if only for a moment and only partially awake at that) every hour.  At least with this new way I get a stretch of solid sleep and he actually nurses and takes a solid feeding.  I'm hoping over the next couple months to get it to two nursings at night and then leave it at that for however long it needs to be that way.  That will definitely be more sleep for everyone.  I am really struggling with this, obviously, because of how much I love cosleeping...but the struggle is if I'm loving it because I love snuggling him and all that and at what cost - is he not sleeping well because of DH tossing and turning and am I not sleeping because of both of them?  I'm not really sure about it.  I just need everyone to sleep and DS to nurse well.

[Knitting Mama]

NAK- Some people have found that having separate beds-- one for husband, one for wife and baby-- is the best solution. The reasoning is that you will have your entire life together to bedshare with your husband, but your baby will only need to nurse and snuggle for a finite time. Not sure if that's a possible solution for you or not.

[octobermom]

 I do all of it at night  meaning my LO does independent sleep in her crib, I get up and nurse her 'sitting up" and shes cosleeps/nurses... Basically our nights...

 Nurse to bed (ussually till full and sastified not always till asleep) around 7-8pmish

sleeps till around midnight 1amish in her crib wakes I bring her into the living room and nurse

back in her crib till around 4amish

up joins me in my bed cosleeps/nurses till around 8amish when we get up for the day.

she takes one long morning nap in her crib and I ussually lay down with her a bit in the afternoon (so one nap solo one nap cosleeping)

 We do it this way cause it works for us and is perfect for ME. I am the best mom when I can get a block of solo sleep yes even away from DH who is a terrible snorer. Baby corooms though..

By sitting up for the first feeding which I ussually still awake for anyways I can encourage a full feeding then get in those good 4 hours before shes wakes again.. Then I still get my baby snuggles and I grab extra morning sleep cause of the cosleeping...

Deanna

[octobermom]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

NAK- Some people have found that having separate beds-- one for husband, one for wife and baby-- is the best solution. The reasoning is that you will have your entire life together to bedshare with your husband, but your baby will only need to nurse and snuggle for a finite time. Not sure if that's a possible solution for you or not.

 This is us. I sleep in the Nursery with the Baby part of the night corooming (baby in crib) part cosleeping... Honestly though DH and I rarely bedshare at least not for night sleep. Our marriage is fine super strong but DH snores its awful and I get ZERO sleep having newborn fatigue was nothing compared to trying to get any sleep with his snoring... He knows it so for my sanity well cuddle and talk and do all the ummm wifey things... BUT when it comes to night sleep I move to another bed.. 

Deanna
Thi

[Hannah32]

Even when my baby was in his crib and nursing 3 times per night, I was still getting more straight, consolidated sleep in those stretches than I EVER got co-sleeping. It depends on what type of co-sleeper your baby is. Mine was the "whack mommy in the face all night" type post 10 weeks, so I wasn't getting more than an hour or two at a time. Better, IMO, to get up every 3-5 hours and get straight sleep inbetween. 

Now, at 6.5 months, we're getting fairly consistent five-six hour stretches. Moving away from co-sleeping worked for us, along with dad taking a night feeding. 

[P.J.]

If you suspect your baby may be sleeping poorly because of your husband, then find an arrangement where your DH can sleep separately. My DH sleeps many nights on the sofa (it's big and comfy) in his office/living room, mainly because he snores. IMO the cosleeping arrangement is more important than sleeping with your husband, and he can move back into the family bed at some point obviously ~ maybe the baby will sleep better in a few months or after 1 year. It's just a temporary thing, yet the benefits of cosleeping with your baby are numerous and profound and will last him a lifetime. It sounds like your mothering instincts are leading you there anyhow; follow them. Of course if DH leaves and your son continues to toss and turn then by all means change the arrangement. Some babies do sleep better alone.

[slgt]

I see mamas have strong feelings about this! Remember that every baby, every mama, and every mama/baby pair is different. With DD#1, she was up at least hourly - awake, wanting to nurse, not wanting to nurse, wanting to play - from 4-6 months. Co-sleeping quite frankly sucked and there was not so much sleeping. Moved her into a crib in her own room at 6 months, and the first night - no tears, she only woke once or twice to nurse and was a much more well-rested baby after that! As she got older it has become clear that she's a very social kid, and all kinds of sleep involving one of us next to her/snuggling keep her awake because she wants to talk and play - even at age 3!

DD#2 is almost 6 months, and nights have been a struggle since about 4 1/2 months. Not that she's wide awake like DD#1 was, but she's just restless when she's in bed with us from about 2 a.m. on. The times when I have been able to keep myself awake and put her back in the co-sleeper after she nurses, she sleeps a longer stretch (last night - 4 hours vs. hourly!) and I sleep better, too. I'm going to try to start nursing her in the rocker and see if that helps me be better about getting her in the co-sleeper.

I know there are advantages to co-sleeping, and it was great with DD#2 until recently - but an exhausted mama and restless sleep for baby? Hmmmm. Every kid is different, every mama is different! Do what works for you and your little one.

[Buzzer Beater]

I am reading this with bleary eyes and a foggy head after a crappy crappy night of sleep. DD has been nursed and rocked back to sleep...

OP- Wish I knew what the answer was, we are searching and struggling right now too because I think the lack of sleep is affecting all of us. I'd cosleep if we could, but dd just lies there pulling my hair or my bra strap after nursing. She has done okay in the cosleeper, sometimes in our bed in the a.m. up til the last 8 weeks or so. Now it seems like she wakes every 1.5 to 2 hours needing help to get back down. She rarely nurses much- I don't think it's hunger. I think it's an inability to fall back to sleep on her own between sleep cycles. I have nursed her down for over seven months for each nap and night unless she was in the car. I got the No Cry Nap Solution and we are working on teaching her skills to fall asleep comfortably on her own during the day, and hoping that transfers over. Supposedly it does. It takes a while, and hopefully it works. My back is also killing me from holding her each and every nap on my lap since she was born. Thankfully my mom got me a kindle!

Good luck, I think you should do what works for you. A question tho, what does your babe do if he needs you? DD is persistent and loud, does not give up...

ETA another reason we don't cosleep is dd wears boots and a brace, doesn't hesitate to swing them around... or lift them and whoooooooomp! right in the middle of the night. We have a king size bed being delivered on the weekend, giving one last chance for cosleeping! If not then hey- I've got a lot of room to roll around!

[aumismommy]

Update - after being in tears last night from not knowing what to do...struggling with what my reason behind being sad about not cosleeping any longer was DH said just to pull DS in with us when he woke up in the middle of the night and that if we just needed to do that from now on then that was fine with him. So we did and DS was up off and on all night long moving, whacking, crying, nursing (but just for moments then falling back asleep). So, maybe he does, or yes he does, get better sleep on his own. Maybe I toss and turn more than I think and that keeps him up or who knows. But we're going to have him sleep in his own bed and if sometimes he needs to be with us or sometimes we need to nap together then we will. My mom told me today as she was explaining that it doesn't have to be like I'm on one team or another (cosleeping or independent) I just do what works for our son - she said "there's no use in either of you crying yourself to sleep because you need snuggling time...if you need it then do it." Thank you for all the support!

[Knitting Mama]

Have you considered trying a sidecarred crib? If you do that, you can have him in his own space but right there for nursing when he needs it.

[carrot_flowers]

I think you might find that baby will stop nursing so often at night if he doesn't smell you right next to him after long.  You reserve the right to go back to co-sleeping if you change your mind!  Good luck, mama.